Frustrated (Venting, I apologize in advance...)

emilianawest · August 2009

So, I've lost 44 lbs. So proud of myself...I have about 75 left to go. I was a size 22. Now I'm a 16. All great things! Somedays I feel rockstar, but it seems like whenever I see a pix of myself that someone has taken, I freak out. I am a recovering bulimic and I refuse to let myself relapse. I want my picture taken though, to get over the fear of it and to document my progress. I've been taking them myself and I'm okay because I can control the angle and make sure I look my best. But when someone else takes it I think I look hideously different! I'm newly single (since about 4 months ago) and dating is hard because I'm so preoccupied with whether or not my date thinks I'm "fat". The guys so far have been gentlemen, but this stupid nagging fat fear is the first thing that pops in my head when they dont call back right away.

Thanks for listening. I'm usually optimistic and pumped. Tonight is an off night and I'm trying not to let it landslide. That's why I came here instead of my kitchen.

If anyone is looking for a weight loss buddy, please hit me up. I could definitely use some encouragement on days like today and new friends are always appreciated. (MSN IM: emilianawest0213@hotmail.com)

Wecandothis · August 2009

You have shown a great deal of self control, and wisdom in coming here and not going to the kitchen!!! That too is something to be very proud of. Recognizing our weaknesses will take the power that they hold over us and destroy it.

You have recognized that you sometimes still suffer from low self esteem and can have a warped view of how you really look - and that will help you battle it until you no longer suffer from these lies.

Bless you!

arewethereyet · August 2009

Honey, it isnt just you!! We ALL do that. I will send you some pix of myself that I would DIE if anyone saw them.

I read about a therapy where there is a photographer who takes beautiful sexy pictures to show you just how beautiful you are.

Em you are a lovely lady who has accomplished aLOT!!

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

SDawgW · August 2009

I met my husband when I was at my smallest. I had about 10 pounds left to lose at that point, but was pretty happy with myself. For the first time in my life, I actually felt pretty and attractive.

Since we met, I gained 50 pounds (plus another 25 when I was pregnant). He still, to this day, cannot keep his hands off of me. I have myself a man that knows what the important characteristics are in a partner. Looks will eventually fade and if you have found someone that appreciates you for YOU and not for what you look like, then you will be one of the lucky ones!

If these so-called "men" don't call back because of your physical appearance, then consider yourself lucky that you didn't waste your time on anymore dates with them. Look at it as though they're weeding themselves out for you.

Don't ever let a man OR a random picture dictate your worth and beauty. :flowerforyou:

Hannah_Banana · August 2009

First off congratulations on your weight loss!

Last night I actually started documenting mine, so I dug out some short shorts and a skin tight shirt and painted myself into them. I really wanted full body shots from 3 angles and I don't know how to set a timer on my camera, so I had to let hubby do it. Let me tell you, I smiled for the pictures, but once I saw them, I had to make sure DH didn't see me cry. :brokenheart:

We struggle with our body image just as much as we struggle to lose weight. Loving yourself is a process but it starts with being proud of what you've accomplished and strong in what you are still accomplishing. :flowerforyou:

LaurelFisher · August 2009

I met my husband when I was at my smallest. I had about 10 pounds left to lose at that point, but was pretty happy with myself. For the first time in my life, I actually felt pretty and attractive.

Good evening, Just visiting and thought I would share my story. I can be found on the 50 and over thread. I know what you mean. I met my husband January of 1974 (after losing about 40 lbs. I weighed 135lbs) we were married on March 1, 1974. (we knew each other a little over a month) We are still married 35 years later. I started this diet June 1st at 221lbs. and have lost 33 lbs. so far. My husband has stuck with me through the death of our 14 year old son:brokenheart: , losing my hair and almost going bald, gaining weight, losing weight and never during all of this has he stopped wanting me or loving me. Love is forever and if someone truly loves you, they will love you through thick and THIN.

leavinglasvegas · August 2009

Pictures are not my friend, :devil: grrrrr
But soon one day they will be and I will have a house of mirrors so I can see myself all the live long day!

Pick up your chin, and tell yourself you are beautiful, cuz you are!

emilianawest · August 2009

Thank you so much everyone. Its beautiful friends like you that keep me moving along the straight and narrow path to good health.

April0815 · August 2009

I agree with the above comments. You don't want anyone that will judge you for your size. I htink most of us on here was probably smaller when we met our husbands. My husband has never made me feel like I was fat. Just like SDawg said my husband can't keep his hands off of me. To me that's a real man. My husband is in great shape and i feel the same way about him, if he was to gain alot of weight or lose his hair, you could'nt drag me away from him. Another thing you have to think of, if someone doesn't like your size he wouldn't have went on the date in the first place. Don't read so much into it. Just go and enjoy yourself when it's your time to meet someone you will and you will know if it's the right one. Don't settle for just anyone wait for Mr. Right.

Message me anytime you would like to talk.

Frustrated (Venting, I apologize in advance...)

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