Friend made me feel bad about myself..or I'm I just a sensit
jgarrisond
Posts: 44 Member
So I have a friend who had bypass surgery a couple of months ago and lost quite a bit of weight and she looks really good and I am proud of her and how far she has come..but the other day we were talking I had made the comment about my weight loss and she asked how much have you lost so of course me being all proud of myself but not wanting to show it say 17 lbs. She just looked at me almost with a look of that is it or I don't see it.....I was heartbroken I have been working hard measuring and weighing my food and watch my calorie intake and I am so proud of myself..don't get me wrong she has made comments about how good I have done, but I guess just the look on her face upset me..so am I just a sensitive Sally?
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Replies
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Senstivy u r doing it the proper wau not needing a opeartion so just remeber that0
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Senstivy u r doing it the proper wau not needing a opeartion so just remeber that
I totally agree! You are doing it the right way, remember - slow and steady wins the race!0 -
Congrats on your loss!! 17 lbs is great! Especially when you have to work hard for every single one of those pounds
Not saying she didn't, but for your journey you are doing wonderful. 0 -
Don't feel bad, she is the one that went the "easy" way..... you are doing a life changing operation and this will take long for longer results......
17 lbs is not "that's it ?" 17 lbs is " wow great job ...."0 -
I also have those days when I take too much stock in someone else's reaction. Perhaps she was surprised that it is "just" 17 pounds because you look so much healthier that she just thought it was more. Or maybe you caught her on an off-day. Or maybe she's jealous. No matter what, you're not doing this all for her, right? You are doing it for YOU, so you're the one who needs to be happy with all you've achieved. I think 17 pounds is amazing, and will sure improve health. So think about how hard you've worked, how much you've invested in a healthier life, and shrug off her odd reaction. Rock it and be proud!!!0
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Ignore her. She took the easy way out. In addition, there are so many health issues associated with bypass surgery. And, since she did not deal and come to terms with what made her overweight, she will most likely gain all the weight back (a large number of people who have this sugery gain a large amount of weight back after 5 years).
You are doing this the correct way. Please have no worries. If she gives you crap about how you are losing weight, she is no friend.
Keep on trucking along. And, remember, we are all here to support you.0 -
I'd be a little upset too if a friend did that to me. Your friend had surgery to help her lose weight, and I take it you've been doing it all by yourself by eating right and working out, yeah? If so, I say GOOD TO YOU!!! 17 pounds is great!! I wouldn't let her get you down. Be proud of your hard work!! 0
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I can understand why your feelings would be hurt. You want her to be happy for you. You want her to notice the effort! The truth is, no one can MAKE us feel something that isn't already in us. I'm wondering if you have a tendency to judge yourself harshly. When we have trouble being proud of ourselves, then every time anyone doesn't acknowledge our hard work we feel that much more defeated. Every step you take toward your own better health is admirable and worthy celebration, whether others acknowledge it or not. Congratulations on your accomplishments and keep up the good work! You're worth it!0
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Yup... I agree keep doing what you are doing. Friends shouldn't make you feel like that even if it is by accident. Maybe she is being a little weird about it because she feels self conscious.... You are doing it the 'normal' way and she had to resort to EXTREME methods. Each to their own though... Her way works for her and yours works for you
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Let it roll off of you.
You're handling things correctly. Keep it up.0 -
So how long have you been "dieting"? If you started in Feb I would say you are doing great! As long as You are proud of it that is all that matters. Keep up the great work.
I have a few friends that went for the bypass and yes, they lost weight rapidly.....but keeping it off.....another story.
Slow and Steady wins the race. Kudos to You!
P.S. Don't let the look bother you.0 -
I am sorry your friend made that comment, the hormone fluctuations after surgery are insane.. where as what she said was wrong and insensitive, It is really frustrating when people look at those who had surgery to assist with getting healthy with judgmental eyes and say well you are doing it the wrong way or the easy way..
surgery is a very difficult decision and perm life change. Yes some people have abused it , BUT there are whose life depend on it so lets not get all on the WLS surgery band wagon and bash all the people who live day to day for the rest of their life with the decision to have to have the surgery to help live longer lifes for the ones they love.
Congrats on your weight loss sweets!!! 17 lbs is amazing and you are looking fabulous!!! dont let anyone or anything make you feel bad about your hard work
those that matter are proud of you 0 -
Just think how much better off you will be doing it the proper way. No surgery, anasethia (spelling?) no medications, no pain or discomfort, no rehabilitation after. You are working hard and you deserve to be proud. More proud than cutting corners with surgery. Don't get me wrong, i understand and appreciate that some people medically need surgery, but if it elective the pride might be lost.0
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Don't feel bad, she is the one that went the "easy" way..... you are doing a life changing operation and this will take long for longer results......
17 lbs is not "that's it ?" 17 lbs is " wow great job ...."
Agree completely^^0 -
17 lbs is amazing.
I'm a little perturbed by all the references to gastric bypass being the 'easy route'... I have a couple friends who have had it done due to medical conditions, and it is NOT an easy thing -- it can be quite dangerous.
But you and your friend are taking two very different approaches to weight loss. Her reaction is based on her own experiences. She has given you positive feedback and I'm sure it was heartfelt.
Shake it off and carry on -- wish I could say I had 17 lbs lost!!!0 -
Even though a lot of people will disagree & get mad at me for saying this, I consider bypass surgery the "easy way" to lose weigh - unless it is medically necessary.
I would rather battle the scale for the rest of my life than take a chance on something that is not guaranteed. It is not the miracle cure for weightloss because there is no such will be happy when I reach my goal weight knowing that I did it on my own.
It is not the miracle cure (there is no such thing) & it works for SOME people, but not everyone. As proof - Carnie Wilson is having her second bypass surgery.0 -
A good friend of mine had WLS. It's not an "easy" way at all. The weight might be coming off her faster, but there's nothing easy about a major surgery that permanently changes the way you're able to eat. My friend tried every normal way to lose weight, and it just plain didn't work for her. Some folks just have bodies that don't process foods normally. But what she went through wasn't easy. She's meticulous about what she eats, about getting the right nutrition on so few calories. I remember when she was on the liquid stage, and couldn't eat anything solid. She was so starved for FLAVOR that she'd stick her hand in a bag of Doritos just to lick the powder off her fingers. I had another friend die from complications after surgery.
You're doing great doing things the way you're doing them. For all you know, that "look" might have been your friend thinking, "Damn, wish I could have lost 17 pounds since February without having a chunk of my stomach removed. Wish I could have lost weight without limiting myself to a liquid diet for months."0 -
Never let anyone get you down... This is for you and your life! 17 LBS is a heck of an accomplishment.. I usually lose "inches" versus lbs.. and as long as you know you put in the work who cares what anyone THINKS? It was a bit insensitive to say "I don't see it..." but it isn't for her to see- YOU know it!
Keep going and show them what hard work does!0 -
She's emotionally retarded or rude. It's not just you.0
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In my life I know several people who have had the gastric bypass and/or lapband surgery. I'm not here to bash the people who do, but for the ones I know, not a single one has been successful in the long run. I wish every one success in whatever path they follow. After years of yo-yo dieting, I believe that I've finally found the one thing that wll work for me long-term. I started my journey at 290 pounds, didnt even bother taking "before" pictures, as I felt that I was doomed to fail. My mindset right but the staggering amount of weight I had to lose was frightening. Now 23 weeks later at 222 pounds, I'm convinced that this path is the one I can live with the rest of my life.
I still have a long way to go but I started setting 10 pound goals. At every 10 pounds, I would reward myself with something related to my new life changes. Things like a high tech bathroom scale, a high tech food scale to replace the rinky dinky $4 scale I used to measure my dogs food out each day, an HRM, a new pair of walking shoes, water weights for the pool, a Skinny Ms. Crockpot cookbook, etc. I got forward to looking for those 10 pound rewards. Plus I've gone from wearing a size 24-26 to wearing an XL top and 16 pants/shorts and lost a shoe size. LOL
Like I tell my friends, every pound, every part of a pound, is a victory to be celebrated (just not with food). At this point in your journey 17 pounds may not sound as good as what your friend is losing, but I honestly believe in the grand scheme of things, when you reach your ultimate goal, you will be thrilled you did it the way you did.
So be proud of every pound, every ounce that you lose. Don't let others pull you down or make you feel less worthy. YOU are worthy and you WILL succeed if you stick with the changes as lifestyle changes and not just as a diet.0 -
I'd be a little upset too if a friend did that to me. Your friend had surgery to help her lose weight, and I take it you've been doing it all by yourself by eating right and working out, yeah? If so, I say GOOD TO YOU!!! 17 pounds is great!! I wouldn't let her get you down. Be proud of your hard work!!
I agree. Be proud of yourself! Good for you 0 -
Look at it this way....Imagine 17 pounds of butter. That's what you have lost!!!! It may not look like it right away in the mirror, but you really have lost that much. Keep your chin and you motivation up. You didn't gain it over night and you're not going to lose it over night.0
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17 pounds is a great loss! You keep up the good work and you won't have a big *kitten* scar from gastric bypass surgery!0
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Truthfully you don't know what she was thinking. Sometimes we have negative self talk and all of a sudden we convince ourselves that we know what someone was thinking about us when indeed we really aren't certain. So, be confident and rejoice in your weight loss~ you are doing great! So is your friend and her struggles are her own. You both desire the same outcome for yourselves and I imagine want the best for each other too.0
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You should be very proud of yourself for your accomplishment. I have been seriously at this weight loss thing since January and I'm lucky if I have dropped 5 pounds much less 17. As most people have posted you are doing great....watching what you eat, exercising, etc.....more importantly if YOU feel good about your accomplishment then that is all that matters. This is a journey....and it sounds as if you are on the right path. Don't let someone discount all of your hard work....keep it up. Good luck! 0
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:blushing: My fat fingers hit the send button before I meant them to:
There are going to be a lot of people who will disagree with me saying this, but I consider bypass surgery the "easy way out" when it comes to weightloss - unless it is medically necesary.
It is not a miracle cure because there is no such thing for weightloss. It does not work for everyone. As an example, Carnie Wilson is having her second bypass surgery soon.
I would rather battle the scale for the rest of my life than do something that is NOT guaranteed to work for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I reach my goal weight knowing that I did it on my own.0 -
This reminds me of one of my friends. SHe lost a significant amount of weight after she had lapband surgery...
She would always ask me how much I lost and be like, oh, I lost so much, or shed say how "she doesnt get how I can eat so much food" because her tummy is so small now she can barely manage a full meal...
People are out there that are judgmental of other peoples success and how they reach it. Dont worry, just keep on going 0 -
Great Job on your 17lbs. Just keep doing what you are doing and stay focused. It has taken me 3 years to lose 50lbs. I learned what works and what doesn't work in those 3 years. This is a life time change, you don't need to make it fast you need to make it last.
Good Luck and stay strong.0 -
I have also lost 17 pounds since early February. I can tell the difference in how I feel and move; and some clothes fit better now; but to be honest, I've noticed the difference for a while, my Mom says she can see a difference; no other close friends and family have noticed yet, but will soon, and the rest of the world has not yet noticed. But...we are almost there, to that point when most will begin noticing! Don't stop now!
"It takes four weeks for you to see your body changing. It takes eight weeks for friends and family0 -
wasn't through...........
"and it takes about 12 weeks for the rest of the world.
KEEP GOING!"
now I'm through. 0
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