Friend made me feel bad about myself..or I'm I just a sensit

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  • lexidell46
    lexidell46 Posts: 143
    Just to let you know. a friend of mine died recently do to the long term complications of having the surgery. She lost the weight alright But she also but the weight back on. She died of a heart attack at the age of 52. She was always complaining of stomach pains. So you are doing a great thing by changing our life style. Congrats on the 17 lbs.
  • LizKurz
    LizKurz Posts: 340 Member
    You know, I just joined today, but this post caught my eye and I had to say something.

    Please, never put stock into other people's reactions. They are fraught with their own baggage and almost never reflect on you, your person or your behaviors.

    People say and do crazy things all the time. I've had people say some really messed up stuff to me before. Usually what I want to say is "omg, do you realize you just said that out loud?"

    Then I remember it's not me, it's them. They are doing/saying things like this because of their own issues and their own baggage. As someone who resorted by surgery to deal with their weight issues, I'm guessing she proobably felt put off by your success without surgery, and that made her feel less than.

    But seriously don't take it on.

    Beth
  • lpelayomaui
    lpelayomaui Posts: 14
    You can't let what she said define who you are!!!!! I would be celebrating and doing the Happy Dance for those 17 pounds you lost. Having surgery seems like an easy way out and in the end, what do people actually learn. And....I hear you can't eat much of anything after that, so basically you are starving yourself. You are awesome, so don't let it get to you. Keep weighing and measuring, journaling, and posting here where you will get the support you need. She might just be jealous that you were able to do it all by yourself! I applaud you!
  • lindathecurtainlady
    lindathecurtainlady Posts: 6
    I am sorry your friend made that comment, the hormone fluctuations after surgery are insane.. where as what she said was wrong and insensitive, It is really frustrating when people look at those who had surgery to assist with getting healthy with judgmental eyes and say well you are doing it the wrong way or the easy way..

    surgery is a very difficult decision and perm life change. Yes some people have abused it , BUT there are whose life depend on it so lets not get all on the WLS surgery band wagon and bash all the people who live day to day for the rest of their life with the decision to have to have the surgery to help live longer lifes for the ones they love.

    Congrats on your weight loss sweets!!! 17 lbs is amazing and you are looking fabulous!!! dont let anyone or anything make you feel bad about your hard work <3 those that matter are proud of you <3

    Thank you for saying what I was thinking, I have had surgery.. and have lost over 100 pounds... It is NOT the easy way, it is a massive change of life... one that i am so glad I did! I would do it in a flash...

    But I have also learnt that everyone is different.... we all deserve to be praised for whatever little or big amount of weight that is lost... because every pound is hard earned.. We need to find what works for you and you alone.

    Be proud of your 17 pounds weight loss huni, cause I know how damn hard it is to lose! And yes, maybe you were having a sensitive day.... we are all going to have those, and think that the responses we get aren't what we were hoping for... but soon, you will be getting the "OH MY GOD!! Look at you!!" shocked and impressed reaction.. and then you will know that it is all worth it.

    Big pat on the back to everyone today I think!

    xx
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    No one can "MAKE" you feel anything, that's is up to you to feel the way you feel. They can do something to cause you to have the feeling, but no one can make you do anything, you have the power to control that. WE control what we let get to us.

    I'm sorry you feel bad. I don't think you are sensitive for your human nature feelings, we all have them and you are never wrong to feel how you feel, but don't blame how you feel on someone else :). I echo what most everyone has said, 17lbs is great, and you should be proud. If she isn't proud of you maybe she's a little jealous that you are doing in on your own? Or Maybe she didn't know what to say? Anyways, keep your head up and keep going :)
  • Austin1988
    Austin1988 Posts: 243 Member
    you should get some weights or vest that weighs 17lbs and wear them/it around all day. This would show you how far you have come! I realize this is not very realistic, but 17lbs is a LOT of weight! Great job.
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