help find my pace

Sub nine minutes, but can't make it a mile definitely means you are over-pacing yourself. Slow yourself down and run at what's considered a conversational pace, where you could talk to someone while running at that pace. Once you can get some distance going, you can start working on increasing your pace.

When I started running, it was on a treadmill. And I got up to where I could run for an hour solid at around a 10:15-10:30 min per mile-ish pace. The first time I ran outside I was dying before I made it a half a mile and had to stop to walk and catch my breath. Then I repeated the same thing again. Finally, the next time I started running, checked my pace on my RunKeeper app. I was trying to run at a sub-nine minute pacing. Once I slowed myself down to what my actual comfortable pace was, I easily killed the run mileage I set out to do that day.

Just because you can do short distances at a higher pace, doesn't mean that's your pace. That'd be like a sprinter saying that's their minutes per mile pace, even though they can't conceivably maintain that pace for a distance like that. (using an extreme simply to illustrate the point)

Well, it depends on your goals. If you're running fast enough that you can only do a mile at your current pace, and found that you can go further when you're running with your wife, it means you're running too fast to sustain for distance. Which isn't a bad thing, if your goal isn't distance, but if you'd like to add more, you'll need to pace yourself better, add mileage, and work on speed once you get the miles.

If your goal is speed, though, by all means, keep going the pace you're going, so long as it's comfortable for you, and not a strain. I have a friend who goes out and does a bit over a mile, every day, at around a 7:30 pace, and he has no interest in adding miles, he just likes to go out and run for that mile. Works for him. If you want to add distance, try slowing it down, and you'll be able to add miles onto your runs.

Ideally, if you're trying to add distance but keep up speed in the long run, you'll want to do a combination of both types of running during the week, because they'll train different muscles. Play around with it, see what works for you. That's the beauty of running; it fits every body, and every lifestyle.