Kicked unfaithful husband out, eating like crazy
slimmingmom
Posts: 297
I need motivation and support. I feel SOOO alone. I've got my 8 month old to take care of and i've got no job and i'm just sooo stressed!!!
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Replies
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*Hugs* It's going to be okay. If you want to work, go apply for everyone that is hiring. Find a sitter. Talk to your DH. Find out if you guys want to work this out or not. I'm so sorry this happened.0
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Emotional eating is one of the toughest things to overcome. I have one suggestion. Every time you are tempted to eat to satisfy an emotional rather than a physical need, remember how HOT you are going to look at 135 lbs. :drinker: :drinker:
If you don't reconcile with your hubby, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you look HOT , and hopefully, that will make him miserable!! --assuming that is what will make YOU feel good.
If that is not your mindset, think of how HOT you will look at 135 lbs. and how he will do anything to keep you happy to make up for his indiscretion.
Pick the scenario that is your motivation and run with it. Get support from family, friends, MFP. As far as working is concerned. Depending upon your background and skills, check out temp agencies. If you attended a college or technical school with a placement department, see if they can be a resource for job leads!!
It won't be easy, but stick to your fitness plan, for YOU!!! And think of how good you are going to look and feel watching your cute baby grow up!!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
that's awful, but remember that you're not alone - there are thousands upon thousands of people without jobs right now, and i'm sure there are PLENTY that are having relationship problems as well. But think of it this way (in terms of your emotional eating) - it may provide you with temporary comfort, but it will only make you feel worse about yourself because that's "ANOTHER thing" that "isn't going right" for you. if you can really stick to your diet and exercise plan, and just power through, it will really give you something to focus on, and feel good about!
so just keep powering through, remember you're not alone, and with a bit of time it will really start to show and pay off, and all those awful days in between really begin to mean something, because you did something really positive and beneficial for YOU, and you can feel really good about that.0 -
You can get through this. You can do it for yourself, and you can do it for your little one. Instead of stress-eating, try stress-walking.... put your little one in the stroller, and walk til you're not so upset/angry/hurt/betrayed/fill-in-the-blank.... your little one will enjoy the stroller time and the views, and you'll be doing something productive.
Start planning on your walks - you have the whole world open to you, with the exception of any options you don't want to take.... decide whether you want to move "home", move in with a friend, get a job, who can help with your little one, decide one thing at a time, and you will get through this.
Adopt a new mantra: "I am strong. This, too, shall pass." Say it to yourself as you walk.... chant it in your head....
I'm so sorry you're in this place right now. *huge mama-to-mama hugs*
That baby of yours will keep you smiling, sometimes through your tears.... let that be a little bit of therapy for yourself too. :ohwell: :flowerforyou:0 -
hugs0
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I am so sorry this happened to you. But just remember looking good is the best revenge. I know thats little comfort right now. Do you have family to support you through this tough time?0
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That is terrible. Emotional eating is the worst- don't beat yourself up too much for it though. You're doing the best you can with a crap situation. Try to remember that you can't control him, but you do have control over you. Do your best to be strong and there are lots of people here for support if you ever need it. This too will pass.0
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pull yourself together woman! You're about to start enjoying the best ride of your life! Hold on tight cause there's gonna be twists and turns, but enjoy it all because you're worth it!0
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Slimming mom, you look great in that picture. Now, when I'm really angry at someone, I go to the gym and work it off. Some how my workouts are really good when I'm angry. You don't have to have a gym to do that. As suggested, you can go for a walk (or a run). Sometimes, when I'm so angry, running hard was the only thing that made me feel a bit better (getting all the pent up stress out of my system).
Now, what you do with your husband will depend on what you want (of course). What ever you decide, whether you reconcile or stay separated, what you do next should be for yourself. Be strong, be deliberate. Think it through. What do you want? What will make you happy? How can you be independent and happy? What would do it? This is where friends and family come in. Don't be afraid to accept help from your support group. But whatever you do, figure out your plan, short term, and long term. Also, look at all contingencies. If you separate, will he want you to have custody, or will he fight for custody? Will he pay child support? What do you need to do to be prepared if you would need to go to court? What does the court require to award custody? Start writing all of these things down. Also, start keeping a record of your experiences with him (you may need it in the future). Start answering these questions for yourself. And the more you devote to preparing yourself for this, the less time you'll have to eat like crazy. In other words, for the time, you can use this work as a surrogate for your inclination to over eat and be in that dark place.
I'm very sorry. Be at peace with yourself. You were not the unfaithful one, you didn't break the marriage contract, and you can feel good about that.0 -
I am so sorry that this happened to you, I have been through a similar situation, not that my issue will make your better, but please hang in there, it will get better. Don't think that because he left the marriage that there was or is anything wrong with you. It's his issue not yours. Just be a strong mom to your boy.....start focusing on the 2 of you and your lives together HEALTHY. And remind yourself that you deserve the best.
Hang in there baby...............you're gonna be just fine :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm so sorry to hear. Men can be pigs. Focus on baby. You are not alone. You never will be alone again. That baby needs you.
Take a breath....inhale...exhale...repeat as needed!
Food is not happiness even if it is a soft place to fall right now.
Take a breath....inhale...exhale...repeat as needed!
It will be o.k.
My hugs to you! Please take of yourself! You deserve it and so does your child!0 -
Don't feel like you are alone. I caught my husband in bed with my best friend two months ago. He decided he was going to have an afair right before he deployed. Needless to say we will not be working it out. Just like you I had been doing emotional eating and put on another 20lbs. Finally, I decided that it was not doing me any good and I was going to do something for myself. Now I work out daily and eat healthier. Doing this just for me has made me feel a lot better. Hang in there I promise things will get better.0
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I need motivation and support. I feel SOOO alone. I've got my 8 month old to take care of and i've got no job and i'm just sooo stressed!!!
I had a dream about this last night, but I was slim and sexy
So sorry for your pain. Try to turn it into something positive. He is gone, you need to show him how intelligent and energetic and healthy you really are. Make him rue the day he acted like such a dog.
YOU are worth every moment, every second you put into a healthier life. Not just for you, but for the life your baby WILL lead either way.
Imagine your life for the next 5 years if you continue the way you are now. Picture the food, you child eating take out burgers and fries and turning into a statistic.
Now picture yourself cooking good food. The only thing your baby knows is grilled veggies and baked chicken. He/she asks to go outside and play.....ride the bikes or go for a walk with Mommy, because that is what YOU chose right this very minute.
Hugs to you sweety. I am angry with my DH this morning and it was only a dream, cannot imagine real life experience.
:flowerforyou: Jeannie0 -
I wish I could give you a hug. Believe me it will be ok I promise you. I was 5 months pregnant and my soon to be husband called me at work to tell me he met a lady at the bar and he was leaving me for her and don't worry the baby will be taken care of. Well at 8 months and not hearing from him in since that last call I receive a letter from family court that he was sueing me for full custody of the unborn baby. That once I had the baby he wanted to leave the hospital with the baby. Then he lost in court but when I went into labor my neighbor called him and he and his girlfriend showed up at the hospital it was just crazy.
That man had me going through it. But let me tell you my son is now 5 years old and I have full custody and I am great. I am now married to the best man in the world. And I could only have found him because the butt hole moved out of my life.
I don't know if you are a religious person but I am a strong believer god wont put nothing on your plate that you cant handle.0 -
Thinking about you today. You'll get thru this.
Don't let him throw you off your game. Not worth it...0 -
We are here for you sweetheart. With hugs and virtual shoulders to lean on.0
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How are you!? You haven't reposted! I hope everything is working out and you took control back over ur body/eating/excercise! You can do this for you!!0
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I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. (((HUGS))) Good for you for standing up for yourself and kicking your husband out. NO ONE deserves to be cheated on, NO ONE. It's going to be hard, but you only have two options: lie on the floor or get back up. Find a positive way to deal with your emotions so you can set an example for your little one.0
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I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this. (((HUGS))) Good for you for standing up for yourself and kicking your husband out. NO ONE deserves to be cheated on, NO ONE. It's going to be hard, but you only have two options: lie on the floor or get back up. Find a positive way to deal with your emotions so you can set an example for your little one.0
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Don't let the decisions of others rule your rule!....You embarked on this journey for yourself a your child & you shouldn't let his actions stop you from reaching your goal. Seek support here & from your friends & family & you'll make it.
My best friend broke up with her boyfriend when their son was 2 days old. The absolute best decision of her life b/c he was an *kitten*. Ronin will be 2 in November & does not know his father b/c the jerk isn't willing to take public transportation the 30 miles to see him. But she has a great family, great friends, & he has plenty of great father-figures in his life. She has survived the supervisor from hell, being laid off, & numerous other financial issues but focuses on Ronin b/c he is her #1 priority. If she can do it, so can you.
And, when I'm stressed I find that a good workout relieves my stress & desire to eat emotionally....So when your upset a ready to grab the nearest thing to eat, take your little one for a walk or spent time playing with her0 -
What helped me with my emotional eating was when everything in my life was crazy and out-of-control, the one thing that I could control was what I ate. I hope this helps. Also, your baby needs a strong healthy momma. Take Care!0
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You can get through this. You can do it for yourself, and you can do it for your little one. Instead of stress-eating, try stress-walking.... put your little one in the stroller, and walk til you're not so upset/angry/hurt/betrayed/fill-in-the-blank.... your little one will enjoy the stroller time and the views, and you'll be doing something productive.
Start planning on your walks - you have the whole world open to you, with the exception of any options you don't want to take.... decide whether you want to move "home", move in with a friend, get a job, who can help with your little one, decide one thing at a time, and you will get through this.
The above is fantastic advice. I can't do any better.
The only thing I can say is that I'm a single Mom. Have been since my daughter was 18 months old. I was a mess - but we made it. And she's a wonder - now 13.
One day at a time. And dare to believe in yourself.
My best wishes and prayers are with you.0
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