A lightbulb went on yesterday

MissJay75
MissJay75 Posts: 768 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been having a really hard week focusing this week. I mean really hard. I've been tired, lazy, apathetic, and unmotivated. I went to bed early one night and slept for 12 hours.

The thing I've been struggling with this week is grief over my friend who died a year ago today. I didn't really connect the dots until yesterday that this is why I've been so 'blah' this week about my diet & exercise. And I've been keeping it all to myself, because I don't want to burden anyone. (how stupid is that?). So this is me, with my public confession that I miss my friend terribly, and this week I am not OK. I want to run away and hide from the pain. I want to open up a bag of chips, turn on the TV and turn off my brain.

I'm not going to eat the pain away (I know it doesn't work anyway) but I am seeking comfort in God, and some of the wonderful things He created for us to enjoy. Thanks for letting me unbottle all that.

Replies

  • chrissiepooh
    chrissiepooh Posts: 45 Member
    missjay, you are SUCH an inspiration!!!!!!!!! Do you know how many times I've been right in that spot and CAVED into the temptations? I applaud your strength and I am very sorry for your loss. But just know that maybe your friend is inspiring you to stay motivated and giving you the will power to not eat those chips :)

    You are truly amazing :)
  • thomassd1969
    thomassd1969 Posts: 564 Member
    I must tell you about my "missing heart" also. My ex husband (childrens father) dies in 08 of cancer at 48. We were best friends, the kind of relationship that no matter what I could count on him for anything and he could read me like a book. It was a huge loss when he passed. On most days/weeks I am fine. I have moved on and have a great fiancee'. There are days though when I just want to scream out because I miss him. Here is what I do. I run a hot bath, turn on the radio and talk to him. May sound crazy but it works. Makes me feel so much better and it usually answers whatever turmoil I have going on. Give it a try. Hang in there. Prayers :)
  • ourmamros
    ourmamros Posts: 21 Member
    Missjay, I am so sorry for your loss. It is okay to feel the way you do but you are amazing in trying to deal with it all without giving in to the comfort eating. I am sure your friend would be proud of you.
  • MissJay75
    MissJay75 Posts: 768 Member
    I must tell you about my "missing heart" also. My ex husband (childrens father) dies in 08 of cancer at 48. We were best friends, the kind of relationship that no matter what I could count on him for anything and he could read me like a book. It was a huge loss when he passed. On most days/weeks I am fine. I have moved on and have a great fiancee'. There are days though when I just want to scream out because I miss him. Here is what I do. I run a hot bath, turn on the radio and talk to him. May sound crazy but it works. Makes me feel so much better and it usually answers whatever turmoil I have going on. Give it a try. Hang in there. Prayers :)

    Thank you for sharing. I can't imagine the strength of picking up and moving forward after losing your husband.

    I had an amazing friend take my kids for the morning. I came home, did my workout, and ran a nice hot bath. I soaked until the water ran cold. :) Then I poured myself coffee in a real cup (I usually drink from a travel mug because it takes me 4 hours to finish when I am home being 'mom'.) and sat down and read a book with no interruptions for a whole hour. It was glorious. :)

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