What would you do?

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UsedToBeHusky
UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
in Chit-Chat
So my very generous cousin who has no children of her own took my daughters to a resort in Tennessee for spring break. She also took her brother and his kids as well as another cousin of hers and her kids. It would seem that the cousin of my cousin's 7-yo son (not related, different sides of the family) could not keep his hands off my 12-yo daughter's behind. Despite my daughter telling his mother, she did not correct him and told my daughter that she should just put up with it. Eventually, my cousin said something to her and to my understanding he was spanked but the behavior continued. What should I do?

Should I speak to my cousin about it? Talk to the boy's mother? Or should I just let it go?

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  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
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    It's inappropriate, and your daughter should NOT just have to deal with it. I would speak to your cousin, and if nothing's going to be done about it, explain that your children can no longer be around them.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    That is tough. Talk to your daughter and really see how she feels about it and see what she wants you to do. At 12 I know it would have meant a lot for my parents to be interested in my opinion on situations.
  • TheMissingSock
    TheMissingSock Posts: 89
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    It's inappropriate, and your daughter should NOT just have to deal with it. I would speak to your cousin, and if nothing's going to be done about it, explain that your children can no longer be around them.

    THIS

    unwelcome touching is NEVER OKAY. If your daughter has to "put up with it" it's setting her up to be a victim when she gets older. I agree that you need to sever ties with this portion of your family if it continues.
  • lindalou4850
    lindalou4850 Posts: 217 Member
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    I would definately talk to the boys mother. if nothing is done and it continues, then I would not allow her to be around this boy (I wouldn't care how old he is ) and if your cousin does not understand than to bad.Good luck!!
  • oberon0124
    oberon0124 Posts: 10,527 Member
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    I would speak to your cousin. If corrective measure's are not taken then I would not allow your daughter or children arong him any longrer. He is of the age that he knows grabbing the bottoms of girls is not to be done! If he does not stop soon I see major problems with him in the future!
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Let your daughter know how furious this makes you and let her see that you have her back and will do something about it. The same thing happened to my 4 year old.. an older boy (7) was trying to get her to lift her shirt up and she came and told me. I am not one to discipline other peoples children but I let him know that if it ever happened again he is going to deal with me and I may not be as nice as his mother. I think my daughter took comfort hearing me say it because she knew she was not wrong in feeling "icky" about it as she said.
  • jsp2374
    jsp2374 Posts: 131 Member
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    Definitely speak to your cousin and the mother. In no way should a 12 year old ever be told to just put up with it. I would also sit your daughter down and have a talk with her. Let her know that it was not okay of the boy or his mother. It is never okay for anyone to be told to put up with unwanted attention or touching. That's just not okay. If your cousin doesn't see your side to this, then I would tell her she can't be alone with your children. I think it is vitally important for the people we entrust with our children to uphold our wants and desires for our children.

    If it had been me I would have told the other family to leave immediately. That just isn't okay in any way shape or form.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    Definitely talk to the mother. There is no reason any child (or any ONE) should be touched in any manner they do not approve of, or do not like. ESPECIALLY someone they don't know, and especially when they've already told them to effing stop.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Well, I would talk to the parent of the 7 year old, but I would also keep in mind that he's only 7. What he did wasn't appropriate, but at that age, I don't think it's a sexual thing as much as the fact that the first time he did it, he got a reaction and so he did it again and again. That's very typical for that age.
  • TrainingWithTonya
    TrainingWithTonya Posts: 1,741 Member
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    Talk to the mother, teach your daughter to punch A-holes like that in the face, and if it doesn't stop ASAP file charges. That is sexual assault. It is a crime punishable by time in jail or, in this case, juvenile detention. I know this because the punk who touched my daughter inappropriately on the bus spent a year there. That and I grew up in a family of law enforcement officers from my grandpa, cousins, and husband who have all worked for local law enforcement offices and an uncle who recently retired from the DEA. Most importantly, though, talk to your daughter and be there for her to help her cope with the situation and teach her to be a strong woman who won't tolerate this stuff in the future.
  • samf36
    samf36 Posts: 369 Member
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    I have told my daughter that no one no matter what age has the right to touch her in a way that makes her uncomfortable and then tell her to yell at the person keep your hands off my ( what ever word you choose) and then a swifty placed slap, punch, knee to the groin. The mother would be told that she needs to teach her son to respect others and keep his hands to himself.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I am going to talk to my cousin and let her know that my kids won't be going on trips with that little boy and his mother anymore. To talk to the mother, I will have to ask my cousin for her number. I've known since we were kids and I have never cared for her so I don't exactly know how to contact but I'm not going to let this go. I plan to inform her that his behavior was inappropriate and that her reaction was even more inappropriate. I'm going to try my best to be a civil adult in this, but believe me when I say that I would not mind in the least putting my fist through her teeth!
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    Give the kid like 10 high-fives and buy him a shot of whiskey at the corner bar.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Give the kid like 10 high-fives and buy him a shot of whiskey at the corner bar.

    Go away, troll!
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    Give the kid like 10 high-fives and buy him a shot of whiskey at the corner bar.

    How nice of you to take a young girls safety and comfort seriously. Douche canoe.
  • debydeb57
    debydeb57 Posts: 53
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    its very inappropriate.....i would have a long talk with his mother and him together..he may be 7 but he is still old enough to know better
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    its very inappropriate.....i would have a long talk with his mother and him together..he may be 7 but he is still old enough to know better

    Honestly, deb, I really have no idea where they live how far away. We see them cousin's house only a couple of times a year.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Well my cousin apologized for it. She wasn't real happy when I told her that my kids won't be going on trips with this boy and his mother in the future. And she gave me her number but they are still in Tennessee, on my cousin's dime I might add, so I will have to wait until Monday.

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