This is IT

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MyKids04
MyKids04 Posts: 178 Member
in Motivation and Support
People can be so rude.

Sept 10 2005 at a work event I met my husband. I was attracted to him right away but just coming out of a relationship I wanted to be man free for awhile. Well 2 weeks later he calls my office and invited me to lunch.

Funny because I never gave him my number he went through hundreds of business cards until he found me. So to me it was so cute I accepted his offer.

Fast forward. We have now been married for 2 1/2 years we immediately had two kids after we were married and yes it has done wonders to my figure.

The other day I had went to our block meeting to discuss things like pooper scooper laws and things related to the block. Well after the meeting the only neighbor I know by name walks me to my house and we sit out front talking well the bugs were eating us alive so I invited her in for coffee she comes in and on my fire place is a picture that I took the day I meet my husband.

She looks at me and said is this you. Yes its me, she said how long ago was that taken. I told her next month will be 4 years.

My hand to everything I wake up for this woman said OMG you were so pretty and what happened you are so fat now. I wanted to die.

I just grabbed the photo out of her hand, put it back on my fireplace went to the kitchen without a word and my 9 month old has disposable sippy cup so I poured coffee in the cup handed the cup to her and said sorry about the to go cup but being so fat I get tired easily. And I held the door open for her.

She actually had a look on her face like no she didn't.

I am not making excusses for myself because I know what I have to do and I know where my problem is but I would never say that to any one I don't care if you 10,000 lbs. She had to know that would hurt my feelings.

And its bad enough when it comes from someone you know. I just recently met this lady and this was the very first time she has been in my house so she was not even a close friend.

I did not tell my husband because he always says you are so beautiful you worry to much what other people think. So I am sorry so long but I had to vent.

Replies

  • Shanta1983
    Shanta1983 Posts: 1,228 Member
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    To me in my opinion you sort of over-reacted I mean it is what it is I knew 42lbs ago I was huge and people over the years say wow Shanta you gained weight...She was a little to honest,But I wouldnt have put nobody out over that..Thats silly but hey you did you:flowerforyou:

    Oh and by the way those same people sayin oh my yo u have lost alot of weight:happy: people are going to talk reguardless as long as it be a world you know..you have to take what you want out of it
  • proctor0828
    proctor0828 Posts: 179
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    OMG what a horrible thing to say to someone even if it were someone you knew from birth. Wow... I'm sorry for that,
  • Laila21
    Laila21 Posts: 12
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    I think the way you handled that was just fine. It is one thing for someone to make a comment about weight loss/gain, but that was just rude. to hell with her.
  • Casi23
    Casi23 Posts: 138 Member
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    Wow. This woman comes into YOUR house, picks up YOUR photograph and just insulted you like that?!?! Out of nowhere! You didn't ask her for her opinion. She is not your doctor, and she doesn't know you.

    I think you reacted very calmly and very maturely. I would have reacted much more aggressively. Who does she think she is!?! You were right in this situation and you handled it very well.

    Don't let it fuel your anger and spite towards her, but let it motivate you to work harder. Take a picture of yourself now and put that on the mantle. Then work your *kitten* off and have a party, invite all of your nieghbors when you are in the shape YOU want to be. Then see what they say when they pick up that photo of you.

    You know how the gossip train goes. I'm sure this story will be making it's way through your block and your circle of aquaintances. Give them something to talk about. You sound like an awesome Mama, a fantastic wife and a great person.

    Let her inexcusable, immature, tactless comments motivate you to do something good.
  • blondeheat
    blondeheat Posts: 254 Member
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    That's horrible. Do not let her bring you down. Your response was great. Another came to me (and it is rude too :wink: ), "Did you used to be pretty on the inside?"
  • janeneo
    janeneo Posts: 7 Member
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    I've never posted before but this got me to do it! That woman needed to be put in her place, and I think you did it brilliantly! She had the common sense of a two year old, so she should drink out of a two year old's cup!

    My eyes watered when I read that, and I just wanted to say your husband is right! Caring what other people think about you is a waste of time, especially people like that woman!

    What matters is how you see yourself, what kind of person you are, and how you treat others. (other than THAT lady!) Ha I'm glad you stood up for yourself, and you should be proud that you have enough self-respect than to take that kind of behavior anywhere, let alone your own home.

    I hope she thinks twice about making that kind of comment again. You may have saved another of her "victims" from having to feel the way she made you feel.

    Good luck on all yur goals! Remember, you can work on being healthy, but she will probably always be a jerk! hahaha
  • dbg1
    dbg1 Posts: 208
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    reality sucks but take it as constructive criticism. Use it to motivate yourself. Plan to invite her in again when you reach your goal. It will be very satisfying on so many levels
  • LisaC1026
    LisaC1026 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    Wow...what nerve. As an adult, she should know right from wrong. Plain and simply, you do NOT make a comment like that to someone, even if it is what you are thinking! I think you are a very strong woman for taking a stand and sending her on her way. I don't think I could have done that, but I honestly do not know because I haven't been put in that situation....yet. I don't always stand up for myself like I should....so I am really proud of you.

    It's a notorius rule of thumb not to even ASK a woman what she weighs, so to be so cruel as to call you fat is COMPLETELY inappropriate. I'm still floored that a grown woman would say that.

    *Hugs* Use her comment to fuel your commitment to your weightloss.
  • July24Lioness
    July24Lioness Posts: 2,399 Member
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    If your pic you have on this site as your avi is you now, you are a beautiful woman now!!!

    Don't let anyone make you feel differently.

    Your hubby is right and you are lucky to have him by your side.
  • MyKids04
    MyKids04 Posts: 178 Member
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    If your pic you have on this site as your avi is you now, you are a beautiful woman now!!!

    Don't let anyone make you feel differently.

    Your hubby is right and you are lucky to have him by your side.

    Yes and thank you this pic was taken June 2009.
  • Shanta1983
    Shanta1983 Posts: 1,228 Member
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    reality sucks but take it as constructive criticism. Use it to motivate yourself. Plan to invite her in again when you reach your goal. It will be very satisfying on so many levels

    My point exactly wether you loose wight or gain people are going to talk I learn to stop wearing my feelings on my sleeves along time ago this is a tough world we living in ya know I meant no harm intended I was just stating facts
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    Honestly, the "oh my god, you used to look so good" comments are the worst, because we know we can NEVER look like that again...it's just not humanly possible to ever look like we did 4, 5, 10 years ago. The good thing is, it IS possible to actually look better than you ever did.
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
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    OMG, that is just sooo rude.

    Something like that happened to me a few years ago (I weighed less than I do now)

    We were having a co-worker reunion, and the first thing one woman said to me was "Wow, you gained so much weight"

    I was mortified!!!

    After that woman left, I mentioned it to the others, and they were all in agreement how rude it was!!!

    People like that just need to put others down in order for them to feel better about their crappy miserable lives! don't let it get you down!
  • frogtoestoo
    frogtoestoo Posts: 66
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    YOU ARE AWESOME! :flowerforyou: What a great way to handle that! I like the comment above about "Have you always been ugly on the inside?" Sounds like you have a great guy by your side, trust his opinion. :smile: I'm sure her comment hurt, but you handled it with CLASS! That's something she WILL NEVER HAVE! Good luck on your journey. Two babies and a husband in such a short time can be hard on your body. Congrats on what you HAVE accomplished. Obviously, your husband is right, you are beautiful just the way you are!

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  • MyKids04
    MyKids04 Posts: 178 Member
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    reality sucks but take it as constructive criticism. Use it to motivate yourself. Plan to invite her in again when you reach your goal. It will be very satisfying on so many levels

    My point exactly wether you loose wight or gain people are going to talk I learn to stop wearing my feelings on my sleeves along time ago this is a tough world we living in ya know I meant no harm intended I was just stating facts

    none taken. I can take it as well as I can give it, I was just so suprised someone I did not really know like that would say something like that in my house

    because I hear it all.
    my mom tells me my *kitten* can cover the hole in the grand canon
    my step daughter who 20 years old told me when is my young step mommy going to get her sexy back and she calls me that because she is 12 years younger than me.
    but I am cool with comments that just through me off but I am back and thanks to everyone for their support

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