Men - how important are looks?

there is no such thing as a difference between grown up men and boys. knowing their responses in my slim times and fat times it doesnt matter much how you look when it comes to hitting on you for a ONS - if it comes to relationships it starts to matter a lot - seems most of them dont dare to show up with a girl they dont get a thumbs up for her look from their peers.

BUT the good news is - not all of them are like that - there is genuine love too.

Men really aren't that hard to figure out. If he's with you (assuming he's not a total d!ck) he finds you attractive. And you are pretty

He finds you attractive,don`t make yourself unattractive or undesirable by being permanently in paranoid panic mode.
You will uselessly over think yourself into just what you fear.

I guess, for me at least, it depends on what you're asking for. I mean, yes, an attractive woman catches my eye, but there have been plenty of people in my life that I don't consider "pretty" that I feel are good people that I would have, under different circumstances, be open to being romantic with.

I would amend the "beauty is only skin deep" statement, saying rather "physical beauty is only skin deep but total beauty comes from within as well.".

Looks are important to me, but moreso, how well someone looks after themself is important too - meaning being clean and presentable, healthy and happy. The attraction sparks from how somebody looks in most cases, but the personality of someone determines whether or not you can see yourself spending years with this person. My girlfriend is just awesome in every way, and that's what makes her desirable to me - her being hot is just a bonus.

Looks are somewhat important, at least for the initial interest and meeting. However, any real relationship is much more than looks, it is the person inside the body that makes a relationship. Personality, including honesty, trustworthiness, commitment, and dedication make the relationship. BTW, you are beautiful and have nothing to worry about!

Looks are extremely important to PEOPLE of either gender. It's not a man only trend to judge women by their appearance, women do the same thing to men. That's why many of us are on here in the first place.

Relationships are often formed in the crotch. If the world were blind, we'd base our relationships off of other things, but until that happens, looks are often what form the beginning of the relationship, and that fire that you either can or cannot incite in the nether region separates you from "just friends".

This is not a blanket "all people are like this" statement, just that it seems to be what the majority follow and is why diet sites etc are so popular. If being fat and out of shape didn't inhibit one's ability to find a partner, I am betting getting in shape wouldn't be as big of a deal.

I think men are more picky than women. My friends are mostly all male and the way they nit pick at every little imperfection on a woman's body is ridiculous. They find **** that isn't noticeable and will blow it right out of porportion. Woman on the other hand don't seem to care aslong as said male has lots of cash or know where to touch her in the right places.

Nice way to equally offend both men and women with cookie cutter stereotypes.
If that is true for you then I would suggest you seek out friends that are a lot less shallow.:flowerforyou:

I know a lot of "beautiful" people who are down right "ugly" and I know some "so so" ones that are down right "out of this world smokin' hot, gorgeous and sexy"! The world "sees" you for who you really are~ so put on a happy face!

I think this is soooooooo true!

I know several people - who I'm quite in awe of - who aren't traditionally attractive, but they are the most amazing, witty, charming and endearing characters and after meeting them, you instinctively see them as beautiful people!

Alternately, someone can be the most stunningly photogenic person with extremely attractive traits in a traditional sense but in person they are arrogant, self absorbed and high maintenance... It doesn't take long for you to perceive them as plain ugly!!

This question can not be answered. If he his Hugh Hefner then looks probably matter a lot. If, however, he is Billy Graham, he understands beauty fades and inner beauty is the real prize. Thus, what you need to ask yourself is what does my boy friend value? Then ask yourself if you are willing to live with that value system for the rest of your life. My wife is beautiful but she is not on the front covers of magazines yet I'd rather be married to her than 10 of the women on the front cover of magazines. Her inner beauty constantly amazes me. We've been married 13 years now and I have not met one person prior to or since then that I would have rather married. Is that because she is the physically most beautiful woman I've ever seen? No. Is it because her love for me and all people motivate her to be an amazing person beyond belief? Yes. Is she ugly? By no means. Will she be physically ugly when she is 80 and in a wheel chair? I have not seen many 80 year old wheel chair bound women on the front covers of fashion magazine. What about in 5 years when she may be in an auto accident and crippled from the waist down? You never know what life may bring.

My advice to you is answer the question... what does your boy friend value? If that value is too much slanted towards looks, find another. Living life with a mate that you have to continually blow away and compete with the latest 20 year old on magazine covers is no life to live.

Men are visual creatures, so initially her looks will catch his attention. But if he is a good man and loves you, nothing more should come of it. Remain confident in yourself, because that's sexy!

He often compliments my looks or legs (lol) but mostly he talks about me being kind, generous, and caring, and that he has found happiness since we have been together (which is only two months so far)

The real question you seem to be asking is, "Why am I insecure in my relationship?" Only you can answer that question. I suggest that you examine the reasons why you fear being abandoned or rejected.

You would probably admit that your fear is somewhat irrational. After all, you just said that your boyfriend has "found happiness" since you've been together, and that he considers you to be "kind, generous, and caring."

To me, those sorts of feelings sound like a great foundation for a good, solid relationship. Why are you questioning it? Why do you feel that you're somehow not "good enough" for him? That's the real issue.

It funny that I spent A LOT of time worrying what I looked like....this year i turned 40 and i decided i dont give a *kitten* what anyone else thinks...if u dont like it dont look!

I'f I'd put it from 0 to 10, I'd say 7. Looks show a lot. They show how a person maintains herself and self-respect. They radiate a positive energy toward the life. Most of the time a healthy mind is linked closely with a healthy look. I am also a believer of the saying "You are what you eat" and obviously, I wouldn't like having a partner full of unhealthy habits. The other 3 out of 10 is very crucial too. A fit person and beautiful without brains is = unhealthy and ugly either way.
And finally, everyone can and is able to look beautiful, no matter their genetics. Their health is in their own hand, and everyone has their unique beauty hidden waiting to show off.

I think they are important from a point of view of procreation. If a female looks fit and beautiful, then chances are (if you as a male aren't butt ugly) your offspring will be too ensuring higher chances of your genes being carried on down through the generations. That's from an evolutionary prospective.

But today it seems money, wealth and fame are much more important for this to happen now.

A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition