Men - how important are looks?

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  • SiouxsieQue
    SiouxsieQue Posts: 85 Member
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    Men are visual creatures, so initially her looks will catch his attention. But if he is a good man and loves you, nothing more should come of it. Remain confident in yourself, because that's sexy!
  • emmab0902
    emmab0902 Posts: 2,337 Member
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    My advice to you is answer the question... what does your boy friend value?
    He often compliments my looks or legs (lol) but mostly he talks about me being kind, generous, and caring, and that he has found happiness since we have been together (which is only two months so far)
  • Musikelektronik
    Musikelektronik Posts: 739 Member
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    He often compliments my looks or legs (lol) but mostly he talks about me being kind, generous, and caring, and that he has found happiness since we have been together (which is only two months so far)

    The real question you seem to be asking is, "Why am I insecure in my relationship?" Only you can answer that question. I suggest that you examine the reasons why you fear being abandoned or rejected.

    You would probably admit that your fear is somewhat irrational. After all, you just said that your boyfriend has "found happiness" since you've been together, and that he considers you to be "kind, generous, and caring."

    To me, those sorts of feelings sound like a great foundation for a good, solid relationship. Why are you questioning it? Why do you feel that you're somehow not "good enough" for him? That's the real issue.
  • refractor82
    refractor82 Posts: 3
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    I'll attempt to address the question behind the question. Forgive me if this has been stated already. I don't have time to read the entire thread and I apologize in advance for the block of text.

    2 months is not long for any relationship. I guarantee you, you'll have insecurities and so will he. The best way to work past those insecurities is to effectively communicate with each other. This means sit down together and discuss all your insecurities. Insecurities come from unhealed past hurts. Once everything is out in the open, it's important for each of you to respect each other's insecurities. This means if there's a certain way one of you acts that aggravates a past hurt of the other, the behavior should be adjusted so as to not aggravate that hurt. Mutual respect and tenderness toward each other is key in this stage of a relationship. With time, you'll become secure in each other.

    My disclaimer is this: only do this if both of you are serious about this relationship. Maybe a precursor to a conversation like this is a conversation about your future together and where each of you see it going. DON'T make yourself vulnerable unless you truly love each other. By love, I mean a mutual self-sacrificing attitude toward the other.

    I speak from my own experience.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    It funny that I spent A LOT of time worrying what I looked like....this year i turned 40 and i decided i dont give a *kitten* what anyone else thinks...if u dont like it dont look!
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
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    Looks certainly play a role, but to me the thing that makes things last is the personality. If I can't get along with them or they're just too different from me and can't seem to be happy around them then things just can't work.
  • TitanGM
    TitanGM Posts: 1,161 Member
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    I'f I'd put it from 0 to 10, I'd say 7. Looks show a lot. They show how a person maintains herself and self-respect. They radiate a positive energy toward the life. Most of the time a healthy mind is linked closely with a healthy look. I am also a believer of the saying "You are what you eat" and obviously, I wouldn't like having a partner full of unhealthy habits. The other 3 out of 10 is very crucial too. A fit person and beautiful without brains is = unhealthy and ugly either way.
    And finally, everyone can and is able to look beautiful, no matter their genetics. Their health is in their own hand, and everyone has their unique beauty hidden waiting to show off.
  • ChelleDT
    ChelleDT Posts: 23
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    I've heard it explained that when we start getting attracted to other people based on their personality traits over their physcial traits... that that is a sign of maturity.

    I've found that while looks are usually a factor in first impressions,,... if their personality sucks/ or doesn't jive with yours, they aren't going to stay attracted to you. & Visa versa.

    I've also noticed that as the years go on... I tend not to judge someone on looks alone... Unless I'm being in a petty small minded mood.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    I think they are important from a point of view of procreation. If a female looks fit and beautiful, then chances are (if you as a male aren't butt ugly) your offspring will be too ensuring higher chances of your genes being carried on down through the generations. That's from an evolutionary prospective.

    But today it seems money, wealth and fame are much more important for this to happen now.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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  • Masterchef2000
    Masterchef2000 Posts: 127 Member
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    Humor is the sexiest thing to me. Make me laugh and I will try and get in your pants. That's how I got married. :-)
  • RoboLikes
    RoboLikes Posts: 519 Member
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    He finds you attractive,don`t make yourself unattractive or undesirable by being permanently in paranoid panic mode.
    You will uselessly over think yourself into just what you fear.

    Exactly
  • ConcordPhil
    ConcordPhil Posts: 118 Member
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    I think men are more picky than women. My friends are mostly all male and the way they nit pick at every little imperfection on a woman's body is ridiculous. They find **** that isn't noticeable and will blow it right out of porportion. Woman on the other hand don't seem to care aslong as said male has lots of cash or know where to touch her in the right places.

    Nice way to equally offend both men and women with cookie cutter stereotypes.
    If that is true for you then I would suggest you seek out friends that are a lot less shallow.:flowerforyou:
    Most of my friends are the polar opposite of what you're implying all men to be. It comes down to what kinds of people you assosciate with.

    Carl (the one above me, not me >.>) is right.

    I agree with the Carls... like attracts like.

    Personally I am looking for 'healthy'... emotionally, spiritually and physically. The best would be "on the way to healthy" because that implies a bit of humility and the possibility of sharing a really neat journey of discovery.

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