I'm a failure
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Beffster
Posts: 14
and I don't know what to do about it, I don't even know why I am posting here- just need to outpour where people don't know me (and now I am singing the theme tune to 'Cheers' to myself <lol>), and and don't feel the need to tell me that I am fine as I am.
So today, realise I have been logging the wrong weight- a confusion with converting stones to lbs- I am pants at maths, but I am sick of being pants at everything, especially at losing weight.
If you were to look at my diary, you'd all be thinking I am a loopster as my food is so restricted and never the healthiest. I cannot eat the majority of fruit and veg- and the few types I can eat, can only be eaten in very small quantities. I cannot have fibre (again only small amounts tolerated) Nuts have to be avoided, and red meats and pork cause me issues, as does shell fish and eggs. There are other foods too that I can't eat, but my mind has gone blank.
My daily calorie goal is 1310. Most week days I can stay within, but always go over by a few hundred on Fridays and Saturdays (usually as I have a couple of glasses of wine). I am Mum of 2 children, and 4 days a week am on my feet constantly, but there can be weeks when I am too ill to move much.
I have lost 6lb in about 6 weeks, last week I put weight back on, but wasn't surprised as the previous couple of weeks I had been recovering from surgery as well as making bad choices. I have lost it this week, and so am back to where I was the week before.
I was/ am so overweight due to having a child 11 months ago- I had a DVT after having him, and so for 6 months, my mobilty was seriousy impaired. I had also developed bad habits- feeding the children, I would grab a mouthful here and there, finish their meals, as well as eating too much chocolate (still my biggest weakness) and just eating what I wanted when, I wanted .
So I have lost some weight, and although it's not a lot, I do feel a bit better about myself, but I am not where I want to be, and I don't know how to get there.
I keep finding obstacles in my way, parties, events, surgery- but I am responsible for what I eat, so know I can't really blame anything else for who I am or what I do.
I have changed how I eat, and even on 'bad' days I am never as bad as I was everyday before I started on MFP.
I just can't see a way to progress, I wish I could eat bowls of salad, fruit and vegetables- I would be so happy, as I do love them, but they hate me, and would cause me serious health complications. I wish I could go running, or go to the gym, but I only have so much energy, and that has to be spent on my children (and also keeping our house nice, I do enjoy housework, and hope this helps a little as it can be physically exhausting). I am also on super high amounts of medication, including morphine, IV anti sickness meds, other pain killers, and heaps more- so these can leave me a bit drained come the evenings when my husband takes over with the children, so no chance of doing excercise then, as that's when everything else takes over- (I know that makes no sense, but I am pretty sure non of this does <lol>)
So I am a failure, I can't add up properly and so log my weight wrong, I can't eat healthy food, I can't excercise, I can't get back the figure I once had, as I can't see me losing the weight I need to. I think all of that amounts to me being a failure, and I am feeling mighty fed up.
Sorry- I don't expect responses as there is nothing to say, but thank you for letting me moan on here. My husband is amazing, and when I tell him all of this, he just tells me he love me as I am, and he doesn't think I am overweight- which is lovely of him, but I am not happy as I am, and I don't know what to do about it.
Sorry and thank you again.
So today, realise I have been logging the wrong weight- a confusion with converting stones to lbs- I am pants at maths, but I am sick of being pants at everything, especially at losing weight.
If you were to look at my diary, you'd all be thinking I am a loopster as my food is so restricted and never the healthiest. I cannot eat the majority of fruit and veg- and the few types I can eat, can only be eaten in very small quantities. I cannot have fibre (again only small amounts tolerated) Nuts have to be avoided, and red meats and pork cause me issues, as does shell fish and eggs. There are other foods too that I can't eat, but my mind has gone blank.
My daily calorie goal is 1310. Most week days I can stay within, but always go over by a few hundred on Fridays and Saturdays (usually as I have a couple of glasses of wine). I am Mum of 2 children, and 4 days a week am on my feet constantly, but there can be weeks when I am too ill to move much.
I have lost 6lb in about 6 weeks, last week I put weight back on, but wasn't surprised as the previous couple of weeks I had been recovering from surgery as well as making bad choices. I have lost it this week, and so am back to where I was the week before.
I was/ am so overweight due to having a child 11 months ago- I had a DVT after having him, and so for 6 months, my mobilty was seriousy impaired. I had also developed bad habits- feeding the children, I would grab a mouthful here and there, finish their meals, as well as eating too much chocolate (still my biggest weakness) and just eating what I wanted when, I wanted .
So I have lost some weight, and although it's not a lot, I do feel a bit better about myself, but I am not where I want to be, and I don't know how to get there.
I keep finding obstacles in my way, parties, events, surgery- but I am responsible for what I eat, so know I can't really blame anything else for who I am or what I do.
I have changed how I eat, and even on 'bad' days I am never as bad as I was everyday before I started on MFP.
I just can't see a way to progress, I wish I could eat bowls of salad, fruit and vegetables- I would be so happy, as I do love them, but they hate me, and would cause me serious health complications. I wish I could go running, or go to the gym, but I only have so much energy, and that has to be spent on my children (and also keeping our house nice, I do enjoy housework, and hope this helps a little as it can be physically exhausting). I am also on super high amounts of medication, including morphine, IV anti sickness meds, other pain killers, and heaps more- so these can leave me a bit drained come the evenings when my husband takes over with the children, so no chance of doing excercise then, as that's when everything else takes over- (I know that makes no sense, but I am pretty sure non of this does <lol>)
So I am a failure, I can't add up properly and so log my weight wrong, I can't eat healthy food, I can't excercise, I can't get back the figure I once had, as I can't see me losing the weight I need to. I think all of that amounts to me being a failure, and I am feeling mighty fed up.
Sorry- I don't expect responses as there is nothing to say, but thank you for letting me moan on here. My husband is amazing, and when I tell him all of this, he just tells me he love me as I am, and he doesn't think I am overweight- which is lovely of him, but I am not happy as I am, and I don't know what to do about it.
Sorry and thank you again.
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Replies
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You're NOT a failure. You have a husband. You have a child/ren. You have a lovely home. You have a life albeit not the one you want but you are alive. You are NOT a failure (((hugs)))0
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No your not it could be worst and the rain will pass just smile ; ))0
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Ok, so now that's out of your system, stop and think for a second to answer me this: What CAN you eat? What are your goals and what is your intake like atm? By knowing this (especially the stuff that you can eat!) we can all help out my suggesting recipes and tweaks you can make to your food diary that should hopefully help. You're in the right place to get the support to start realising what you CAN do! :flowerforyou:
Most importantly, never give up!0 -
Take this hug. I don't need it anymore.0
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Failure means you have tried and failed... the positive from that is that you have tried in the first place and so should congratulate yourself!!
You will not fail ultimately as you are on here and trying to get help and support - thats also positive!
Re your eating habits... can your body take low calorie soups? If so, drink one before meals to fill up your tummy so you will eat less and be less tempted to pick after meals.o
You sound as if you have been through the mill and back... there is only so much one person can take so that proves you are a very strong person to get this far! For which i congratulate you.
You are allowed to feel crap some days and feel like there is no end. allow yourself to wallow occasionally. But when the time is right grab the smallest glimmer of hope and positive thinking with both hands and dont let it go... it will lead to more & more of the same thing and eventually you will track back to your old self.
Baby steps each day... huge Hug coming your way.0 -
Ok, so now that's out of your system, stop and think for a second to answer me this: What CAN you eat? What are your goals and what is your intake like atm? By knowing this (especially the stuff that you can eat!) we can all help out my suggesting recipes and tweaks you can make to your food diary that should hopefully help.
THIS, immediately. You're not a failure and you're not alone. Everyone on the site has bad days and ISSUES to over come. Sharing our experiences makes us stronger as a group.0 -
You most definitely are NOT a failure. I can sympathize with you on the food issues, I have many MANY allergies to foods, dairy, sugars, wheat, barley, oats, rye, corn, potato, etc, etc...and have to be extremely careful. I have just started on MFP, but am looking forward to keeping it up - even on days when I do 'mess up'. I too am on loads of medicines daily --- loads of pain killers, etc...and have to be careful in exercizing due to the fact I was in a very bad car accident a couple of years ago, and was severely injured - a lifelong battle for me now...and I'm just 23. So, it takes patience, courage, and most of all - perseverance. Don't give up on yourself --- you ARE WORTH IT! :flowerforyou: KEEP GOING!! It's one day at a time - or even just one hour at a time....do what you can...and be sure to praise yourself for what you HAVE and CAN do. Thinking of you!!0
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Sorry about how you are feeling....it really is a daily struggle and balance.
I remember when I became pregnant with my first I was advised to NEVER finish their meals. That was probably some of the best parenting advice I've ever received (I'd be even bigger if I didn't heed that warning! LOL). So if it can't be wrapped up for the monkeys until a later time or consumed by the resident dogs it goes in the trash. I hate wasting food as much as the next person, but I know it has saved me many pounds.0 -
But YOU'RE DOING IT! You are doing it despite great odds! Pat yourself on the back and take one day at a time. Just one day. You can (keep) doing it.0
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First of all, you are not a failure. Your journey as well as everyone on here is learning journey. It takes time to find what works for you. You should be proud of yourself for your beautiful family and a beautiful you.
I can relate to how hard it is to eat really healthy when your body doesn't want cooperate. I have Crohn's disease and in a middle of a severe flare up so I understand eating is very difficult. I am on meds too and it downright sucks. But this too shall pass for the both of us. It does get better I promise you. You will figure out what works. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...if the light is dim or burnt out....put a new battery in it and it will be there to guide you.
Keep your head up high, put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. You are not failing because you reached out to us. Best wishes to you and you are in my thoughts and prayers. HUGS.
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Ok, so now that's out of your system, stop and think for a second to answer me this: What CAN you eat? What are your goals and what is your intake like atm? By knowing this (especially the stuff that you can eat!) we can all help out my suggesting recipes and tweaks you can make to your food diary that should hopefully help. You're in the right place to get the support to start realising what you CAN do! :flowerforyou:
Most importantly, never give up!
^^^^^ This. Don't give up!0 -
Shut up! I mean it! Let me talk for a second. You have been to hell and back with health problems, yet you stay on your feet to be a good Mum to your kids. That is the sign of a tough woman. You are not a failure, you are a shining example of perseverance and courage.
Now, go out and buy yourself a tape measure and throw that damned scale in the trash. Try measuring yourself instead. I know what size I want to be in clothing. I strive for that, not some number on a scale.
Instead of exercise that hurts you, take a look at this website: http://blog.stretching.name/ The stretches can be done anywhere, anytime. There are a super way to get a workout and you can even mediate as you do them.
Like you, I am not able to exercise like most people. I have rheumatoid arthritis. So, instead of bouncing and pulling, I stretch. I also go up and down the stairs a lot. Admittedly, it is slowly up and down, but I get it done everyday. Since veggies and such are out of the question, is it possible to have a juice instead? Maybe you can try it that way.
In the meantime, take a deep breath and relax. On this board you will find good people who help each other reach goals. For me it has been a major source of comfort. My husband died less than three months ago and besides the great help with tracking my food, I have been able to talk to others. Their support has been invaluable and I am moving forward.
Hang in there with us...you are not a failure. I don't surround myself with people who fail. My circle is for people who are trying their darnedest to do their best. All that really counts in this life is that...all the rest is b.s.0 -
I had major surgery 5 weeks ago, been on the morphine etc too. Also ended up with vertigo for the last 5 weeks. Feeling mightily down myself. Been told its a normal reaction to surgery and it will get better so done despair! (((Hugs)))0
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i definitely dont see you as a failure. weight loss has been a trail and error thing for many of us. you have actually lost some so that should speak for something. even if you did put the wrong weight in the calories that MFP gave you to eat are obviously working for you. look at what is working for you. even if it was accidental and work with it. you are doing well. things will get better and easier as you learn. I learn something new here all the time, so chin up! you are not a failure. muah!!! xoxo0
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I think many of us here have tried and failed at this weight loss game before. I know I have. You have already shown the courage to sign up here and own up to some of your insecurities. I think that's brave and honest. If you could just view this as the first tiny baby step toward your goal I think you'll realize you are NOT a failure. There are lots of people out there who can't even admit that their weight is something they feel affects their life in a negative way. You're stronger than you know. Chin up.0
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You're NOT a failure at all. With all that you have had to deal with, for you to keep going and gotten this far means that your are a hero in my book. I would have probably packed it in a long time back. KEEP AT IT, WE HAVE YOUR BACK!!!0
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If you keep telling yourself you are a failure, you will become one. Positive affirmation is the key. Post notes all over the place that you are not a failure, that you can do it, that every dream becomes a reality when you take that first step.
Good Luck.0 -
It's all in the numbers, really... but 1300 anything as a daily calorie count is extremely low... and might actually be causing more problems than doing good... just find what you can eat, and work with the mind frame that it is going to take a LOT of time... nothing worth doing ever happens fast.. and you are NOT a failure; a failure involves not even trying at all... so, the fact that you are trying means you are not a failure... just saying.0
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you are FAR from failure!!! are you kidding me?? i hope to be half as motivated as you are when i have a family!! you need to raise your confidence, please! your doing a great job with your family and anyways you don't need to go to the gym if your constantly on your feet. you've lost weight which is great too!! and don't sweat the food, I'm very sorry about all the complications but everyone has their good and bad days. just don't let yourself down, tomorrows another day and another fresh start.0
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You are only a failure if you quit. Sounds like you are still trying. So you are not a failure. Just don't give up on yourself. You can do it.:bigsmile:0
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