Not a fun topic, but feel horrible.

Can't say I've ever been in a situation like that, but if it were me I'd say tell her the truth. It won't be easy but it's better than stewing over it.

It's happened, and you can't take that back. I'd tell her though, before she finds out another way. Be honest about what happened and how.

Mmmm, I have had this happen before and sadly I did lose a good friend over it. But, I was much younger and I probably didn't handle it well. I also vote go with the truth.

I read your post on drinking, I won't post in both threads, but I'd maybe say this is what has catalysed your decision to stop drinking. Tell her what happened, tell her why it happened, tell her what you're going to do about it and then do it. Be clear with her and let her know what it's costing you to be honest with her. If she walks away from that, you'll know what kind of friend she was.

She might not be happy with you, but they're not in a relationship (are they?), and although it's not cool, it's happened. Nothing you can do now but move forward. Good luck with both this and the drinking - got to say, I really admire you for stopping drinking, stopping now before you have liver disease or any other kind of nasty thing happen is a good choice

Sounds as if you woke up with a moral hangover. I hate those. :grumble:

Best thing to do is just tell her and get it over with.

Go with the truth. If you hold it secret and it comes out later it will be *so much* worse.

My personal philosophy is it is easier to tell the truth and handle the little repercussions than to lie and have to back peddle with bigger repercussions. I also don't think fast enough when met head on with a direct question my head says you did this say this. SO tell the truth. And then soul search to find out why you did it.

Yup, tell the truth. Especially if the guy doesn't know your friend likes him. If he already knew he is a scumbag anyway. Save the friendship as best you can by being truthful and your friend from the jerk at the same time. If he doesn't know your friend likes him then even though it is all your fault, be truthful. Your friend will at least respect you for telling her after a "pissed off at you cool down period".

I think I'll ring her. It needs to be done, no they're not together, but they slept together a few weeks ago and it was a bit of a turning point. I didn't actually sleep with him, but it was the thought that kinda counts. It's just circumstances that made it not happen. But that's too much information :P
I think I'm a bit pissed at him too, because now you know this ^ it makes him look bad. I didn't think of that, but he told her he liked her and everything.. I'm not blaming him, was my fault too, but you know.
I have a weird thing of being attracted to people when others want them. I suck. But @Squidgeypaws0 I totally think you're right about this being a catalyst for my decision against drinking. I hate the feeling of not being in control of my actions, not to mention the calorie content haha!

It makes YOU look bad, stop trying to make yourself feel better by saying it makes him look bad...he's his own person and does what he does, it's irrelevant to you and your friends relationship. Tbh she sounds better off without you as her so called friend...I'd rather not bother with 'friends' like you.

You are in control of your actions.

I think telling her the truth is the way to go. She will probably be pissed but even more pissed if (when) she finds out anyway and feels like you lied to her too.

Hey firstly we all make mistakes BUT I am a believer that the answer lies within us; So ask yourself WHY? Did you sleep with this guy, who you say you are not that attracted to!

Are you striking out at your friend?

Are you hurting yourself?

We can only gain knowledge if we are willing to accept the experience.

Russ

He's right. If you avoid dealing with it, you can't learn from it. But keep the learning to yourself unless your friend really wants to know. You don't need to dump your baggage on her too. Call her, be upfront and honest, and be prepared to deal with the consequences. You may still lose your friend, but it's better to do the right thing now than to keep hiding things. She may actually respect you for that and you may be able to rebuild your friendship (after she gets hella pissed off at you for a while).

Good luck.
Jen

I wouldn't say a thing, but that's just me. If "nothing happened", then why feel the need to say anything?