Not a fun topic, but feel horrible.

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  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    Hey firstly we all make mistakes BUT I am a believer that the answer lies within us; So ask yourself WHY? Did you sleep with this guy, who you say you are not that attracted to!

    Are you striking out at your friend?

    Are you hurting yourself?

    We can only gain knowledge if we are willing to accept the experience.

    Russ
    He's right. If you avoid dealing with it, you can't learn from it. But keep the learning to yourself unless your friend really wants to know. You don't need to dump your baggage on her too. Call her, be upfront and honest, and be prepared to deal with the consequences. You may still lose your friend, but it's better to do the right thing now than to keep hiding things. She may actually respect you for that and you may be able to rebuild your friendship (after she gets hella pissed off at you for a while).

    Good luck.
    Jen
  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    I have a weird thing of being attracted to people when others want them.

    You need to figure this out and find a way to get over it or you are going to continue make yourself and anyone who decides to be your friend miserable for the long haul.

    Sounds like there might be some self confidence issues going on (just a guess based on my own personal experience, I'm definitely not an expert). Think about going a little deeper with this to figure out what makes you feel that way. It might be tough and painful, but you'll be better for it in the end.

    Good luck with your phone call.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
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    I wouldn't say a thing, but that's just me. If "nothing happened", then why feel the need to say anything?
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Hey your obviously a good person, because your here posting because your upset about it. If you were a bad person you wouldn't feel bad. I'd explain to her (not via text) and apologise and explain that you'd be really sad if it ended your friendship. Give her a little time and hopefully shell come round. You've probably done her a favour as this guy wouldn't make great boyfriend material if he's prepared to sleep with you! X
  • lizziegrace10
    lizziegrace10 Posts: 47
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    I have a weird thing of being attracted to people when others want them.

    You need to figure this out and find a way to get over it or you are going to continue make yourself and anyone who decides to be your friend miserable for the long haul.

    Sounds like there might be some self confidence issues going on (just a guess based on my own personal experience, I'm definitely not an expert). Think about going a little deeper with this to figure out what makes you feel that way. It might be tough and painful, but you'll be better for it in the end.

    Good luck with your phone call.

    Total self confidence issues. It's always been a problem for me.
    @coachblt, I dunno, I still feel so bad about it. Personally, I see kissing and being together a worse offence than sleeping together. To me it's more personal.
    I believe, in a weird way, that xxxzaraxxx is right about the boyfriend thing. I know I was just as bad, but it's a two way thing.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    To be honest, I don't buy this whole "I'm drunk and slept with x guy because I was drunk" rubbish. People may be drunk but are aware that they are about to have sex with someone. I'm pretty sure you were aware of what you were doing and that you wanted to do it regardless of whether or not your BF liked him. I think now that the act is done you need to face the consequences and just be trutthf to your friend. At the end of the day she is not in a relationship with the guy and he doesn't have a commitment with her. Yes, you violated unspoken "girl rules" but worse things can happen, like that best guy friend of yours thst uou had sex with could have a STD.

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