Catholic Humor...Don't Worry, It's Not Offensive :)

LauraMacNCheese
LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
My mom sent me this this morning & it made me LOL for real...and I'm Catholic :bigsmile: I honestly don't think it's offensive; but there's bound to be someone out there who's panties will wad instantaneously upon reading. So, there's your disclaimer...that being said, read on! :bigsmile:



After getting Pope Benedict’s entire luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

'Who's going to tell' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence..

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'A senator?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'

Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

Replies

  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    I cannot believe you would dare post this in an open forum where any Catholic could see it. As a Catholic I saw it. And as a Catholic I cannot unsee it. So there's that. Which is something. And not at all nothing. I must now go watch The Name of the Rose again.





    Ok, so it's pretty cute.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I don't see how that would be offensive but I'm not Catholic. I think it's very cute. I'm a Baptist but it wouldn't be as funny if it was a Pastor instead of the Pope. :laugh:
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
    An oldie but a goodie
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    funny
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?
  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    I cannot believe you would dare post this in an open forum where any Catholic could see it. As a Catholic I saw it. And as a Catholic I cannot unsee it. So there's that. Which is something. And not at all nothing. I must now go watch The Name of the Rose again.





    Ok, so it's pretty cute.

    Lmao
  • Gilbrod
    Gilbrod Posts: 1,216 Member
    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • saintspoon
    saintspoon Posts: 242 Member
    Hehe... 13 years of Catholic school & I love it ;)

    Happy Easter Monday!!
  • jogar54
    jogar54 Posts: 4
    Well from one Catholic to another, i thought it was very funny.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    OK, that was funny.
  • cnsmith2
    cnsmith2 Posts: 539 Member
    ha ha that was great. :)
  • vipergts223
    vipergts223 Posts: 114 Member
    I'm catholic, its funny... and I was baptized twice, so I know what I'm talking about
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    Catholic and I'm lmao!!!

    Thank you!! I needed this laugh! :)
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
    that's great, lol
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?

    Probably...I'm sure there's a sin in there somewhere :laugh:
  • Farfourah
    Farfourah Posts: 896 Member
    lollll.
  • Rav3nfan
    Rav3nfan Posts: 24 Member
    Loved it -- very cute laugh:
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
    Cute :)
  • barongaston
    barongaston Posts: 109
    for what its worth, I am Catholic and I thought it was pretty funny, so much so I am going to re-tell it ;)
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    Very good ! (True story)

    Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it :wink:
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    Very good ! (True story)

    Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it :wink:

    $30...that's it? Must be Protestant...:wink:
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it :wink:
    $30...that's it? Must be Protestant...:wink:

    Protestant? I'm the F'ing Pope, (and I *kitten* in the woods). Why does nobody take me seriously?
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Haha that's very good!!!!!!!!!! I'm Catholic! Just got confirmed Saturday night. :happy:

    That was not offensive at all. I will send to my in-laws who are very Catholic! They will love it. Thanks for sharing.
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?

    Hahaha YES! 10 Hail Marys, 5 Our Fathers, and a rosary for good measure!!
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    Great joke. Thanks
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?

    Hahaha YES! 10 Hail Marys, 5 Our Fathers, and a rosary for good measure!!

    Yeah that's a fitting penance LOL
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
    I started reading it, but knew after the second line I had heard that many times before.....but I laugh every time! Very funny!
  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
    Damn, my knees are too old to do the Stations of the Cross and they dont sell Indulgences anymore.....why oh why did you have to post this!!!!!
This discussion has been closed.