Catholic Humor...Don't Worry, It's Not Offensive :)
LauraMacNCheese
Posts: 7,173 Member
My mom sent me this this morning & it made me LOL for real...and I'm Catholic :bigsmile: I honestly don't think it's offensive; but there's bound to be someone out there who's panties will wad instantaneously upon reading. So, there's your disclaimer...that being said, read on! :bigsmile:
After getting Pope Benedict’s entire luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence..
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
After getting Pope Benedict’s entire luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'Who's going to tell' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
'Please slow down, Your Holiness' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence..
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'
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Replies
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I cannot believe you would dare post this in an open forum where any Catholic could see it. As a Catholic I saw it. And as a Catholic I cannot unsee it. So there's that. Which is something. And not at all nothing. I must now go watch The Name of the Rose again.
Ok, so it's pretty cute.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I don't see how that would be offensive but I'm not Catholic. I think it's very cute. I'm a Baptist but it wouldn't be as funny if it was a Pastor instead of the Pope. :laugh:0
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An oldie but a goodie0
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funny0
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Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?0
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I cannot believe you would dare post this in an open forum where any Catholic could see it. As a Catholic I saw it. And as a Catholic I cannot unsee it. So there's that. Which is something. And not at all nothing. I must now go watch The Name of the Rose again.
Ok, so it's pretty cute.
Lmao0 -
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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Hehe... 13 years of Catholic school & I love it
Happy Easter Monday!!0 -
Well from one Catholic to another, i thought it was very funny.0
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OK, that was funny.0
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ha ha that was great.0
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I'm catholic, its funny... and I was baptized twice, so I know what I'm talking about0
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Catholic and I'm lmao!!!
Thank you!! I needed this laugh!0 -
that's great, lol0
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Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?
Probably...I'm sure there's a sin in there somewhere :laugh:0 -
lollll.0
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Loved it -- very cute laugh:0
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Cute0
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for what its worth, I am Catholic and I thought it was pretty funny, so much so I am going to re-tell it0
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Very good ! (True story)
Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it0 -
Very good ! (True story)
Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it
$30...that's it? Must be Protestant...0 -
Now say three hail Mary's, give me $30 and we'll say no more about it$30...that's it? Must be Protestant...
Protestant? I'm the F'ing Pope, (and I *kitten* in the woods). Why does nobody take me seriously?0 -
Haha that's very good!!!!!!!!!! I'm Catholic! Just got confirmed Saturday night. :happy:
That was not offensive at all. I will send to my in-laws who are very Catholic! They will love it. Thanks for sharing.0 -
Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?
Hahaha YES! 10 Hail Marys, 5 Our Fathers, and a rosary for good measure!!0 -
Great joke. Thanks0
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Are you gonna have to confess laughing at this?
Hahaha YES! 10 Hail Marys, 5 Our Fathers, and a rosary for good measure!!
Yeah that's a fitting penance LOL0 -
I started reading it, but knew after the second line I had heard that many times before.....but I laugh every time! Very funny!0
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Damn, my knees are too old to do the Stations of the Cross and they dont sell Indulgences anymore.....why oh why did you have to post this!!!!!0
This discussion has been closed.
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