No Support for thin, but not fit....

I think thats the difference on here between the guys and girls. A lot of guys are on here for fitness reasons, whereas generally women are here for losing weight. I reached my goal weight on here ages ago, but now I want to focus on being fit, and now to get lean. The comments that I get if I eat something "bad" are "oh, I didnt think you were allowed to eat that???" Its not that people dont care. Theyre probably jealous that you look amazing.
There are loads of us who are on here for the same reasons as you, feel free to add me if you want

:laugh: I am also 5ft 2in with 2 kids that extra 10 lb really does show.

If people around you already see you as thin, it will be hard for them to understand why you are trying to lose weight. If you are trying to increase your fitness and tighten up your core, then thats what you should focus on when you speak to them instead of reducing it to simply weight loss. You may get more support if you're bragging about how much weight you benched, or how many sit ups you did, or that you can keep up with your kids, etc. Theres nothing wrong with someone being thin who wants to lose weight and shape up, but it can be difficult for people around you who may be struggling with 30 lbs of fat or a high bmi to relate to what you're going through or be excited for you. There are just some journeys we have to take for ourselves and we may find we are alone on those journeys.

Agreed.

Nobody wants to hear the thin girl complain about being fat. Nobody wants to hear the genius complain about only getting a 99% on a test. Nobody wants to hear the CEO of a company complaining about lack of benefits. Etc.

Most people are only eager to support you if they see a real need. You're already thin so it's difficult for people to sympathize with your circumstance - regardless of your actual goals.

I'm in a very similar situation. I'm thinner, but I would still like to lose about 15 lbs and get toned/fit. I've simply stopped talking about it to my family, friends, and coworkers because of a similar response.

From here it's all self motivation - and letting your bathing suit do the talking at the end of your road.

Speaking as a slight devils advocate here, it could be that their internal monologues go something like this: "oh god, she's just trying to rub it in and get us to praise her and tell her how wonderful she is which is the LAST thing we want to do because we feel so awful ourselves" I know this because I have had the same internal monologue when my mum talks to me.

(Granted, she talks very differently however, she doesn't say positive things like "I lost this" or "I suceeded in that", she goes "ooh I'm SO p*ssed off, because my size 12 jeans are tight" - which when I have just had to buy size 16 trousers, at 25 years her junior and no children under my belt, is just plain depressing. And my mum IS fishing for compliments, as well as being the one to tell me "gosh look at the SIZE of your BUM!")

I think, rather than weight goals or achievements, if you were to tell them of fitness goals and achievements they may be more open to acknowledging just how well you're doing. When larger people have your size / weight goal in mind for themselves, they probably think that you must be fine and dandy. It doesn't occur that your goal could be different. For me, weightloss is going to be slow and steady wins the race, and I'm fine with that. I will be seeing my mum for the first time in a month next week, and depite my recent 8lb weightloss, she will not notice it. But when I tell her that I can run for over 20 minutes, I know she'll comment positively on that!

Everything on this journey is a case of perspective - and there will always be support here :flowerforyou:

I understand your struggle. I also do not have support from my friends and family. I have to find the ability to just stand up to them and state my goal and have the willpower to stick with it. Sometimes it does make life difficult to continue focusing on your goal.

Please feel free to add me as a friend for support.

Agreed!! Bump to read when im not at work!

I understand what you are saying. For many many years I was one of those people who was super thin (137 lbs and 5'11" tall) but I was not at all healthy. I figured since I was thin that it was okay to eat fast food every day and never exercise. I wasn't healthy though, not at all. I couldn't even walk up a single flight of stairs without gasping for breath (and only in my early 20s!). I also had no body strength. Then in my mid 20s I was still very thin but found out I had prediabetes and high cholesterol from my unhealthy lifestyle. I started trying to eat healthy and exercise and the reaction from people would be "why are you eating those diet foods, you need to eat more!" or similar comments. They didn't understand that I NEEDED to eat healthy and exercise because my doctor was telling me I was going to turn into a diabetic or get heart disease if I didn't do somethin ASAP. I had no support for trying to get healthier from most people. They would just look at me being thin and be jealous of me when in reality my heavier friends were actually far healthier and fitter than I ever was!

These days I'm a bit heavier (not overweight but trying to lose the last of the baby weight from my last pregnancy) but I've started strength training and for several years now I've been doing cardio and trying to eat as healthy as I can. I've not been able to reverse the prediabetes but my cholesterol has improved and I feel better now that I have a healthier lifestyle. However I still hear people at work making comments about why am I doing all this when I'm not that heavy. I know I need to do these things though for my health. I just make sure I don't talk about how much I've lost when I'm around those people and I just instead answer these people's derisive comments with remarks that everyone needs to exercise and eat healthy no matter what their size in order to be a healthy person. That usually shames them into leaving me alone since they are embarrassed that they aren't doing those things and they know they should.

Sorry to hear that your friends and family aren't being supportive. Are they heavier? It may be that they are jealous of how good your looking. That is no excuse for them to act that way though, they should be happy of your accomplishments and be happy that your happy.


For what its worth, Congrats!!:flowerforyou:

THIS!

Good for you for choosing your own healthy path! to heck with them if they don't support you!

You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

Maybe you should concentrate on exercise and asking for support for that instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

good luck.

agreed- besides- isn't the name myFITNESSpal? if it were just for weight loss, they would have named it something else!

WOW! :noway:

My Fitness Pal is for anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle...... It shouldn't matter if someone is thin, thick, muscular or flabby..... everyone is here for their own journey and should receive support.