No Support for thin, but not fit....

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Replies

  • braign
    braign Posts: 89
    You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

    Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

    Maybe you should concentrate on exercise instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

    good luck.

    Haha as much as I joke about it and call it 'my fatness pal' to my husband, it's a fitness website and whether that means losing, maintaining or gaining, it pretty much encompasses everyone!
  • eknobbe
    eknobbe Posts: 106 Member
    Agreed!! Bump to read when im not at work!
  • Tennybird
    Tennybird Posts: 22 Member
    Thank you so much for all the replies. I never excepted that!

    Some background.....I admit I am very lucky. But I was no where near healthy or fit. In the morning I would grab a Diet Coke and a chocolate covered granola bar for breakfast and not eat again until 3:00 pm. I joined MFP to make me accountable. I set a rule for myself that I have to put something in for breakfast, lunch and dinner. With that I'm not talking about just junk food, I need to put a real meal in.

    I admit I have been very lucky in the past. But I am getting older, my body isn't the same as it used to be. I have 3 kids who I have to be an example for. What am I teaching them about eating right if I put veggies on their plate, but have a junk food for my meal? Kids learn by example and I want to be a good example for them. I have learned so much on this site, I was amazed about how much I didn't know about food, exercise and an overall healthy lifestyle. So YES, I do think I belong here.

    I have been doing Jillian Micheal 30DS along with the Couch to 5K plan (even thought I have no desire to fun a 5K, but I know so little about exercising properly I need to be told exactly what to do). I am on Level 3 of the 30DS and my plan for when that is done is to get a couple more of Jillian Micheal videos (not sure which ones yet) and I also got the New Rules for Lifting for Woman (as talked about so much on this site, which again I would have never heard of if I wasn't on this site) and plan on starting to lift too. I am very lucky again to have a husband who lifts and have all the equipment at home. So I really have no excuse.

    I think you are all right, IF I'm going to brag I need to do it about something other then weight. But in all honestly I really don't care what the scales says if I fit in my clothes better and feel comfortable in my own body. I guess weight is the easiest thing to measure to make sure I'm on the right track.

    Thank you so much for the support! It really does mean the world to me!!
  • Tennybird
    Tennybird Posts: 22 Member
    Also those of you who said I can add you as a friend I think I will.....as soon as I figure out how to!! :smile:
  • la8dcruz
    la8dcruz Posts: 82 Member
    You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

    Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

    Maybe you should concentrate on exercise and asking for support for that instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

    good luck.

    WOW! :noway:

    My Fitness Pal is for anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle...... It shouldn't matter if someone is thin, thick, muscular or flabby..... everyone is here for their own journey and should receive support.
  • eponine1976
    eponine1976 Posts: 143 Member
    I understand what you are saying. For many many years I was one of those people who was super thin (137 lbs and 5'11" tall) but I was not at all healthy. I figured since I was thin that it was okay to eat fast food every day and never exercise. I wasn't healthy though, not at all. I couldn't even walk up a single flight of stairs without gasping for breath (and only in my early 20s!). I also had no body strength. Then in my mid 20s I was still very thin but found out I had prediabetes and high cholesterol from my unhealthy lifestyle. I started trying to eat healthy and exercise and the reaction from people would be "why are you eating those diet foods, you need to eat more!" or similar comments. They didn't understand that I NEEDED to eat healthy and exercise because my doctor was telling me I was going to turn into a diabetic or get heart disease if I didn't do somethin ASAP. I had no support for trying to get healthier from most people. They would just look at me being thin and be jealous of me when in reality my heavier friends were actually far healthier and fitter than I ever was!

    These days I'm a bit heavier (not overweight but trying to lose the last of the baby weight from my last pregnancy) but I've started strength training and for several years now I've been doing cardio and trying to eat as healthy as I can. I've not been able to reverse the prediabetes but my cholesterol has improved and I feel better now that I have a healthier lifestyle. However I still hear people at work making comments about why am I doing all this when I'm not that heavy. I know I need to do these things though for my health. I just make sure I don't talk about how much I've lost when I'm around those people and I just instead answer these people's derisive comments with remarks that everyone needs to exercise and eat healthy no matter what their size in order to be a healthy person. That usually shames them into leaving me alone since they are embarrassed that they aren't doing those things and they know they should.
  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
    Well I have lost like 65 pounds and some people don't congratulate me for that.

    I am not being critical - because I know how hard it is to deal with people who you are getting fit - but perhaps it doesn't have all that much to do with the weight you start at. In fact, it most likely has nothing to do with you.

    It has everything to do with the person who you are talking to. If you are staying "I lost 5 pounds" to someone who just gained 10 they might not be thinking about your victory, but instead about thier own percieved failure. Of course they should be happy for you, but keep in mind they may not be in the place to do that right now.

    And frankly, everyone gets the entire "oh just eat it." thing, regardless of what they weigh. I just can't let that get to me.
  • carriem73
    carriem73 Posts: 333 Member
    Sorry to hear that your friends and family aren't being supportive. Are they heavier? It may be that they are jealous of how good your looking. That is no excuse for them to act that way though, they should be happy of your accomplishments and be happy that your happy.


    For what its worth, Congrats!!:flowerforyou:

    THIS!

    Good for you for choosing your own healthy path! to heck with them if they don't support you!
  • Axels91
    Axels91 Posts: 213
    people make fitness and weight loss a competition. its ridiculous. sometimes people would rather have you one step closer to diabetes or heart disease if it means they can be the thinnest one in the room.
  • carriem73
    carriem73 Posts: 333 Member
    You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

    Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

    Maybe you should concentrate on exercise and asking for support for that instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

    good luck.

    agreed- besides- isn't the name myFITNESSpal? if it were just for weight loss, they would have named it something else!

    WOW! :noway:

    My Fitness Pal is for anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle...... It shouldn't matter if someone is thin, thick, muscular or flabby..... everyone is here for their own journey and should receive support.
  • sheryllamb72
    sheryllamb72 Posts: 163 Member
    You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

    Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

    Maybe you should concentrate on exercise and asking for support for that instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

    good luck.

    WOW! :noway:

    My Fitness Pal is for anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle...... It shouldn't matter if someone is thin, thick, muscular or flabby..... everyone is here for their own journey and should receive support.

    A questin was raised.....I gave my opinion!! Jeeez, these message boards are crazy!!! Everyone has their own opinions, this is mine!!!.....move on!
  • nikkijoshua
    nikkijoshua Posts: 85 Member
    I know what you mean and your problem is not just limited to someone who's thin and looking to drop a few pounds and be more fit. After I lost 40 lbs, no one in my family said a word for a long time. I was stunned. We would have family gatherings for the holiday and I would be waiting on someone to notice and compliment me, but no one said anyting. After about a year of maintaining that weight loss, all of a sudden they seemed to notice. No real compliments, but at least they noticed and started to ask what I had done to lose the weight. I really think the problem was the fact that we (me and my 3 sisters) had all gained weight and had become overweight after having babies, but now I was the only one losing weight. It was just envy. I also had a friend who lost 80 lbs and was the one who inspired me to get back into fitness resulting in the 40 lb weight loss. I was so supportive of her, but when I would talk to her about the kind of workouts I enjoyed and other fitness related topics, she would always find a way to make me feel as if whatever she was doing and whatever she liked was far superior to what I was doing and what I liked. It got so bad that now I don't even talk to her about fitness.

    I think you, first and foremost, have to be your own support system. Secondly, find a group of people who have similar goals and are willing to be encouraging and supportive. I have a great group of MFP friends. Most are trying to lose a small amount of weight and be more fit and some are looking to lose alot of weight, but we all support one another. I find it odd that I get more support from total strangers here on MFP than I do from family and friends that I've known for years.
  • MoooveOverFluffy
    MoooveOverFluffy Posts: 398 Member
    You're a petite with a small frame. At 124 lbs and already thin, LOSING WEIGHT really has nothing to do with BEING FIT. So, instead of announcing that you've lost 5 lbs., wait till you're all buff and whip out your 6 pack. Try increasing your calories and lifting some heavy weights. That's about the best thing you can do for your physique since you don't have much weight to lose. Check out some articles on body recomp, and don't concentrate so much (or look for a pat on the back) about losing pounds. And find others in same situation as you here on MFP and friend them up.
  • michellematteson
    michellematteson Posts: 134
    I confess, I had a little bit of this going on myself. I see someone who starts out at 120 pounds trying to get down to 110 and the little bad part of me speaks up and says "Bah, they don't need to lose weight. It's all in their heads." Doubly so if they post something like "HELP! I am trying to lose 10 pounds and I have MFP set to lose 2 pounds a week, and I only eat 1,200 calories a day, and it's been a week and I only lost a half pound and I don't know why this is not working!!!1!" I have been trying to remember that it's not only the number on the scale, but fitness that matters. What is the expression everyone keeps using? "Thin people look good in clothes, fit people look good naked."

    I think this is not only about losing weight but also getting healthy for the majority of the people on here, or at least the ones that have been doing it for years. Some people start out at a low weight but still have a problem area. Some are like me and have a lot of problem area (or areas as it may be). Maybe try using non-scale goals instead? "I dropped a dress size!" "I can run a mile!" "I can see my toes in the first time in years, and I realized I have 11 of them!" Stuff like that is still awesome and doesn't sound like you being snobbish about weight.
  • flong1975
    flong1975 Posts: 56
    Congrats on the 5 pound loss! Keep your chin up and ignore all the haters - they are just jealous! I used to get upset when family or friends would comment about my diet or weight loss in a negative way. There I was TRYING to improve myself and people were knocking me down. My husband would always respond to my *****ing like this, " WHY do you care what they think? I don't know why you talk to people about it because it's not their buisness anyway." He's right. This time around when people ask me if I am on a diet, I tell them it's not a diet but a lifestyle change. I want to be healthy. If they tell me I do not need to lose weight, I tell them that's their opinion and that is not really my goal. However, if weight loss happens, GREAT! If not, then I won't beat myself up over it. You know what? It worked! People seam to be more supporive of this new lifestyle. I am not depriving myself of things which helps too with losing the sterotype of this being a diet. It calorie counting not food dodging....

    If it's support you need, you have it here!
  • Doomfrog
    Doomfrog Posts: 79
    Phst. Hate on haters. I would master the art of the simple "no thank you," when people offer you Twinkies and Hohos and other crap you don't want to eat. And then when they inveitably project their need to not feel guilty for stuffing their faces with Twinkies and Hohos and keep saying, "Why? But why? Why? Why don't you want Twinkies and Hohos?" You'll be forced to say, "Well, because I'm watching my health and weight and have lost 5 pounds and don't want to derail myself. And then when they roll their eyes and sigh and generally act like A**holes, you can say, "Well, you should have just let me stop at no thank you since it's really none of your beeswax."

    People need to go to finishing school. I swear.
  • flong1975
    flong1975 Posts: 56
    Congrats on the 5 pound loss! Keep your chin up and ignore all the haters - they are just jealous! I used to get upset when family or friends would comment about my diet or weight loss in a negative way. There I was TRYING to improve myself and people were knocking me down. My husband would always respond to my *****ing like this, " WHY do you care what they think? I don't know why you talk to people about it because it's not their buisness anyway." He's right. This time around when people ask me if I am on a diet, I tell them it's not a diet but a lifestyle change. I want to be healthy. If they tell me I do not need to lose weight, I tell them that's their opinion and that is not really my goal. However, if weight loss happens, GREAT! If not, then I won't beat myself up over it. You know what? It worked! People seam to be more supporive of this new lifestyle. I am not depriving myself of things which helps too with losing the sterotype of this being a diet. It calorie counting not food dodging....

    If it's support you need, you have it here!

    one more thing I tell people - if you are 200 lbs trying to lose 50 pounds or 125 trying to lose 5, when people say things to me like, " You don't need to lose wight. I only wish I looked like you." I tell them - IT'S ALL RELATIVE. and leave it at that....
  • k8lyn_235
    k8lyn_235 Posts: 507 Member
    i'm in a similar position. everyone around me basically rolls their eyes when i say no to a piece of pizza or cake or whatever because i'm trying to eat healthy. they just say, you don't need to lose any weight.. you weigh less than one of my legs, blah blah. just let those comments roll off your back.. there are a lot of people here on MFP who are in the same boat and who are very supportive! i think we should all commend each other for trying to get healthier - no matter how much weight is on the line to lose.
  • wingsandgills
    wingsandgills Posts: 48 Member
    OP, I think you need to have a serious conversation with some of your family/friends about respect. Just because you're thin does not mean you're healthy or fit, and everyone likes to make a point of that. My dad, who is overweight, used to tell that to chubby little kid me all the time. ;P

    So your family/friends should be able to see that just being thinner doesn't mean you could continue to improve your diet and activity levels in various ways. They should be supportive. If they were worried that you were overdoing it, they would say something rather than ignore you or roll their eyes.

    I think there is probably more going on here and I don't know the whole situation, but I definitely suggest having an open dialogue about respect and support. Friends respect each other even if they don't agree with each other. You deserve better than what they're giving you.
  • 987Runner
    987Runner Posts: 209
    I'm kind of in the same boat. I don't tell anyone I'm "dieting" I simply tell them I'm training for a half marathon and I want to save my calories for more food because donuts take up so much of my calorie budget. Or I need the right kind of calories for my run tonight. But man, that sure looks good!
  • Kebby83
    Kebby83 Posts: 232 Member
    I've cried when someone tells me they lost weight before. Because they were so much smaller than me, and I think I was sat there eating an apple while they were digging into a cheeseburger. It broke my heart to know how I have let myself get this way. I didn't congratulate them - I was sarcastic. Sorry, it's just the way I get !

    Telling people bigger than you that you are trying to lose weight is a stab in the stomach whether it should be or shouldn't be. Sometimes it's inconsiderate too. You need to look for the right people to get congratulations from.

    [edit to clarify - telling people face to face that have nothing to do with your weight loss. On here, or if someone asks and makes them self a part of it is different]
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