I'm not how I used to be and I hate it

41lbs is a awesome amount to lose! Just keep thinking about how far u have come so far. I have the odd icecream once a week just as a treat and a beer lol. I just make sure I dont go to far over my calories which I havent done yet. I eat a lot of the same food each day and it can kind of get boring but the weight is coming off so its worth it. Listening to other peoples negativity is really unmotivating so hopping on here when ur feeling a bit down does help. Good luck with the rest of ur weight loss

Don't give up! You've already made such great progress. Maybe time to clean house with your MFPals!!!! I do have friends that suggest more fruit/veg, which is what I need to hear on occasion, but no one tries to "convert" me to their program. My unsolicited advice would be to keep doing what is obviously working for you. Don't get stressed out. You are heading in the right direction. Friend me, if you like.

Make no mistake, this is a tough journey - every pound lost is a hard won success, so well done you for what you've achieved so far!

When I'm faced with the realities of how difficult certain things are, I tell myself " A lesser woman couldn't do this".

Give yourself a pat on the back for persevering through the adversity.

I hear you, OP. When I focused on weight loss for the purpose of being thin, I often did not hold strong when the pressure was on. I would be starving and want to go to the Chinese buffet or something, and I'd say, "F*** it, I can be fat. I have a good life anyway." Obviously I didn't feel like that in the end, 'cause as soon as I was done eating, I'd feel horrible and guilty. I felt like something was wrong with me preventing me from being happy and from eating right. It's a really terrible place to be in, and no one can really reach you...

You sound like you're having a brief tussle with depression, or maybe you've been dealing with it for a while. You are the only one who can make your choices, but I STRONGLY recommend finding a talk therapist, counselor, or therapy group to work with. You're talking yourself down into a pit, and an objective viewpoint coming from an "expert" (someone you're going to because of their experience with this) helping you see the other side of things is really helpful. They see the upsides that you miss because you are feeling so down.

As for the idea of losing weight to be able to shop at regular clothing stores, to like the way I look, etc... I want all that still. But it didn't provide me with the strength I needed to change my habits. Instead, I started learning about the food I was eating. I watched documentaries like this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0z5X0i92OZQ) about sugar, and read tons of studies on fats and preservatives. I made myself aware of what I was doing to myself that went far beyond bodyfat. That education is what helps me, because it doesn't seem like it'll taste so good when I know it's garbage turning my arteries brown and my blood to sludge.

On a lighter note, you have got to remember why you embarked on this journey! Yes, you want to fit into smaller clothes. But why? Why should you want that? I'll tell you why, though you might not be thinking it now... because you're awesome, you know you're a great person who deserves to be happy. You felt that fitting into smaller clothes would make you happy (and you deserve to be happy!) so you started to lose weight.

Well, maybe smaller clothes doesn't sound as rewarding now, but you STILL deserve happiness! Don't lose sight of the fact that you started this for YOU, and for your happiness. You can reward yourself 100 different ways, it doesn't have to be with clothes. But it starts with how you can be happy.