Falling off the wagon - and why it's OKAY to take a day off

stephabef
stephabef Posts: 936 Member
edited December 17 in Health and Weight Loss
Just wanted to share a bit of my personal experience on this site...

For the first two months, I ate "immaculately" (quoted because it was immaculate in my eyes at the time... though, obviously, good and bad eating is all subjective). My target calorie number was GOD. I always underestimated, never wanted to go over. If I made a slip up, I beat myself up about it. I went from 140 pounds to 130 and felt pretty darn good.

Then came Thanksgiving. Fell off the wagon a bit, then jumped back on... but in the back of my head, I kept freaking out about Christmas/Hanukkah, knowing that holiday time for my family was right around the corner. I kept psyching myself out - it felt like subconscious self-sabotage.

Sure enough, the holidays came around and I began to binge nightly. Cookies, big dinners, things I hadn't eaten in months. I'd been so strict with myself that I completely splurged and ate like there was no tomorrow. I remember specifically these m&m cookies... after everyone went to bed, I'd eat 4 of 'em easily. After Christmas, I weighed 134 pounds. It wasn't water weight. My weight increased another 2... mentally, I was out of it. I'd exercise, binge, exercise.

I'm back on my journey again, but I have a different attitude. I WILL allow myself that cheat day once in a while. I WON'T turn down offers to go out to dinner, afraid that I'll go over my calories, only to stress out and end up eating double in a binge. I won't restrict for days and then freak out.

I'm back down to 133 pounds, running, lifting weights, and feeling incredibly happy and healthy. My support system on here has been fantastic, and I feel so privileged to have access to a site like this. I have the ability to buy healthy food, cook for myself, run on a safe street, go to the gym, and track my progress. And I can go out and have a few beers with friends and get right back to it the next day. Why? Because I visualize my journey - and it's not a strictly linear one; there's different kinds of growth that can occur - it's a constant journey. I know that this process can be cyclical if we let it be, so I'll continue being healthy because I LOVE the feeling. I love myself, I can forgive myself, and I can have a day off without falling prey to guilt that consumes me for far too long.

Replies

  • aleexFIT
    aleexFIT Posts: 77 Member
    I couldn't have put it better myself! <3 WTG, you have done fantastically!
  • missb92
    missb92 Posts: 200 Member
    Very wise words. Words ive been needing to hear in the last few days as it sounds all too familiar to my own journey, and im learning to adapt the same attitude. Its great to actually read logically what im trying to figure out in my own head! Thank you :flowerforyou:
  • yuliyax
    yuliyax Posts: 288
    I ate "immaculately" (quoted because it was immaculate in my eyes at the time... though, obviously, good and bad eating is all subjective). My target calorie number was GOD. I always underestimated, never wanted to go over. If I made a slip up, I beat myself up about it. I went from 140 pounds to 130 and felt pretty darn good.
    This is so me, I don't want to slip up, unfortunately it is affecting my life now because to be able to have social life and drink alcohol and eat lovely food I need to be eating very little in the day and go hungry and I didn't even eat chocolate for easter (still fealing sorry for myself hah). I definiately need to work on being more laid back......
  • ImaSongbird
    ImaSongbird Posts: 126 Member
    Me too! Especially during *that time of the month* I crave certain foods. If I simply allow myself to eat what I'm craving, I'm satisfied and can get back on my program. If I tell myself I'm *not allowed* to have those things, I'll eat six times as much of things that *are* allowed because nothing else satisfies that craving.
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
    I have fallen off the wagon and been run over by it. I dust myself off and start again.
  • AimeeCarolyn
    AimeeCarolyn Posts: 34 Member
    I really appreciate that you posted this. I know it took me a while, but I'm really glad I don't freak out about an "off" day as much anymore. Sometimes we need to do what's best to keep us sane throughout this journey. Still love your diaries though! :)
  • lipglossjunky73
    lipglossjunky73 Posts: 497 Member
    I always "cheat".... But it's not really cheating. If I am going to live this way for the rest of my life, I will be damned if chocolate isn't a part of the plan!!!!
  • mamaw322
    mamaw322 Posts: 21 Member
    Amen!
  • fitforlife34
    fitforlife34 Posts: 331 Member
    First of all, 133lbs? I'm envious, wish I could get back to that weight. Yes it is hard. I"m such a yo yo. But i can't give up.
  • anitasongs
    anitasongs Posts: 129 Member
    This is my last 30 years of dieting and as I know it does not work you do deprive yourself and crave and over eat.
    I will eat healthy, love my self and yes, eat things I enjoy, but most of the time pick things that feed my body in a healthy way.
    No I will not have chocolate cake, maybe one day, a slice.
    I am learning day by day.
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
    You know what is great about "cheat" days!?!? A lot of other diet programs have them built in. Like the Atkins diet...you 14 days on the diet take two day off then 14 back on! Just as one example. So knowing that other programs allow for them too makes me feel a little better when I slip off the wagon! I actually slipped off last friday but I jumped right back on immediately (i had breakfast from IHOP and didn't care one lick about the calories) and I still managed to lose weight/inches!

    I found myself stressing about this upcoming weekend because I am going to a wedding. But I thought to myself, I can eat a healthy low cal breakfast, maybe something light and easy for lunch basically backing off my calories earlier in the day. This way by the time the reception comes around I dont feel as bad for eating dinner and having a few beers! Then I can watch it again the next day! So really if you do it like that it's not REALLY cheating....right!?!?
  • ahubbard134
    ahubbard134 Posts: 61 Member
    You rock! Same thing happened to me this year--down five in the fall, I stopped logging over the holidays, and then realized I gained three back this spring.

    Now I almost always go just slightly over my calorie goal. Sometimes I go too high, but it's just another bar on my nutrition graph. I've given myself permission to fail and go over the limit, just not all the time. Hopefully i'll be hitting 133 soon!
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    It's so easy to feel alone when I fall off the wagon. I see so many people on my friends list posting that they finished the day under their goal...and then there is me. It's always good to see that someone else falls off like I do. I just seem to have such a hard time getting back on...and I need to lose this weight so bad. Feeling so discouraged lately.
  • SweetSammie
    SweetSammie Posts: 391 Member
    I'm trying to not view it as cheating at all. I am trying to look at it as... I have a budget. I need to feel full, I need to get certain nutrients, I need to enjoy my food... all in my budget. I can work out to make my budget bigger ( I eat 1/2-3/4 of exercise calories).
    If I do something like what I did yesterday (had pasta and pink cream sauce, lunch portion), then I have to compensate in some way. I need to eat something not so calorie dense but filling for dinner (I had a huge salad with veggies and hardboiled egg), I also need to workout... but nothing is off limits.
    Granted, I'm 25 days in 8 lbs lost -- no expert at all. However, this is the first time I've not been on the brink of insanity while dieting (because I'm not dieting). I had a Ghiradelli chocolate square (AWESOME - 60 cals of AWESOME) today. I had strawberry shortcake on Easter and I had icecream last week... and I didn't go over my cals.
    However, the true test of my theory will come when I visit family in Ohio... SO MUCH FOOD, SO LITTLE TIME... I sense many, many walks.. or maybe my Dad will want to go hiking?
  • nickyrobinson
    nickyrobinson Posts: 161 Member
    Knowing your current maintenance calories (more formally: TDEE) is really valuable because you eat up to that knowing that over the long haul, you are just "pausing" for that day, rather than back-sliding.

    And for more extended periods (for instance vacation), I actually update my goals to maintenance rather than trying to maintain weight loss, then set them back down when I come back.
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