Appropriate Age for child to count calories?

Hi

I have a 12 year old boy, who has always been on the heavier side, and dr's have stated concern more often than not during exams. he is 4'11" and weighs 124, and carries it all in his stomach (which makes his really self conscious ). He is currently in wrestling 3x week, but will soon be doing football. He is right there on the cusp of two different teams, and has asked me if i would PLEASE help him lose 10 lbs by July so he can be in the younger of the two groups (this is his first year, and he is REALLY nervous about going with older kids, because they would be 13 and 14 -- the group he wants to be in is 11 and 12 year olds). What are your thoughts? Should i just encourage him to think about his choices and guide him without going into detail (logging/measuring) like i do for myself? At what age is it appropriate to start teaching your kids what calories are and the different nutrients, etc. He is homeschooled as well, so this isnt something he will be learning in public school -- its all up to me.

Thank u!!

MFP is not a site customized for children/kids....

As far as caloric intake that is right for your kid(s), you need to go right back to that office and ask for a referral to a Registered Dietician who specializes in working with Pediatrics where this definitely entails a medical-related scenario....

Shame on that doctor.... I would be having a FIELD DAY with that doctor of yours... I cant believe they let you leave that office with no appropriate information to work with or a referral to an RD.... and I work in healthcare, so it makes me doubly mad!

I don't have kids so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I think it's fine to teach your kids how to read labels and understand what they're putting in their bodies. It helps them make healthy choices. But, I also think it's important to balance that with making your children aware that counting calories is not the most important thing in the world, that it's okay to snack in moderation, and that it's okay to not be "thin." I think it's a tough job, trying to teach your kids how to be aware of what they eat without making them hyperaware and stressed/self-conscious about it. But, I do think it can be done.

What does he eat in a typical day?

I wouldn't count/have him count his calories, but I would limit his intake of any junk food (processed) and fast food. Also, no soda or juice. This is good for the whole family so you don't have to seclude him.

I think I'd focus on portion sizes and healthy choices at this age, dropping weight to meet a fitness goal is great lesson. You could even make it a homeschool science type thing.

1) Power to weight ratios, losts of stuff in cycling and running about this.

2) Take some of his favorite foods and explain portions and daily needs (focus on what you need to fuel your day not what you can't have). Say you have a frozen pizza, ask different people, your son included, "If one serving is 300-450 calories, ~ 15-22% of your daily caloric allottment, how big is a serving?" Then compare our perception to the label, its an eye opener!

You can figure out his calorie requirements and guide his choices, but don't measure or be too strict about it. Good luck!

Oh, and explain that the more natural the food the better the fuel.

I think it's fine to teach your kids how to read labels and understand what they're putting in their bodies.

In my opinion it depends on the child, but generally speaking I would think somewhere around high school age and even then only in limited circumstances.

If it were my child I would do my part to feed him better and encourage him to move more and I'd rely on that method first.

Homeschooling is a perfect opportunity to teach him healthy eating and exercise! I know my daughtera' ciriculum covers eating healthy and an active lifestyle in Health beginning in kindergarten. Teach him how to cook (health and home ec.), healthy foods. Explain, labels and teach him how to use them. Find a new activity (exercise), and incorporate it into your school day (think gym). I've taken my girls grocery shopping, and had them create a healthy menu, and then buy the actual ingredients. They learn many skills this way. You have an added bonus because you are basically the only person influencing what he eats. He doesn't go to school and have several options. Pizza vs. salad bar. Encourage healthy eating habits and activity, and he will learn from your example. Obiviously, he is seeing a change in you, or he wouldn't have asked. I also second, seeing the Dr. for more information.

I don't think you should make it about calories, but rather about nutrition. I was a very overweight child. When I was 12, I was 4'11" and 160 lbs. My mom would count my calories and it made me feel awful about myself. I can still remember one time when my mom caught me bingeing on goldfish crackers and her saying that I "didn't eat like a normal little girl". I know my mom loved me and wanted me to be healthy, but her obsessing over my calories and weight affected my self-esteem and today I still have body image and food issues.

Honestly, the best thing you can do for a child is just buy healthy things for them to eat. Also the fact that he is active helps tremendously. He really is not that overweight. Just cook and buy healthier foods and his weight will be taken care of naturally.

THIS THIS THIS THIS.

I was always overweight when I was growing up, and my parent calorie counted for me. It completely ruined me. I wish I would have been taught more about healthy options, and had more healthy food in the house. Encourage healthy eating habits, and maybe go on walks together. I don't think calorie counting should really come into play. I know it lead me down a dangerous path when I got older.

I don't think you should make it about calories, but rather about nutrition.

Honestly, the best thing you can do for a child is just buy healthy things for them to eat. Also the fact that he is active helps tremendously. He really is not that overweight. Just cook and buy healthier foods and his weight will be taken care of naturally.

^^^^ I came here to post something very similar. This, this, a thousand times THIS!!!!

Teach healthy eating habits, which starts with the food you keep in the house.

Do NOT teach obsessive calorie-counting or try to turn this into anything more than "eat healthy, exercise lots, the rest takes care of itself". That sort of thing is for adults with egos that can take a body blow from time to time and have the maturity to handle it.

My wife and I are both struggling to lose weight, and we've found that our obsessive nature at counting calories is starting to rub off on our 9-year-old, so we don't talk calories at the dinner table any more. Instead, we point out the nutrition in each item, and why it's good to eat lots of this but enjoy that in moderation.

don't have him count calories just swap his afternoon snack with something healthy like a banana (make sure its really ripe) and go for a walk with him a day, make it a scavenger hunt or a obstacle course with different non-food prizes, works every time:)

If it were my child I would do my part to feed him better and encourage him to move more and I'd rely on that method first.

he eats really well (as much so as our budget allows) at home, i make 99.9% of all of our meals from scratch, and make healthy substitutions where allowable. However, its when hes NOT home that trips him up he goes to visit his grandma during school breaks (spring, winter, etc) and she will let him eat 2 boxes of frozen waffles with half a bottle of maple syrup for breakfast, and similar stuff ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY. she has a son that is in high school and is a wrestler and she ALLOWS him to CUT WEIGHT (10 lbs in 4 days) kind of thing, by starving himself and doing extra workouts. She told my son that the foods she gives me (like i listed before) are good for him, and will help him with his weight! i just dont understand (btw, its NOT my mother or my husbands mother -- its my husbands ex-wifes mother) WHY would she do that to him!? my sons mother, aunt, and his grandma are all very much overweight and have a million and one medical problems. what do i say to that when my son comes home and says grandma told me mcdonalds is good for me!?

The solution isn't to have your kids count calories, it lies elsewhere in your relationship with your peers.

My son is 11 , about 5 ft maybe 5'1" and weights 128 . He calls himself fat all the time . Really upsets me .

He holds his weight all around his stomach . I keep telling him he is a growing boy and his body is about
to go through some real changes so to be patient . I have 2 teenage daughters who are gymnasts . Even though
they are girls , it doesnt help that they have probably 5% body fat and are super athletic . I also have a 5 yr old
daughter so he is truly outnumbered in my house! Their father doesnt come around so he already feels insecure, when he has these body image issues it really breaks my heart .

Our Dr said thats its something to be aware of but nothing thats really severe at this age. I encourage him to move
more , he played basketball and is starting baseball this weekend and hopes to play football in the fall, and like
your son, is hoping to be on the younger team. I don't count calories with him but I do explain the effects (affects??)
that certain foods will have on his body and what will give him more energy for longer periods of time.

I don't have all the answers so we look things up A LOT and have even taken books out of the library that are age
appropriate so he understands them better. We will read through them together, and he reads them on his own,

Good luck ! I know as parents its so hard to see our kids struggle with things that we can't create a quick fix to, but you
can instill a really good foundation for healthy nutrition for the rest of his life ! Look at it as an opportunity

Thank you this is kind of what i was worried about. i really dont WANT to count calories for him, as i kind of thought it was unnecessary, but heres another question -- when discussing nutrition with him, should i explain the difference between good fats/bad fats and stuff like that? i should, right? and natural sugars compared to sugars in cereals, etc?

At that age, he's more than smart enough to learn about different fats and different sugars, and an emphasis on ALL things in moderation, including the bad stuff, *in moderation*.

But he's not mature enough to apply the information yet. (Given that I weighed 280 when I was in my 20s, some of us aren't mature enough to apply it when we're ten years older than your son, so don't sweat that too much).

Start giving him the tools to recognize the fact that no foods are inherently "good" or "bad", but some are more healthy than others, and you need a mix of different healthy foods to support yourself, and the occasional and reasonable indulgence in less-healthy foods is not a bad thing at all. Support these lessons by maintaining a healthy diet (age-appropriate - he needs more calories per pound than you do).

And if you are uncomfortable with any of it, don't hesitate to engage a nutritionist, but one who specializes in pediatrics.

this is such a tough question to answer since we dont know your circumstances all too well.

I think seeing a Ped RD would be your best bet. Insurance would likely cover it (if you have it).

Personally, i would hestitate to have him doing mfp or anything w calorie tracking simply bc he is getting to a vulnerable stage of life. Plus, its clear he is already self concious about his size, so he is already showing signs of vulnerbility. Obession and eating disorders is what i would be concerned about.

You do have a one up though, since he is homeschool. Scool foods are far from healthy. And since he stays home, the only food thats going in his body is what you put on the table. So you have quite a bit of control over what goes into his mouth. Obviously, you want to avoid being a helicopter mom, but you do have more input over what he eats than those that attend public/private schools.

I think teaching him to read labels would be fantastic.
I also think proption size is highly important! Proptions can really change outcomes.
Encouraging him to play backyard football w the neighbor kids or riding his bike, walking the dog are all great. Just get him moving for an hour each day. Maybe share that activity with him. He will feel good bc he is exercising (and not reallly noticing since its fun) and he may be more motivated to have you engage in these activities with.

You spoke about blood work.
Has he had his thyroid checked?
If he has, i would specifically ask the doctor for TSH, T3, T4, Free T3s, and Free T4s numbers. The standard has recently changed. They used to say thyroid is normal if TSH is between 0.50 to 5.0 but that has changed! The newer numbers, it should only be 0.50 to 3.0 I personally have thyroid issues and you wouldnt believe the amount of doctors that still go by the older guidlines. these doctors who think they have patients without hypothyroid, are wrong, if they are going by the old standards. so get numbers and be persistant o get it treated if its above 3.0
and if he hasnt been checked for thyroid, get it checked bc all the dieting and exercise in the world isnt going to work properly if thyroid function is low.

I see you're teaching him to eat well, I also wouldn't count calories at this point. However, you mention homeschooling. What type of activities do you do during school that aren't book related? Try to think of something fun for him to do that will give him a reward that isn't focused on his weight. When my son was in the 3rd grade they had a extra time during their day to do something called Mighty Milers. For every X miles they'd get a little dangly foot to put on a key chain. He loved it!

I would give him little challenges here and there that you could incorporate into the school work. If I move X boxes from point A to point C stopping at B how many times would I have to move all those boxes... but have him actually move the boxes.

You could also set up a little competition between the two of you. Like.... how many times each of you use the stairs in the day, or... how many times you can run around the outside of the house in a minute.