Spanking is NOT abuse...

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  • Justjoshin
    Justjoshin Posts: 999 Member
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    Sometimes you just gotta spank it...

    Oh wrong thread?
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    I would never hit a child in any way, personally.

    & how many children do you have exactly?? Mmmm me thinks NONE!!!:mad:

    Russ

    I would never hit MY child either. I never have. Never will.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    Spanking is done in my house as a last resort. It's not a beating. Sometimes, a kid needs a swat on the butt. Simple as that.
  • athensguy
    athensguy Posts: 550
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    The only spankings I remember were undeserved, therefore the primary result was/is resentment. Of course, I think a lot of the stuff like mistrust of science taught to me by my parents is probably highly correlated with those that think hitting your kids is OK.
  • hiker282
    hiker282 Posts: 983 Member
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    IT's true, especially when it's employed whilst enjoying some 'extra curricular nocturnal activity.'
  • jaxCarrie
    jaxCarrie Posts: 214 Member
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    damn, I saw spanking and thought this was a totally different subject
    Lol....I happen to prefer a little of THAT kind of spanking!

    ^^^ Me too!!! I just finished 'Shades of Grey' and have spanking on the mind!
  • badapdos
    badapdos Posts: 132
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    I completely agree! It's a lesson to children and it teaches them to do the right thing. I was spanked multiple times as a child due to misbehaving. Same thing with exercise, pain is gain!
  • runnercheryl
    runnercheryl Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I would never hit a child in any way, personally.

    & how many children do you have exactly?? Mmmm me thinks NONE!!!:mad:

    Russ

    Correct, why?
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Spanking is not abuse - in fact, I asked a police man and he said the same thing.

    That being said, it is not at all effective for my child.



    As far as "adult" spanking goes - yes, please!
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 485 Member
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    I totally agree there is no one size fits all approach to parenting. And like I said earlier, if you choose to not spank thats totally ok with me. My whole point was just that spanking is not the same as abusing a child. It wasnt an attack on anyones parenting style.
  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 922 Member
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    I would never hit a child in any way, personally.

    & how many children do you have exactly?? Mmmm me thinks NONE!!!:mad:

    Russ

    Huh? So someone who wouldn't hit children must not have children? I have 3 of them from ages 8-14 and I have never once hit any of them. And before anyone says anything about how my kids must be "easy" let me just say that my 8 year old is lucky I am her mother (and that her father happens to be just as against spanking as I am) because I know for a fact that in a spanking house she would have been spanked often.
  • ElizaRoche
    ElizaRoche Posts: 2,005 Member
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    damn, I saw spanking and thought this was a totally different subject

    happened to me as well LOL

    But, talking about what this topic is about, I think the same way.. How many times did my dad do that to mecause I didnt want to go to school.. AND that was the reason I changed my mind and I started going again. People have a completely different meaning in head these days, you cant touch your kid at all cause your are abusing him/her.. WTH! Its called discipline!!
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 485 Member
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    People love power.

    You wouldn't spank a random child in the grocery store for calling you an a-hole, right? So why would you treat your own child worse than someone else's? Pooowwweerr.
    Nope...repect. My child will not call me that and not have the issue addressed. Does it have to be thru spanking? No. But if it was a repeated occurnace then yea I would spank my kid for that. It does not have anything to do with power. I just wouldnt care if some random kid in the store respected me...I do care that my child does.
  • carolann_22
    carolann_22 Posts: 364 Member
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    I think a spanking done in anger, even if it's a hand on a bottom, can be abusive. I think that when we lash out at our children and smack them on the bottom because we are angry or hurt or feel wronged, that it can send the message that it's okay to lash out when we feel wronged. On the other hand, if spanking is not done in anger or with emotion attached, but as a consequence (that has already been warned of), directly correlated to the behavior, that is NOT abuse and can be a very effective form of discipline.

    We do spank, only for direct disobedience/defiance, and not in anger, ever. We rarely have to spank anyway, and I have never had either of my older ones think or indicate that the punishment was undeserved or unfair - they accept it as a consequence for their action. That said, it's more effective for some kids than others. My younger son is very empathetic -usually talking to him and having him put himself in the shoes of the person he has wronged is enough to make him feel remorse and seek to make ammends. The older one, not so much.
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    Sometimes you just gotta spank it...

    Oh wrong thread?

    dfgdfgi.jpg

    You can spank me but you cant spank my kid!

    :blushing:
  • icemaiden17_uk
    icemaiden17_uk Posts: 463 Member
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    I agree! Sometimes it is difficult and if the child wont listen a swot on the bum just to remind them that you are the boss is called for! The original post was about a 2year old though and I think just posting spanking was not helpful to the poster! My daughter is 19 months old and sometimes when she does something really dangerous or will not listen no matter what you do we give her a tap on the bum. No shame in that! I would be very ashamed if my daughter grew up to be a terrible person who didn't care about right from wrong though.

    Tough love is still love when done properly!
  • borpy
    borpy Posts: 38
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    When you are thinking about spanking your child you should stop and think about any other situation in which hitting someone would be appropriate. ie. Would you hit your spouse if they did something wrong? Would you hit a coworker? Would you hit a stranger? If it's not okay to hit these people, why is it okay to hit your child?
  • sma83
    sma83 Posts: 485 Member
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    IT's true, especially when it's employed whilst enjoying some 'extra curricular nocturnal activity.'
    I like the way you think! ;) lol
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
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    This is actually more of a legal issue than anything. Spanking, in most states, becomes abusive in the following ways:

    If the age of the child exceeds 10 years (some states lower), as it is consider sexually abusive due to the established usage of spanking as a sexual stimulation tactic, and children of these ages are often old enough to experience sexual arousal.

    If the spanking is any of the following:
    ~Hard enough, with one swat, to leave visible marks such as a red hand print, welt, or bruise
    ~Repeatedly committed to the point of creating marks indicated above
    ~Repeatedly used to the point of causing psychological trauma to the child
    ~When the person doing the spanking uses an object, examples such as the belt, wooden spoons, hair brushes, and shoes

    The psychological community defines appropriate spanking to be in children under 5 older than 1, when done lightly. This is because at this age, children learn through the shock of the situation, not because of any actual pain. However, this same effect can be achieved through non-violent means. One of my professors would suddenly turn his children upside-down. Removing the self-control and ease of surroundings of the child (in other words, causing fear) is the ultimate goal to get them to stop doing things they shouldn't do.

    Personally, I don't agree with hitting children, it is too easy to get out of hand. The memories of that follow you for your whole life... I know from personal experience.

    Ultimately though, I don't care if that's what you choose to do as long as it is within the bounds of the law.
  • Steven
    Steven Posts: 593 MFP Moderator
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    Hi Folks,

    This debate already ran afoul several guideline violations today in another thread, necessitating the thread being removed from the forums. In respect of this guideline:
    6. No Intentionally Hurtful Topics

    Topics which are started with the intent to belittle others, either directly named or through enough descriptive commentary to be possibly identified, are prohibited. This includes stalking a poster through the forums, posting about past events gone sour, divulging personal information, or spreading gossip or rumors. At our discretion, any post referring to the behavior or posts of other users of the site will be removed.

    can we please let this topic rest for today?

    Much obliged,
    Steven
    MyFitnessPal Staff
This discussion has been closed.

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