How do you feel about you (wedding related)?
ChevyChick88
Posts: 356 Member
Hello! This question is intended for bride-to-be's... but, I am more than happy to hear other's opinions too. :happy:
Background - I seriously started my weight loss journey the beginning of this year for a June 2012 wedding. When I started, I was 225. I am only down to 208 at this point in time. I lost about 3 pounds a week last month and this month only 1 to this point. I had several things happen in my life that caused me to gain all that weight and they happened during the engagement time. Most of my life I have struggled with my weight, but came nowhere close to being the size I am now. I was an athlete and muscular.. about 150 - 160. I am just not really sure how I ended up at 225 so close to my wedding and it makes me very sad, mad and dissapointed in myself!
I am really struggling with the fact that I will be a larger bride (very large for me)... Are there any bride-to-be's out there that are in the same place I am? Are you close to your wedding date and at a size you are very unhappy with when you were recently not this size? If so, how are you dealing with this?
I know my man loves me now and loved me at the size I used to be... Problem is that I dont really love my image now and am trying my best to find a way to change my thinking beofre this wedding less than 2 months. I just dont know how and it is impacting the planning and both my fiance and my happiness right now.
Background - I seriously started my weight loss journey the beginning of this year for a June 2012 wedding. When I started, I was 225. I am only down to 208 at this point in time. I lost about 3 pounds a week last month and this month only 1 to this point. I had several things happen in my life that caused me to gain all that weight and they happened during the engagement time. Most of my life I have struggled with my weight, but came nowhere close to being the size I am now. I was an athlete and muscular.. about 150 - 160. I am just not really sure how I ended up at 225 so close to my wedding and it makes me very sad, mad and dissapointed in myself!
I am really struggling with the fact that I will be a larger bride (very large for me)... Are there any bride-to-be's out there that are in the same place I am? Are you close to your wedding date and at a size you are very unhappy with when you were recently not this size? If so, how are you dealing with this?
I know my man loves me now and loved me at the size I used to be... Problem is that I dont really love my image now and am trying my best to find a way to change my thinking beofre this wedding less than 2 months. I just dont know how and it is impacting the planning and both my fiance and my happiness right now.
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Replies
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No one???? I could really use some help here.....0
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I got married July of 2011 and was the heaviest I had been to that point (gaining a few more before I started this journey). We had together for 11 yrs at that point and I had envisioned the day so many times but never at that weight. We planned the whole wedding in about 6 months and I tried to diet at first but truthfully there was such much going on and we were having so much fun it just didn't work out. Long story short I was a size 18 bride but it was still the best day ever. I still looked beautiful in my dress and have only wonderful memories of that day. I do still wish that I had gotten it together long before that day, but I didn't and it is what it is. I do think that will always be the only "before" pictures that I love and will not look back on in disgust bc the day was perfect in every way.
Do what you can but don't stress over it. You will have enough to be stressed about. Most importantly relish every second of that day bc it goes by way too quick. We say all the time we wish we could get married every year as it was so much fun. Congrats and good luck!0 -
Sweetie ... your wedding day is about the two of you committing to a life together. In 5 or 10 or 20 years, it won't matter what you weighed. I'm going to be far from my goal weight when I get married in June but it doesn't matter because every day I am making changes and choices to be healthier. I'm not going to stop after I get married because this is about changing my life ... not fitting into a certain dress size.
You are beautiful and you have been doing a great job...give yourself some credit and stop stressing. Enjoy the fact that you are getting married and that he loves who you ARE, not what you weigh.
Jan0 -
You described me to a T...always an athlete at a muscular 150, then gained weight after college and was at 235 on my wedding day. I've since then lost almost 40 of it, but am still working towards getting healthier so we can start a family.
What I can tell you is that I was constantly worried about being a "big bride" up until the day of my wedding - on that day, all I could think about was how happy I was to be marrying my husband. We had a wonderful day and negative thoughts about my body were not welcomed.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to lose the weight before your big day - you have the rest of your life to lose this weight the healthy way and there's no rush right now. Just do what you can and focus more on preparing to have a partner to share your life with! Spend this time with him and not worrying too much about your body. Easier said than done, but I wish I had done that!0 -
I would say to just do your best and try not to stress yourself out too much, I know its hard to not stress but try your best. Stick to your workout and eating plan and maybe try and push yourself a little harder each day. Just remember that it is about you and your fiance committing to each other and declaring your love for each other, you will look amazing no matter what size you are!0
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Get married, relish your wedding photos and if it ever gets to a point where you can't look at them and recognize yourself, renew your vows and take some more!
You can always wear a pretty white tea cup dress and hit the beach with the hubs for a remake photo session :flowerforyou:0 -
You are going to glow and look beautiful, even if you put on 50 pounds before the ceremony! Your sweetie loves you, and all your family and friends will be there showing their love too. I know it's frustrating working hard and not seeing the numbers you were looking for, but remember, they're just numbers!!
Enjoy this special time in your life and focus on what it's really about - all the sweetness and happiness of love and friendship.
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I'm a bride to be but I luckily noticed my weight gain with enough time to knock it back down and not let myself get to that point. But one thing I have seen a lot of people do is, have your amazing wedding now and feel amazing! Then once you are where you want to be, get a cute little white dress and go renew your vows on a beach or something, that way you can renew your commitment to your hubby and renew your commitment to yourself.0
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I definitely wasn't "where I wanted to be" for our wedding (about 10lbs heavier than I am now), but I can tell you that it really, truly didn't matter. I found a dress I loved and felt beautiful in (and made me look smaller... highly recommend corset back dresses!), and was so happy that day that my weight was the furthest thing from my mind. And THAT'S what comes through in the pictures and THAT'S what I remember.
Best wishes on your wedding and your marriage. You will be a beautiful bride and are ready to start a long, healthhy life with your future H... and that's what matters!0 -
I've seen several friends diet for their wedding and high school reunions. It was not lifestyle-changing dieting. It was lose it, and lose it now. They hv gained the weight back and then some. Maybe approach this as a long term change. I'm slimmer now than my wedding pix. It doesn't much matter later down the line. Embrace ur day, and eat healthfully and go to the gym, and the lbs will eventually fall off for good, not just for now. Deadline dieting is just another opportunity to yo-yo. Good luck, and congratulations on ur big day!0
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Thank you ladies. Sometimes it is just enough to make you feel a little better hearing someone say... "You just described me to a T." I know I am not the only one ever to have this challenge... but, it is hard sometimes to not let it get the best of me!
I love the idea about renewing our vows on the beach when I get to be hott again! :-) Thanks again!!!0 -
I’m also getting married in June and like you am not near my ideal weight... I do think thought that a lot of this pressure that we put on ourselves is because we see lots of photos of beautiful brides aka MODELS advertising wedding dresses and such. I have NEVER seen an unattractive bride the love they have for their fiancé and the new adventure the are starting makes them glow from the inside out! It’s about your love more than anything else. If all that is not enough all I can reccomend is religiously sticking to the plan for the next few weeks –eve a couple pounds makes a difference! . Not sure about you but I have approximately 8 weeks left and I know I won’t be a size 0 in that time but I know that I can look after myself well. Feed my body, strengthen my muscles, tone up, exfoliate, moisturise, drink lots of water, eat my veg, deep condition my hair, look after my nails etc etc etc all the things that add to the general look of health! I would definitely reccomend investing in good hair and make up for the wedding, improved pictures, treat yourself and love yourself!0
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I'm getting married in July. Started this journey, like you, in January. I've lost somewhere in the range of 14 lbs after hitting almost 200 in January. I really had hoped to lose 20-30 by my fitting this month but it doesn't look promising right now. I was always a size 10-11 and now a 16. I want so desperately to be back at least in a 12 but I have my doubts. I guess it's just slow and steady.0
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I got married in August of last year. We got engaged in March of last year and at that point I was also the heaviest I had been at that point. I knew I only had 5 months to lose the amount of weight that I wanted to so I started cutting drastically on my portions and watching the carbs (kept carbs to 80g +/- a day)- never less than 1,200 calories a day though. I also started doing the Insanity workout program (with Shaun T). The pounds came off so fast that by the time I had my bridal shower in June, everyone was commenting on how much weight that I had lost and I wasn't even close to my wedding goal.
By the time I walked down the aisle, I was down 27 pounds. My dress had to be taken in twice which was such a great feeling and I felt like a princess on my wedding day. I never enjoyed working out but when it came to my wedding I was determined and actually started enjoying the daily workouts after a couple of weeks. You can do this.0 -
I'm getting married in October - and by then I hope to have lost a decent amount of weight, however, I will be no where near my goal. Seeing as how I have known my fiancee for just shy of a year, I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS would have predicted I would be on a mission to lose weight for my wedding this year. *shrug* I'm going to be a bigger bride. Willing myself thin isn't going to happen, so accepting it is the only thing I can do. You're going to look beautiful...and your fiancee loves you regardless. Show yourself some love!
And CONGRATS!!0 -
I got married in August of last year. We got engaged in March of last year and at that point I was also the heaviest I had been at that point. I knew I only had 5 months to lose the amount of weight that I wanted to so I started cutting drastically on my portions and watching the carbs (kept carbs to 80g +/- a day)- never less than 1,200 calories a day though. I also started doing the Insanity workout program (with Shaun T). The pounds came off so fast that by the time I had my bridal shower in June, everyone was commenting on how much weight that I had lost and I wasn't even close to my wedding goal.
By the time I walked down the aisle, I was down 27 pounds. My dress had to be taken in twice which was such a great feeling and I felt like a princess on my wedding day. I never enjoyed working out but when it came to my wedding I was determined and actually started enjoying the daily workouts after a couple of weeks. You can do this.
This is awesome! I am trying really hard. I cut calories, eat lots of protein, walk, do Jillians 30 DS, Tae Bo, go to the gym, get plenty of sleep, drink my water. I hope I can get similar results as you did! Thanks for sharing!0 -
Hello Hun,
My wedding is planned for December, and I am currently the heaviest I've been in ages. But honestly, weight is just a number. YOU aren't distinguished by a number - no way at all, and neither am I! My goal is simply to live life, feel good, and be myself --- all while being healthy. Yes, I do need to lose a few pounds here and there to be 'healthy', but that's not going to govern what my big day is going to be like. Enjoy it - this is YOUR day - and your man loves you for what you are, not for what you aren't - the same as for me and my man.
Keep positive...wedding planning is stressful...but you shouldn't take it out on yourself. Find something that you enjoy doing, whether it be yoga, an early morning walk, bike riding, learning some new relaxation techniques --- hey, find some good quality YOU time, and don't let it be hindered with negative self-talk.
I had an eating disorder for a LONG time. And believe you me...what I am saying here is all what I've had to learn and keep learning. I was in a really bad car accident 2.5 years ago and it sent me for a loop - but I have to keep up with "me" time, or I'll simply slide back to my bad habits and disordered ways.
I'm totally sympathetic with you deary, just hang in there, and remember: YOU ARE WORTH IT - FOR WHAT YOU ARE, not for what you wish you were.
:flowerforyou:
xxxxx0 -
First of all, one thing I have learned in my marriage (which has only been for 5 years, so I am not like an expert lol) is that when I am insecure, our relationship stinks. When I am insecure, it is not something I can keep inside and secret. It explodes out of me and makes me angry, jealous, sad, and/or needy. This is not attractive. Especially with my weight, it makes him feel helpless and awkward. When I am confident, I can see my husband is attracted to me. He wants to be around me. I have learned being confident is within my grasp of control. I can control my thoughts and my actions, and I can feel good about myself. It takes work, but it is possible.
As women, we tend to focus way more on the wedding than on the marriage, but this is a huge mistake. Life is too full of variables, and there are a ton of ways your wedding might not meet your expectations. I totally understand why you are focusing on it, I have so been there. But do whatever it takes to shift your mindset from the impending wedding to the impending marriage.
Also, on the bright side, when you are planning a wedding, two months does go by quickly, but in the weight loss world, that is plenty of time to lose around 10 more pounds.
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Hello Hun,
My wedding is planned for December, and I am currently the heaviest I've been in ages. But honestly, weight is just a number. YOU aren't distinguished by a number - no way at all, and neither am I! My goal is simply to live life, feel good, and be myself --- all while being healthy. Yes, I do need to lose a few pounds here and there to be 'healthy', but that's not going to govern what my big day is going to be like. Enjoy it - this is YOUR day - and your man loves you for what you are, not for what you aren't - the same as for me and my man.
Keep positive...wedding planning is stressful...but you shouldn't take it out on yourself. Find something that you enjoy doing, whether it be yoga, an early morning walk, bike riding, learning some new relaxation techniques --- hey, find some good quality YOU time, and don't let it be hindered with negative self-talk.
I had an eating disorder for a LONG time. And believe you me...what I am saying here is all what I've had to learn and keep learning. I was in a really bad car accident 2.5 years ago and it sent me for a loop - but I have to keep up with "me" time, or I'll simply slide back to my bad habits and disordered ways.
I'm totally sympathetic with you deary, just hang in there, and remember: YOU ARE WORTH IT - FOR WHAT YOU ARE, not for what you wish you were.
:flowerforyou:
xxxxx
Thanks... so much! It is nice to hear all your stories. It helps! Thank you for sharing this! Al t his awesome support is making me a little teary eyed! :-) Your outlook and positivity is a great thing and inspiring. I am trying to love me, for me. Congrats to you on your upcoming wedding! I hope it's amazing!0 -
I am a bride-to-be also (September 2012). I feel like this must be something that every bride goes through, as if we don't have enough on our plates (no pun intended)! We realize 6 months before the wedding that we don't look like Megan Fox, stress ourselves out trying to get there, and are disappointed when it doesn't happen overnight. But I think when it comes down to it, on the day of the wedding, our weight will be the last thing on our minds, and looking back we will realize we stressed unnecessarily! As long as we make healthy choices, and marry the man we love, the rest will come! Don't fret, you're going to look beautiful!0
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I'm getting married in 45 days, and I'm just shy of my heaviest weight ever. =( I started back in September trying to loose, but due to a false sense of "healthy" and the OCP I was on, I ballooned instead of dropped the lbs. I've lost 5 lbs in the last month, and am on the way to be about 156lbs for my wedding. This is massive compared to the 130-135lbs I've been for most of our relationship (facking OCP....). I'm desperate to drop the 40lbs to get me to a happy weight for my wedding, but realistically it's not going to happen.
In my hard times of feeling like an orca stuffed into an ivory dress I ask my fiancee if he thinks I'm pretty. His response is always "I don't care if you weight 300lbs, you're still beautiful to me". That's all I care about. My Grandmother in Law can think I'm the fattest thing on the planet, but if the man I love thinks I'm beautiful, then I am pretty. Plain and simple 0 -
I wanna do this^^Get married, relish your wedding photos and if it ever gets to a point where you can't look at them and recognize yourself, renew your vows and take some more!
You can always wear a pretty white tea cup dress and hit the beach with the hubs for a remake photo session :flowerforyou:0 -
Though the wedding is a very special event, it doesn't define the marriage you'll actually have. I've done sessions with so many females who get ready for the wedding because the focus is only on the wedding. The marriage is what's important and how you improve it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Just remember he wants to spend a lifetime with you..... not just one day! Sure it's a very special day and you should just enjoy it. Our daughter's wedding had about everything that could go wrong, go wrong.... waterfront wedding with a hurricane coming through! But it was still wonderful and we had a blast. It works out when you have the right attitude.
I would think your work outs will help you the most right now. Not only will they help you lose weight and tone up but they will help you relieve some of the stress that comes with wedding planning. Let it out and you will feel so much better.
Don't try to plan the wedding all by yourself.... get help, write it all down and try to enjoy it.
I didn't look at your food diary but make sure you are getting at least 1200 net calories a day. Eat some of your exercise calories back. Drink lots of water. You will have events that will have food, just watch portions and don't worry about it. It's a celebration so celebrate.... get back on the horse the next day with your work outs and diet.
In the end.... all that matters is you got married. The rest is just minor details in hind sight. You'll see!0 -
Thank you for the reminder. And, this is what is most important to me by far. I am the luckiest girl in the world to marry this man... that is not the question. But, it is really hard to think that the spotlight will be on me this day... a day I envisioned I would look adn feel beautiful all my life and I may potentially look/feel awful...it's just really hard to think of.Though the wedding is a very special event, it doesn't define the marriage you'll actually have. I've done sessions with so many females who get ready for the wedding because the focus is only on the wedding. The marriage is what's important and how you improve it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Thank you for the reminder. And, this is what is most important to me by far. I am the luckiest girl in the world to marry this man... that is not the question. But, it is really hard to think that the spotlight will be on me this day... a day I envisioned I would look adn feel beautiful all my life and I may potentially look/feel awful...it's just really hard to think of.Though the wedding is a very special event, it doesn't define the marriage you'll actually have. I've done sessions with so many females who get ready for the wedding because the focus is only on the wedding. The marriage is what's important and how you improve it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
So don't think about feeling awful
Easier said then done, but if you keep telling yourself you're beautiful, and focus on the progress you've made instead of what you wanted to make, Your mindset will change. Trust me on that one
*ALL* brides are beautiful on their day. =D It's just a fact 0 -
Though the wedding is a very special event, it doesn't define the marriage you'll actually have. I've done sessions with so many females who get ready for the wedding because the focus is only on the wedding. The marriage is what's important and how you improve it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Thank you for the reminder. And, this is what is most important to me by far. I am the luckiest girl in the world to marry this man... that is not the question. But, it is really hard to think that the spotlight will be on me this day... a day I envisioned I would look adn feel beautiful all my life and I may potentially look/feel awful...it's just really hard to think of.
So don't think about feeling awful Easier said then done, but if you keep telling yourself you're beautiful, and focus on the progress you've made instead of what you wanted to make, Your mindset will change. Trust me on that one
*ALL* brides are beautiful on their day. =D It's just a fact
I am trying... really am. And, the support of all my friends on this site have helped more than any of them will ever know.0 -
I am getting married at the end of this month April 28th and was worried about being bigger, had to get a size 16 dress, but owell... I still look pretty in it and have actually had to stall my weight loss because if I lose anymore weight my dress will be too big. All I can say is all brides are beautiful and if your man loved you at 225... he'll love you no matter your weight... .. that's what I've said... when I look back at pictures of how big I was at 242 and that's when my fiance and I started dating I'm like wow he must love me to have gone for that.. LOL You'll be fine, as a bride to be I can tell you we are sensitive to everything the closer it gets to the wedding... You'll be beautiful!!!0
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I am getting married at the end of this month April 28th and was worried about being bigger, had to get a size 16 dress, but owell... I still look pretty in it and have actually had to stall my weight loss because if I lose anymore weight my dress will be too big. All I can say is all brides are beautiful and if your man loved you at 225... he'll love you no matter your weight... .. that's what I've said... when I look back at pictures of how big I was at 242 and that's when my fiance and I started dating I'm like wow he must love me to have gone for that.. LOL You'll be fine, as a bride to be I can tell you we are sensitive to everything the closer it gets to the wedding... You'll be beautiful!!!
Omg... I think you are right about the sensitivity part. This is crazy and I hope it does not get any worse! :grumble: :laugh: Thanks for the support and btw - love your tat! Congrats on your wedding... it's on my engagement pic day.0 -
Every bride is beautiful, no matter what size she is. You know why? Because she glows with happiness and it really shows! You could be perfectly spherical and still look marvellous on your wedding day. I've seen skinny brides, voluptuous brides and very large brides and they all looked spectacular on their Big Day. And in every case, their new husbands looked like they couldn't believe how lucky they were to get marrying such a gorgeous creature.
OK, so you might not be the size you want to be on your wedding day, but I can pretty much guarantee that every woman worries about her weight in the run up to her wedding - even if she's a size 0, she'll be obsessing that her thighs are dimpled or her cheeks look chubby or her butt is a little rounder or her boobs are too big/small, or her belly is protuding more than usual.
The fact is, nobody else notices - all anyone else sees is a beautiful woman on what is one of the happiest days of her life. You will have a magical day regardless, and everyone will look at your wedding album and remark how radient you looked, how your eyes sparkled, how they'd never seen your smile so wide.
You're going to have a wonderful wedding, but the wedding is only one day to look back on as a happy memory, because it just symbolises a new beginning - a new life together where you and your partner are as one, and the rest of the marriage is what is more important. Same goes for your life in general - it's one day, but you have thousands of other days to look forward to, and what you do with them is entirely up to you.
So please don't fret about not being the weight you want to be by the time your wedding day comes around. I know it's easy to say that and not so easy to do, but believe me, it's better to enjoy the day for what it is.
I wish you and your beloved a wonderfully happy life together - and a magical wedding day!
PS If you don't believe me about how happiness makes you beautiful regardless, go look at some pictures of women who have literally just given birth and are holding their babies. They are sweaty, their hair is frazzled, they have no makeup on and they're exhausted, but they look amazingly beautiful because they are so wonderfully happy! And that's with a wobbly post-birth belly on them too! 0
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