How do you feel about you (wedding related)?
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My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for 5.5, and in that time I have gained (slowly and steadily) 70 lb. He loves me no matter what, but my most recent committment to getting back to a healthy weight is for our child, future children, and staying healthy so that our marriage lasts forever instead of one of us dying prematurely because of health issues. We are both at risk for HBP, diabetes, heart disease, etc. b/c of our obesity, so we're making a commitment together to get back to a healthy weight.
I have not been "skinny" since before meeting my husband, so I know that like you and your fiance, our love is based on so much more than physical appearance. I think that what stands out to me most in your post is that this man loves you no matter what, so focusing on that is the key to being happy on your wedding day...nothing else matters and you will be beautiful no matter what!!!
I was 200lbs and in a size 18 dress on my wedding day. To avoid paying for alterations, I had several, um, supportive garments under the dress and I went on a crash no-carb diet for about 3 weeks before the date to be sure I felt good on the day. I lost about 8 pounds and looked fantastic on that day. You don't have to be skinny to be beautiful...I looked and felt beautiful, and that was what was so great. (Also, we had a delicious buffet at an Italian restaurant for our reception and I FEASTED on pasta and Italian bread.)
I understand how you feel now, I felt similar, but just continue working on your healthy lifestyle and remember that you've done a great job with your loss so far and 1 pound a month is still a wonderfully healthy weight loss. I don't recommend crash-dieting for lifestyle changes, but if you want to cut carbs and drink only water the last 2 weeks as kind of a pre-wedding "cleanse", you can do that and still be healthy. Just adopt a clean eating program for a couple of weeks and you will look and feel slimmer on that day without totally wrecking your body. I know this is counterintuitive to most of the advice given by experts and members here, but bottom line is it's one of the most special days you will have in life, and YOU need to feel happy and beautiful that day!0 -
I am right there with you! I am the largest I have ever been (pregnancy and then BC issues contribute to it) I was really hoping to be near my goal for the wedding but was having some issues with my Mirena. Aside from other health issues the most noticeable was continued weight GAIN even though I was logging and exercising.
I had it removed 2 1/2ish months ago and started losing again. I am down 2 pant sizes since my fiance proposed. (the fact that he proposed to me at my heaviest helps fight the depressing feelings away)
Of course I wish I were smaller on my wedding day (at least closer to what is "normal" for me) but I am trying to enjoy it and realize that my soon to be hubby loves me no matter what and will think I am beautiful.
I am planning on working a play on words about loving through "thick" and thin into my vows, since he obviously loves me through it all.
Just try to change your mindset. Tell yourself this is a journey and you are smaller than you were a month ago and will continue that pattern until you are at your goal. When you look back on the wedding pics you'll know that your husband has already loved you through the "thick" of it all. :flowerforyou:0 -
Every bride is beautiful, no matter what size she is. You know why? Because she glows with happiness and it really shows! You could be perfectly spherical and still look marvellous on your wedding day. I've seen skinny brides, voluptuous brides and very large brides and they all looked spectacular on their Big Day. And in every case, their new husbands looked like they couldn't believe how lucky they were to get marrying such a gorgeous creature.
OK, so you might not be the size you want to be on your wedding day, but I can pretty much guarantee that every woman worries about her weight in the run up to her wedding - even if she's a size 0, she'll be obsessing that her thighs are dimpled or her cheeks look chubby or her butt is a little rounder or her boobs are too big/small, or her belly is protuding more than usual.
The fact is, nobody else notices - all anyone else sees is a beautiful woman on what is one of the happiest days of her life. You will have a magical day regardless, and everyone will look at your wedding album and remark how radient you looked, how your eyes sparkled, how they'd never seen your smile so wide.
You're going to have a wonderful wedding, but the wedding is only one day to look back on as a happy memory, because it just symbolises a new beginning - a new life together where you and your partner are as one, and the rest of the marriage is what is more important. Same goes for your life in general - it's one day, but you have thousands of other days to look forward to, and what you do with them is entirely up to you.
So please don't fret about not being the weight you want to be by the time your wedding day comes around. I know it's easy to say that and not so easy to do, but believe me, it's better to enjoy the day for what it is.
I wish you and your beloved a wonderfully happy life together - and a magical wedding day!
PS If you don't believe me about how happiness makes you beautiful regardless, go look at some pictures of women who have literally just given birth and are holding their babies. They are sweaty, their hair is frazzled, they have no makeup on and they're exhausted, but they look amazingly beautiful because they are so wonderfully happy! And that's with a wobbly post-birth belly on them too!
Perfectly said!! :drinker: :flowerforyou:0 -
I am getting married at the end of this month April 28th and was worried about being bigger, had to get a size 16 dress, but owell... I still look pretty in it and have actually had to stall my weight loss because if I lose anymore weight my dress will be too big. All I can say is all brides are beautiful and if your man loved you at 225... he'll love you no matter your weight... .. that's what I've said... when I look back at pictures of how big I was at 242 and that's when my fiance and I started dating I'm like wow he must love me to have gone for that.. LOL You'll be fine, as a bride to be I can tell you we are sensitive to everything the closer it gets to the wedding... You'll be beautiful!!!
Omg... I think you are right about the sensitivity part. This is crazy and I hope it does not get any worse! :grumble: :laugh: Thanks for the support and btw - love your tat! Congrats on your wedding... it's on my engagement pic day.
Oh goodness, I am so glad to hear this is what other people are going through. I have been paranoid I am pregnant because I have been so sensitive.0 -
I got married in 2010 and was heavier than my usual maintenance weight. Thing is, people still seemed to think I was beautiful, and when I look back at the pictures, I see myself (a heavier version of myself, but still me) just radiating happiness and love, and I see love and awe in my husband's eyes, and that's all that matters! Besides, how many people get to brag that they can't fit into their wedding dress because it's too big? 0
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I am getting married in August and like you, started on this journey in January as I did not want to spend my day feeling like I am not enjoying it because I am concious of my weight the whole time.
I have managed to lose weight but not nearly enough!. I have put off getting my dress made as I refuse to admit that this is the size I will be on my big day. I feel that it is focusing me alright but I feel under so much pressure (self-inflicted of course) to reach at least twice what I have lost between January and now. I am also holding off on getting my ring finger sized for this reason.
Although I am still going to try to stay strong, I am really struggling this month and feel like just packing it all in lately tbh. I really want to stay focussed but it is HARD!!!
I envisaged planning your wedding to be fun and exciting but I am just putting everything off until I succeed. I feel I have hit a plateau at the moment and that I will never move on the scales to the point that I want to be 168lbs. I started at 215 (the heaviest I have ever been) and am now 188.5.
I am just going to try my best and try not to be seriously disappointed by the time I have to give in to my dress making
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I'm getting married in a week and a half (I can't believe it's so soon!), and I'm not where I would like to be either. I've been working really hard to lose since last June, way before I even got engaged, but for whatever reason my body is just letting the weight go SUPER slowly, no matter what I eat or how hard I work out. I'd wanted to be at 175 at least by our wedding day, but it looks like I'll be around 195, despite all my hard work.
It's disappointing for sure, but even though I won't be at my ideal weight I know I will still be happy and feel beautiful. I'm proud of the work I've done so far to get where I am right now, I am crazy in love with my man, I bought a dress that makes me feel like a princess, and I have a lady doing my make-up who made me feel pretty already during the trial run-through.
I may not look exactly how I thought I'd look, but I know that my happiness will shine through any insecurities that day. After all, I'm marrying the best man in the world for me -- what could be better than that? 0 -
I went through this exact same thing. I was married July 2011. I knew for over a year I was getting married, and for some reason I could never motivate myself to lose any weight.. As much as it saddened me, I would go on a diet for a few days and quit. I even googled big brides on the internet to see if any of them looked good. I searched for an ideal dress for a big girl, and I did my best. I guess the truth is that even if you are not the size you wish you were, be happy in the skin your in. So your bigger, but your also beautiful, and you will be so happy and you will feel beautiful no matter the size. I promise. I was a bigger bride too, but you know what? I worked it!! Congrats, I hope its all you hoped for and more!0
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october 2 here.
i have less than six months until my wedding. i started mfp last august to get more fit, to learn some healthy ways to lose and maintain. so far i lost 14 and gained 7 back from that 14. my only real goal, so far, is that i didn't want to gain all 14 back during the winter months (i hate the cold and don't stay very active during the winter months).
it's been a yo-yoing effect with my ability to stay on track, though. some days great, other days not so great.
i've started being better equipped at making healthier eating decisions, work-out regimines, and self-control. i'm sorry that you're weight-loss goal isn't being met thus far, but the tools we're all learning here and all of the support from friends will be what matters in the long run - not what size you are during your wedding.
i know it's easy for some people to say this - it's all true - but.... you have this image in your mind of what you want and what you want to look like. focus on your long-term goal instead. i have the same worries about myself and about not meeting this "ideal" body image by my wedding day, but..... he met me at my current weight, he loves me now regardless of my size, and he makes me happy. if i have to get a larger dress, i will.
ultimately, i'll meet my goals for a healther me and so will you.
congratulations on your upcoming wedding - you are beautiful!0 -
Every bride is beautiful, no matter what size she is. You know why? Because she glows with happiness and it really shows! You could be perfectly spherical and still look marvellous on your wedding day. I've seen skinny brides, voluptuous brides and very large brides and they all looked spectacular on their Big Day. And in every case, their new husbands looked like they couldn't believe how lucky they were to get marrying such a gorgeous creature.
OK, so you might not be the size you want to be on your wedding day, but I can pretty much guarantee that every woman worries about her weight in the run up to her wedding - even if she's a size 0, she'll be obsessing that her thighs are dimpled or her cheeks look chubby or her butt is a little rounder or her boobs are too big/small, or her belly is protuding more than usual.
The fact is, nobody else notices - all anyone else sees is a beautiful woman on what is one of the happiest days of her life. You will have a magical day regardless, and everyone will look at your wedding album and remark how radient you looked, how your eyes sparkled, how they'd never seen your smile so wide.
You're going to have a wonderful wedding, but the wedding is only one day to look back on as a happy memory, because it just symbolises a new beginning - a new life together where you and your partner are as one, and the rest of the marriage is what is more important. Same goes for your life in general - it's one day, but you have thousands of other days to look forward to, and what you do with them is entirely up to you.
So please don't fret about not being the weight you want to be by the time your wedding day comes around. I know it's easy to say that and not so easy to do, but believe me, it's better to enjoy the day for what it is.
I wish you and your beloved a wonderfully happy life together - and a magical wedding day!
PS If you don't believe me about how happiness makes you beautiful regardless, go look at some pictures of women who have literally just given birth and are holding their babies. They are sweaty, their hair is frazzled, they have no makeup on and they're exhausted, but they look amazingly beautiful because they are so wonderfully happy! And that's with a wobbly post-birth belly on them too!
This totally makes sense... and I believe you are right and that I will be beautiful in my own way no matter my size. Thanks for sharing.0 -
If you really want to keep things in perspective. This is Tara Lynn. She's a french model and I'd venture to say she looks about 500 times hotter than any Victoria's Secret model... She's a 14/16 and the most gorgeous kind of curvy. She's beautiful not just for her looks but because she radiates confidence. One of my role models
versus these VS models. Well, I feel like no matter what fabric they wear it would just fall off. No need to find clothes when you can shop in the kids section!
I mean...c'mon :laugh:0 -
I can relate. I was on here last year at this time trying to lose weight for my wedding in September. I already had my dress bought and I guess because my life style with my husband changed and I wasn't eating as clean, wasn't working out, etc. my weight went up quite a bit. I too was disappointed in myself as I did not get where I wanted to be. I was freaked out about my dress not fitting and it was the perfect dress for me. The month before my wedding I really worked out, cut my processed foods, cut my alcohol intake and I was happy with my results. Not as happy as if I would have been a few sizes smaller - lol. I did have to have my dress let out - but only in the chest - which could have been worse. My wedding day was perfect - my pictures are wonderful. So don't let the stress get to you too much. Take whatever time you have and really hit it hard and then let it go and have a great wedding! If I knew how to post a picture on here I would show you my pics. Oh - also, get a wrap like two days before your wedding. I did - it really made a difference.0
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I am right there with you! I am the largest I have ever been (pregnancy and then BC issues contribute to it) I was really hoping to be near my goal for the wedding but was having some issues with my Mirena. Aside from other health issues the most noticeable was continued weight GAIN even though I was logging and exercising.
I had it removed 2 1/2ish months ago and started losing again. I am down 2 pant sizes since my fiance proposed. (the fact that he proposed to me at my heaviest helps fight the depressing feelings away)
Of course I wish I were smaller on my wedding day (at least closer to what is "normal" for me) but I am trying to enjoy it and realize that my soon to be hubby loves me no matter what and will think I am beautiful.
I am planning on working a play on words about loving through "thick" and thin into my vows, since he obviously loves me through it all.
Just try to change your mindset. Tell yourself this is a journey and you are smaller than you were a month ago and will continue that pattern until you are at your goal. When you look back on the wedding pics you'll know that your husband has already loved you through the "thick" of it all. :flowerforyou:
Awesome that you found a solution to help you get to where you are looking to be! And, congrats on your upcoming wedding! I just love the fact that your man proposed suring a time that you were a little down and that helped to lift you up. It's sooo nice to know you (and I) have a good man! YAY!!! I also love the idea about adding that into your vows -- very creative!0 -
I am getting married at the end of this month April 28th and was worried about being bigger, had to get a size 16 dress, but owell... I still look pretty in it and have actually had to stall my weight loss because if I lose anymore weight my dress will be too big. All I can say is all brides are beautiful and if your man loved you at 225... he'll love you no matter your weight... .. that's what I've said... when I look back at pictures of how big I was at 242 and that's when my fiance and I started dating I'm like wow he must love me to have gone for that.. LOL You'll be fine, as a bride to be I can tell you we are sensitive to everything the closer it gets to the wedding... You'll be beautiful!!!
Omg... I think you are right about the sensitivity part. This is crazy and I hope it does not get any worse! :grumble: :laugh: Thanks for the support and btw - love your tat! Congrats on your wedding... it's on my engagement pic day.
Oh goodness, I am so glad to hear this is what other people are going through. I have been paranoid I am pregnant because I have been so sensitive.
Oh no...... Kinda seems like it though, huh?0 -
I got married in 2010 and was heavier than my usual maintenance weight. Thing is, people still seemed to think I was beautiful, and when I look back at the pictures, I see myself (a heavier version of myself, but still me) just radiating happiness and love, and I see love and awe in my husband's eyes, and that's all that matters! Besides, how many people get to brag that they can't fit into their wedding dress because it's too big?
Hey... thats a nice way to think about it. :laugh:0 -
Also, if you are shopping for dresses at David's Bridal...please don't get discouraged about the "size". Their sizes are wonky!
My little sister is a size 0 and had to order size 2. My mom was depressed because she ordered a dress in her street size (an 8 I think) and they had to let it out a little bit. I've been having to console the two skinny minny's in my family because I knew going in that the number was going to be about 2 sizes higher than my street size.
Luckily I had been a bridesmaid 3 times and was accustomed to their unfair sizes. When I was a size 10 I had to order a 12 or 14 in their dresses.
So just keep that in mind. The number on the tag DOES NOT matter. What matters is how you feel in the dress. :flowerforyou:0 -
Wow girl... you are doing a great job to come that far already. I am sorry that you are hurting over this because I know how bad that feels. I wish you tons of luck in getting closer to where you will be happy. Congrats, too!!I am getting married in August and like you, started on this journey in January as I did not want to spend my day feeling like I am not enjoying it because I am concious of my weight the whole time.
I have managed to lose weight but not nearly enough!. I have put off getting my dress made as I refuse to admit that this is the size I will be on my big day. I feel that it is focusing me alright but I feel under so much pressure (self-inflicted of course) to reach at least twice what I have lost between January and now. I am also holding off on getting my ring finger sized for this reason.
Although I am still going to try to stay strong, I am really struggling this month and feel like just packing it all in lately tbh. I really want to stay focussed but it is HARD!!!
I envisaged planning your wedding to be fun and exciting but I am just putting everything off until I succeed. I feel I have hit a plateau at the moment and that I will never move on the scales to the point that I want to be 168lbs. I started at 215 (the heaviest I have ever been) and am now 188.5.
I am just going to try my best and try not to be seriously disappointed by the time I have to give in to my dress making0 -
I'm getting married in June. I gained 15 pounds of previous weight loss back when I started dating my fiance, then joined MFP in January. I was focused on getting and staying fit long before I met my fiance, so the wedding is not as much the goal, but of course I still want to look amazing.
The great thing about wedding dresses is that the right style can be incredibly forgiving. I got one that is flowy on the bottom so there is no chance I will be self conscious about my biggest problem areas. Maybe instead of focusing on your weight you can focus on certain areas that you are concerned about, like toning up the arms and back if that's an issue. Feeling strong makes me feel more confident and beautiful. If the scale is stressing you out right now, set some different goals. Wedding planning is stress enough, you don't need to add more stress about your weight.
A few years ago I was my best friend's maid of honor, and I was at or near my heaviest. I was so happy for her, and had a good dress, and I felt beautiful. I can only imagine how much more so when I'm the one getting married. You will look and feel beautiful. Period.0 -
I am deffinetly reading and taking to heart each response. I may not get to respond to each individually, but I wanted to tell you all that sharing your words, stories and advice mean a lot to me! It is helping me to try and see things in a new light and nice to hear I am not alone! And..... Congrats to all of you other bride-to-be's! Thanks bunches!!! :flowerforyou:0
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Im getting married in August and have gained 30 lbs since I met my husband to be 2 years ago. It totally crept up on me and I was in denial about it. I weighed myself a few days ago and realized I weigh just as much as he does and am 3 dress sizes bigger than I used to be! Not ok in my book. I was never "thin" but was definitely in the healthy range until recently. I feel your pain. Looking at bridal mags and sites and seeing all these thin gorgeous women in the dress of your dreams and thinking "that won't look good on me because I'm not a size 6 anymore..." I'm now on the road to weight loss but it is hard to stay motivated, especially with the wedding planning stress!! BUT all you can do is take it one day at a time, remind yourself how much better you will feel when you have lost even a little bit of weight, and reward yourself when you stick to your diet. Actually, take it one MEAL at a time. Never think about how you have to do this for a few months, you will burn out quickly if you do.
Oh and do not go extreme about it. I'm a grad student in nutrition and one of the biggest mistakes people make it dieting to the extreme. Never eat less than your BMR, otherwise your body will begin consuming your lean muscle and that is the last thing you want. So 2 lbs of fat loss a week is pretty much the most you can swing and still be healthy and sustain a diet. Thats my advice to you!0 -
I got married in August of last year. We got engaged in March of last year and at that point I was also the heaviest I had been at that point. I knew I only had 5 months to lose the amount of weight that I wanted to so I started cutting drastically on my portions and watching the carbs (kept carbs to 80g +/- a day)- never less than 1,200 calories a day though. I also started doing the Insanity workout program (with Shaun T). The pounds came off so fast that by the time I had my bridal shower in June, everyone was commenting on how much weight that I had lost and I wasn't even close to my wedding goal.
By the time I walked down the aisle, I was down 27 pounds. My dress had to be taken in twice which was such a great feeling and I felt like a princess on my wedding day. I never enjoyed working out but when it came to my wedding I was determined and actually started enjoying the daily workouts after a couple of weeks. You can do this.
This is awesome! I am trying really hard. I cut calories, eat lots of protein, walk, do Jillians 30 DS, Tae Bo, go to the gym, get plenty of sleep, drink my water. I hope I can get similar results as you did! Thanks for sharing!
Anytime! So glad I could help! It sounds like you're on a great track! All the best to you!0 -
It doesn't matter what you weigh. On that day, everyone is going to think you're the most beautiful person in the room. When you put the dress on and are all ready to go, I bet you'll feel beautiful. I hope you will, anyway.0
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I am getting married soon too and am not happy with my weight. However, I know that my fiancee loves me for me and that as long as you are happy with who you are marrying, your weight should not matter.
That being said, having a healthy lifestyle up to the wedding date and past that should help you get a little closer to that goal. Just try not to give in to the temptation of crash dieting just to be a certain size. You are a very pretty girl and will look gorgeous on your big day whether you have lost 20 pounds or gained 20.
Congrats!0 -
You described me to a T...always an athlete at a muscular 150, then gained weight after college and was at 235 on my wedding day. I've since then lost almost 40 of it, but am still working towards getting healthier so we can start a family.
What I can tell you is that I was constantly worried about being a "big bride" up until the day of my wedding - on that day, all I could think about was how happy I was to be marrying my husband. We had a wonderful day and negative thoughts about my body were not welcomed.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to lose the weight before your big day - you have the rest of your life to lose this weight the healthy way and there's no rush right now. Just do what you can and focus more on preparing to have a partner to share your life with! Spend this time with him and not worrying too much about your body. Easier said than done, but I wish I had done that!
Agreed!! I worried non-stop about how I was going to look on my wedding day and I worked hard to lose weight but still only made it down to 197 for my wedding day (started at 240 when I was very very sick from food allergies). I had envisioned being somewhere more like 160 for my wedding day, but I didn't even come close.
However, I felt more beautiful than ever before that day and all I thought about as well was how happy I was to be marrying someone who loved and accepted me no matter what I looked like. I think you should continue to focus on doing your best, but DO NOT beat yourself up if you don't lose a huge amount of weight. You are doing an amazing job and you will look absolutely stunning your big day no matter what the scale says!!
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Awwww..... I'm so glad we are already friends!!!! :flowerforyou:You described me to a T...always an athlete at a muscular 150, then gained weight after college and was at 235 on my wedding day. I've since then lost almost 40 of it, but am still working towards getting healthier so we can start a family.
What I can tell you is that I was constantly worried about being a "big bride" up until the day of my wedding - on that day, all I could think about was how happy I was to be marrying my husband. We had a wonderful day and negative thoughts about my body were not welcomed.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to lose the weight before your big day - you have the rest of your life to lose this weight the healthy way and there's no rush right now. Just do what you can and focus more on preparing to have a partner to share your life with! Spend this time with him and not worrying too much about your body. Easier said than done, but I wish I had done that!
Agreed!! I worried non-stop about how I was going to look on my wedding day and I worked hard to lose weight but still only made it down to 197 for my wedding day (started at 240 when I was very very sick from food allergies). I had envisioned being somewhere more like 160 for my wedding day, but I didn't even come close.
However, I felt more beautiful than ever before that day and all I thought about as well was how happy I was to be marrying someone who loved and accepted me no matter what I looked like. I think you should continue to focus on doing your best, but DO NOT beat yourself up if you don't lose a huge amount of weight. You are doing an amazing job and you will look absolutely stunning your big day no matter what the scale says!!0 -
I got married almost six years ago to a wonderful man who has loved me, very thick and nearly thin. If you'd like to see a pic of my wedding day, I uploaded one into my photos. (Feel free to add me as a friend, too, if you'd like!) On my wedding day I weighed 163 pounds...certainly not my ideal weight, but that's about what I weighed when my husband and I first met. Even though I was not "thin" or "skinny" or even as fit as I'd like to have been on my wedding day, I found the perfect dress (STRAPLESS! Couldn't believe that one, I am HUGE on top!) and felt beautiful. That feeling is rare for me, truthfully.
As long as you are marrying a man who loves you no matter what you weigh, you're golden. Get healthy for you and your future, and try not to worry about how you'll look in wedding photos. It's only one day, and you'll have so many more days and photos together over your lifetime. :flowerforyou:0 -
I uploaded a pic of my wedding day in my profile too. Not where I wanted to be on weight - but it was still the best day of my life and I love all my pictures. My husband called me his blond bombshell when he saw me in my dress for the first time.0
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On my wedding day I was 212(and I am short). To be honest my weight never crossed my mind that day. I love my wedding photos! I am down about 20lbs since then but I still think they look great and I felt great. No matter where your weight is on your wedding day you feel amazing!0
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I was a "big" bride but I felt beautiful. I loved my dress, my hair and makeup was perfect, my body wasn't but I didn't focus on that and I enjoyed all the attention! Please try not to focus on how bad you feel about your body. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more you will eat all the wrong foods! It will take an opposite effect. Focus more on trying to lose weight, i.e. if that is what you want to do? to help you feel a bit better on your wedding day. It is all in the mind. Change the thoughts in your mind. Good luck for your day and I'm sure you'll look beautiful anyway!0
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