Worried I won't like the new me?

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TeachTheGirl
TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
in Motivation and Support
I guess this is just rambling, but I don't remember having ever been my goal weight (and if I did, it must have been so long ago that I don't remember what it's like) and I think I'm a little bit afraid of reaching it just in case I don't like the new me.

Does anyone else share this fear?

Replies

  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,136 Member
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    I do. I was probably 135-140# when I was 10.
  • PineappleMartini
    PineappleMartini Posts: 54 Member
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    I do. I was probably 135-140# when I was 10.

    Yep. I was about the same.

    I'm worried about it too, but I've learned to love myself as I am. I think knowing that I will learn to love the new me with each step. I do always seem to hit a block around 180 lbs where I can't get past it mentally. I'd like this time to be the time I get past it. My end all goal is only 175 lbs so we'll see how that goes.
  • WhitneyT586
    WhitneyT586 Posts: 279 Member
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    I do. But I have a lot to lose. I think that it will be an adventure. It's gonna be kinda cool to see what I will look like 100 pounds lighter. Heck, 25 pounds down and I'm enjoying it already.
  • jkfe
    jkfe Posts: 3
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    Congrats to all on the weight loss. Over the past few years I managed to lose and keep off 50 lbs. I have been fortunate to have friends who have been very encouraging and like the new me. My spouse however is a different story. He preferred the old me rather than the new one. It's sad to think that someone who is supposed to be supportive of you is not happy when you get healthy and they are not.
  • eatrightfeelright
    eatrightfeelright Posts: 2
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    I have this fear too. So much. It always kinda lingers in the back of my mind during weight-loss. I've been over my goal weight since 3rd grade. I've found that focusing on 2wks at a time helps. I try not to even worry or think about the end-result, just today and whether or not I am making progress toward that next goal. I try to keep my mind off of the end result bc fear is something that holds me back, I think it holds us all back. Just remember, fearing the worst is natural, but whatever you do, don't let it stop you from knowing your best self.

    I have finally put my foot down to stop doubting myself. When I begin a thought with "If I lose this weight.." I immediately change it to "When I lose this weight.." Bc I'm going to do it, fears or no fears. The 2wk goals make it less scary and less of a struggle for me to overcome the fears and doubts I have. They seem smaller and more manageable. Decide that you are going to do it. Commit to it and tell yourself over and over again that there's no going back until you reach that ultimate goal. Then you can decide if you have something to be afraid of. Just make sure you give yourself a chance first. Find a way to put the fear out of your mind. Even if you hate the way you look and want to gain the weight back, at least you will know without a doubt where you are most comfortable and happiest. And you will have confidence and pride knowing that you can overcome the self-doubt that we all experience!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    In the end, you need to remember, and truly believe, that this is the best thing you can do for YOURSELF. Although you may look in the mirror a few times and think 'Hey, who's that?', it will probably be followed 'She's pretty hot.'
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    My spouse however is a different story. He preferred the old me rather than the new one. It's sad to think that someone who is supposed to be supportive of you is not happy when you get healthy and they are not.

    Oh my gosh, how horrid for you! I'm so sorry he's not supportive of your choices. =(

    I'm really hoping I look the way my head thinks I will, but I worry about the tummy pouch and looking awkward. I guess I'm one of those people who needs outside validation to tell me that I look okay? 'cause otherwise I generally think I look pretty plain!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    You could always gain the weight back if you don't like it...
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Well, if you don't like the PERSON you are now, you won't like the person you are at any weight. If that's what you mean.... hopefully as you gain health and assurance that you can reach your goals, you gain the confidence needed to accept yourself either way.
  • schulermomof3boys
    schulermomof3boys Posts: 17
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    I kinda feel like that!! I only have about 18-19 more pounds to lose to reach my goal weight!! Its pretty much all in my belly from having kids. (I didnt gain anywhere else). But because i am trying to lose so fast, i am losing my butt, belly, and chest. I for one love my butt and chest, but if they have to go to lose my belly, i think im okay with that change! I just hope that i dont lose all the weight, and regret it because of how i might look!
  • Collidoscopekid
    Collidoscopekid Posts: 195 Member
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    Honestly I worry about this all the time. I've always been a big girl. I can't remember weighing any less than 165 pounds, even though I am above that right now. I say my goal weight is 130 but honestly I have no idea when I will be happy with my body. For all I know it could be 150, 130, or even 120. I just can't imagine a me weighing less than 165 pounds. I've just decided no matter what I look like with my new body, I am going to be proud of it because I know I will have worked damn hard to get it.
  • Andrea_McQ
    Andrea_McQ Posts: 56 Member
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    I feel the same way Collidoscopekid, I don't remember being lower than my current 178 and have no idea what my goal weight is so have initially set it at 144 as that will put me in the bmi category of "normal" - I'll see when I get there what seems to fit me best. I'm also hoping that I won't be a different person, just more comfortable in my own skin and some more confidence would be great for me as I've always been very shy.

    For now, I'm concentrating on how it feels - I feel better in lots of small ways. I feel healthier in myself from making better choices in my food. My jeans were falling off me, I got a smaller size and the last few days THEY are feeling loose! My legs are stronger, I can lift my little girl and my baby more easily and can even throw my 3yo around now so her giggles make me feel great. I know I look a bit smaller because others have commented, but I don't see it (yet!) as much as feel it.

    I'm only half way, or thereabouts, but already I'm so very very glad that I finally got the kick up the proverbial that I needed to get going!

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