If you could have a lover OR a FWB

Tiggerrick
Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
in Chit-Chat
Which would it be, and why? Those are your two options only.


A lover is a person that receives more than just sex. They receive words of affirmation, kindness, caresses, cuddling, kisses, and everything that centers on and around those feelings and acts. The ‘love’ portion of a relationship. A lover is only marginally involved in your entire life. You may discuss a few things here and there, but it’s mostly about making each other feel good.

A FWB is a person that, while you MIGHT hang out once in a while, you will only call on for sex – the physical aspect of it. This person will not get upset if you don’t call them for days, but will always be a willing participant (as long as it works for both of you) for the physical. There is very little cuddling and no need for words of affirmation.

edited for definitions.
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Replies

  • NurseCarolyn2014
    NurseCarolyn2014 Posts: 142
    Which would it be, and why? Those are your two options only.

    You didn't answer this yourself....
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    FWB - cause i've got a husband for the lover. i could get a girl for the FWB and have all my needs met! :smooched:
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 664 Member
    aren't they the same things lol
  • shannoninBC
    shannoninBC Posts: 345 Member
    aren't they the same things lol

    Yah lol
    Either one sounds good to me
  • MrsSassyPants
    MrsSassyPants Posts: 223 Member
    A lover! Absolutely!
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    A lover requires more time and energy.

    An FWB is quick

    They are both just one call away.
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 664 Member
    I can't have a FWB if i can't do some of those other things sure i can do the deed but its kinda boring without some of the other fun ... doesn't mean you have to love them but to "F" someone you at least have to care or be wasted :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    A lover is a person that receives more than just sex.

    They receive words of affirmation, kindness, caresses, cuddling, kisses, and everything that centers on and around those feelings and acts.

    The ‘love’ portion of a relationship..

    This is what I would want if I had to choose between a "lover" and a "FWB" (by your definition)
  • yepitsjen
    yepitsjen Posts: 79 Member
    I'd totally take the FWB. I don't have the time or energy for the other stuff.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    from TFLN: "I told him he was essentially a very life-like dil** with a person attached, so he had to stop having feelings because it is getting really annoying. He agreed."
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    A LOVAR

    willferrell04.jpg
  • DAM_Fine
    DAM_Fine Posts: 1,227 Member
    I'll take a lover, with all the pleasure and all the pain it implies. The other is just exercise.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    Now that I've thought more about it, I think I can honestly say that, if I had to choose, it would still be a lover.

    I would prefer a lover of my soul/heart over a lover of a my body. I can live without sex, I can please myself in that sense. But cannot live without someone who loves ME for ME, someone I can love For THEM.
  • lisakyle_11
    lisakyle_11 Posts: 420 Member
    a Lover... by your definition.
  • hypallage
    hypallage Posts: 624 Member
    I had both.....the FWB is far easier & much less complicated.....
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Which would it be, and why? Those are your two options only.

    You didn't answer this yourself....
    I've had both, and at different times of my life each one has had their merits. Right now, out of those 2 choices, I would choose LOVER.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    FWB - cause i've got a husband for the lover. i could get a girl for the FWB and have all my needs met! :smooched:

    ^^ This. :smile:
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    I have both at the same time, so no way I'd settle for one OR the other. :wink:
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    A lover is a person that receives more than just sex. They receive words of affirmation, kindness, caresses, cuddling, kisses, and everything that centers on and around those feelings and acts. The ‘love’ portion of a relationship. A lover is only marginally involved in your entire life. You may discuss a few things here and there, but it’s mostly about making each other feel good.
    Does not make sense. You can't have LOVE without the person being involved in your life. You're still just talking about sex.
    A FWB is a person that, while you MIGHT hang out once in a while, you will only call on for sex – the physical aspect of it. This person will not get upset if you don’t call them for days, but will always be a willing participant (as long as it works for both of you) for the physical. There is very little cuddling and no need for words of affirmation.
    Also does not make sense. What you are describing is benefits only, no friendship involved.

    What you are really asking here is: would you rather have someone you use for sex, or someone you use for sex who is also very romantic?
  • SnakeDarling
    SnakeDarling Posts: 352 Member
    Lover.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    I prefer a CSP, but it never fails that one person gets attached to the other.
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    A Lover
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    FWB. Now to get him to agree!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    a lover, with a deeper connection...
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Is this not counting our husband/wife at home?? Because my husband would count as my lover.

    So then I'd want a FWB... cake and eat it too and all that.
  • Loko_Ino
    Loko_Ino Posts: 544 Member
    FWB FTW
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    I think a FWB.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    I'll take the lover, and then role play/dress up/fantasize, etc. to make if feel like a FWB. Best of both worlds.
  • yepitsjen
    yepitsjen Posts: 79 Member
    I prefer a CSP, but it never fails that one person gets attached to the other.

    This. Since my divorce, I have had several FWB's- and I'm fine with that. I keep finding that the other person wants to become more and more engaged in my day to day life. I frankly don't have time for that and so tend to break it off and cause hurt feelings- even when I am very clear up front about what I'm looking for...
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    I'd say lover would be better than FWB. I think the FWB situation rarely works out. Often times someone falls in love, someone gets hurt, feelings develop. I'm sure it works *sometimes* but as a general rule... I doubt it.

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