Kids: Should they get involved?

wally1uk · April 2012

Hi,

I'm a parent of two wonderful kids aged 8 & 6. My wife and I are losing weight and counting cals here on MFP. We are also exercising and I'm pleased to say I've lost over 30lbs already

Anyhoo...I am currently on Week 6 run 3 of C25K and going to the gym as often as I can. The only thing is my kids are getting really involved too. My little girl, 8, has asked if she can come running with me and my little lad happily tells me all the claories, fat, sugar etc in all the foods we eat

I'm just a little worried though...my kids are both healthy, perfect weight and (apart from my boy who is a proper fussy eater) they eat a healthy well balanced diet, even my lad likes fruit!!

I'm just concerned that I do not want them obsessing about their weight and fitness. On one hand I am pleased that they are getting involved and want to become more so and I'm happy to educate them on healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle as I'm learing too...but I do not want them to develop some kind of obsession or god forbid, a eating disorder down the line.

Don't get me wrong, over easter they were still average kids and hoovered up easter eggs like the world was gonna end tomorrow which I was happy to let happen, it's easter after all! They have plenty of treats and eat lots of things that are currently off my and my wifes menu, for example they are having Pizza tonight!!

But I'm not sure that kids so young should be worrying about this kind of thing, or setting out on fitness regimes religiously.

So I guess the question is: Should I let them get involved and treat the whole thing as a good education exercise that will do them good in later years? Or am I setting them up for being overly obsessive about there own bodies when they grow up?

The last thing I want is for them to miss out on anything because of the choices that my wife and I are making.

HELP!!!

jennifer783 · April 2012

I guess my only advice is, if you guys aren't "obsessed" neither will they be....and they will develop healthy habits early rather than catching up like the rest of us, lol.

We don't have a special "diet" we are doing....just making healthy changes that we all can enjoy. Exercising has become a regular routine, rather than a "need to get off 5 lbs for a wedding." And we are always open with our communication. Healthy eating and exercise are a couple of ways we can help take care of our bodies. Healthy bodies have more energy, focus and less sickness.

I think that just by worrying/noticing, you are already part of the solution to keeping them from developing bad habits early. Great job! :flowerforyou:

frankiesats · April 2012

My cousin takes her 2 year old girl and 5 year old boy to the gym creche up to five times a week. The kids go swimming, the boy plays golf and they understand that mummy and daddy have to work out to be healthy - both parents were very over weight to start with. They questioned why they didn't order chinese food any more and when explained they now tell people 'we don't eat chinese food any more because its not healthy'.

They make a conscious effort to give them treats like McDonalds to show them it can be part of your diet just you can't have it every day!

Make sure you tell your children how beautiful they are and how healthy they are and they won't have any issues. Encouraging an active lifestyle is something that many parents don't do enough - so many children are over weight and just sat in front of dvd and video games so congratulations!

Just keep those kids reassured at how perfect they are and they'll grow up just fine

karenjoy · April 2012

I think healthy lifestyles,and knowledge are the most important thing here, and if you are not obsessing yourselves, why would the children? They will learn great habits, be healthy and have great time running with you, learning about food and just spending a ton of quality time with mum and dad.

Worry not, just make sure you and your wife focus on health and not loss, even if you are losing, don't mention that bit, call it healthy and not dieting, its a lifestyle change for you all.

Well done x

cramernh · April 2012

In a new age of technology: gaming systems, cell phones, facebook, etc... the one thing kids dont do is get active... Id say, if the kids like going for walks and runs with you guys, then encourage it! Stay active! Make it a family collaboration! Clearly exercise is something kids dont get enough of in general (especially most schools UGH!)...

As long as they perceive the exercise as something fun to do, thats half the battle solved right there

mwilke · April 2012

I think that if you let them go along on your exercises, it's wonderful. I think you are teaching by example. As far as the counting calories, not so sure about that one. Maybe explain to them the reason you are doing it. I think they are old enough to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy, but explain that right now they don't need to worry about it, because you- as the parent- are looking out for their eating. I think if you put it in the light of making healthy choices , and getting treats too, that they will not obsess later on because they will have the educational foundation that you set forth.

kd_mazur · April 2012

I Think its great that they are interested in leving a healthy lifestyle. I know that personally, I am here so that I can teach my 6 yr old good habits that she can use for the rest of her life. my hope is that by teaching her the right way now she will not be in a place where she will ever need tto drop a significant amount of weight in the future.:flowerforyou:

naomi8888 · April 2012

I think this is a really hard one. Could you maybe try to make a chart of their 2 fruit and 5 veg and they can tick them off each day?

Focus on which vitamins and minerals are in certain foods rather than calories. Remember they are not "good" or "bad" foods but "sometimes" foods (well, according to Sesame Street).

You said the kids are wanting to exercise and that's great but focus on achieving the distance not the calories burned or anything.

Anyway just my two cents (and I do have a 10 year old daughter)

amkelley · April 2012

You are teaching them how to live a healthy life....I would not be too concerned. Counting calories could be turned into math lessons. Discussing miles walked/ran could be math lessons, too. Not ot mention the life lessons they are learning in what is healthy food and healthy living. And youre allowing them to endulge in treats and sweets when appropriate, too. So enjoy the time with your kids!

mmstgr · April 2012

My kids are also young. 7&4.
In no way would I want them reading the nutrition labels on foods.
It's not their responsibility to look at that. It's mine.
As long as there are healthy choices for them in the house, they eat well.
And they don't exercise. They play.
They don't need to know that we have all these corrections to make in our lives. They just need to have fun and be kids.
Keep the healthy food choices for them, and let them know that some foods are treats that we have only sometimes.
Keep them active with play.

I'm sure you're doing an excellent job, and your children seem very bright.
Children pick up on everything we do. Just don't be obsessive, and they won't be either

fourluvbugs · April 2012

My kids are doing the same. I think its natural for them to want to do what their parents do.... my 4 yo weighs her food on occasion, my 6 yo is constantly reading nutrition labels and my 8 yo runs on the treadmill and is looking forward to running outside with me when I get back to outside.

I've fielded questions about calories lately as well and I explained what calories are and that I am paying attention to them because I want to make sure my body is getting the right amount and the right kind of fuel. Teaching them about health is great! Just make sure you are teaching them to strive for a healthy diet and lifestyle rather than to obsess about losing weight. My kids are weighing themselves far too often, but that, unfortunately, is modeled off of me as well.

monkeymomof3 · April 2012

All of my kids have seen me counting calories, and measuring portions, etc....the only time it was embarrasing was when my 5yo turned down a ho ho as an after baseball treat because of the calories (to another parent who had brought the snack). I reinforce to my kids all the time that everything is fine in moderation. We eat healthy, well balanced meals the majority of the time. But we have also gone to Cold Stone for dinner instead (once - they loved it

)....Both of my boys run with me on occassion. My 5yo can run a 10 minute mile. 8 yo can do 2 miles...It's fun, they get to spend time with me doing something good for us, we run it at their pace, walk if they need to, etc. They also like to do yoga with me

I don't think there is anything wrong with it! I'm not openly obsessed so neither are they. They're just learning good habits....I would just make sure everything is balanced with what your children are seeing....and then I don't see an issue with it at all.

marticapitt · April 2012

That's fantastic! Healthy living SHOULD be a family thing. As you reach your goals you'll be teaching them about moderation too - a treat is fine as a treat - not as a food group! Exercising and being fit doesn't have to mean losing weight - for them. Talking to their pediatrician will ease your concerns and he/she can help guide on how to keep them well-balanced.

dezi718 · April 2012

I have also had these concerns with my two boys, ages 2 and 6. Not so much the 2 year old right now, but my 6 year old has become pretty involved in my weigh loss process. I honestly don't think you can help it much. I just make sure to tell him that mommy is trying to get healthy, and i try really hard not to use words like fat or skinny. I make sure that he knows he's perfect the way he is. He loves to "excercise" with me and get on my elliptical (supervised of course) for a couple of mins at a time. This part I feel is a good thing. I wish my parents had gotten me in to excercise at an early age b/c then maybe I wouldn't be in the situation I am now.

Schraudt814 · April 2012

On the contrary, it seems based on what you have described that more parents should be taking a page out of your book! I don't think you need to worry about them becoming "obsessed" with weight or fitness...it sounds to me as though you are creating a wonderful balance in showing them that being healthy is not a jail sentence by allowing them treats. In the long run you are providing them with knowledge and, even better, it's something to do as a family which is SO important! Keep it up that's amazing and I hope to establish the same habits with my kids when I have them!

SafireBleu · April 2012

I think as long as your focus is on being healthy and strong and not on being skinny and the focus is not on fat then they learn that the important part is to be healthy and strong. Healthy is strong is what I want my kids to be. I take my 11 yr old out running with me. We started C25K this week. He likes it. It will help him for when he is playing football. It is perfectly normal for your DD to want to go out with you running and TBH I'd let her try it even if it means going back to week1 day 1. Nothing wrong with kids being fit. The focus should not be on being skinny though. I think that sends the wrong message. They need to see you eating full healthy meals not starving yourself with 1200 calories or less a day. Know what I mean. If they see you eat a full plate of protein and veggies and occasionally indulging o chocolate or ice cream they learn these things are ok in moderation. They also learn that it is important to exercise and eat healthy foods and to be aware of what they eat. That is my opinion at least. My kids are all eating healthier. DD is snacking on carrots and celery as well as cookies. DS is running with me and my LO harasses me to do my exercise so I can get strong like he is. Our focus is on being healthy and strong and they are into it.

beckyinma · April 2012

My advice would be to start teaching them how to cook healthy meals now. They are prime age to start working with you in the kitchen, and they WANT to help, so encourage them. Show them early and often how EASY it is to create tasty healthy meals. This is an invaluable lesson, and you've read it as many times as me on the success stories, "I never learned/knew how to eat healthy because nobody taught me, so when I went out on my own, I had no idea what to do and resorted to junk food and fast food every day, became more sedentary and gained all this weight."

Teaching your kids how to be independently healthy is really the best way to go IMO.

That and teaching them ways to exercise that doesn't cost money when they're living in a cheap apartment and can't afford a gym...

Take the calorie counting out of it. It doesn't matter for them right now, and will only make them obsessed.

Dauntlessness · April 2012

Yes, its great! I would focus on healthy food and exercise but keep the "weight loss talk" between you and your wife.
It is perfectly okay for kids to get really involved in sports and what kind of food they eat.

As far as having them do the same exercises as you, I would look into finding a adult/children gym or a place like the YMCA that offers programs to either 1) send them off to an age appropriate class while you work out or 2) Child/parent classes such as swimming that is fun but you both to exercise together.

I would focus on what kind of food, not the portion sizes. Growing kids are going to have days when they are like bottomless pits and days when they don't have any appetite. They need the extra calories sometimes, we all have seen the growth spurts they have. Healthy eating when they are young sets them up for a healthier lifestyle down the road. Let them choose what to eat every once in a while too. Once a week order that pizza or Chinese food.

Finding a "balance" is the lesson they should learn from you. It really seems that you got that covered. I also think that if you took the time to post this topic, you are already being a good parent and making yourself aware of how it may impact your kids.

Good for you!

Julialee123 · April 2012

I think you are doing great! Its education. Teaching them to make good healthy food choices and having treats in moderation. My son, age 6, told me the other day I should eat a banana because it is healthy and didn't have too many calories in it. I thought the same thing, oh no, now he will be worrying about calories! But really it is about healthy choices. No reason not to start early. As long as my kids don't hear me talking about how fat I look in this or butt is to big in this.... I tell them I am eating healthier and exercising because I want to be healthy and live a long life and be able to play tag longer.

I think you are doing just fine! And the fact that you are aware of the situation is great.

Tennybird · April 2012

I think it is awesome for kids to be involved. However I stopped talking about calories in front of my kids. We talk about if the food is healthy or non-healthy. I don't want my kids to be obsessed with calories and at the ages of 4 and 7 they shouldn't be. Also there are some foods high in calories, but good for you (nuts) and some low in calories, but bad for you (Diet Soda). They both enjoy being active and exercising, and I'm not going to discourage that at all.

wally1uk · April 2012

Thanks everyone! Your reassurance is a big help!!

I do encourage my kids to cook with me, although our diet has changed quite a lot!! I am a bit of a home cook and love trying new recipes...think that was half my original problem

I think a lot of people on here are right, perhaps I have spoke to much about weight, as at the moment that is my focus, but I think I will shift the focus, at least for my kids sake, onto health and strength. I guess I'm just a bit over protective about some things and worry too much!! I just don't want my daughter especially (sorry if that's sexist, it's just you hear more about girls with eating disorders than lads, though I'm sure they suffer too) being too hung up about being the perfect barbie type model, you know?

I must agree with one post on here that I wish my parents had educated me a bit more about being healthy, but to be honest, my parents had it pretty rough when I was growing up, so I can't blame them for anything as they always did their best for me...and still do!!

Thanks for the support folks....your amazing as always!! Keep your comments coming, it's always great to get a broad spectrum of views

Andy

aewalk07 · April 2012

I say let them get involved. It will be a great learning experience for them. My sister in law has four kids, those kids are so active they just did a triathlon. I think re-enforcing to your kids that they are healthy that they don't need to lose weight, but living a healthy lifestyle will help them maintain their healthy weight. They will use the tools you give them for life. I wish my parents had done this with me. I played soccer and ran track but not until I was a sophomore in high school, and it was because I wanted to do it. They never pushed me. I was healthy then, but after kids I gained weight. and here I am. I think you are on the right track for their own success later in life. They will remember and know good foods, and exercise.

RachelsReboot · April 2012

Well I am probably going to go against the grain here. I haven't read most of the posts and my kids are a little bit older. While you already know the answer on the activity part, I do NOT think it's bad for children to learn now how to read nutrition labels and learn what is healthy and what is not. I take my kids grocery shopping with me, and while they eat 70% of what I do, since my diet is so restrictive, I want THEM to pick the rest of what they eat and I want them to make sound nutritional choices. My daughter will pick apples and peanut butter over fruit roll ups or some other snack any day, not because I've told her to but because she is learning to make better choices. I don't think you will make them obsessive, I think you will make them conscious and healthy. Look at the way kids eat now, and the way a lot of parents eat. It's because they don't know any different, they weren't taught. The earlier they learn something the more it will stick in their mind. You have the opportunity now, while they are young to teach them valuable information that they will carry on to the ages where they start to make their own choices, why would you pass that up?

MelanieAG05 · April 2012

I think what you are doing is right and the fact that you are aware of any potential "obsession" you are less likely to let that happen to your kids. I think it is great for kids to become involved in exercising with parents as long as they see it as fun! I have a 5 year old son and he has just learned to cycle his bike with no stabilisers. He cycles and I run and he loves it - especially when I can't keep up with him lol.

Kids: Should they get involved?

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