My mum hinders my weightloss!!

mischa_12 · April 2012

I'm trying to eat a lot healthier now and lose a few pounds but it is impossible living in the house I do. My mother expects me to make dinner every night for herself and the family but she never wants to eat anything I want. She is very thin and doesn't need to lose weight...I think it's extremely selfish of her to think I should be the one making the meals EVERY night.

There's never any compromising either, she's not open to anything new at all and I'm tired of it. I so badly want to be healthy but how can I when I have to make their meals (which is usually very high in calories). I don't want to have to cook 2 seperate meals, there is way too much cleaning up and it's just too hard.

Luckily I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a couple of weeks so I'll have a lot more freedom to eat what I want but in the meantime I'm just so frustrated! She doesn't need to lose weight and therefore she wants me to make them fattening meals...How do you ever get through to someone this stubborn?

nesstle · April 2012

really, you want to eat healthy, but dont want to clean up?!
A simple easy meal thats healthy is Chicken breast 12grms, put in tinfoil/aluminium, put in oven for 20 mins. this will steam the chicken and requires no added oil. The only clean up is putting the foil in the rubbish. Add some veges, do these by putting them in a microwavable bowl add water and cook for a couple minutes.

Clean up - rubbish in bin, vege bowl. and plate and cutlery for dinner.

Easy.

Stop making excuses

melaniecheeks · April 2012

I think that's a bit unfair - she didnt say she didnt want to clean up, just that making 2 meals creates twice as much mess! Which I get.

In our house we have a rule that if someone cooks, someone else does the clearing up, rather than it all falling to one person all the time. Alternatively, take turns at preparing meals. I do think it's unreasonable for your Mum not to get involved in the meal preparation at all.

Are there any meals lthat could suit you all - baked potatoes with a variety of fillings?

But if its a temporary situation - I'd just make the best of it for a few weeks.

kitinboots · April 2012

I agree with the one person cooks, another cleans up system. That's what we do.
My boyfriend is a fussy eater with a fast metabolism. I've learned ways to cook one meal for the two of us. Roast chicken is a good one, as I cook it with roast potatoes and vegetables. I fill my plate half full with veggies and give him just a couple, he gets mostly roast potatoes and then he can eat as much of the chicken and its skin as he likes while I just have the breast meat.
Or I make chicken fajitas and I'll have one small tortilla, lots of salad and a reasonable portion of filling, while he wraps up 3 fajitas containing mostly meat, cheese and sour cream.
He can only cook a couple of different things, one of them being pork cooked in salt and butter. If he cooks that then I get him to microwave me some frozen veggies instead of the mashed potato, and I make sure I've earned some extra calories that day. If he makes spaghetti bolognaise I can either have the sauce over brown rice or a very small amount of pasta with yet again a side of veggies.
I prefer to be the one cooking as that means I have control of what goes into the meal. 1 tbsp oil rather than 3. Just a dash of salt and I put the shaker on the table.

Sidesteal · April 2012

You probably wont enjoy reading this:

You are not required to eat what they eat.

If your stumbling block is having to clean up because you have to prepare yourself something different, you're in for a very rough ride.

Sl1ghtly · April 2012

"Parent just don't understand" -Will Smith

ccarre81 · April 2012

My suggestion... check out skinnytaste.com and ask your mom to pick a few recipes from there. She would have some say in what you're making and you'll get to eat healthier.

ElizabethRoad · April 2012

What's she going to do if you make what you want instead of what she wants? Anyway, you can tough it out for a couple of weeks.

britexmom · April 2012

for the sake of the few weeks you have left living there can you just eat a salad w/the meat, or light version canned soup. there are many ways to make a lighter meal out of the main dish...i do this daily since i cooking for myself , dh and 3 kids. some nights i have the same dinner as them and skip the potato or rice and double up on veg, other nights i might just do a salad (always keep some cooked chicken or shrimp in fridge to throw on top). or you could make up a dish for yourself that will last several meals....you just have to plan ahead

good luck.

Sarasari · April 2012

I am probably going to get attacked for saying this,but if you are the one making the meals make what you want. If they don't like it they can eat something else. I would think of it as a bonus. If they were cooking,you would either have to eat the high fat meal,or end up cooking for yourself anyway. Maybe they can add stuff to your healthy meals? Like if you make steamed broccoli for you,they can add cheese to theirs?

rides4sanity · April 2012

I cook for my family and most of the time they don't notice when I adjust the resipes to make them more healthy, but there are times when they want the full fat/carb/whatever versions. Here is how I handle it...I set aside a portion without sauce/butter/whatever for myself, then finish their meals the way they like and finish mine with a few spices for flavor.

Example: They want spaghetti with italian sauage marinara and garlic bread, and they really don't care for wheat or veggie based pasta. I make a basic sauce which is low cal, then set aside a portion for me before adding the pan fried italian sauage (saved me about 200 cals) then I do cook two separate types of pasta, boiling water isn't that hard and its an easy clean (saved another 200 cals and controled my potion size). Serve with salad and garlic bread. I eat a big salad, small pasta and generally skip the bread.

Example: Taco night, I skip the flours/shells and serve mine as a salad we use spinach rather than lettuce on our tacos. All the same ingredients, just put together differently.

We can't control others choices, but we do control our own. If eating healthy is a priority, you find a way to do it. Good luck.

melaniecheeks · April 2012

Having had a look at your diary and profile, I wonder if the problem is slightly different:

You're at 119 lbs looking to get to 112 - does Mum perhaps think that you don't need to lose weight? I can see where she might be coming from here, and as I mother myself, I'd be concerned.

Also looking at your diary, you are quite often well under your calorie goal - maybe your not recording everything, or maybe you're obsessing about calories, and this is being misinterpreted by your family as being "too fussy"

MassiveDelta · April 2012

Throw her from the train

lsapphire · April 2012

Try substituting things of lower/healthier versions in the recipe so she won't know LOL. Otherwise take the opportunity of moving out as a new beginning and start planning now. Good luck

babigurl86 · April 2012

I cook for my family and most of the time they don't notice when I adjust the resipes to make them more healthy, but there are times when they want the full fat/carb/whatever versions. Here is how I handle it...I set aside a portion without sauce/butter/whatever for myself, then finish their meals the way they like and finish mine with a few spices for flavor.

Example: They want spaghetti with italian sauage marinara and garlic bread, and they really don't care for wheat or veggie based pasta. I make a basic sauce which is low cal, then set aside a portion for me before adding the pan fried italian sauage (saved me about 200 cals) then I do cook two separate types of pasta, boiling water isn't that hard and its an easy clean (saved another 200 cals and controled my potion size). Serve with salad and garlic bread. I eat a big salad, small pasta and generally skip the bread.

Example: Taco night, I skip the flours/shells and serve mine as a salad we use spinach rather than lettuce on our tacos. All the same ingredients, just put together differently.

We can't control others choices, but we do control our own. If eating healthy is a priority, you find a way to do it. Good luck.

i do this-4 kids hubby always want different things,even from each other .

Princess_Sameen · April 2012

I cook three seperate meals in my house! one for my diet, one for my mum has she has to avoid alot of food for health reasons and a third for my siblings (they dont like spice) Yeah it is hard work but I want to lose weight so will do what ever ti takes.

but as your moving out not really worth worrying about it

sfernan432 · April 2012

I cook for myself, my husband and, our little girl 16 year old. I got lucky because they both love veggies, but my husband gets bored with chicken breast while my kid and I can eat it for days. If my husband wants something that's not healthy I'll snack on veggies or something then when it comes time to eat I'll eat a very small portion and fill up on water. But a tip for you as you cook wash the dishes you are done that way they wont be stacked up by the time you are done cooking. I do the exact same thing cause I have to cook and clean up afterwards.

NikkiPsuedoDupuis · April 2012

I work full time and finding time to cook and clean once I get home is tough. There are "lazy" ways to eat healthy though lol.

Frozen Fish Filet + frozen veggies + cubed potato in foil and baked is really quick and easy

leannems · April 2012

If you're only going to be there a few more weeks - cook what you want, and pretend that it is unhealthy. I do this routinely when company comes over. They think they're getting cheesy casseroles, but it's actually made with low fat cheese, soy products, and a ton of veggies. Or cook a healthy meal, and then dump cheese, bacon and fatty sauces all over theirs, while you eat well.

I also do a lot of weekend cooking to get through the week. You could make your meals on the weekend, and then cook crap for them during the week. Heck, if I were you, I might try to make them the world's most fattening meals while eating my healthy pre-cooked stuff. You'd lose, they'd gain.

Not a nice sentiment, but I might end up doing it anyway.

_Elemenopee_ · April 2012

I am probably going to get attacked for saying this,but if you are the one making the meals make what you want. If they don't like it they can eat something else. I would think of it as a bonus. If they were cooking,you would either have to eat the high fat meal,or end up cooking for yourself anyway. Maybe they can add stuff to your healthy meals? Like if you make steamed broccoli for you,they can add cheese to theirs?

^^This.

YOU'RE the one cooking. In fact, why wait the few weeks? Why not leave now?
Not to pry (too late) but what would happen if you were to cook what you wanted? Would they starve? Throw you out? "Force" you to cook what they wanted? I obviously don't know the whole situation but I was NEVER able to take orders and OBEY like that. We lived together and made decisions together. I moved out on my own at 21 and my mom actually moved in with me shortly after..My roof, my rules and all that but there was no need. Where is the respect?

_Elemenopee_ · April 2012

Having had a look at your diary and profile, I wonder if the problem is slightly different:

You're at 119 lbs looking to get to 112 - does Mum perhaps think that you don't need to lose weight? I can see where she might be coming from here, and as I mother myself, I'd be concerned.

Also looking at your diary, you are quite often well under your calorie goal - maybe your not recording everything, or maybe you're obsessing about calories, and this is being misinterpreted by your family as being "too fussy"

This could be it too. We don't know the whole story...not that we need to.

kitinboots · April 2012

Having had a look at your diary and profile, I wonder if the problem is slightly different:

You're at 119 lbs looking to get to 112 - does Mum perhaps think that you don't need to lose weight? I can see where she might be coming from here, and as I mother myself, I'd be concerned.

Also looking at your diary, you are quite often well under your calorie goal - maybe your not recording everything, or maybe you're obsessing about calories, and this is being misinterpreted by your family as being "too fussy"

We don't know how tall she is...

suziecue66 · April 2012

Are you paying rent - maybe cooking every night is your contribution? It's weird though at 25 years of age your mother can force you to cook dinner every night. She should be doing some cooking. You wrote that you were an obese child was this because of the type of food your mum gave you?

My mum hinders my weightloss!!

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