I'm a failure
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you like chocalate, i've switched to raw cacao beans. if you suck on them like they are a hard candy there is almost a buttery wine flavor. additionally, i've put some in hot water and it is almost like a mild chocalate tea.
its taken me over 2 years to make any actual progress on my weight goals, but the little things i noticed and changed during that time have made it possible to finally make progress in the last 3 months (just 10 pounds)
just keep learning and you will find what works for you. build on your small successes too.
there is always a tendency to focus on the negative, but more importantly you need to congratulate yourself every day on the things you've done that were better than the day before.
the most important plan is one that works for you, and it sounds like you are paying attention.
if you can work with a nutritionist, they may have 'medical food' that could help with some of your needs. i was on a medical powder for one meal a day for two months. i didnt lose much, but my blood tests showed it was a positive change.0 -
Piffle.So I am a failure, I can't add up properly and so log my weight wrong, I can't eat healthy food, I can't excercise, I can't get back the figure I once had, as I can't see me losing the weight I need to. I think all of that amounts to me being a failure, and I am feeling mighty fed up.
Sorry- I don't expect responses as there is nothing to say, but thank you for letting me moan on here. My husband is amazing, and when I tell him all of this, he just tells me he love me as I am, and he doesn't think I am overweight- which is lovely of him, but I am not happy as I am, and I don't know what to do about it.
You are not a failure until you've given up, and you wouldn't have posted this if you'd already given up.
- You will be able to find healthy foods you can eat.
For example, I don't think you said if dairy was out, and some people who can't do dairy as such can eat yogurt just fine. I can't eat whole eggs (an allergy), but I can and do eat egg whites just fine. Soups, purees might get you veggies you can tolerate; and boiling or baking may help veggies too. Mashed carrots and baked tomatoes are both very tasty.
- You will find a way to exercise.
Maybe just five minutes of stretching at first. Or a short (10-15 minute) gentle yoga DVD. Or something. (And you don't *have* to figure this out right now.)
- You will get back to a figure you can be happy with.
You're not going to get back to quite the figure you once had, just like you're never going to be 19 again. But you can get back to a very nice figure at a healthy weight and with strong, toned muscles on a body as healthy as you can make it.
- You don't have to be able to see yourself losing all the weight you need to.
Not right now, anyways. All you have to do is see yourself eating healthy for today, and then do the same again tomorrow.
- And you don't have be able to add things up.
There are lots of things I can't do (singing and having children being two among them*). But I'm pretty good at math - please feel free to PM me any MFP-related math questions you have, and I'll be happy to do the arithematic for you.
Your husband sounds like a wonderful guy, and you have two lovely children. You've survived health problems that some might not have, and you're still able & willing to sing.
Doesn't sound like one bit of a failure to me.
(*Edited to add: I'm also just one of those people who never really wanted children, although I love it when other people who do want children have them. So when I found out that it was medically not something I could do, it only closed a door I'd never planned to walk through anyway. It's not really something I miss.)0 -
I have changed how I eat, and even on 'bad' days I am never as bad as I was everyday before I started on MFP.
This is a complete WIN. You can only fail if you stop trying and you certainly don't sound like someone who just gives up.
With all that you have been through you need to be a bit kinder to yourself, a bit more patient (I'm still learning this one myself) and focus on the positives that you have achieved instead of the odd negative.
1. You have come through what has obviously been a major health battle
2. You have beautiful children who love you
3. You have a supportive husband who also loves you
4. You obviously keep a clean and healthy house
5. You have started to make changes in your life to be a healthier you
That's just the short list, I am sure if you thought about it you could write a much longer one0 -
Shut up! I mean it! Let me talk for a second. You have been to hell and back with health problems, yet you stay on your feet to be a good Mum to your kids. That is the sign of a tough woman. You are not a failure, you are a shining example of perseverance and courage.
Now, go out and buy yourself a tape measure and throw that damned scale in the trash. Try measuring yourself instead. I know what size I want to be in clothing. I strive for that, not some number on a scale.
Instead of exercise that hurts you, take a look at this website: http://blog.stretching.name/ The stretches can be done anywhere, anytime. There are a super way to get a workout and you can even mediate as you do them.
Like you, I am not able to exercise like most people. I have rheumatoid arthritis. So, instead of bouncing and pulling, I stretch. I also go up and down the stairs a lot. Admittedly, it is slowly up and down, but I get it done everyday. Since veggies and such are out of the question, is it possible to have a juice instead? Maybe you can try it that way.
In the meantime, take a deep breath and relax. On this board you will find good people who help each other reach goals. For me it has been a major source of comfort. My husband died less than three months ago and besides the great help with tracking my food, I have been able to talk to others. Their support has been invaluable and I am moving forward.
Hang in there with us...you are not a failure. I don't surround myself with people who fail. My circle is for people who are trying their darnedest to do their best. All that really counts in this life is that...all the rest is b.s.0 -
Read her words carefully. There is a lot of value to what she says. Good luck to you.0
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Oh my goodness, you lovely, lovely people- thank you all so much. I honestly didn't expect replies, I am stranger who doesn't contribute to your community (would like to, but never feel I have worthwhile advice to offer, but will try harder). I was being rather cheeky posting on here, but figured you could all ignore me, and I would feel better just letting it all out- so, to come on today and see all the responses, I actually had leaky eyes- honestly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you all.
I have read each of your responses, but at the same time the baby was exploring my eyes and nostrels with his very pointy pokey fingers, so after bath time (his not mine) I am going to read them all properly, with a notebook to write down all of your advice, and then I will come back and reply properly. I had to post this straight away as I am so overwhelmed and grateful to you all.
Yay (Cheers theme tune gradually being replaced with the 'friends' theme tune (o; )
Thank you, will be back soon x0 -
No one gets it right all the time. And if you're still trying, you haven't failed yet. You've learned a few things, and now you can use them to do better.
To a few of your specific points... although a salad can be a good way to increase your vegetable intake, if you don't like them or can't eat too much at a time or raw, there are other ways. When I started tracking, one thing I found was that I was actually eating more vegetables than I'd thought. Especially if you make your own food, there are many ways to add more vegetables... add some lettuce, basil or spinach leaves to a sandwich, have some tomatoes with your eggs, snack on cucumber spears, put zucchini or broccoli in your lasagna, add asparagus to an omelette or quiche, add grated carrots to meatloaf. While vegetables were hard for me, fruit was always easy, but if you have trouble with plain fresh fruit... try a fruit smoothie instead of a milkshake, instead of a chocolate bar, eat some fruit with a bit of chocolate dribbled over it or dipped, stew some fruit and use it instead of jam. To sum up, find the ways that work for you. Some people can't eat veggies and fruit in some forms, but can in others, some allergies may totally eliminate some options for you, but check out the other posts with food and recipe ideas.
You've got children, and that and the housework uses lots of your time and energy. It can also mean picky eaters. And few people (adults and children) like things the first couple of times they taste something really new. But think about how you want your children to grow up... healthy? So by eating healthy, you set a good example for them, you're more likely to be feeding them healthy food and eating meals together has all kinds of good effects on families and children. (Things you wouldn't necessarily expect, like in families that sit down for dinner together regularly, the children get better grades.)
You got this far! You not only decided to improve your life, but you found a place and people to support that decision. You lost some weight even with the mistakes you made. You discovered where you made mistakes, and you still didn't give up. You did that despite many obstacles. You won't be able to "fix" everything and "succeed" at everything all at once. But over time, you can improve one thing and then another. And yes, sometimes you'll goof, would you call one of your children a failure because they didn't learn something perfectly on the first try?? Given your post, I don't think so. Give yourself at least half the kindness you'd show another person who wasn't perfect all the time. Ok?
Sorry... this sounds all preachy, and like I have it all figured out. I don't, of course! I've messed up plenty, but like you, I'll keep trying.
Wishing you the best!
P.S. I'm glad reading the responses made you feel a bit better. Don't think of it as "your community". It's our community... and you are an important part of it, even if you don't choose to post or read much. You don't have to have a bunch of "friends" listed in the system, and you're still welcome to post and read as it fits your schedule. (I've been posting a lot because it's one way to keep my fingers out of the kitchen :laugh: and because as I read other people's posts, I can identify with so much they say, and I'm so inspired by others stories.) You are an inspiration... with family, health issues, etc., you could have just given up, but you didn't. That's inspiring!0 -
Right am back without the little shouty pointy one about to distract me.
Firstly I want to thank each of you who offered me hugs, and those who encouraged me, told me to not give up, and basically were just bloody lovely. It all helps, and means so much.
Right, trying now to respond to the questions and advice offered...
<b>kaned_ferret <b, - what can I eat... potatoes, white bread, chicken, white fish, salmon, mik, cheese, sugar, porridge, banana, smooth blended sauces and soups (but if they contain too much fibre I will suffer) Pasta, rice (though this can be problematic at different stages of my illness, chocolate! Small quantities of root vegetables. There must be more, but I have gone blank.
Red meats, pork, tomato based sauces, peeled apples, pears, cucumber, root veg, fruit juice (though orange and grapefruit best avoided) Minced meat, ..... if I am having a good day- I can just about manage small amounts- though there may be consequences the following day.
Now, there are some days I think 'forget it, life is too short', and eat some of the foods I ought not, but this will often result in additional pain, and other difficulties- if I ever eat too too much of the wrong thing, a rush to the hospital is needed.
Today has been a bad day, as yesterday we went to a party with a buffet- much of the food I could tell immediatey I couldn't eat, but there were other things I thought should be safe enough- especially as I knew I would be home today, and could deal with any side effects. However, it turns out the safe food wasn't safe afterall- the potato pie- well the potato sliced on top had been peeled, but the mashed potato inside had still had it's skin on. There were nuts in sauces that I didn't see (or taste) and other veg had been covered in sauce or wrapped in something else, and although I chewed carefully (as I always have to) I have been very lucky not to end up at the hospital today- I have had severe pain, sickness and a blockage...
I think it may help if I give a brief explanation of my health conditions- ( I won't include everything, as it is all rather 'dull, me, me, me', and in some case just quite gross and far far tmi) ... The main condition that causes issues with food is due to bowel disease, I have Colits/ Crohns disease I had my colon removed when I was 15 years old. In it's place I had an internal pouch made. Annoyingly after some good years, the pouch has now failed- and so (TMI coming up) ....in order to empty it (number 2's) I have to use a catheter several times a day. Due to scar tissue ( I have had well over 50 operations) and inflammation caused by the disease, food can often cause blockages- how my body reacts depends on where the blockage is- small bowel, or pouch. Blended food, can solve the blockage issue, but unfortunately too much fruit juice, or vegetable, high fibre based sauces and soups can increase my bowel output and I am stuck in the loo for hours at a time, and in considerable discomfort.
To add to the fun, I also have fistula(s), fissures and abcesses- these are around the pouch and peri anal areas. I have permanent drains in place to help prevent infections building up. However, sometimes they don't work, and other times food can block them (rice I am looking at you) or, if the pouch backs up, feces can be forced through them which burns like hell and makes me very grumpy (sorry husband and children).
I will eventually lose the pouch, and instead have a permanant ileostomy- I have had several of these over the past 17 years, but to add to the fun, I am allergic to the majority of adhesives, (if I am not allergic to one, I use it regularly and I become allergic.) I have very little small bowel left, so this means that my stomas are such that my bags leak, making me uncomfortable, exhausted and depressed. So, for now, the failed pouch and catheters are the lesser of the 2 evils, and I manage well, and do love my life.
The other conditions that restrict my diet and excercise, are a perforated duodenal ulcer, hiatus hernia, PCOS, arthritis, migraines...
Gosh, I sound such a freak- honestly, I am not just an 'ill person' and do my best not to let the blighters take over my life- though there are days like yesterday when I get fed up.
An example of my week day diet and routine
Morning
-Awake at 6am, for IV anti sickness meds, and oramorph
Husband wakes me again at 8, he has usually looked after baby since 6am, he gets older son fed, washed and dressed. Takes him to school, and himself to work
Before he leaves, I use the Bathroom (toilet), bathe, dress, and take pills and more oramorph
Breakfast
Porridge made with water and skimmed milk
some type of sweet biscuit
Tea made with skimmed milk
Glass of squash
I then wash, and dress baby- get him to sleep for nap. I normally rest for half an hour, as drugs can make feel drained.
Baby wakes after 30 minutes, it's snack time for him.
Meds time for me, including more oramorph and further IV medication.
Snack (Needed because of meds)
either low calorie biscuit, oat cake, or banana, and a cup of tea.
Clean up after baby's snack and we play and he destroys house, and I try and stick it back together (O:
Prepare baby's Lunch
I try to eat with him- often, lunch for me will be toast and light philadelphia
Baby makes a lot of mess, so kitchen floor cleaned.
I then hoover, dust, clean kitchen tidy, dust, clean bathrooms, clean floors- I do a selection of these chores each day.
Settle baby for sleep,
Bathroom trip, more Meds, run upstairs a couple of times getting clothes, and snacks ready for older son
Walk baby (in his push chair) and dog, to collect son- we walk whatever the weather.
Home, Let older son wind down with snack, then do homework, tidy house, and prepare dinner for husband, and children (They eat lots of fresh foods, and a varied diet, we are very open with my son (and will do the same with baby), and help him to understand how important a healthy diet is. He know why my meals are so different. As mealtime can be uncomfortable (pain at sitting and actual digestion) for me, my hsuband often eats his evening meals with the boys, and I eat alone. On days when we are together at lunch, I always attempt to join in with lunchtime meals.
Once husband home, he sits and eats with boys- I take a bathroom trip, have IV meds.
Have my dinner (Always before 6pm)- Regular dinner consisits of easy pizza- 2 slices of Danish bread, small amount of puree, 30mg lighter cheese. Chocolate bar and cup of tea.
Rest on sofa- will have pain after mealtime, snuggle and read with children.
Bathroom trip.
Rest.
Evening snacks Low calorie jelly, dark chocolate (30g) Low cal biscuit, rice cakes, toast, banana, slimfast bar or lighter crisps (I don't eat ALL of these, though I usually have around 200- 300kcal left for snacks and so mix and match) Usually drink a couple of cups of tea with skimmed milk.
Try not to eat later than 9.30pm
Sleep meds, all other meds including IV.
Bathroom and bed.
I am often awake with baby between 3- 5am.
and then we start again.....
Throughout the day I drink a lot- on top of water, I also drink, low cal lemonades, sugar free fruit cordials (squash) Tea, herbal tea, and fruit waters
...
My breakfast is the same everyday, but lunch and dinner can vary a little- sometimes lunch will be a sandwich, or low cal soup, or whatever the baby offers me ( Every single thing is now logged onto MFP,) Lunch time calories usually between 250- 300. Dinner can be a diet ready meal, or chicken and potato, or pasta and sauce. Dinner usually 290- 360kcals Evening snacks depend on calories left over from daytime food.
One thing I do know is a problem is that my appetite is bigger in the evening than it is during the day, and I often have to make myself eat lunch (though there are still days I run out of time- and I do know this is wrong)
I have a super sweet tooth, so have started to use low calorie jellies to help with this, I also weigh all chocolate treats so am eating far less than I use to, I also break them into small pieces so I savour them, and take longer to eat them. I have only just started to make sure I don't eat after 9.30pm and I intend bringing this time forward gradually.
I have increased my excercise, and Mon- Thursday I am trying to add a few extra minutes to the school walk, and adapting our routine as much as I can, to make it possible. Another very small change is that I never use the downstairs loo- so I always have to run up the stairs- sounds so silly when I write it down <blush>.
Fri- Sun, I am much lazier, generally because I am exhausted and these are the days my husband is around to help out (He is my carer, so he is able to work from home on Fridays. He does all he can to make me rest so I can be well enough for the following week. On Saturdays we do try to get out, and about as I get a bit fed up of being stuck in the village all week, and there is usually shopping I need to do.
As mentioned in my first post, Fri and Sat I always go over my calorie allowence, mainly because we eat lunch together, and also because my husband and I have 2 glasses of wine (150ml each) on both nights.
Goodness, this is so long- I am so sorry.
I would love suggestions to what I could do to help me lose my weight and generally be healthier- I fear I am rather stuck in a rut, and not helping myself as much as I could.
JoHo57- I am so sorry that you have suffered such a sad loss, you are amazing and an inspiration. You sound so strong and are so wonderfully kind to be thinking of others and providing me with so much support and encouragement, you seem to me to be someone very special indeed.
The stretches sound great, I have bookmarked the site and will look a little later on. I have often wondered about measuring myself rather than using the scales. But the tape measure terrifies me as I don't think I look any different than I did 6lbs ago, I am now wondering whether or not to just bite the bullet- is there somewhere I can look to learn where and how I should measure myself? (as in where on my body, not where in the house (o; )
Thank you so much for your advice, suggestions and kindness.
River_ready, have never heard of cacao bean, will investigate- thank you. I have spoken to many dieticians, but they have been very honest with me, and there is little they can do with the restrictions I have. As I am not obese, there is not a lot they can advise for weight loss, but we have looked at a low Gi diet, and I have tried to incorporate what I can. The only other things they can suggest are vitamin substitutes, but these tend to be high calorie.
Evelyn_Gorfra, thank you- I too am allergic to eggs, but seem to be able to tolerate them cooked in things (like cakes)- if I eat them as 'eggs' they cause me to bleed- very odd.
I do adore yogurt, but have never found it very filling, I will try again, and try some different types to see if there are any that satisfy my hunger better.
I have wanted to do yoga, and have attended two different classes over the years- but on both occasions I was told to sit out lots of the class because of the information I provided on my medical forms (I continually lose blood, and this has concerned them, as well as lots of other aspects of my surgical history.) I really would love to do it, but am not sure if there is a way around the barriers that my health seem to cause?
Pilates is another I have considered, but we have no local classes, and even if we did, I have no childcare during the day. Ideally. in the evenings I could use a dvd to excercise along to, but being totally honest, I am a wreck every evening after a busy (for me) day. I know I sound like I am a flake, and making excuses, I wonder if I should just try and push through the evening tiredness and pain? I don't know what would be best, as I want to be fitter, but I don't know how much I should push myself as I don't want to stop myself from being a mum the following day.
I would like to be more toned, my shape has changed forever, but there is room for improvement.
I may very well take you up on your offer for your math help, thank you, and thank you too for sharing some of your story with me. You have provided me with some very wise words, and great suggestions- thank you so much. I have actually quoted lots of your wisdom in my notebook. You're great, thank you x
Oh my word, this is sooooooo long- I really wanted to respond individually to each of you who posted, but I fear you may be losing the will to live with my endless waffle. If I didn't mention you by name, please, please don't think you're response to me was any less appreciated- I have quoted lots of the postive messages, and you are all helping me to change my mindset- I even found myself nodding yes a few times when you told me of the good things I am doing- thank you. I am not totally there yet, when it comes to feeling like I am doing good, but you have certainly set me on the right path, and I really hope I can somehow help you all in some way one day- for now, all I want to do is tell each of you that you have made a difference to me and my life.
If you have made it this far, and with ALL the additional info I have provided, think there is something or things I could be doing better, please tell me- I would be grateful for all suggestions, and would even understand if you feel I need to toughen up, and push myself more- crack all the whips you need to, I want to change.
Thank you again, and I am sorry for the minutes/ hours/ days/ weeks it as taken to read this mammoth post, you'll never get them back and you have me to blame- eeeek! Sorry! (o; x0 -
No one gets it right all the time. And if you're still trying, you haven't failed yet. You've learned a few things, and now you can use them to do better.
To a few of your specific points... although a salad can be a good way to increase your vegetable intake, if you don't like them or can't eat too much at a time or raw, there are other ways. When I started tracking, one thing I found was that I was actually eating more vegetables than I'd thought. Especially if you make your own food, there are many ways to add more vegetables... add some lettuce, basil or spinach leaves to a sandwich, have some tomatoes with your eggs, snack on cucumber spears, put zucchini or broccoli in your lasagna, add asparagus to an omelette or quiche, add grated carrots to meatloaf. While vegetables were hard for me, fruit was always easy, but if you have trouble with plain fresh fruit... try a fruit smoothie instead of a milkshake, instead of a chocolate bar, eat some fruit with a bit of chocolate dribbled over it or dipped, stew some fruit and use it instead of jam. To sum up, find the ways that work for you. Some people can't eat veggies and fruit in some forms, but can in others, some allergies may totally eliminate some options for you, but check out the other posts with food and recipe ideas.
You've got children, and that and the housework uses lots of your time and energy. It can also mean picky eaters. And few people (adults and children) like things the first couple of times they taste something really new. But think about how you want your children to grow up... healthy? So by eating healthy, you set a good example for them, you're more likely to be feeding them healthy food and eating meals together has all kinds of good effects on families and children. (Things you wouldn't necessarily expect, like in families that sit down for dinner together regularly, the children get better grades.)
You got this far! You not only decided to improve your life, but you found a place and people to support that decision. You lost some weight even with the mistakes you made. You discovered where you made mistakes, and you still didn't give up. You did that despite many obstacles. You won't be able to "fix" everything and "succeed" at everything all at once. But over time, you can improve one thing and then another. And yes, sometimes you'll goof, would you call one of your children a failure because they didn't learn something perfectly on the first try?? Given your post, I don't think so. Give yourself at least half the kindness you'd show another person who wasn't perfect all the time. Ok?
Sorry... this sounds all preachy, and like I have it all figured out. I don't, of course! I've messed up plenty, but like you, I'll keep trying.
Wishing you the best!
P.S. I'm glad reading the responses made you feel a bit better. Don't think of it as "your community". It's our community... and you are an important part of it, even if you don't choose to post or read much. You don't have to have a bunch of "friends" listed in the system, and you're still welcome to post and read as it fits your schedule. (I've been posting a lot because it's one way to keep my fingers out of the kitchen :laugh: and because as I read other people's posts, I can identify with so much they say, and I'm so inspired by others stories.) You are an inspiration... with family, health issues, etc., you could have just given up, but you didn't. That's inspiring!
Robin, So sorry, totally missed your message whilst posting my epic response last night ( War and Peace has nothing on me (o;) Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate your advice, and certainly didn't find it to be preachy.
There are very few salads, fruit and vegetables that I don't like- for many years I ate heaps of them, and they made up the majority of my diet- sadly now, they don't like me- and it makes little difference how they are cooked. Some cause blockages, others make me lose lots of additional blood, and then a mix of them all make the bathroom my home for 24hours at least. They all cause me an awful lot of pain )o: It's a complete bummer (oops no pun intended).
I touched on this in my other post, but I do try very hard to ensure my childen have a healthy and well balanced diet. My 4 year old understands that my tummy stops me eating lots of food, but he has to otherwise he won't grow big and strong (or keep his curly hair (o;) My husband sits and eats with the boys every breakfast and evening meal. I will sit with them when my health allows, but I do find it hard sitting up at a dining room, and eating with them everyday.
Thank you for all of your kind words, you speak a lot of sense, and you have made me smile- this is certainly a community I want to be a part of- thank you so much x0 -
You are not a failure! You have just hit a rough patch, and this too shall pass. I really blew it yesterday, and as I sat there feeling like a bloated, beached whale, I realized I had to get back at it. So today, I went on my walk, have had my fruit for breakfast, and plan on moving forward.
Get back to it, don't look back, and depend on your friends here to get you through your rough patch. In the meantime, I got extra hugs from the Easter Bunny yesterday, so you can have a few. :flowerforyou:0 -
I am not sure how you can say you are a failure...you are doing this and lost 6 pounds!! To me that is FAR from being a failure. Figure out what you can eat and go from there.Don't be so focused on what you can't eat, that will only stress you out! You are doing great!!0
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6 pounds in 6 weeks is good. Exactly on target. Just. Keep. Going. You reached the tipping point. It will get better.0
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6 lbs in 6 weeks is actually good progress, not a failure.
You said "So I have lost some weight, and although it's not a lot, I do feel a bit better about myself, but I am not where I want to be, and I don't know how to get there. "
MFP can help you find the way, so stick with it...but realize that the path may be winding and it may be slower than you want. Nothing in life that's worth having comes easily, right? Keep working, and you'll get there.
It sounds like you're very ill and in a lot of pain. You also sound like you may be depressed (just a guess, not an expert here). That's normal though. If you were in your health* situation and NOT depressed, you'd probably be crazy.
I'm not going to tell you what to do because you asked us not to... but I do hope you can see from all the responses here that you are making progress, and that you can use that place as a stepping stone to keep moving forward.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Keep posting!
Jen
*edited to add the word "health"... because it sounds like you have a wonderful family that supports and cares for you... and that is not depressing at all!0 -
You have so much on your plate to deal with all at the same time - you are indeed a Warrior Princess to face these battles daily and still look for ways to improve.
A couple thoughts:
Depression is often a serious side effect of serious illness and may be contributing to your down feelings even though you are working very hard. Check with your doctor about finding a good therapist that deals with serious medical issues.
If you have not been to one lately, get a referral to a registered dietician for help on figuring out your calorie levels and foods to best benefit you. Your dietary needs are way to complicated for me to comment on, for sure!
You have much to add to MFP conversations and message threads even if you become an encourager for others. You don't have to have answers for everything, but as you found it can help tremendously just to hear that you are not alone, you are working hard, you can do it! Plus it helps your own mood to be positive about/ for others.
Keep up the good work!0 -
You are stronger than you think you are. I have two young children that wear me out on a daily basis and I don't have debilitating health issues. Your strength and perseverence is amazing. Take one day at a time, celebrate the good ones and put the bad ones behind you. You can get there... it will just take time.0
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I read your epic post (awesome job explaining, helped me better to form my answer) and have to say, all things considered, you're rockin' it!
Anyway, I would like to point out that your medications can affect your ability to lose weight, so there may be some slowing in your weight loss from that (and let's face it, if you need the meds, you need the meds.)
I noticed in your description of a day in the life of you that your diet is high in starches (I understand the limitations, I am learning to live with mine as well) and lower on proteins (you mentioned there were a few types of protein you can eat) you may feel more full if you decrease the starches and add in some more of the proteins you can eat. Can you have protein shakes made with soy or whey? Maybe a chocolate protein shake when you're having that chocolate attack?
Keep the faith my dear, you may find the answers here, you may find them from another site, but remember you are awesome and if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually, you'll reach the goal!0 -
Amazed you're doing so well! Given all you're up against, you're doing wonderfully! And I can see why many of my suggestions were way off the mark, but I'm glad you took it in the positive spirit in which it was intended.0
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You lost 6 pounds in 6 weeks? That's a bloody successful failure if you ask me!
I know we all have down times and it sounds as though you have a lot on your plate with medical issues, children etc.
So, once you've indulged in a little bit of "woe is me" time, stop beating yourself up and keep up the good work - you DO know what to do, you just have to keep on with it.
So, that means eating what works for you, keep logging your meals, move as much as you can (can you play silly dancing games with the kids?) and accept that losing weight isn't easy but that you are making really positive changes that WILL pay off in the long run.
Hang in there!0 -
So sorry I have taken so long to reply, a mix of the Easter holidays, a crazy 4 year old, a baby we are trying to persuade not to be a night owl, a half decorated cloakroom, a wonderful paint splattered husband, a Ruby Wedding anniversary, an unhappy pouch and a whole host of other excuses:ohwell: , I haven't been able to get online as much as I would have wished. I have finally been able to sit down and have been reading all of your encouragement and support- thank you all.:flowerforyou:
I am nervous about tomorrow as it is 'weigh day' I am not feeling too hopeful, I have changed my weight loss goal to half a pound a week, rather than 1lb- this has increased my daily calories from 1310 to 1526. At first I had no idea how I was going to eat the extra calories, however, it seems the more I eat, the hungrier I am, and I am actually struggling to stay within the allowance:blushing: I am feeling a bit flubby and wobbly- a mix of the extra calories and less than usual excercise- wondering whether it is worth giving the scales a miss tomorrow, and waiting till next week when I will be back on my normal routine with daily excercise?
Now, responding to some of your questions and asking some more questions....
First of all, How do I go about measuring myself instead of weighing-? seeing the scales say I have lost even just 1/2lb does help me psychologically, but I can't think that type of loss would register in inches?
Rubybelle- thank you for your response, and for your encouragement- we are silly dances ago go here- I have never considered them a tool in my weight loss journey- but now you have mentioned it, I think we may be sticking the boy's Abba CD on a few more times a day- every Mamma Mia helps
Rachelh6- I am constantly battling my need for meds, against my desire for body happiness. I have made a few changes to my drugs recently, and I think that has helped me lose the small amount of weight I have so far managed to shift.
I know very little about protein shakes, but they are certainly something that I would really like to try- do they jus taste like regular milkshakes? Are they low calorie? I have no idea where to look for them, I am in the UK, so if anyone could name some places for me to go to buy some, that would be fab:flowerforyou: .
A few of you have mentioned depression- depression is certainly not a stranger to me and my family, and there are days I feel depressed, but it is a feeling that comes and goes, My husband and I talk openly about how we feel, and there are days when I will mention a dark cloud hovering overhead- we work towards white skies with big patches of blue- and usually we can achieve that. I have rest days, days out, cuddles, favourite books, films. hobbies and sometime just 'woe is me' days to try and pick me back up, but if the cloud doesn't shift, I have in the past sought help, but it's been a while, we can normally change my clouds between us, but we are always aware that sometimes we/ I need help. Does that make sense?
I know I probably don't come across as one in my posts, but I am a positive person, I have more things to smile about than to moan about- my health whilst not ideal, could a whole lot worse, spending so much time in hospital reinforces this, so many people have a far harder time than I do. I was told (twice) I would never fall pregnant- proved them wrong both times.I was told I had less than an hour to live, still here. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend, I have wonderful children, they drive me batty and melt my heart - often within the same minute. I have a house that isn't the biggest, nor the most lavish, but it is our home, and my favourite place on earth to be. I have an amazing network of friends and family, and I have a future that I will never give up on. I am not 'Pollyanna' about life, but I have enough positives to give me a kick up the *kitten* everytime I am looking at my half filled cup.
Although I haven't mentioned you all by name, I have read every word you have each written, I have quoted many of you in my notebook ( I am notebook and list freak) and I have taken onboard all of your positivity, words of wisdom and everything else inbetween. Thank you so much.
Thank you too for the friend requests, It's great to be 'getting to know' some new people, and I hope I can offer you some help, friendship and support too- thank you all x
:flowerforyou:0 -
Like others have said - I see no failure here!
Looking after a young family and a home means that you are moving lots! It may not be formal exercise, but it all counts. And you seem to be of the mind-set of gradually increasing your walking etc. All good stuff...
I would definitely look into protein shakes - I don't know where I would get them from, but there must be plenty of suppliers available through the internet. My brother had something similar years ago (about 30!), which was a powder to be mixed with milk - he had a chocolate flavour one. There was also a plain one which could be mixed with juice. No idea whether they were low-fat as I wasn't really concerned with such things at that time.
I think you're doing fabulously with all you have to contend with - my excuses are slightly bigger children, and bouts of endometriosis and adult-onset asthma. You have given me a metaphorical kick up the *kitten*, even if you never intended to! {{{{{HUGS}}}}0
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