What to do when your cupboards are being stocked by someone

zombiemusicgirl
zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
edited December 17 in Motivation and Support
So....My someday mother-in-law. One of the sweetest, kindest, most considerate people in the world. She is one of those people who has no desire to overeat, and keeps a nice figure even though she has a myriad of chronic illnesses.

I came home from teaching today and noticed she went food shopping. And what is on the counter? Those terrible "italian cookies" that are made with hydrogenated everything and high fructose garbage. And this after I asked her, a week ago, to only buy single servings if she wanted to buy junk food like that. Why would I ask something like that? Because the last time she bought in oreos, she brought a 30 pack of the 270 calorie 6 packs. I have been pretty much ok with avoiding stuff, but I saw it and I was enraged.

Her husband is diabetic, 2 of her children are quite overweight, and the other has very disordered eating (though she would never admit it).

Now I don't want you to imagine devil horns on all of these people. I just want to get it out. No one is going to eat those cookies. Sometimes I put them away and out of my sight. But when a massive craving hits (and I have some crazy hormone issues that I am hoping losing weight will solve) I have been known to put away multiple servings in one sitting. Sometimes I even get creative and combine that with the oodles of ice cream in the house.

I have been trying to spend less time in the kitchen, and to be direct, honest and kind. But she has allowed me to live in her house, rent free, so I have someplace to live. I can't very well go throwing my will around in her face (which I have danced on the border of doing at times).

So I guess I will ask this question. When you can't clear out your cupboards, how do you deal with the temptation?

Replies

  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    she has allowed me to live in her house, rent free, so I have someplace to live. I can't very well go throwing my will around in her face

    This. You know the answer.

    She isn't making you eat anything, she's buying groceries for her own home. Tread very lightly with your requests. When you have a mortgage that's when you'll be in charge of what gets purchased. Until then, it's ill-advised, at best, to try to dictate what she buys.
  • inetgirl
    inetgirl Posts: 174 Member
    Luckily I don't have to deal with that.

    You could always take the tin to work and put in the break room. I bet the temptation wouldn't last long. Other than that, pure will power.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
    she has allowed me to live in her house, rent free, so I have someplace to live. I can't very well go throwing my will around in her face

    This. You know the answer.

    She isn't making you eat anything, she's buying groceries for her own home. Tread very lightly with your requests. When you have a mortgage that's when you'll be in charge of what gets purchased. Until then, it's ill-advised, at best, to try to dictate what she buys.

    Exactly this. If you don't want to eat what she buys, don't eat it. If you have a temptation or a craving, go for a walk.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I'll ignore everything else you said and focus on what I do when there is tempting food in my kitchen. I also make sure there is healthy food that I like. When I feel the urge to go eat something I know isn't a healthy option, I'm more inclined to eat something healthy if that's an option, also. Buy more of your favorite, healthy foods.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Do you buy any of the groceries? Or does she provide all of the food?
  • Leiki
    Leiki Posts: 526 Member
    I get a plate, and separate the amount I'm allowed to have of something. I will eat that, and log it, and go about my day. I live in a house with 3 men. It is hard not to be surrounded by chips, ice cream, butter, baked goods, etc... but I just learned to moderate the amount I have. I don't want to have it be on my mind, and then later binge on it.
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
    Are you really 30 years old?? Buy your own food, go give your MIL a HUGE hug and tell her thanks for helping you out, and try hard to have more respect for her! I'm not "imagining devil horns" on any one else in that post-except the person who wrote it. No offense, but you sound extremely unappreciative.

    *gets into dodge stance to prepare to duck all the tomatoes that come flying my way*
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    The best way to avoid the temptation is to replace it with something else. If you can't stop her from buying the ones you don't want then you could go out and buy yourself some of the ones you do want. When you have a tempting moment, you can have the ones you bought for yourself.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Seriously? Her house, her rules, even if they are bad rules.
    What stops you from going to the store and gorging yourself when there is no bad food in the house? You are a grown woman, you could go to the store and get bad stuff. Or is it FREE bad stuff that tempts you? You have more will power than you are letting on.
  • Ttopeka
    Ttopeka Posts: 151 Member
    You need to focus more on learning self control and moderation than on figuring how to change her perspective. Change YOURS.

    I might also suggest that if you are unhappy with the food she brings into the household, offer to go grocery shopping with her one afternoon, and *perhaps* you may then be able to subtly steer her in a healthier direction.
  • Meatsies
    Meatsies Posts: 351 Member
    Are you really 30 years old?? Buy your own food, go give your MIL a HUGE hug and tell her thanks for helping you out, and try hard to have more respect for her! I'm not "imagining devil horns" on any one else in that post-except the person who wrote it. No offense, but you sound extremely unappreciative.

    *gets into dodge stance to prepare to duck all the tomatoes that come flying my way*

    I'll dodge tomatoes with you. This. ^^
    At the very least, this should be some great incentive to go get your own place.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    So I guess I will rephrase. Every time I read about how to get past cravings, everyone and everything says "get it out of the house."
    How do you deal with it when you can't?

    I do buy my own groceries and personal provisions

    For those of you who actually gave me info to help me, thank you.

    For those of you who attacked me, I guess that's what you felt would help?

    BTW - I love her very much. She was crying when we told her we are moving out in 6 months. When we moved in she wanted us to stay forever. Not that I need to qualify myself to a bunch of judgmental comments that in no way answered what I was asking.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    I get a plate, and separate the amount I'm allowed to have of something. I will eat that, and log it, and go about my day. I live in a house with 3 men. It is hard not to be surrounded by chips, ice cream, butter, baked goods, etc... but I just learned to moderate the amount I have. I don't want to have it be on my mind, and then later binge on it.

    Thanks - I get pretty nervous sometimes about it. I'll keep that in mind when it hits me next time.
  • ThePunkHippie
    ThePunkHippie Posts: 213
    Are you really 30 years old?? Buy your own food, go give your MIL a HUGE hug and tell her thanks for helping you out, and try hard to have more respect for her! I'm not "imagining devil horns" on any one else in that post-except the person who wrote it. No offense, but you sound extremely unappreciative.

    *gets into dodge stance to prepare to duck all the tomatoes that come flying my way*

    So much THIS!
    I had to live with my boyfriend & his parents for a couple years, & they bought the food, whatever they wanted. In order to help avoid cravings, I learned what trans fats can do to my health & found those cookies to be a lot less tempting. I also started buying my own food & cooking meals for the household (I also wasn't paying rent, & I didn't want to feel like a freeloader)
    For those of you who attacked me, I guess that's what you felt would help?

    You're acting as if she's buying these things just to spite you. Yes, us telling you that you seem unappreciative might seem like an attack, but it's just reality. You're here, complaining about the food she brings into HER house. That doesn't seem very appreciative to me.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    Do you buy any of the groceries? Or does she provide all of the food?

    I buy all of my own food - she goes to sam's club and picks stuff up for me that I haven't asked for. I always feel really bad when that happens.
  • zombiemusicgirl
    zombiemusicgirl Posts: 98 Member
    Seriously? Her house, her rules, even if they are bad rules.
    What stops you from going to the store and gorging yourself when there is no bad food in the house? You are a grown woman, you could go to the store and get bad stuff. Or is it FREE bad stuff that tempts you? You have more will power than you are letting on.

    I keep that in mind some times. I think it is just easier to say no in the store. I really want to do this, and as soon as I saw cookies, I thought about how hard I have tried in the past to avoid it. I guess I should just focus on now and handle the craving when it comes. Thanks
  • yubafarm
    yubafarm Posts: 28 Member
    I read your post as an innocent question - how to not give in when you have a craving and the stuff is right there 24 hours a day (not like a quick pass through a store). I understand completely bc my boyfriend eats some junk food, not a lot but it has always been incredibly hard for me to resist. Much harder than temptations on a menu, grocery store or friend's house. Partly because it's there all the time and partly because I'm in the privacy of my own home and can scarf it down without any perceived judgment.

    You've gottem some good suggestions here - keeping alternatives around is key for me. This helps me a lot. This site helped me learn that cauliflower, of all things, helps me get through cravings and the occasional sense of just feeling unsatisfied / hungry when I have no calories left to spare. The cauliflower with lemon, olive oil (or not) and salt helps me with salty cravings. Nonfat yogurt with stevia and blueberries helps me with sweet cravings. Maybe there are similar foods for you?

    I also find that keeping it out of sight helps. Maybe you could ask her if she would mind if you store it in a certain place just to help you to avoid temptation? I would not be offended if a guest asked me that and it sounds like you have a great relationship.

    In the end the real thing that gets me through (usually) is my determination NOT to eat the junk. It is hard to keep the motication up. What inspires you to eat healthy? Results so far? Reading success stories here? Thinking about your health? Logging your meals? Putting in the effort to work out so that you are less likely to eat junk and effectively undo all of that hard work. Tap into these things.

    good luck - i know how hard this is as it is a struggle for me everyday.
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