need motivation and reason to keep going.

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wfaulk
wfaulk Posts: 10 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi... my name is Wendy and I turned 40 yesterday and have been dieting for the past 1-1/2 months... I have lost a total of 25# counting before starting this sight and since.... one reason I joined is because I do not have the support at home... my daughter
is dieting with me but does not live with me.... I have 3 teenagers and 1 grandson right now and expecting twins in Sept. from my
other daughter.... I have been married for almost 9 years and it is my second marriage... I feel like giving up most days because
of comments that I hear from him.... he tells me I need to just stop with this diet and all cause I will not stick to it and jsut learn
to live with being what I am.... since I have started and lost the 25#, he has not said anything at all... I can not even get him to tell me
that I am doing a good job or tell me that he can notice anything.... he is small and does not have to worry about his weight so he
does not understand that i need to hear that he can tell and that I am doing good... guess thats just life.... I am trying to loose
about 80 to 85 pounds and still have a long way to go.... any support or friends that understand would be nice
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Replies

  • mom22qties
    mom22qties Posts: 47
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    I am here for you. The more support the better. Please feel free to add me.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Hi Wendy, such a great job you are doing! I had the same even though we both needed to lose. I think it has a lot to do with their insecurity that you might want to leave when you get to your goal. dont listen when he says you will not get there. you will! never ever give up! you are worth it! I didnt have as much to lose but I understand the spouse thing. Now he is on here too and my greatest supporter. Just make sure you reassure him you are not going anywhere! give him extra attention if need be. kill him with kindness so to speak! I will add you too. you can do this! you got it!
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
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    Grrrr! Boo on him! Congrats on all of the grandbabies!! I would love to be your friend and support you. I will send you a request. :flowerforyou:
  • xTenaciousJx
    xTenaciousJx Posts: 555
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    hi Wendy! if you would like to add me you can! i feel like i'm doing this thing alone at times too since my hubby is encouraging but not eating healthy like i am. it gets tiring making different meals. but i'm happy with my progress and i figured being 30 i needed to start to lose my weight now and be healthy for my daughter so she doesn't have a poor body image like i struggled with. so you can do this!! don't give up!!
  • SteveO5198
    SteveO5198 Posts: 16
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    I know all too well how you feel. I am very fortunate to have the support of my best friend, who is also a member of this site. She is doing amazing!!! Congratulations on your weight loss, you will reach your goal in no time with the support of your daughter and your friends here on Fitness Pal. :)
  • ddky
    ddky Posts: 381 Member
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    Keep at for yourself and your children and grandchildren, not for him. He may be insecure and worries that if you lose the weight, you might leave him. I'm sure that is not the case, but sometimes husbands feel that way wheter or not they can admit it. Its great that you have lost 25 pounds. I have twin grandsons, so I can promise you that you are going to need all the energy that you can get, So stay the course, you will be so glad you did. Take encouragement from wherever you can get it and be proud of yourself.
  • katiejarr
    katiejarr Posts: 251 Member
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    Stick with this Wendy! Do it for YOURSELF! You will look and feel better for you and that is what is important! We are here for you! I will friend you. Im 51 and have lost 30 pounds...youre not in this alone :smile:
    Keep recording what you eat. Do you exercise? If not you should because it will do a lot for your self confidence. I started taking yoga classes last year at my local community center (before I lost the weight) and it has changed my body and my mind! Even if you just take a 30 min walk every day it will make a difference! Hang in there!
  • SwimTheButterfly
    SwimTheButterfly Posts: 265 Member
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    I am here for you. Your husband sounds like a creep.He is sabotaging you. I am sorry but men who dislike women who are overweight have some serious problems. This is your life. You are a beautiful women. I have a 169lbs to lose and my husband still loves me. You can totally do this. I think the reason why he is doing that has more to do with his own fears of aging than your weight. Your sweet body gave birth to beautiful children. Love yourself and don't accept that from a DAMM MAN! Sorry, but when i hear of men giving women a hard time because of their weight it makes me very angry.
  • akjmart2002
    akjmart2002 Posts: 263 Member
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    Hang in there, Wendy. You are doing this for *your* health and sense of well-being. Keep at it, no matter what. You won't regret it.
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    ~ The first step is understanding that this journey is all about you ! Sure it would be nice if he acknowledged your efforts and had something nice to say ... but the truth is ... it is YOU that needs to acknowledge your own efforts and be proud of the steps you are taking to a healthier lifestyle.

    Forget about giving up ... those words don't exist anymore. Your here for a reason ... your calling out for support because you need it ... well here it is ... you are not alone ... and this community will support you every step of the way !

    I guarantee he will notice when you get to your goals ... one big factor will be your confidence level and how you carry yourself. The beauty of this journey is how you feel along the way .... don't depend on anybody else to make you work for it ... hold yourself accountable .... allow others to guide and support you.

    There is no better feeling in the world that compares with success ... especially when it is YOU that accomplished it ! Get up, get moving .... and make a difference. Don't allow anybody to hold you back ... YOU GOT THIS !

    Best of luck my friend ... :flowerforyou:
  • thepanttherlady
    thepanttherlady Posts: 258 Member
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    What an awesome job you've done!!!

    It IS nice when others notice the results of our hard work, isn't it? Just remember though, at the end of the day you're doing this for YOU not anyone else.

    Also remember that *most* men don't tend to be the sensitive, complimentary types. Most don't realize we've changed our hairstyle etc. Have you considered maybe he's afraid that you WILL be successful with this and that you may feel and look better and not want him anymore? I would sit down and tell him how you're feeling...that his support is important to you but at the same time reassure him that you love him just as much as 9 years ago. :)

    Good luck!!! Please don't ever give up...you've made great progress so far.
  • Daddypugg
    Daddypugg Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi Wendy!

    I have to agree with AnnaBellj. I would also like to say that you should stick with it and reach your goal. By achieving your goal he may be more supportive in the future.

    I think you are on the right track - you will find lots of support here. If you are interested you can add me as a friend and I will be happy to offer a males perspective and support :)


    Hope this helps,


    Michael
  • crfaulk1
    crfaulk1 Posts: 10 Member
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    First - awesome last name!!

    Second - we ALL hit bumps in the road ... but don't let that stop you from picking back up!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!
  • Katie1951
    Katie1951 Posts: 314 Member
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    Just remember who you're doing this for. YOU!!! Yes, it would be nice if your husband said something positive. I know it would be great to hear that he notices that your hard work is paying off, but it doesn't sound like it's going to happen anytime soon.

    I don't know if you watch the Biggest Loser, this weeks episode, I just wanted to smack Chris' husband Roy when he begged her to come home instead of insisting that she stay there and continue to get healthy.

    My husband has been so supportive and happy to see me make the effort to be healthy. There have been times when he has wanted to throttle me when I've gone over board or get a little smug about my diet and exercise, but he wants me to be healthy.

    Stay positive and keep on working on yourself. You can change his attitude.
  • smplycomplicated
    smplycomplicated Posts: 484 Member
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    This is a great place for support. Hang in there. My husband wasn't really supportive in the beginning, But he sees how hard i've worked, and how much i have changed inside and out..now he makes sure he tells me how proud he is of me. Just keep going :)
  • Raezor1207
    Raezor1207 Posts: 80 Member
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    My husband said somethig similar to me when I first started, and I'll be damned if it didn't make me work harder! I am doing this for me; therefore, I don't need his validation or encouragement. If you are not getting support at home, lean on your friends here. Feel free to add me and we can continue despite our husbands! You got this girl!
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
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    I'm sorry about you having not much support, especially from your husband. That's always hard! My husband isn't trying to lose weight and definitely doesn't watch what he's eating, so I'm alone in my house as far as getting healthy too. Free to add me, I'm on here pretty much every day!! :)
  • jessicah16
    jessicah16 Posts: 8 Member
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    I am here for support if you want it. I just started on MFP last week. You can do this! I tell myself that every day. I want to lose a total of 50 pounds. I have only lost 7 so far but I only starting working out 8 weeks ago.
  • NICOLED73
    NICOLED73 Posts: 183
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    Hi Wendy ( my sisters name ). I just turned 39. Add me if you like.

    First, he's insecure and probably worried about losing you as you get hotter and hotter. Men are dumb (no offense guys) and don't realize we have the ability to love them the same regardless of OUR size.

    Second, you are losing this weight and getting healthy for YOU! Not for him. If you feel better losing that weight, if your clothes fit better, if you are proud of yourself, ...KEEP GOING! You can do it.

    When I was married to my ex husband he was the same way. He would tell me "you're never going to get anywhere with this" etc... He's my EX. I now have the most amazing boyfriend who tells me he is proud of me all the time. It definitely helps. But it's all about YOU. You have to want it.

    I would gladly support you if you'd like! :)
  • LeggyKettleBabe
    LeggyKettleBabe Posts: 300 Member
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    my two cents:

    you have to do this FOR YOU. You cant do this for anyone else. YOU have to kick your own butt, no excuses, just do it.

    Nothing worth having is EASY

    Good luck I know you have the inner strength to meet and exceed this challenge.

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