Fit people that are angry with heavy/fat people

cgraylyon
cgraylyon Posts: 292 Member
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
Not sure if this is the right place to post this. I was shocked yesterday when my extremely fit brother-in-law was watching his father out of breath bending over trying to catch it. He turns to me and says " I just have absolutely no patience for people who are so fat! All they have to do is exercise and eat right they are idiots." I found this really offensive.

I have recently lost weight and I wasn't really all that heavy, but it takes so much more that just eating right and exercise. You have to have motivation, commitment, determination and most of all (I think) support. I really couldn't believe he said this since I have been talking to him over the past couple years for advice on weight loss and about my experience. I just turned to him and said "You have no idea how hard it is to lose weight, since you have never been heavy. Yes you work out all the time and eat right, but you have never let it get out of hand or had an injury that has kept you from being healthy." and I walked away a bit. I hope I wasn't to hard on him, but I think he was being extremely rude!

Replies

  • Microfiber_wechange
    Microfiber_wechange Posts: 640
    I was shocked yesterday when my extremely fit brother-in-law was watching his father out of breath bending over trying to catch it. He turns to me and says " I just have absolutely no patience for people who are so fat! All they have to do is exercise and eat right they are idiots."

    Dunno but maybe he's just scared witless that his dad will drop down dead prematurely
  • cgraylyon
    cgraylyon Posts: 292 Member
    That could be and I am scared for him to, but I don't think anger is going to help. He also made comments about other people at the park. Really I am just shocked that anyone can feel this way about another's lifestyle.
  • munchlax65
    munchlax65 Posts: 31
    I'd have been offended too. I don't think people should judge someone on their weight or fitness. People can become overweight/unfit for many different reasons, sometimes its because they suffer from binge eating disorder or compulsive overeating, and sometimes its because they have had something bad happen in their life and food offers comfort.

    I can understand someone feeling frustrated with a family member for being overweight, its perfectly acceptable to be concerned about someone you love and their health and wellbeing. However, there are ways of getting your point over :)

    Hope this helps :)

    xxx
  • plarcade
    plarcade Posts: 125 Member
    Even when I was heavier, I was very fit and very strong (all horsey girls are freakishly strong!) and it is just normal for me so I am often surprised that my sister, who has always been slimmer than me, couldn't carry all her shopping into the house in one go, or got more tired than me going up long flights of stairs. I might make a joke about it to someone I knew very well, but I wouldn't want to offend anyone. Their life; their choices. I expect I'd drop dead if I had to run 5k! ;)
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    I read somehting on here today that summed it up:

    Losing weight is simple. But it's not easy.
  • drmryder
    drmryder Posts: 181 Member
    I have parents that are very overweight and diabetic. I do everything I can to say the right encouraging words and keep all my opinions to myself that can be taken slightly wrong. Am I angry at my parents for not doing something to help themselves? I sure am, I want them around forever. I think I told my mom one time that I wish she would start walking or something because I want her around for the rest of my life. I don't think that there is anything that I can do or say that will get them to walk the walk instead of talk the talk.

    I'd been upset at my brother if he was saying all that stuff. At least he didn't say it where your dad could hear it right? I sure hope that was the case.

    I think the only people that I would actually talk bad about are the idiots who are purposely trying to gain weight to break world records for 'World's Fattest". Those people drive me nuts.
  • SCSTWG
    SCSTWG Posts: 182 Member
    Certainly he is concerned about his Father, but when people make insulting statements it is typically based in arrogance or ignorance....sometimes both. Many people think becuase most people can control their weight through discipline that anyone who is overwieght is simply undisciplined or inferior in certain ways. Of course, they fail to realize that there are many emotional, physical, genetic and social reasons that people struggle with their weight. Similarlry, it might be hard to understand why someone has a gambling problem or a problem with alcohol or drug abuse. None of us are perfect and I am sure your brother-in-law has a weakness or two himslef.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
    What he said was waaay out of line. But I think when people get angry, it's not so much anger as frustration. My guess is that what he's really feeling is concern, but doesn't know how to express it.

    I can sort of relate because my dad is very obese and I want so badly for him to do something about it. I've tried helping him by asking him to walk with me on weekends and even buying him some nice breezy shirts to walk in. But he usually doesn't go for it. He's tried losing weight but it's usually some very extreme low calorie diet that restricts him way too much so he doesn't stick with it.

    It just breaks my heart because I have a 12 year old sister and the thought of my dad not being around to see her graduate, go to college, or get married all because of his weight - something he could fix if he really wanted to - is just extremely frustrating.

    Regardless, I'd never make a comment like your brother-in-law did because I do know how hard it is, so I'd definitely agree that ignorance played a major role there.
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