Depression, i think i have to admit to this. :(

Hi

i think i have a form of depression and i don't know why i am posting here but i just seem to find life pointless at times.

I think as humans we always want more.

I am fit and healthy and have friends but i am always single, my friends are cool and i have good times with them but when i'm not spending time with them then i do get a bit down.

Also i have been off work for 9 weeks on stress and really think i should just QUIT and cut my ties as i have no intention of going back. I have not bothered looking for another job in the 9 weeks i have had off.

i just want to have some fire and some future in my life in terms of career and life itself. I am 27 and really don't want to be one of them guys who is single forever.

I also lack a lot of confidence with how i look etc. (i am not looking for people to tell me I look good here, its just how i feel).

Don't know what else to say or what i expect from people.

Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I think if it is really as bad as you are saying that you should consider seeing a doctor or therapist and discussing medication. Life is brighter than you can see at this moment, I promise :smile:

    You are welcome to friend me if you need more support.
    Plus, there is an MFP singles group that might help you with that aspect of things at least:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/282-single-peeps
  • egiakatt
    egiakatt Posts: 90 Member
    I have struggled with depression for most of my 45 years. I only started getting 'help' with it 10 years ago. I take meds and go to counceling as needed. I have to work very hard at not climbing into a hole where it remains dark. I have to work at it, even with help. I go to church, I work out, I MAKE myself call a friend. Even if I don't share my mind with them...I just call them and get my mind off myself and my sadness for a minute. I don't know if you feel safer where it is dark and lonely... I do at times because that is how I spent many years. But it is better out here, where there is light, people, and some hope that things will get better.

    I don't know you. I don't know what you need. You could be just going thru a bad patch? If it is depression you may need to reach out for help if it lingers much longer... It seems it is lingering from what you have said.

    I hope things get better for you soon.
  • I too struggle with depression. I'm totally up for a conversation if you want to talk. It's a hard and invisible struggle. Stay strong! <3
  • JeepBrah
    JeepBrah Posts: 150
    You really have to start seeing life as a fun place. You only live once do fun things and take advantage of it. You have to see yourself as a perfect 10/10. Step to chicks talk with them If they don't like you go next what is there 2 lose? nothing after a while there will surrely be a chick who likes you and talking with random people gives you confidence aswell
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    Lack of interest in things that you previously enjoyed is one symptom of depression, I would urge you to seek out a mental health professional.

    Keep in mind that depression is just as much an organic disease as heart attack and cancer but bears an unwarranted stigma. Some people will tell you to shake it off but if it's real depression it needs to be treated sooner rather than later.

    http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/symptomchecklist.aspx?WT.srch=1&amp;DCSext.srchsrc=Google&amp;DCSext.sitetrg=&amp;DCSext.loctype=search&amp;WT.mc_id=FY12_DepressionSymptoms&amp;WT.seg_1=symptoms depression&amp;DCSext.adid=9085124190
  • nniimmcckk
    nniimmcckk Posts: 74 Member
    Oh Mate. Thanks for sharing your feelings, its hard to recognise it if you've not experienced it before. How long you been feeling like this?

    Even tho work was stressing you out, it gives you a sense of purpose, you get social time with your work mates and you've been missing out on it for a while. Can you afford to hand in your notice and do some training for what you really want to do? Do you know what career you want?

    talking to your GP is a good idea, if you know of one that is empathic. When you book an appointment ask the receptionist for an appointment with a GP that has a special interest in mental health or depression, they all specialise. Anti-depressants (I've tried a few) are good if you are in a real low state of helplessness. They can have quite nasty side effects, but they work well for a lot of people. The NHS have been doing a drive for better accessibility to support services in the community so you should be able to get a referral to a Therapist from your GP for free therapy.

    Its a good sign you're still able to get out and socialise and workout, but you need to nip this in the bud before it gets any deeper. Have a look on these sites, see if they help. Love to you <3 xx

    http://www.mind.org.uk/

    http://www.llttf.com/index.php?section=page&page_seq=8
  • I first want to applaud you for sharing your feelings and admitting it to yourself. I was diagnosed with Depression on my 30th Birthday (Sept. 2011) and since then I have also been dignosed with IBS which they say comes from Depression and stress. The IBS is something doctors say I will have for the rest of my life. However, it has all caused me to be more conscious about my food intake, stress and just paying close attention to my body (what I can handle and what I can't). Since seeking help, I have been doing so much better.
    So, I would say spend time around friends and family (not alone), workout and enjoy some of your favorite hobbies. If you still find yourself feeling depressed, you may have to seek medical assistance because it could be a serious chemical imbalance. Good luck with everything and I hope you get better soon!
  • Sweet_Potato
    Sweet_Potato Posts: 1,119 Member
    Thanks for posting this. My girlfriend suffers from depression and it's been difficult for both of us. It helps to know we're not alone. She recently took on a very stressful job that exacerbated her symptoms, and it got to a point where she didn't want to do anything outside of work except sleep. She was actually terrified of stepping outside the house. It's hard for most people to sympathize with her because on the surface she has everything: a high-paying job in a very desirable field, a loving partner, a gorgeous house in one of the best parts of the city, two adorble dogs, etc. I knew there was more to it than that, but there still wasn't much I could do to help. Eventually she saw her GP and got on meds, which have improved her mood signficiantly. Things are still not perfect and she's considering taking a hiatus from work. In the meantime I'm trying to encourage her to get out of the house, socialize, exercise, and do things besides work. It's not easy, but now that she's on meds I can occasionally get her to do these things.
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    Hi

    i think i have a form of depression and i don't know why i am posting here but i just seem to find life pointless at times.

    I think as humans we always want more.

    I am fit and healthy and have friends but i am always single, my friends are cool and i have good times with them but when i'm not spending time with them then i do get a bit down.

    Also i have been off work for 9 weeks on stress and really think i should just QUIT and cut my ties as i have no intention of going back. I have not bothered looking for another job in the 9 weeks i have had off.

    i just want to have some fire and some future in my life in terms of career and life itself. I am 27 and really don't want to be one of them guys who is single forever.

    I also lack a lot of confidence with how i look etc. (i am not looking for people to tell me I look good here, its just how i feel).

    Don't know what else to say or what i expect from people.
    I suffer with depression too, and I have often wondered this too. It's like why am I here, I feel like I have no purpose in life sometimes. I'm not on any medication though, I refuse to take it. I think for me alot of my depression stemed from my anorexia though. I have friends, not as many as I used to but I prefer to be alone alot of the time.
    I have no confidence in my looks either so I understand how you feel. People can tell you look beautiful but it doesn't mean you believe them.
    What were you doing? Like what was your job? Did you enjoy it?
    When I was in college(I never really attended primary or secondary school for health reasons), I wanted to leave, it's all I thought about. I didn't see the point in going to college at all. After I left college in the summer last year, I didn't know what to do and my depression and eating disorder got worse. I stopped going out everyday and started staying in my room all the time, I just wanted to be left alone.
    Then I started looking for a job, at first it was just in general but then I realised what MY purpose in life was, looking after children.
    Early this year, I was offered a position at a nursery and I love it. I have only been there a few months but it's my reason for getting out of bed in the mornings. I hate the fact I have to wake up so early but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've finally found my feet. It's such a rewarding job, and I know I want to run my own nursery one day. I never thought I would feel this, but here I am.
    You have to find something you are passionate about, I mean what dreams do you have? Nothing is ever impossible, you CAN do anything you set your mind to xxx
  • I don't want to come in here and sprout **** about how "I know how it feels" because I have no idea. But I know exactly how it feels to watch this disease rip through someone you love. My fiance has been struggling through depression for the past year. It's only the past couple of months, after I finally persuaded him to go to the doctor, and he started taking medication, that he has finally got a grasp on it, and more like himself.

    There is absolutely no shame - NO SHAME - in asking for help and going on to medication if that is the road your doctor suggests.

    I hope you get the help you need and that you feel better soon <3
  • ChristineDiet
    ChristineDiet Posts: 719 Member
    You really have to start seeing life as a fun place. You only live once do fun things and take advantage of it. You have to see yourself as a perfect 10/10. Step to chicks talk with them If they don't like you go next what is there 2 lose? nothing after a while there will surrely be a chick who likes you and talking with random people gives you confidence aswell

    This ^^^ and hugs from me! I'm so sorry Mo, I didn't know. x
  • Sweet_Potato
    Sweet_Potato Posts: 1,119 Member
    I don't want to come in here and sprout **** about how "I know how it feels" because I have no idea. But I know exactly how it feels to watch this disease rip through someone you love. My fiance has been struggling through depression for the past year. It's only the past couple of months, after I finally persuaded him to go to the doctor, and he started taking medication, that he has finally got a grasp on it, and more like himself.

    There is absolutely no shame - NO SHAME - in asking for help and going on to medication if that is the road your doctor suggests.

    I hope you get the help you need and that you feel better soon <3

    Absolutely. I'm not pro-pharmaceuticals by any means, but I believe that some people do need antidepressants and anxiety medications just to function normally. There's such a stigma against mental illness that a lot of people think you shouldn't treat them the same way you would a physical ailment.
  • Rosbrook1985
    Rosbrook1985 Posts: 130 Member
    A more extensive reply for you.

    I am by no means an expert but here's my little bit. I went in and out of depressive states for about 9 years. Nothing in particular would trigger it but it wasn;t a constant thing. During the years I discovered that although work stressed me, it helped me a lot to have a routine. I found that the times i felt the worst was when I was signed off and not getting up every morning for the job. By all means, when i was at my bottom places i needed a few days to get my **** together but after that getting into the routine helped.

    Another thing that helped a lot was one of these jobbies http://www.betterlifehealthcare.com/products.php?catID=39&subID=222&gclid=CKyDyfvAsq8CFVEjfAodrm-dGw I don't know if this was mind over matter but it did help.

    Having been on many different medications for depression I found that none of them did much for me, aside from numb me, which i hated. Medication wasn't my answer.

    Counselling didn't work, it just made me feel stupid. However, cognitive behavoiural therapy worked well. Not sure what the difference was.

    I don't think that anything specifically 'cured' me. I haven't had any symptoms for 3 years now and i don't know why. I know that there is always a chance it will come back because i don't feel like i ever got to the root of the problem.

    As I said before, i'm always here if you want to talk


    xxxxxxx
  • indiepops
    indiepops Posts: 96
    wow girly you've got some great feedeback about this. we can give you all the pep talks in the world, but nothing will help you like seeing your doctor, i cant stress that enough. i hope you feel better soon xxx
  • Weighinginwithmy02
    Weighinginwithmy02 Posts: 369 Member
    depression isn't just a state of mind (no looking at the bright side will cure somebody of depression) it's an actual illness that needs to be taken seriously and possibly medicated. I think you may fit into the category of depressive, just from your short post here. Call your doctor and make an appointment. Take this seriously like you would if you thought you were... diabetic. It's an illness just like diabetes is and you wouldn't try to cure that with just a simple attitude adjustment would you? Of course not!
  • Lusadi
    Lusadi Posts: 79
    Lack of interest in things that you previously enjoyed is one symptom of depression, I would urge you to seek out a mental health professional.

    Keep in mind that depression is just as much an organic disease as heart attack and cancer but bears an unwarranted stigma. Some people will tell you to shake it off but if it's real depression it needs to be treated sooner rather than later.

    http://www.depressionhurts.ca/en/symptomchecklist.aspx?WT.srch=1&amp;DCSext.srchsrc=Google&amp;DCSext.sitetrg=&amp;DCSext.loctype=search&amp;WT.mc_id=FY12_DepressionSymptoms&amp;WT.seg_1=symptoms depression&amp;DCSext.adid=9085124190

    I second this 100%. It is worth going to talk to someone, even if that someone is just your regular doctor. Many communities offer assistance for free if cost is an issue. Please get help asap.
  • Hi! Good for you for admitting to this! It was hard for me, too! I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year and it was tough! But there are some things you should do! The first is to BUY BOOKS! Some people can get out of this with just self-help, but some people with more severe forms have to seek additional help through a therapist. I do everything and it really helps! And DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT try to make yourself feel guilty for feeling this way even though you have a good life and good things. It is not about that, trust me. I have everything I could ever need and want and I still struggle with it, but it's not simply you not appreciating what you have. Trust me, I had to tell some friends off about this. It's an imbalance that is not your fault. I am seriously here for any questions, book recommendations, just some company, feel free to send me a message!!!
  • I do know the solution to my issues and to be honest i have such a good life i don't appreciate it.

    i have no fire in my belly for my current job or career but i do for personal training and nutrition and should pursue that instead of what i currently do.

    Thanks for the responses and i will try respond to some of you guys who asked me questions.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Yeah it sounds like depression to me. Loss of interest, motivation and appreciation for life is the principal symptom (not sadness as many people who have never been depressed presume).

    You can't self-diagnose though. Seek out a good psychiatrist (not therapist or psychologist) and let them determine if it's actually clinical depression or some other more external problem like burnout.

    Don't mess around with depression or you'll waste years with it and you'll end up in your mid-thirties looking back and wondering where the last decade went. It's not a sign of weakness to seek a medical diagnosis; clinical depression is a biological imbalance and being depressed makes you no 'weaker' than any other biological illness.

    Outside of psychiatric treatment clean eating, regular exercise, the right amount of sleep, and meditation may also help... but don't rely solely on them. If you do them all for more than a couple of months and still feel down then medication may be your only course of action.

    As for the relationship thing, pffft don't worry about it. It'll happen when you're not expecting it. The minute you stop caring about it will be the minute you bump into your future partner. At least that's the way it's always worked in my experience.

    Good luck man, hope you feel better soon!
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    Hi

    i think i have a form of depression and i don't know why i am posting here but i just seem to find life pointless at times.

    I think as humans we always want more.

    I am fit and healthy and have friends but i am always single, my friends are cool and i have good times with them but when i'm not spending time with them then i do get a bit down.

    Also i have been off work for 9 weeks on stress and really think i should just QUIT and cut my ties as i have no intention of going back. I have not bothered looking for another job in the 9 weeks i have had off.

    i just want to have some fire and some future in my life in terms of career and life itself. I am 27 and really don't want to be one of them guys who is single forever.

    I also lack a lot of confidence with how i look etc. (i am not looking for people to tell me I look good here, its just how i feel).

    Don't know what else to say or what i expect from people.

    I'm sorry to hear about your problems.

    See a psychologist or psychiatrist immediately.

    Unless it is unbearable or you are highly employable, or have tremendous savings, do not quit your job. It is much harder to find a job when unemployed, and financial problems only exacerbate depression.

    Clinical depression is more common than you might think. As someone else said, it is an illness. It's good that you're not ignoring what may be CD.
  • TasTam
    TasTam Posts: 84 Member
    Mo, as someone that has battled depression in my past, the symptoms you speak about are common signs. I found that a combination of medication and therapy are the most effective treatment. Sometimes people think that it will go away on it's own and that is usually not the case. The first step is taking a step to get help. I went through a period of trying to medicate myself with alcohol and overeating and went a few years in a zombie like state. I never felt like killing myself or anything like that but did feel like it wasn't worth getting out of bed except to go to work. I was barely functioning. I will tell you that if you reach out and take 1 step - whether it be telling a friend (or writing on this forum) , talking to your regular physician (he can refer you) or looking for help in the mental health area you will be doing yourself a big favor. Believe me, IT DOES GET BETTER!!!

    If you would like to pm me, feel free to do so or add me to your friend list. I'm wishing you the best and you're in my thoughts and prayers.
  • annew1952
    annew1952 Posts: 77 Member
    It does sound like depression to me as well. I suffer from it also and I have been on meds and go to talk therapy.
    I inherited it from my mother. But I was in denial for many years and didnt go for help until I was in my 40's.
    I started around your age. I would speak to your physician an express what bothers you. Don't ignore. We
    are all here to talk. Good luck.
  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
    I agree with many of the comments made, it does sound very much like clinical depression and effective treatment (meds or therapy) is available. As you have stress too I recommend cognitive behaivour therapy (CBT) as it has an evidence base for both depression and anxiety. If you live in the UK CBT is now accessible via your GP in most areas. Self help is also quite effective as long as the problem is not too severe so I'll post a link to some free online courses. There's one for depression, one for worry and one for low self esteem (not sure if this is a problem for you or whether your comment about lack of confidence was referring to someting else).
    http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

    Whatever you chose to do, please ake action soon as these kind of mood problems do tend to get into a negative cycle quite quickly. Often it feels like it's just you, but you'll find as soon as you start making some positive steps that small improvements follow. Exercise in particular is really useful so that's a great start. Good luck :flowerforyou: