Why do they do it?

jewol
jewol Posts: 74 Member
edited December 17 in Health and Weight Loss
In the past 45 days or so, I have managed to shed about 20 pounds, overcoming the gravitational pull of the office vending machines in the process. Colleagues, however, are proving more problematic. I have turned aside offers of everything from doughnuts to spice cakes. Yesterday, though, one of my female colleagues brought in a huge container of peanut butter fudge. Today, what had been iron-willed discipline crumpled and I yielded to temptation. Big time. I ate three pieces. When I looked up the calorie count on that, I nearly went into cardiac arrest.

I know I am responsible for my own behavior, but I can't help but ask, Why do our "friends" and colleagues do this to us?

Now, tonight, I get to go home and do penance with a 45-minute run...

Replies

  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
    only someone who is blaming other people would think that they are doing it "to you".

    They are just doing it. You are eating it.

    People like to make people happy, in a lot of places this means they bring food in.
  • myak623
    myak623 Posts: 615 Member
    Don't stress too much. You should enjoy the treats occasionally. I would probably always partake in the treats as long as I still stay under calories and my carbs/fats/protein numbers are in order.

    But, if it still causes concern, you are good to exercise those calories away.
  • jldaley09
    jldaley09 Posts: 219 Member
    I think some people feel less guilt when they indulge with others around. Its so easy to put goodies on the break table and watch everyone else eat them too. Its the nature of the beast.. when I walk into work and see stacks of cookies it is so hard.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,455 Member
    The saying "No" part does get easier, honest.
  • kanmuri
    kanmuri Posts: 112
    We're not doing it to you, I swear. I bring food to the office all the time. I just love to bake and share. I'm a feeder ;)
  • sfoxy219
    sfoxy219 Posts: 103
    I personally love to bake but i don't need tons of baked goods around the house. So I used to bring them to work and let others have some too. Moderation, there is nothing wrong with having 1 piece of fudge. She didn't make you eat 3. I agree it sucks and it's very hard to avoid but it can be done.
  • howekaren
    howekaren Posts: 159 Member
    For me, I love to cook. In particular, I love to bake. I also have a tremendous sweet tooth. That being said, I also like to make people happy, and that usually happens when I share what I've made. If I'm taking it to the office, though, I don't usually take it around. I'll make a circle to those that I know appreciate it and let them know it's in the lunch room, but I don't go door to door and pawn it off. That way, if someone wants to decline, I don't have to worry that they're taking some to appease me or I'm spoiling someone's diet. Now that I'm watching my own intake a lot more closely, I don't bake anywhere near as often as I used to and I steer clear of the "candy counter" in the print room. After all, that's mostly what got me to where I was to begin with! I've got very little willpower myself, and I'd probably do the same as you did.
  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
    It is fun to share treats, plus a lot of times people share in order to not eat it all, themselves! It's okay to enjoy a treat. Giving yourself permission to eat a very small portion of an office treat (like one piece of fudge) once or twice a week, working it into your calorie allowance/burn plan, will help you blend right into the office without having the occasional guilty "break down". Your willpower will get stronger, and it IS easier if it doesn't have to always be an iron will.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    People bring stuff into our office all the time. I just don't eat it. I have available what I should eat and I'm too lazy to leave the office to eat lunch out. Solves all my problems. Just don't eat it...learn to say no. Let people know you are trying to live healthy. Eventually they will respect that and back off.
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    I normally grab a piece of whatever is offered, eat half and offer someone else the rest by saying, "mmm did you try this!? Here, you gotta taste this."

    Then the problem is out of my hands.
  • Karalopolous
    Karalopolous Posts: 574
    They're not thinking about your diet, that's all. I've never been a baker, but those who are just are proud of their baking accomplishments and want to share. It's a way to spread love, and good will. But, it's difficult for those of us who are trying to be good. The owner's dad at my job would CONSTANTLY bring in panzcki and kolacky and allll kinds of good things bc he was a sweet old man. Just in their nature :)
  • lipglossjunky73
    lipglossjunky73 Posts: 497 Member
    We as a culture put a lot of value into the sharing of food... Especially for special occasions.

    Instead of declining, I help myself. I put it on a plate, or a napkin, and tell them I am saving it for later, or after lunch, etc.

    I don't eat it, but they don't need to know that. Sure, I am wasting food, but better in the garbage then packed into my thighs.
  • beatlesfan31
    beatlesfan31 Posts: 66 Member
    I read an ariticle in the NYT recently about willpower and how it has been proved to be a depletable resource. So, don't be upset with yourself. We can't de everything perfectly all of the time and that's okay. Try for the 80/20 rule and I think you'll be fine. I do know what you mean though. I just avoid the breakroom at work these days to spare myself the torment.
  • str8bowbabe
    str8bowbabe Posts: 712 Member
    In the past 45 days or so, I have managed to shed about 20 pounds, overcoming the gravitational pull of the office vending machines in the process. Colleagues, however, are proving more problematic. I have turned aside offers of everything from doughnuts to spice cakes. Yesterday, though, one of my female colleagues brought in a huge container of peanut butter fudge. Today, what had been iron-willed discipline crumpled and I yielded to temptation. Big time. I ate three pieces. When I looked up the calorie count on that, I nearly went into cardiac arrest.

    I know I am responsible for my own behavior, but I can't help but ask, Why do our "friends" and colleagues do this to us?

    Now, tonight, I get to go home and do penance with a 45-minute run...

    Do not feel bad...I can over look most of the stuff that the guys wives send in so they dont eat them but sometimes I just have to give in. I think most of us are the same way...we all have our weaknesses.
  • jilliew
    jilliew Posts: 255 Member
    I had this problem at my office, too. I'm the only one in the department who is really overweight and needs to lose some serious pounds; the other girls range from stick thin to I-could-lose-5-pounds, and none of them were really concerned with their food intake (obviously, by the amount of cake and cookies that found their way into our office.) I faught back by introducing my whole department to MFP, and encouraged them to keep track of their calories for a few days to see how much they actually eat. Guess what? After seeing how many calories are in that little piece of chocolate fudge cake, they don't bake as much anymore. *evil laugh*
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    This happens to me a lot.. My friends/family even get mad at me when I don't have any of whatever they're having, I think some people may think that if your at maybe a party and not eating they feel they wasted money on food (although I warn people in advance and bring in some of my own stuff for everyone) or that your bringing everyone down by trying to be serious.
  • angeldaae
    angeldaae Posts: 348 Member
    It’s incredibly narcissistic to think she brought in the fudge for the sole purpose of sabotaging your diet.

    She made some candy and wanted to share. Get over yourself and take ownership of your choices.
  • bunnzye2
    bunnzye2 Posts: 56
    MFP members are making you shoulder your own responsibilities!! I'm like that too, I blame those who bring stuff like that because if they bring it, I eat it. I'll say "they know I'm trying to work on this weight" but I have to realize, they are not thinking about me and my problems!! They are sharing out of kindness and if I indulge too much, its my fault not theirs. I meant to say WHEN I indulge too much. It will get easier like many replies said. I'm living proof.
  • jessicawrites
    jessicawrites Posts: 235 Member
    I'm a baker, too, when I have time, and I swear I am not *intentionally* wrecking anyone's diet. I can't finish a batch of cookies or a cake alone (or even with my super-slim fiance's help) before it goes stale, so I share. Office, family, class. I try to spread it around so everyone gets some (and so no one has to face too much temptation), but I have to agree with the overall consensus here--treat yourself sometimes, but if I come in with cookies and you take three or four, don't blame the baker! :)
  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
    only someone who is blaming other people would think that they are doing it "to you".

    They are just doing it. You are eating it.

    People like to make people happy, in a lot of places this means they bring food in.

    Agreed. You are thinking about what you're eating. They may not be so to them it is just a very kind gesture. Not a planned sabotage.
  • tmlandis
    tmlandis Posts: 39 Member
    For me, I love to cook. In particular, I love to bake. I also have a tremendous sweet tooth. That being said, I also like to make people happy, and that usually happens when I share what I've made. If I'm taking it to the office, though, I don't usually take it around. I'll make a circle to those that I know appreciate it and let them know it's in the lunch room, but I don't go door to door and pawn it off. That way, if someone wants to decline, I don't have to worry that they're taking some to appease me or I'm spoiling someone's diet. Now that I'm watching my own intake a lot more closely, I don't bake anywhere near as often as I used to and I steer clear of the "candy counter" in the print room. After all, that's mostly what got me to where I was to begin with! I've got very little willpower myself, and I'd probably do the same as you did.

    ^^^^^^^^ this. I love, love, love to cook and bake. I don't want it all in my house! So I bring it to work. For some people, food is love, they push food to show love (my MIL for example) and then feel hurt if you don't want it. Others do try to sabotage. It's a crapshoot really. A treat every now and then won't wreck you, don't feel all guilty. Just log it and drive on!
  • ladynica
    ladynica Posts: 329 Member
    Don't eat any of it for 30 days. If you can make it those first 30 days (or at the very least the first 21) and then you try to eat that stuff, your body won't even like the taste of it.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    from now on, look up the calorie count first & post it right on the container. That way you and everybody else can see it - perhaps more than one thinking person will get the hint
    fight fire with fire, i always say
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
    I'm right there with you. There is a guy in our accounting office that I swear is out to get me. Brings in something at LEAST 3 times a week, whether it's cookies, donuts, brownies, cake....He posts the sign right where I walk in: Today-Thursday, HOMEMADE BROWNIES!! Then you see all the skinny people of the company running around cramming brownies in their mouths, and all I can think is "WHY????" The other day I was tempted to give in, but fortunately got distracted and forgot all about it.
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    Nobody's doing it 'to you'. Your colleague didn't bring in the fudge, hold you down and then ram it down your throat. They brought it in for everyone and you chose to partake in some of it. Hold nobody accountable but yourself.
  • beckajw
    beckajw Posts: 1,728 Member
    They aren't doing anything to you.

    People celebrate with food. It is what brings people together. It's often comforting.

    They probably believe they are doing something nice. I am sure that there are many in the office who are thankful when someone brings some food in.

    If you don't want it, that's you. If they want it, that's them.

    You're responsible for you.
  • DisneySkaGirl
    DisneySkaGirl Posts: 161
    Today, my office collegues are eating bratwust and sauerkraut... I can easily say no to that. If its something I like, I usually try a small bit, but I've said no so much that now the majority of the office isn't offended, they just recognize that I eat healthy ad that isn't changing.

    It gets easier to say no, and they'll learn to not offer. Just keep with it!
  • jewol
    jewol Posts: 74 Member
    Thanks, folks, for the input. I guess I need to ... uhm ... lighten up. Incidentally, I did make up for my indiscretion with an evening workout. So, all's well that ends well. I guess what I should take away from this experience is the realization that some of the most calorie rich food comes in deceptive (i.e., small) packages. Experience -- Oscar Wilde said that's what we call our mistakes. :)
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