So I'm thinking of changing my name to doormat...

Pengi81
Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'll try and explain this as briefly as possible.

2 years ago my partner and I shared a tiny 2 bed flat (apartment) with our 2 friends. They had a baby due in February the following year so moved out in the December and got their own place.

They had the baby, lived there for almost a year but the landlord decided he needed the house back so they went and stayed with other friends, up until recently when it turned out so-called-friend was being a nightmare to live with and a malicious vindictive creep - so we've now got them back again.

There is now 5 of us living in a 2 bedroom poky flat/apartment. Originally it was meant to be for a week as told our landlord (he is nice but in the long run the place isn't suitable for babies/children) but now they can't/won't find anywhere else to house them and expecting to stay on for another week.

My concern is that the landlord won't be OK with this and it will make him start causing problems with what has so far been trouble free living. Now, I'm not that heartless to want them out on the street as they have a baby and the mum is pregnant again, but there's only so much I can take of having my personal space invaded.

What would you do in this situation? I feel like tearing my hair out sometimes because there is just not enough room for us all -especially when the four of us adults are all overweight! Am I being OTT or am I right to be concerned about what the landlord is going to say if they stay on for another week?

I don't want snidey answers please - just some constructive criticism if you do think I'm being irrational.

Replies

  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    From what I hear it is harder to find a place when you have young children. If they are only going to be there one more week, I'd just put up with it, but maybe ask them to give you some privacy at certain times. Maybe they can go out to a movie or to a park to give you some time alone.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    You are right with being concerned. I'm very "against" letting anyone move in with my fiance and I, unless they FOR SURE will leave when they say they will, and not any longer than a month. Otherwise I will turn into a crazy person, and force them out :devil:

    But that's just me :bigsmile:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    Do they work? Can they not afford to find a new place??? Are you charging them rent?

    So far, I'm not helpful, but am curious. :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
    The mum works, father due to start working in a couple weeks.

    We're not sub-letting (not allowed) but they are eating our food and wasting a lot of it

    And to i_love_vinega - you're right - I won't let them go on the street as they have a child and expecting - it's just unfortunate our local council are really crap with sorting out housing for the right people and instead giving it to the chain smoking, alcoholic, gambling ASBO Chav single mums!
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    So, they can't afford their own place so then they have a baby and still have no real home so they get pregnant again and are crashing at your tiny place? They're mooching. You need to give them a deadline. They are just going to keep having kids they can't afford and expecting you to help them out so the kids aren't in the street. They need to get 2 or 3 jobs each, stop having kids they can't afford, and act like the adults they are pretending to be.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
    Doormat, i wonder if they would accept that name at the DMV
  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
    Doormat, i wonder if they would accept that name at the DMV

    If I changed it legally they'd have to! :happy:
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    Use the landlord as your excuse to have them leave.
  • s1lence
    s1lence Posts: 493
    It does sound like they are mooching off of you, especially since they are eating your food and wasting it. Giving a deadline is a great idea, though it may sound a bit heartless, they need to see that not only are they invading your space but they could be making it more difficult to get along with your landlord. Make it so they can't make excuses by helping them look for a place of their own. This gives them the knowledge that you are concerned with where they live and would like to see their growing family in a place of their own. It would do no one any good if the landlord evicted you because they didn't leave when they were suppose to.

    Talk to your landlord, explain the situation and try to get a small extension on how long they can stay. If you have made an agreement with your friends about the deadline then mention that to the landlord in a way that doesn't sound like you expect it. I believe the more honest and quick to come to landlords with situations the easier things are to deal with.

    If you think that talking to your friends will not work, make a contract that they have to comply with, this way you are still able to say you are working with them as friends but you have to cover yourself- a contract makes it possible to say "you agreed to do this by this time" instead of just going off of friends saying something. You said you can't sub-lease, but that doesn't mean that they can just stay as prolonged guests forever, don't charge them anything just make them pay for what they use- ie your food. Since the mother has a job, she can buy some of her own food for her family. Yes saving for a place is important and should be done but she needs to be buying their own food and not relying on you for everything.
  • Pifflesmom
    Pifflesmom Posts: 134 Member
    Use the landlord as your excuse to have them leave.

    This - you certainly don't wind up having your landlord angry with you because of them. They're leeches and they need to go. Give them a couple of days and that's it. Put your foot down!!
  • KrisyKat
    KrisyKat Posts: 740 Member
    Kudos to you and your partner for helping out your friends in a time of need!! I'm sure your roommates are very appreciative of your help wouldn't be offended if you did some rental research of your own. Maybe looking through the ads to help them find a suitable place would motivate them to be proactive about the situation? Also, ask friends, family members, and co-workers (as well as your landlord) if they know of such a rental. Some of the best houses/apartments are secured through such acquaintances.

    Do you feel they taking advantage of your hospitality? If so, things could get ugly and friendships could be lost. Since it's so important to prevent this from happening, I'd say a "little push" is in order!!

    Best of luck to you and yours! :flowerforyou:
  • Pengi81
    Pengi81 Posts: 336 Member
    Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom

    I think I'm going to have a word with my partner tonight and hopefully tomorrow night we can have an intervention with the other two and get this sorted.

    I know it sounds harsh - but I kind of want them gone by the end of the week.

    And I've got no problem with the baby, he's good and hardly makes a noise, it's actually the mum and dad getting all up in my face/personal space and that's what I have the big issue with. I can't be in the bathroom for 3 minutes without one of them saying "are you going to be long?" At least when it's just me and my partner we have no qualms about bathroom sharing!

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