Ending a relationship for your own good.

Options
Margentine
Margentine Posts: 113 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm at a crossroads right now . I know I should end the relationship but at times I don't feel strong enough to do it.
I think of all the people involved and all the plans we had yet I know It's not my place to be .
I think of the pain and that I will miss this person , I get so anxious. I have never dumped anyone.

Can anyone understand How I'm feeling :(
«1

Replies

  • mightymom2
    mightymom2 Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    yes i can relate, you think of all the reasons to stay which don't mesure up to all the reasons to leave, but you have to do what is right for you in the long run, as difficult as it is, just do it for yourself

    good luck to you
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
    Options
    I know exactly what you mean. Be true to yourself, whichever direction you choose. :flowerforyou:
  • lyssamichelle
    lyssamichelle Posts: 1,307 Member
    Options
    I understand how you must be feeling, I've been in a situation similar. I'm sure you're a strong person & in the end I think you'll do what's best for you. After time it will get better.. (:
  • betsyr13
    betsyr13 Posts: 45 Member
    Options
    I know how hard it is to go through with it, but when it's time...you just have to do it. It'll hurt, but if you've thought it through and you know it is ultimately what is best, you will get through the pain.

    Sorry you're in this situation. Best of luck to you.
  • katiej122
    katiej122 Posts: 125 Member
    Options
    It took me months to break up with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. But you shouldnt have to stay with him for fear of being lonely. If the relationship was right you would be able to feel it. It's the hardest thing but sometimes you have to do these things :( If you're anything like me you'll feel like a huge part of you has been taken away and you won't feel like you can cope on your own.
    But you really can. I guarantee you're stronger than you think, sometimes it takes being out of a relationship to realise that.
    I'm really sorry you're going through this, feel free to message me or something if you'd like to talk about it.
    Good luck :)
  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
    Options
    ah youth and the things we do to avoid being alone...

    Living a lie and pretending is more insulting and hurtful than flat out dumping someone. They will thank you for it later.

    Regards.
  • cdnmom1
    cdnmom1 Posts: 27
    Options
    Never settle for BTN...better than nothing (no one) And if you're waiting for a good time to do this, forget it...it's never a good time. I've been there and seen it totally different once I was out of the situation.
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    ((Hugs)) My relationship of 6 yrs just ended and we are filing divorce..Honestly I felt like you for 3 yrs and stayed unhappy and it was only hurting me..Do what best for you.. that is all that matters:) It is NOT easy
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    Options
    Just do it. It's important for you and them. Yes, it's difficult to do. But, it has to be done.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    The sooner you get out of the way, the sooner he or she can get to work on moving on and rebuilding those dreams (or new ones) with someone else. Leaving my fiance was the best thing I ever did for both of us. I have had the most amazing life in these years without him dragging me into his comfort zone. I learned so much about myself, know who I am, have become the woman I always knew I was. He got what he wanted from someone else. We're both happy.
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    Thanks for you responses, I can't really get into details but we are constanly trying to make things work and they are not.
    I think we are both worn out . We are adults and we seem to care for each other but our personalities are to hard-headed.

    We have both tried...
    But we have trouble communicating and it gets frustrating.
    I'm not an emotionaly dependent person ..for I quiet enjoy being single , All the time we have invested almost 2 years ..
    thank you , just needed to vent a little on this matter.
  • jcriscuolo
    jcriscuolo Posts: 319 Member
    Options
    I think you know the answer to your situation. But it is so hard to face reality sometimes. Be strong and do what's right for you in the long run. Best of luck.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Options
    You are gonna feel so much better once it's over. It's just hard to make that first move. You'll look back and wonder what took you so long. Good luck! :heart:
  • Margentine
    Margentine Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    The sooner you get out of the way, the sooner he or she can get to work on moving on and rebuilding those dreams (or new ones) with someone else. Leaving my fiance was the best thing I ever did for both of us. I have had the most amazing life in these years without him dragging me into his comfort zone. I learned so much about myself, know who I am, have become the woman I always knew I was. He got what he wanted from someone else. We're both happy.


    Comfort zone that all him too.
    I feel like my personality is drained by him. I'm different and not so excited about life as he has a different view on life . He is full of "BUTS"
  • FitinFiveMonths
    FitinFiveMonths Posts: 63
    Options
    I actually am newly single, well me and my partner decided to take a break after 2 1/2 years, so i can understand.
    you really have to ask yourself if your happy in the relationship and if you aren't, if there are things worth fixing within the relationship. i know its difficult to do so, but i really recommend sitting down and talking to your partner and seeing if they have similar feelings, and really getting your opinion and voice out there, they wont know how your feeling unless you talk to them. if they really care, they should be understanding.

    good luck girl, i know its hard, but youll get through it
  • toriaenator
    toriaenator Posts: 423 Member
    Options
    DO IT! it will suck temporarily, but then the feeling of relief and freedom will be amazing. don't ever settle, life is just too short!
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    Options
    Staying married for as long as I did was the worst mistake of my life. It has cost me both emotionally and financially. I can replace money, but I can't replace the time I spent being with the wrong person. Who knows what would have really happened if I would have let go when I first saw the signs.
  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    Staying married for as long as I did was the worst mistake of my life. It has cost me both emotionally and financially. I can replace money, but I can't replace the time I spent being with the wrong person. Who knows what would have really happened if I would have let go when I first saw the signs.

    ^^ I feel the same way looking back on it now:)
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    The sooner you get out of the way, the sooner he or she can get to work on moving on and rebuilding those dreams (or new ones) with someone else. Leaving my fiance was the best thing I ever did for both of us. I have had the most amazing life in these years without him dragging me into his comfort zone. I learned so much about myself, know who I am, have become the woman I always knew I was. He got what he wanted from someone else. We're both happy.


    Comfort zone that all him too.
    I feel like my personality is drained by him. I'm different and not so excited about life as he has a different view on life . He is full of "BUTS"
    Yup. Same here. I felt trapped with him. The more comfort he felt, the more miserable I was. The more I tried to break free, the more he tried to hold on tighter. The breaking point for me was when I realized that by completing college, I would change so drastically that we would not be able to communicate at all. I chose my education, my freedom, and even solitude for a while. I have not regretted it. I feel like I can make anything amazing happen, and I have. It's such a change from the sheltered misery I had with him.

    It's difficult because you love him, but you're really doing him a favor. It was painful to see mine suffer. He was (and still is) a good person. We were just not good for each other. When you do it, be sure to not communicate with him for any reason unless legal or financial for a LONG time (I say about a year or until he is happy in a relationship with someone else). Even checking to see how he's doing sends mixed signals and is painful. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's all about respecting his need to grieve and heal. I really wish you luck. It's not easy, but it does get better.
  • lilstarz2284
    lilstarz2284 Posts: 28
    Options
    I very much understand...I was in a similar situation a year n a half ago and I felt really bad and anxious about ending it. I cared about him a lot and he was a great guy but I just wasn't in love with him..I loved him but like a friend not like someone I wanted to spend my life and have kids with and because of that I felt guilty and was miserable...we didn't communicate well at all and argued because of it but I had been in several ****ty relationships and felt like I should try and make it work because he was a good guy and because he had been hurt in the past too and I wanted him to be happy..it totally sux but u shouldn't stay with someone out of convenience or guilt...it took me awhile to end it and it was definetly hard but looking back on it I made the right desicion...don't worry about plans you made or how other people will react..if its not meant to be then its not meant to be and you will both be better off in the end....I was fortunate that after almost a year we were able to talk about things and agree that ending it was for the best and now we are friends...I really hope everything works out for u and if you need to talk feel free to message me...good luck!!

Categories