Can't stop sabotaging myself

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marissalaloo
marissalaloo Posts: 3
in Health and Weight Loss
I am miserable at my weight and really want to lose but I can't stop sabotaging my diet. For years I have had mild success at dieting and then thrown it away. How can I stop the cycle of binge eating when I'm sad and wrecking my progress?
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Replies

  • missmalice_
    missmalice_ Posts: 2
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    Start a journal to write your feelings? Or go to a gym to work through your feelings and not eat them. Even posting on here keeps your hands busy so you might find reaching out to friends might help you a lot.
  • Hickyvikki69
    Hickyvikki69 Posts: 371 Member
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    u can do it! just exercise alot if it helps.
  • xyril
    xyril Posts: 80 Member
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    The best thing would be to keep a journal. Even though I keep messing up, I try to find out why I went back to my old habits and then work to fix it. So perhaps this will help you as well.
  • metco89
    metco89 Posts: 578 Member
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    I am right there with you. For years i have always had some measure of success with it and then boom sabotage, every single time. I am thinking i might be using my weight as a tool to keep ppl away from me. I know that sounds crazy but I have really been thinking about it alot and I have lost so many ppl in my life i almost scared to let anyone get close to me. I am back on MFP and determined not sabotage this time. I have been posting my struggles and small successes, and receive alot of support here. You have definitely came to the right site. Lets do this!!!:drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/562727-the-power-of-positive-thinking
  • OneLostSock
    OneLostSock Posts: 82
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    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/562727-the-power-of-positive-thinking

    Fab post!!
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    You have to love yourself and believe you are worth the effort. Forgiveness when you slip is also an important step in your journey.
  • jenkinsdeb
    jenkinsdeb Posts: 44
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    I get depression, and I find having a personal trainer really helps me as then I have some1 to be accountable to. Also then I earn more calories to eat lol, I couldnt get by only on the allocated1200 calories, if I dont eat the calories ive earned at the gym. Not very good english. I hope you understand what I mean.
    Debs j
  • JodieElijah
    JodieElijah Posts: 136 Member
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    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but its pretty much what a friend said to me recently when I was whinging about my lack of weight loss.

    Stop making excuses and just do it.

    Pretty straight forward. Take it slowly. You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself that you can.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    Therapy has been helpful for me. There are underlying reasons why I don't want to be a "normal" weight/body and now that I know what they are, I can address the actual problem--and my eating patterns are slowly starting to change.
  • jj3120
    jj3120 Posts: 358
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    For me eating more has helped - it made me look at what I eat and make healthy changes, and knowing I CAN eat has made a big difference in what I eat, I know I'm going to be eating regularly and that if I'm hungry I can have something without it sending me into 'I've had one so I might as well eat the rest' frame of mind.
  • Zoe_N
    Zoe_N Posts: 1
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    I can relate to that totally, A couple of years ago I was the same, desperately wanted to lose weight but would sabotage my own efforts before I would start. I was sad too. In desperation I ended up seeing a clinical hypnotherapist. After 6 sessions of her simply listening to me while I was in a state of hypnosis, linking all my emotions from one situation to another, I suddenly blurted out why I was sabotaging myself. It was a great release for me. I'm now a much happier, confident person in all aspects of my life. The whole diet aspect still isn't a walk in the park but my mind is working with me now and now i've found MFP to count calories easily and fibit to record my calories burned, i'm really going to achieve this! Perhaps you need to find the reason why subconciously your mind doesn't want to play ball? Good luck. xx
  • thomo71
    thomo71 Posts: 21
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    I eat when I get angry, sad, happy but you've got to put your true feelings first. We've got a multitude of personalities inside us and it depends which is the strongest.
    I had a disagreement with someone yesterday, went to fill the car up at the garage, normally I'd think sod it I need a chocolate bar, but a loud voice in my head said NOOOOOO!!! and I listened. I felt good about it. When I got home I put my boxing gloves on and did a mini workout, I felt so much better. Maybe this could help you? Put them gloves on and work out the sabotager inside you. Also visualistion my help? Keep visualising the new you, what are you wearing. where are you going? Make it bright and colourful. Or you could use distractions, run a bath, clean your teeth, go for a walk. You will feel so much better!!:smile:
  • ansley341
    ansley341 Posts: 37 Member
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    I think once you start losing a little and see how rewarding that feeling is that will be encouragement enough (most of the time)
    Also, with emotional eating it stems from psychological reasons not hunger. People over eat to supress or avoid their emotions. You should keep track and be aware of times that make you over eat for some its depression, fear ect (me it was stress, exam time in uni was ugly) If you are aware of the cause it will be easier for you to control it
  • x__abbi__x
    x__abbi__x Posts: 97 Member
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    When im feeling bad I have a cheat day (I do limit these to once every 2weeks though so I have to be feeling really awful)
    Other times I have a small chunk of choc or a small glass of alcohol. Not many calories but cheers me up.
    Also started to exercise to vent my frustration... Jillian Michaels is great for this.
    You will feel much better if you work through feeing crappy without binging on food.
    Have you been docs? They might be able to help xx
  • Raina27
    Raina27 Posts: 133
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    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but its pretty much what a friend said to me recently when I was whinging about my lack of weight loss.

    Stop making excuses and just do it.

    Pretty straight forward. Take it slowly. You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself that you can.

    This!! You just have to want to lose weight bad enough!! I pretty much let myself go but now I'm determined more than EVER to lose this weight!! Good luck on your journey! :)
  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
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    The most important thing I have learned is to do things one day at a time. You can do anything for one day.

    Fancy some chocolate? Not today, maybe another day.

    Those days add up really quick.
  • Masterdo
    Masterdo Posts: 331 Member
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    Why do you want to lose weight? What will you do differently when you are at your goal weight? Are you starting to do these things already?

    If the answer is "nothing", or you haven't thought about it really, then I think you might be setting yourself for failure. Losing weight for the sake of losing weight or for general "better health" is sooo easy to drop from... After all, you'll die one day regardless...

    Now if you have fitness goals, include activities that are currently hard for you to do but progressively get easier, that's tons of positive reinforcement during your whole journey, and THAT is the kind of things that will help you do it, and maintain your weight and lifestyle when you make it.

    Losing weight to be a "nicer looking couch potato" was definitely too hard for me to do for the past 4 years, maybe it also is for you :p

    Good luck!
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
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    I've been looking at compulsive over-eating and one of the suggestions (along with therapy and stuff) is to eat small and regularly. I'm aware this may take me over calories but, I've decided that going a little over calories is far, far better than eating a massive takeaway, blindly munching on crisps and chocolate, 'treating myself' with other huge and highly calorific stuff etc.
    I know that it may slow down my loss but I'm at the point I don't care now.
    I have to work with what I know and...hunger + negative emotion = eating way more than I should. By eating more regularly and not saving up the cals for three meals will help curb the 'hunger' aspect of it and, as others have suggested, keeping a journal will help me release emotions and indentify triggers.
    I hope you find your own way - friend me if you would like to. I'm a completely compulsive/emotional over-eater who is now so fed-up with it too. I'm hoping my strategy will help me. I have to do this slow and steady as I'm extremely good at losing and then gaining...for me to avoid the gain I know I have to do things almost to the point I don't notice...if that makes any sense.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,366 Member
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    Stop dieting and be honest with yourself - the way you eat is why you're overweight. You can't change it for a little while, then return to it and seriously believe you'll maintain any weight loss. Once you're understand that you absolutely must change the way you eat - no going back, you will stick with the eating plan of your choice. You can lose weight eating garbage, as long as you're within your calorie goal. However, you need to be able to maintain this way of eating for the rest of your life. So pick something you're comfortable with, and make it happen.

    Personally, I eat whatever I want, but I don't eat multiple servings. When I bulk out on calories, I exercise hard that day. Some people prefer to eat healthfully all the time and have a "cheat day". Cheat days are bad for me. See what works for you. Be sure to log, even on days you mess up.

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