Can't stop sabotaging myself

I am miserable at my weight and really want to lose but I can't stop sabotaging my diet. For years I have had mild success at dieting and then thrown it away. How can I stop the cycle of binge eating when I'm sad and wrecking my progress?

Replies

  • Start a journal to write your feelings? Or go to a gym to work through your feelings and not eat them. Even posting on here keeps your hands busy so you might find reaching out to friends might help you a lot.
  • Hickyvikki69
    Hickyvikki69 Posts: 371 Member
    u can do it! just exercise alot if it helps.
  • xyril
    xyril Posts: 80 Member
    The best thing would be to keep a journal. Even though I keep messing up, I try to find out why I went back to my old habits and then work to fix it. So perhaps this will help you as well.
  • metco89
    metco89 Posts: 578 Member
    I am right there with you. For years i have always had some measure of success with it and then boom sabotage, every single time. I am thinking i might be using my weight as a tool to keep ppl away from me. I know that sounds crazy but I have really been thinking about it alot and I have lost so many ppl in my life i almost scared to let anyone get close to me. I am back on MFP and determined not sabotage this time. I have been posting my struggles and small successes, and receive alot of support here. You have definitely came to the right site. Lets do this!!!:drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
    You have to love yourself and believe you are worth the effort. Forgiveness when you slip is also an important step in your journey.
  • I get depression, and I find having a personal trainer really helps me as then I have some1 to be accountable to. Also then I earn more calories to eat lol, I couldnt get by only on the allocated1200 calories, if I dont eat the calories ive earned at the gym. Not very good english. I hope you understand what I mean.
    Debs j
  • JodieElijah
    JodieElijah Posts: 136 Member
    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but its pretty much what a friend said to me recently when I was whinging about my lack of weight loss.

    Stop making excuses and just do it.

    Pretty straight forward. Take it slowly. You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself that you can.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    Therapy has been helpful for me. There are underlying reasons why I don't want to be a "normal" weight/body and now that I know what they are, I can address the actual problem--and my eating patterns are slowly starting to change.
  • jj3120
    jj3120 Posts: 358
    For me eating more has helped - it made me look at what I eat and make healthy changes, and knowing I CAN eat has made a big difference in what I eat, I know I'm going to be eating regularly and that if I'm hungry I can have something without it sending me into 'I've had one so I might as well eat the rest' frame of mind.
  • Zoe_N
    Zoe_N Posts: 1
    I can relate to that totally, A couple of years ago I was the same, desperately wanted to lose weight but would sabotage my own efforts before I would start. I was sad too. In desperation I ended up seeing a clinical hypnotherapist. After 6 sessions of her simply listening to me while I was in a state of hypnosis, linking all my emotions from one situation to another, I suddenly blurted out why I was sabotaging myself. It was a great release for me. I'm now a much happier, confident person in all aspects of my life. The whole diet aspect still isn't a walk in the park but my mind is working with me now and now i've found MFP to count calories easily and fibit to record my calories burned, i'm really going to achieve this! Perhaps you need to find the reason why subconciously your mind doesn't want to play ball? Good luck. xx
  • thomo71
    thomo71 Posts: 20 Member
    I eat when I get angry, sad, happy but you've got to put your true feelings first. We've got a multitude of personalities inside us and it depends which is the strongest.
    I had a disagreement with someone yesterday, went to fill the car up at the garage, normally I'd think sod it I need a chocolate bar, but a loud voice in my head said NOOOOOO!!! and I listened. I felt good about it. When I got home I put my boxing gloves on and did a mini workout, I felt so much better. Maybe this could help you? Put them gloves on and work out the sabotager inside you. Also visualistion my help? Keep visualising the new you, what are you wearing. where are you going? Make it bright and colourful. Or you could use distractions, run a bath, clean your teeth, go for a walk. You will feel so much better!!:smile:
  • ansley341
    ansley341 Posts: 37 Member
    I think once you start losing a little and see how rewarding that feeling is that will be encouragement enough (most of the time)
    Also, with emotional eating it stems from psychological reasons not hunger. People over eat to supress or avoid their emotions. You should keep track and be aware of times that make you over eat for some its depression, fear ect (me it was stress, exam time in uni was ugly) If you are aware of the cause it will be easier for you to control it
  • x__abbi__x
    x__abbi__x Posts: 97 Member
    When im feeling bad I have a cheat day (I do limit these to once every 2weeks though so I have to be feeling really awful)
    Other times I have a small chunk of choc or a small glass of alcohol. Not many calories but cheers me up.
    Also started to exercise to vent my frustration... Jillian Michaels is great for this.
    You will feel much better if you work through feeing crappy without binging on food.
    Have you been docs? They might be able to help xx
  • Raina27
    Raina27 Posts: 133
    Sorry if this sounds harsh, but its pretty much what a friend said to me recently when I was whinging about my lack of weight loss.

    Stop making excuses and just do it.

    Pretty straight forward. Take it slowly. You can do it, you just have to believe in yourself that you can.

    This!! You just have to want to lose weight bad enough!! I pretty much let myself go but now I'm determined more than EVER to lose this weight!! Good luck on your journey! :)
  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
    The most important thing I have learned is to do things one day at a time. You can do anything for one day.

    Fancy some chocolate? Not today, maybe another day.

    Those days add up really quick.
  • Masterdo
    Masterdo Posts: 331 Member
    Why do you want to lose weight? What will you do differently when you are at your goal weight? Are you starting to do these things already?

    If the answer is "nothing", or you haven't thought about it really, then I think you might be setting yourself for failure. Losing weight for the sake of losing weight or for general "better health" is sooo easy to drop from... After all, you'll die one day regardless...

    Now if you have fitness goals, include activities that are currently hard for you to do but progressively get easier, that's tons of positive reinforcement during your whole journey, and THAT is the kind of things that will help you do it, and maintain your weight and lifestyle when you make it.

    Losing weight to be a "nicer looking couch potato" was definitely too hard for me to do for the past 4 years, maybe it also is for you :p

    Good luck!
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
    I've been looking at compulsive over-eating and one of the suggestions (along with therapy and stuff) is to eat small and regularly. I'm aware this may take me over calories but, I've decided that going a little over calories is far, far better than eating a massive takeaway, blindly munching on crisps and chocolate, 'treating myself' with other huge and highly calorific stuff etc.
    I know that it may slow down my loss but I'm at the point I don't care now.
    I have to work with what I know and...hunger + negative emotion = eating way more than I should. By eating more regularly and not saving up the cals for three meals will help curb the 'hunger' aspect of it and, as others have suggested, keeping a journal will help me release emotions and indentify triggers.
    I hope you find your own way - friend me if you would like to. I'm a completely compulsive/emotional over-eater who is now so fed-up with it too. I'm hoping my strategy will help me. I have to do this slow and steady as I'm extremely good at losing and then gaining...for me to avoid the gain I know I have to do things almost to the point I don't notice...if that makes any sense.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Stop dieting and be honest with yourself - the way you eat is why you're overweight. You can't change it for a little while, then return to it and seriously believe you'll maintain any weight loss. Once you're understand that you absolutely must change the way you eat - no going back, you will stick with the eating plan of your choice. You can lose weight eating garbage, as long as you're within your calorie goal. However, you need to be able to maintain this way of eating for the rest of your life. So pick something you're comfortable with, and make it happen.

    Personally, I eat whatever I want, but I don't eat multiple servings. When I bulk out on calories, I exercise hard that day. Some people prefer to eat healthfully all the time and have a "cheat day". Cheat days are bad for me. See what works for you. Be sure to log, even on days you mess up.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    If you keep binging why dont you try just trying to change the way you eat. Eat healthier, have small amounts of 'binge' food. If you want a biscuit, have a biscuit, dont have 10, and eat healthily.
    If you cant manage restricting those foods, dont buy them. Just eat well, it doesnt mean 'dieting', it just means eating good foods which keep you full and arent utter junk.

    Think about it this way 'if you want to eat a lot, eat a little, so you're around to eat a lot'.
  • DaveC29
    DaveC29 Posts: 232 Member
    You cannot look at this as a diet either... It is a change in the way you live! Weight loss is not about just going on the next big diet- it's about getting, being and STAYING healthy! You have to find what works for you and DO IT!

    You have to want the change, you have to execute the change in yourself!

    YOU CAN DO IT!

    Some inspiration for you... This is the 2010 Detroit Marathon- The first third of this video is about a courageous woman who is DETERMINED TO CHANGE!! Made the commitment and wound up FINISHING a marathon! I am extremely proud of her willpower and determination!

    https://player.vimeo.com/video/30809156

    I am training for a marathon and hope I have half as much heart and determination as she does!

    You can do it!!
  • ourmamros
    ourmamros Posts: 21 Member
    hi
    I sometimes sabotage myself but i am learning how to stand fast when that little voice in my head says "one won't hurt" but I know I will eat the pack. I have less high calorie food available, I try to speak about the feelings which are pushing me that way. I tell myself I can have something unhealthy I want to eat but I need to earn the calories by doing something to burn them before I eat them!
    I also use Paul McKenna's technique where i hold my hands out in front of me and use one hand to remind myself why I want to change: use the other hand to talk through why my body might not want to change and then try and tell both of them that I need them to work together as I don't want to carry all this fat around for ever. I also promise the hand that does not want change that i will listen to its worries and promise to deal with it as it happens. Sounds bonkers but works for me. Another thing is to think why am I hungry - am I really hungry to eat food or is something eating me. Often it is not hunger with me and I try and work out what it is and deal with it. It is hard - I struggled this weekend and ate a few sweets I did not log, and an ice cream which i did log - but I did not go back for a second ice cream!!!! Small victory but that is the key. Small steps, small victories, one day at a time!
    Good luck with it - you can do it, in your own way in your own time but yes it is posslible.
  • Traci_33
    Traci_33 Posts: 21 Member
    there is a quote that I had posted where I can see it everyday "If you really want to do something, You'll find a Way. If you don't, You'll find an excuse" And it made me mad LOL When i saw it all I could think was FINE I"LL DO IT. so i would go do work out. whether it would be 45mins long or 10mins. I could feel better knowing I did something. And sometime the little workouts earlier in the day made me feel so much better that I could go back and do another one :wink: I am at a stand still right now. I haven't lost weight in weeks. But I am not giving up .Thanks to all my support here on MFP. I know it wont be easy but I am still willing to try my best... Are you with me ??? :happy:
  • hazelsmrf
    hazelsmrf Posts: 96 Member
    I highly recommend the book "Brain over Binge", it's seriously great. Also look into the podcast "Inside out Weight Loss", it's been helping me.
  • cantante35
    cantante35 Posts: 2 Member
    Oh my Gosh!! I do the same exact thing and have come to the conclusion that sabotaging myself is a way to keep others at bay. I've had alot of failures, pain, and heart break...it's hard to trust. I know there has to be a connection to the fear of losing the weight. Perhaps I am afraid the expectations of me will be higher... I'm not sure. But I am consistently struggling with this sabotage saga. I'm in hopes to get support here but more than anything understanding and possibly direction. Thank you for being honest, it helps ones like myself
  • cantante35
    cantante35 Posts: 2 Member
    Why do I hold on to my fat afraid to let it go...Is it a safe place? I'm so frustrated and confused.