How would you handle a child bully?

Does this girl go to your step-daughter's school? If so, Is it possible you could talk to one of her teachers, and perhaps the teacher could either talk to the girl, her parents, or could arrange a meeting for all of you to talk?

This type of situation makes me react before I think. I have a 15 yr old step son and if someone messed with him, they would feel the wrath of what a STEPMONSTER IS!

First off, I think that friend check is required...if she has friends on facebook....monitor it and find out who she is. Don't intervene on a conversation and embarass your SD even more. (If I read that correctly).

Do your own research, be proactive.

These situations are volatile because we are protective, so it's important to think before we react, we are not their Bio parents and as a result our abilities are a bit limited. We need to respect that, and instead reach out to our Stepkids to let them know that we are available ...... PERIOD!

Feel free to friend me and I wish you much love and luck in your resolutions to this.

If the girl is in your SD's class...talk the teacher and see if they can intervene. You can also try to get SD involved in after school activities...or...my favorite...self defense classes. Self defense classes can help build self confidence and she will also meet new people...and to sell it to her..it is a great for weight loss...;)

Contacting parents can go either way....this may come as a surprise but not all parents are.....qualified...lol. Best of luck to ya...it can be a tough road.

I used to be bullied at school.

I'm 35 now.

All the above was tried, parents got involved, teachers got involved.

Unfortunatly though the bullying would just continue when the adults were not around.

This kid even used to come over to my house and steal from the house. Even when caught he was banned from the house but the bullying would continue.

There was one thing and one thing alone that dealt with it.

One day I just said enough was enough. The bully pushed me into my locker and smacked my head against the metal door.

I stood up turned round and knocked him clean out in 1 punch.

From that day forward he tried to be my best friend because he thought I was effectively tougher than him.

Self defense classes would be good. They will help her confidence and she will know that she can physically stand up to this person. If a bully is scared they quite often back off as they don't want to loose face in front of those they think are weaker than them.

Violence is not always the answer but making the bully think you are tougher than them is.

Well thats my view.

My daughters are 4 and I will be starting them with me in self defense classes.

My message. If you can handle yourself you can stand up for yourself in any situation.

Something I use at work today when a manager is trying to push me into something that I can not get done in realistic time scales.

I am not scared to stand up to them and say this can't be done and I will not be held responsible for the consequences.

Let her know you are there for her and what she wants to do to deal with this situation you will back her all the way. My parents did and even though I ended up in a weeks worth of detention (kept back after school) for chinning my bully. My mum and dad said to me what I did was not right and I had to take the consequences but they were proud of me and backed me taking my consequences for what I did to resolve the situation.

Did you approach the school with evidence? Print-outs of what's been going on, evidence of money changing hands etc..

Who are you contacting at the school? Perhaps you should be looking for more senior staff?

My nephew was bullied at school and on the bus on the way home. Same child, MANY times. I approached the school and was told they would talk to the child. One day my nephew came home, he'd been physically shoved by the boy. I went to the police and reported it. The child was then excluded from the school and given a warning by the police. School couldn't do much that they didn't see but changed their tune when the police were involved.

Ask yourself, if the events were not also happening at school, how would you deal with it then? And then... Go for it!

Is it you guys that pays her to do chores? If so, do what my parents did and keep hold if it. I got pocket money as a kid, but my parents held on to it and I was allowed it whenever I wanted, but didn't have unlimited access to it.

That is actually a really good idea, to act like a bank for your child. I like that one a lot.

I was best friends with two girls in the sixth grade (I'm assuming your SD is in that grade) who I recall as being nice to my face, but one weekend when we got to school on Monday, I found out that one had a birthday party that I wasn't invited to, and they talked about it right in front of me. At the time I don't remember being too upset, but looking back I realize how dumb I was not to notice.
My apologies, I didn't read every post but did you sit down with your SD and explain what is happening to her, and telling her that those signs are not what a good friend does? Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to see the truth. But it is painful to be lonely, and I can see why she would cling to a friend like that. But it isn't appropriate to buy her clothes and other items. Could you get your SD into some activities if she's not already in them? A sport or a club of some kind? Just to have the opportunity to meet other kids.

I say screw the system because that's all it is. The schools tell you all about their no bullying policies but, honestly, they don't care. It's a paper drill to cover their ***es if something goes wrong. My kids were bullied years ago and I, being a retired Marine, told my son to quit being nice and kick the living daylights out of the bully. Swing until someone pulls you off. You might get suspended but you will definitely get their attention. Never got screwed with again for the next 4 yrs in high school. Actually was awarded most school spirited his sr year and he was class president for 2 of those yrs. I know some of you will take offense to what I wrote but I don't care. My children were raised to be respectful to all and to protect each other and others who get picked on. But if trouble comes at you, deal with it head on. You live in your paper drill world and I live in reality. The weak get preyed upon, that's reality. I tried the school system, the parent mediation, etc. It's all bull, sorry if you agree but keep your hands off my kids!!!! Btw, he is now a junior, with a 3.8 average, in college and president of his fraternity.

Now that I know you're in Australia, my sister spoke to her local MP when she wasn't happy with the school's response (their bullying policy was a crock of ****e). That's another avenue if all goes nowhere. The bloody problem these days is that these kids communicate all day and night. In our day, a bully might go at you at school but home was a safe place. These days they got at at home just as much, if not more. And the way these kids communicate, just about every kid within a 10km radius seem to know about it. My niece got spat on from a car by complete strangers at a bus stop one day who then yelled at her in support of the bullies. Just madness. If you do take it as far as the children's court, have plenty of documents to back it up. If something is posted on facebook, print it and file it. If she's copping anything via her mobile, get your phone provider to give you print outs of incoming calls (it takes a bit of nagging but they can do it). Keep a diary noting every occasion something happens. But even with all of that, the only thing that stopped it was removing her from the situation. She had a part time job in a hairdressing salon and they offered her an apprenticeship and she left the school. Not long after that, one of the offending kids finally got kicked out of the school but it was all too little too late for my niece. Good luck. Kids, particularly girls, are just so horrible sometimes.