Husband Thinks This is Idiotic...
carrierella
Posts: 109 Member
My husband thinks my calorie counting, exercise, etc... is foolish.
When he saw me online putting in my food info, he rolled his eyes and laughed.
Just wondering if any of you have or are dealing with anything similar?
It hurts my feelings. I would love to have my husband's encouragement and support, but realize that is not realistic.
Except for all of you - and my mother who's also trying to lose weight - I feel quite alone!
Carrie
When he saw me online putting in my food info, he rolled his eyes and laughed.
Just wondering if any of you have or are dealing with anything similar?
It hurts my feelings. I would love to have my husband's encouragement and support, but realize that is not realistic.
Except for all of you - and my mother who's also trying to lose weight - I feel quite alone!
Carrie
0
Replies
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My husband thinks my calorie counting, exercise, etc... is foolish.
When he saw me online putting in my food info, he rolled his eyes and laughed.
Just wondering if any of you have or are dealing with anything similar?
It hurts my feelings. I would love to have my husband's encouragement and support, but realize that is not realistic.
Except for all of you - and my mother who's also trying to lose weight - I feel quite alone!
Carrie0 -
I am sorry your husband is not more supportive. But stay strog we may not be close but we are here for you. My hubby didn't say much until he saw me shrinking and is much more supportive now. Keep with it and don't take his comments to seriously. :flowerforyou:0
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I'm sorry to hear that your husband is not being supportive..but I agree with Eve, I think that once he starts to see those pounds fall off you, he may not think that all of this is so silly! Just keep up the good work and you'll always have all of us to support you!0
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YES my hubby did that in the beging, he supports me in losing weight and wants to help however he can, he just doesent want me to be on here all the time, he doesent understand why I need more support when I have his! I think the more support the more chanse i have of one day reaching my gaol and someday I will and you will to.:flowerforyou:
Mary:happy:0 -
My husband also thought it was a bit silly, until he realized that I'm achieving my goal. He thought I looked fine 30 lbs heavier and thinks I look fine now too. The difference is that I like how I look/feel better now! Do this for you and not for anyone else! Someone recently saw me eating my two healthy (sugar-free-no-fat-whole-grain) cookies that I allow myself for my snack. She asked me "Is this living for you?" I told her that not having headaches (because I'm not eating processed sugar anymore) and fitting into my clothing is living for me and if eating my healthy snack is my way of having a better life - so be it!
Hang in there and realize that what you are doing is a long-term-for-life committment. Once he sees that you're serious and successful, he probably won't think it's so silly anymore!0 -
I had no support from anyone:noway: , in fact I had alot of negativity:ohwell: ...didn't care, been at my goal weight since December :bigsmile: and most of those people are still complaining about their weight!
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I'm sorry for you. My husband want us both healthy and fit. He's anxious to see me in something a bit more sexy then a t-shirt and boxer shorts and socks to bed. Because I'm s motivated, he's doing this with me. I have a feeling he will "cheat" because he LOVES to eat. But he's going to have to get over it if he wants to be healthy. I'm in for the long haul!0
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:flowerforyou:
sometimes people are scared of change... even when on the surface it seems like something good, it can still be scary0 -
I am doing it for me ... so I dont care what anyone else thinks to be honest I just get on with it and log my calories etc.
My family do take the mickey out of my wieght sometimes & I dont really look that big, as I am tall and carry it quite well, but the weightloss is for me, as I dont feel happy about being overweight ... not because they joke about it.
But I do wish they would give some praise for the effort I am putting in rather than being the butt of the occasional joke.
I decided though at the end of the day, I will be the one laffing when I reach my goal, so I figure what they think? isnt really that important... Because I will be the one who succeeded...0 -
I'm sorry he isn't being supportive of your hard work.
Be true to yourself......you will feel better, look better, and be healthier as you lose weight and improve your fitness level. Some people just don't understand why anyone would want to deprive themselves of "goodies", torture themselves at the gym, decide not to eat something they really want, worry about every little calorie. [those aren't MY words....those have come from non-supportive people] BUT, there are rewards those people will never experience......higher self-esteem, better-fitting clothes, better cardiac health.
I have co-workers who, after 7 months, still don't get it. I don't care......I've lost 18 lbs, my blood pressure is lower, and my cholesterol dropped 30 points!!0 -
That's too bad. Maybeb he legitimately doesn't feel like you need to lose weight. If you talk to him about how important it is to you I'm sure he will understand and stop with the silliness. Maybe you can even get him to do it with you! 0
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My husband is kind of similar. He thinks I'm not trying to lose weight when I am. However, he complains if I ask him to take the baby so I can exercise. Well, how does he think I am going to do it?!?!
I think it's just that change is hard. Maybe your hubby is deep-down worried that you are going to try and change how HE eats or lives.0 -
Hey Carrie, read Deana's post. She says it all. wantabe:flowerforyou:0
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aw I'm sorry hon....
just keep at it....some folks don't realize the benefits of coming online for support....I think it can be remarkable and keep at it for you and your kids....he may understand more as you lose as others have said!
My hubby was cool w/ it....he doesn't have a weight issue and thinks I look great....gotta love him huh lol...but he understands my quest for health so he supports it....the exercise thing well I think I put the quilt on myself for doing it instead of being w/ my son...so I try to bring him w/ me like in his jogger for a run....its crazy but that's just me...lol....I'd be sort of p-o'd if he wouldn't watch him and I asked him too....maybe you could talk to him about that...
like...you'll feel better when you exercise, you'll have more energy for him and your kids, a happy mommy makes a happy family....
anyway....good luck and stay strong...thinking of ya!
hugs,
ali0 -
My husband thought it was foolish until I explained how the site supports eating enough calories to keep your body from going into starvation mode. I know I wouldn't have a clue how many calories I was eating unless I logged them. He thought I was going to be starving myself like I did when I was on diets in the past where I became discouraged and just gave up. I also told him that I need support going into this or I'll never get through with it. I think that made him realize that I'm serious this time. My hope is that he'll jump on the bandwagon as soon as he sees the results I get from logging my calories. 0
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I was very unhappy with my weight and decided this was the year because we are done having kids. So my husband decided he would lose weight too (lots of heart disease in his family and he's has high cholesterol). He also laughed and teased me about logging in all my foods. Then I started losing weight and he did not. He stopped laughing and joined too, and we've both lost 20 lbs. Now he is actually measuring his food out and constantly asks me how many calories are in anything I make for meals. Maybe your husband just needs time to see results to understand that it really does work. And remember, it does take time!0
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I know exactly how you feel!! My husband is my worst enemy :mad: :mad: He is the one sabotaging my efforts. He says that I don't need to lose any weight, who am I trying to impress, why do I want to lose weight, etc etc...he should be on here actually. :laugh: :laugh: Sometimes I listen to him and let him "sabotage" me and other times I just stay firm and move on...I am doing it for him I am doing it for me...0
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Sorry Chick, as said before from all the wonderful responces, do it for you.
Having support is great and this site is full of support.
My DH supports me 100% and that helps me.
I also have a personal weight loss buddy.
Trust me my mom and sister never support me with anything and sometimes, you have to turn away from family when you have a goal. They just make it worse.0 -
MY BOYS (ESPECIALLY THE 9 YR. OLD) SOMETIMES ASK ME WHY I PUT MAKEUP ON AND GET DRESSED UP WHEN I GO OUT. AFTERALL, I ALREADY HAVE A MAN (THEIR DAD )
ANYWAY, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M "DRESSING UP" TO LOOK GOOD FOR MYSELF. THEY GET JEALOUS IF OTHER MEN LOOK AT ME. IT SEEMS THAT YOUR HUSBAND MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM THE SAME CHILDISH ATTITUDE. TRY AND LET THE NEGATIVITY FLOW OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND BE POSITIVE! GOOD LUCK!0 -
MY BOYS (ESPECIALLY THE 9 YR. OLD) SOMETIMES ASK ME WHY I PUT MAKEUP ON AND GET DRESSED UP WHEN I GO OUT. AFTERALL, I ALREADY HAVE A MAN (THEIR DAD )
ANYWAY, THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND I'M "DRESSING UP" TO LOOK GOOD FOR MYSELF. THEY GET JEALOUS IF OTHER MEN LOOK AT ME. IT SEEMS THAT YOUR HUSBAND MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM THE SAME CHILDISH ATTITUDE. TRY AND LET THE NEGATIVITY FLOW OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND BE POSITIVE! GOOD LUCK!
I couldn't agree more. Maybe your husband is feeling threatened by your lifestyle change?:frown:
He can only have as much influence as you allow him to...and if he is being downright rude or mean, I would tell him about his self!0 -
You know I had a boyfriend who acted the way (and actually most of my family too) until they saw all teh weight coming off and then they jumped on the wagon.
In fact, my boyfriend was so scared that i would find a new man because my body was gettnig better and better and you know what... I dumped him. BUT...that latter doesn't apply to your life. Just make him realize that this is a first step for you in taking back your life and he will reap the benefits of you feeling better about yourself.*ahem bed*0 -
My husband gets a little insecure that I'm so obsessed with this. At one time his mom had lost a bunch of weight and started getting attention from everyone but her husband, so she ended up cheating on his dad. They ended up getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage. So of course everytime my husband sees that I have been successful at losing weight he gets a little worried that I'm going to find someone new. I understand how he can feel this way, but I have to keep reminding him that his parents fate is not ours, we make our own fate and that I would never hurt him. Plus the difference is that he constantly compliments me where his dad never complimented his mom.
Now my husband and I are trying to lose the weight together, that makes him feel a little better, like I'm not going to leave him behind!!0 -
Carrie - do it for yourself ! He'll come around when he sees the pounds coming off. Keep up the good work.0
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Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you! To all of you who replied... you have NO idea how much your encouragement and support means. And you offered some ideas I had never even considered before.
You're all terrific!
Love,
Carrie:flowerforyou:0 -
My husband thinks my calorie counting, exercise, etc... is foolish.
When he saw me online putting in my food info, he rolled his eyes and laughed.
Just wondering if any of you have or are dealing with anything similar?
It hurts my feelings. I would love to have my husband's encouragement and support, but realize that is not realistic.
Except for all of you - and my mother who's also trying to lose weight - I feel quite alone!
Carrie
I am sorry he is not supporting you, but just use it as motivation to show him that you can in fact do this! If there is one thing that motivates me more than anything it is someone telling me or thinking that I can't do something.0 -
C-ella,
I am sorry your husband is bein a turd (oops did I say that). I told my fiance and he didnt say anything. Of course he has agreed to eat all the healthy things that I need to make, so I figure that is good, I dont have to prepare 2 different meals..........I think you gotta just do what YOU need to do, and not worry about it. Explain that you would like the support from him......and if that doesnt work, tell him you'll trade in the calorie counting here for online porn featuring those more fortunate then him.......ok, teasing. You have MFP........keep it up and dont worry about it doll.0 -
No two people are motivated by the same things. Sounds like he just isn't open to anything he doesn't come up with. Just remember, this is about you, not him. It's truly a shame he doesn't support you in this but like everyone else has been saying, once he sees it is working you'll make him a believer and then you can tell him he's not as smart as he thinks he is. Bust your butt with this thing so you can have the last laugh.....even more motivation.....we believe in you......0
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Well, the important thing to do is, not look for another excuse as to why you cant do this.
We can blame the spouse, the kids, our long hours at work... when in all reality.... it all just adds up to another lame excuse. The best thing to do is to work on your program in private - and prove him wrong!
Best of luck to you!0 -
Well, the important thing to do is, not look for another excuse as to why you cant do this.
We can blame the spouse, the kids, our long hours at work... when in all reality.... it all just adds up to another lame excuse. The best thing to do is to work on your program in private - and prove him wrong!
Best of luck to you!
Spot on, Snakeskin...0 -
My husband thinks my calorie counting, exercise, etc... is foolish.
When he saw me online putting in my food info, he rolled his eyes and laughed.
Just wondering if any of you have or are dealing with anything similar?
It hurts my feelings. I would love to have my husband's encouragement and support, but realize that is not realistic.
Except for all of you - and my mother who's also trying to lose weight - I feel quite alone!
Carrie
It is funny you posted this .. my boyfriend is exactly the same way ... last night he was bbq'ing big fat steaks, baked potatoes chips and dip , and I told him well since you are cooking I am gonna go workout - I actually increased my intensity of my workout as well , but ALL the while ... HE and OUR roommate , are cracking up , asking me if I want a beer while I work out :noway: LOL he comes down the the garage while I am on treadmill asking if I need a beer ! LOL ... They both sat there making fun of me all night while I logged in my food , but you know what , First I do not NEED the support of anyone OTHER than myself first .... secondly .. each of them with a trip to baskin robbins afterwards ATE about a 2500 calorie meal and both suffered with belly aches... LOL... It also gives me great motivation to look at them both with their beer bellies while I actually am doing something about it ......
So my Words to you ... depend on yourself first ! Believe in yourself first and love yourself first.... then when others belittle you , know that it is their OWN insecurities that posses them to act that way to make themselves feel better .... I really think it is humorious and I use it for my motiviation !!
Keep doing what you are doing !!0
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