Have you experienced resentment for losing weight?
hanna6774
Posts: 225
I am down about 3 sizes on top now and went to one of my favorite shops, Penningtons. Normally too expensive but great stuff on sale if you can get it. The girl there that I have known for years is between a 4 and 6X. I am down to an XL - 1X from 4X and at first she didn't recognize me but when she realized who I was her attitude completely changed. She seemed put off by me, and honestly almost angry. She pretty much did anything she could to not help me and avoid me.....WTH??? I'm still the same person, still a big girl with lots to go yet, but I can't seem to win. Either I'm made fun of because I'm so big or now I'm shunned from those same people because I've lost weight - I don't get it. Anyone else experienced this? Honestly, I'm completely dumbfounded. :grumble:
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Replies
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Continue to do what you're doing in your weight loss journey and surround yourself with those that support you not resent or try to sabotage what you've done so far
61 pounds is awesome by the way! 0 -
don't let them get you down, stay strong, you're just a reminder to her of how SHE is not doing anything to help her circumstances.0
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Misery loves company. I have experienced resentment my entire life from fat, unhappy people who are annoyed that I eat right, exercise and stay slim.
who cares? ha ha0 -
I've experienced resentment for remaining relatively slim as I've gotten older. Even when you tell people that it's been ages since you've been able to stuff yourself with abandon -- that you have had to become aware of what you were eating, etc. -- they want to believe that you have some kind of magic metabolism or super genes.
Some people refuse to be accountable. Or they are unwilling to accept they have to live differently. They say one thing and do another.0 -
Misery loves company. I have experienced resentment my entire life from fat, unhappy people who are annoyed that I eat right, exercise and stay slim.
who cares? ha ha
I've been at both ends of the totem pole so to speak, so I've never resented anyone. I appreciate how hard some work to keep fit as well as how hard some have to work to get there. I really am still shaking my head in disbelief. I always thought it would be amazing to run into someone who hasn't seen me in a while so I could enjoy a little bit of "OMG! You look great!" Not that I need to hear it but it certainly does make you feel good. Never in a million years did I expect that response. Can't wait to go back when I'm out of the plus sizes all together! Teeheehee0 -
A few years ago, there were articles about a study on the effect of one's friends in weight loss. The media played it up as "Do Your Friends Make You Fat?" and "Is Fat Contagious?", etc.
The more likely answer is that one's friends do help to reinforce one's eating habits and behavior. So if you become thin and a lot of your interactions with your friends were food-based, and your friends don't like to walk or exercise, conflicts can occur.0 -
That's true! While my friends are very supportive, they don't call me as much as they used to. It's most likely due to the fact that I have stopped drinking completely. So on Friday night or whatever when they go out to grab beers they prolly assume that I am not interested anyway. While I don't drink/eat with them I still enjoy talking/catching up and having a few laughs just like before! It's a subconscious thing I think, would you really invite someone out to have dinner with you if you knew already that they would not partake? I'll admit it too, it feels downright weird when you are sitting there enjoying your dinner and whoever you with orders a glass of water. So I can't blame them lolA few years ago, there were articles about a study on the effect of one's friends in weight loss. The media played it up as "Do Your Friends Make You Fat?" and "Is Fat Contagious?", etc.
The more likely answer is that one's friends do help to reinforce one's eating habits and behavior. So if you become thin and a lot of your interactions with your friends were food-based, and your friends don't like to walk or exercise, conflicts can occur.0 -
Sounds like she has her own issues. Don't let it get you down. Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job on you!!0
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Unfortunately haters will always be haters. You can't please everyone or worry about how they are feeling and why, thats an issue for a shrink. I say if she isn't mature enough to accept you for the weight you've lost forget her! I'd purposely go into that store just to annoy her...who knows maybe that will motivate her to get in shape too
Btw- Congrats on the weight you lost, keep it up!0 -
I think what's most important at the end of the day is that you are happy with yourself - you are doing this for YOU. Look how far you've come & just think about what an inspiration you are to the rest of us. :happy:0
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That's true! While my friends are very supportive, they don't call me as much as they used to. It's most likely due to the fact that I have stopped drinking completely. So on Friday night or whatever when they go out to grab beers they prolly assume that I am not interested anyway. While I don't drink/eat with them I still enjoy talking/catching up and having a few laughs just like before! It's a subconscious thing I think, would you really invite someone out to have dinner with you if you knew already that they would not partake? I'll admit it too, it feels downright weird when you are sitting there enjoying your dinner and whoever you with orders a glass of water. So I can't blame them lolA few years ago, there were articles about a study on the effect of one's friends in weight loss. The media played it up as "Do Your Friends Make You Fat?" and "Is Fat Contagious?", etc.
The more likely answer is that one's friends do help to reinforce one's eating habits and behavior. So if you become thin and a lot of your interactions with your friends were food-based, and your friends don't like to walk or exercise, conflicts can occur.
Hahahahaha - I'd almost love for this to be the case! I don't drink much, have enough close friends to count on one hand, two of those being on the other side of the world, one dealing with too many issues of her own and and another that lives out of town. I rarely go out, even with my husband as his schedule is horrible too. I'm generally working, helping out with my dad or running here and there with my boys to rugby, football, hockey and wrestling, and trying to fit in visits with my other three kids and grandkids. Whew! I really should be losing more weight LOL! One of my biggest problems, still, is dedicating time just for me but it's getting easier. The more active get, I am hoping to increase my circle of friends (but not the too much drinking/eating part :drinker: ) Thanks for all your encouragement. Like I said, certainly caught me off guard as it definitely was not an anticipated response but now I'm looking forward to not having to go into a plus size shop at all.....so there!:bigsmile:0 -
I think what's most important at the end of the day is that you are happy with yourself - you are doing this for YOU. Look how far you've come & just think about what an inspiration you are to the rest of us. :happy:
:flowerforyou: Thanks luvey, made my day0 -
Your success reminds her of her failure (to lose weight or be healthier). That's why she was put off by you. She no longer sees you as a peer she can relate, but an outsider who knows and/or is doing something she can't or won't do. Try not to let it get you down. I think your success is a wonderful thing. Be proud of yourself honey. You did the work, reap the rewards!0
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Any time we make significant changes in our lives, there are those who will resent it. Feel good about yourself and let her stay where she is. Maybe your changes will inspire her. And if they don't, that's her loss.
Congrats to you!0 -
Don't let anybody get you down! Keep doing what your doing and you'll reach your goal! Don't listen to that mean lady, she's just hating because she hasn't lost any weight! But I've experienced the same thing, the only difference is no one is saying anything! I've seen the scale drop in numbers slowly over the past few months and I haven't heard anything from anyone else to confirm my loss, so it sometimes gets me down!0
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Yep, misery truly does love company. Some people feel threatened by people who lose weight. Don't let her feelings of failure bring you down! Keep going and soon you won't have to shop at that store and see her anymore
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I am down about 3 sizes on top now and went to one of my favorite shops, Penningtons. Normally too expensive but great stuff on sale if you can get it. The girl there that I have known for years is between a 4 and 6X. I am down to an XL - 1X from 4X and at first she didn't recognize me but when she realized who I was her attitude completely changed. She seemed put off by me, and honestly almost angry. She pretty much did anything she could to not help me and avoid me.....WTH??? I'm still the same person, still a big girl with lots to go yet, but I can't seem to win. Either I'm made fun of because I'm so big or now I'm shunned from those same people because I've lost weight - I don't get it. Anyone else experienced this? Honestly, I'm completely dumbfounded. :grumble:
Id say JEALOUSY, cause she saw you are losing weight and feeling amazing, and she is not. No worries girl!!, ignore all those crappy attitudes and keep it on! :happy:0 -
Don't worry! My best friend always gets so jealous and cold about my weight-loss. It would be nice if people could be supportive, but some people are so insecure with themselves!0
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Your success reminds her of her failure (to lose weight or be healthier). That's why she was put off by you. She no longer sees you as a peer she can relate, but an outsider who knows and/or is doing something she can't or won't do. Try not to let it get you down. I think your success is a wonderful thing. Be proud of yourself honey. You did the work, reap the rewards!
I agree with this. I find some backlash sometimes but I ultimately hope that I can encourage and motivate others by just the way I look and carry myself because I feel amazing and would love for others to feel the same. You are doing great and don't let others bring you down.0 -
Id say JEALOUSY, cause she saw you are losing weight and feeling amazing, and she is not. No worries girl!!, ignore all those crappy attitudes and keep it on! :happy:
This, 100%. Look at your profile pic my dear, who's awesome, YOU'RE AWESOME!0 -
Your success reminds her of her failure (to lose weight or be healthier). That's why she was put off by you. She no longer sees you as a peer she can relate, but an outsider who knows and/or is doing something she can't or won't do. Try not to let it get you down. I think your success is a wonderful thing. Be proud of yourself honey. You did the work, reap the rewards!
I think this is very true. You sound like a nice person who wouldn't do anything to make your friend feel badly about herself but she does, for the reasons above. She's not being very gracious to you and deep down she knows that too. Perhaps she'll make some positive changes in her own life or perhaps she won't - but nothing will distract you from where you're going on your own quest. Very well done on your weight loss so far. :flowerforyou:0 -
Can't wait to go back when I'm out of the plus sizes all together! Teeheehee
Personally, I wouldn't go back there. The world is your oyster, there's millions of shops for your new size, you don't need to go to the one with the grumpy sales assistant.0
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