What's up with this guilty feeling after I eat...?

well it sounds like you do know what healthy eating is, and more importantly, isnt. You dont necessarily have to stuff yourself, but feeling somewhere between satisfied and full is a good place to be. The difference is getting to your healthy weight now, as opposed to how you did it before, you will be much stronger and more fit, and actually look even better than you did back then, going days at a time without eating.

edited to add: dont feel guilty for fueling your body and taking care of yourself!

First off hi and I believe you are doing great by eating and knowing starving yourself is not the way to go. I read your profile and I see you want to lose 20 in 2 weeks I think that is a little too much to expect for two weeks hon. Try to make it a little more attainable. Im not saying its imposible but dont set your set up to feel bad if you dont reach that in 2 weeks. Secondly I see you state you want your daughter to see that being healthy and fit is the way to go. Try working out with her see if she joins and show her how to eat heatly. I have a soon to be 3year old daughter and when I do weight lifting she lifts some 2lb weights I have she loves it. know dont get me wrong at 3 she loses concentration fast but its funny when she gets into it and tries. LOL!!! just keep doing your stuff and make sure you eat right and you will be great! GL!!

Sorry read it wrong I see you want to lose 20 in 10weeks that is awsome you can do it!!!

It's okay to eat!! Starving yourself is definitely not going to do you any good in the long run and, if this helps at all, remind yourself that it will screw up your metabolism and make it easier for you to gain weight in the future. You seem to be very self-aware and "know" that you shouldn't feel guilty about eating, but a history of eating disorders is bound to leave you with some of that messed up thinking. I haven't had an eating disorder, but I know how easy it is to fall into that thinking of "the less I eat, the better". I think most people who have struggled with their weight have that. The thing is, you can do this: you can get back to a healthy and comfortable weight without starving yourself. You can be fit, healthy, and learn to be relaxed about food. It might take a bit longer than you would like (I think that's probably true for most of us) but it'll happen.

I read on your profile that you have grown to hate who you are. It's very sad to read that (although unfortunately I can understand feeling like that!). One thing you have to realise is that those feelings aren't just going to magically disappear when you hit a certain number on the scale. They go a lot deeper than that, you might already know that. Take the weight loss slow and steady, and take some time to work on yourself as well as just your body. Self acceptance and confidence come from within.

Spend some time on these boards and you'll find no end of people who lost weight eating more than the bare minimum. Here's a great thread for a start: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/531086-before-and-after-pics-no-starvation

Oh, and after a quick peek in your diary: eat your exercise calories back! It's not "cheating", it's the way MFP is set up. You're supposed to eat them back, otherwise you're not getting enough fuel. Other plans would count exercise as your lifestyle and give you a higher calorie goal, MFP expects you to net your calorie goal by eating back the cals burned off with exercise.


(edited for typo)