Random thoughts

I usually don't post this sort of stuff...but I thought some were cute/funny

o More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

o Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.


o Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be
going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction
from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or
phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no
one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching
directions on the sidewalk.

o Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

o There is a great need for sarcasm font.

o Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

o I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes
stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes
shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right
parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond
earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

o How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

o I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

o Was learning cursive really necessary?

o "Lol" has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to
"I have nothing else to say".

o I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

o Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

o How many times is appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile

o I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

o MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

o I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

o Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

o I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

o If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

o You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive
for the rest of the day.

o Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want
to have to restart my collection.

o There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going
to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

o I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word/Excel and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper or workbook that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

o "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

o While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when
Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

o I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

o I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

o I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then
I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

o As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

o Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

o It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

o I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

o Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet my *kitten* everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet
away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

o I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive
behind obeys the speed limit.