Eat more in front of people on purpose?

jlauren6
jlauren6 Posts: 209
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I get lots of comments since I've lost weight that I must be starving myself. People will say, "I just want to make sure you are eating enough, I'm concerned." It's hard defending myself all the time! I eat pleanty! I've worked darn hard to get here, and certainly not by omitting food!

SO I find myself eating a lot in front of friends and family so they don't think I starve myself...of course what comes after? GUILT for eating like crap all night!

Does anyone else struggle with this issue?

Replies

  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Ppl just dont get it. If they did, they wouldnt be fat.

    We must eat to lose weight. Food is our friend. It is just the foods we choose that make it a better relationship.

    I think it is the warped sense of 'diet' most ppl have that makes then think we are starving to death to lose 30-40 pounds.

    I tell them it takes just a 250 deficit a day to lose 1/2 a pound a week. That usually opens their eyes!

    Great job:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • AlannaPie
    AlannaPie Posts: 349 Member
    Congratulations!

    She's right, people never get it. And so many people subconsciously hate the idea of someone succeeding where so many others have difficulty. When they say "You've lost so much weight you must be starving yourself" just smile and say thank you
  • czewwhat
    czewwhat Posts: 8,715
    Do not sabotage yourself to make others happy! I have a neighbor, well intended who tells me he thinks I look prettier with more weight on! I don't care what he thinks, my mirror and I have a thing going! I promised my mirror I would work really hard to get thinner and the mirror promised I would like what it showed me when I got done! The" you are starving yourself you poor thing" comments are just the feeble attempts of others to short circuit your good habits and healthy eating! I think of them as the little devil that sits on your shoulder saying, "go ahead eat it! you have been good for so long!" If i feel like wasting 300 calories on some dumb piece of cake, I am breaking my promise to the mirror, it will keep its promise to me! So there you have it.

    You are a beautiful brunette, would you listen if they started saying "oh you should be a blond" or" If you were just a redhead you would be so much happier" Don't listen, smile and say I eat lots of healthy foods and keeping up with my baby is very important to me. don't worry I have never felt better!
  • PureAndHealthy
    PureAndHealthy Posts: 539
    When I first lost weight from 235 to 149, I got a few comments like that. The first time a close guy friend told me I was getting "too skinny" and starting to get "unhealthy-looking", it made me MAD :mad: ! I was a size 8 and ate a lot of really healthy food and exercised like half an hour a day... nothing extreme at ALL. With me I think there were about 3 reasons for the comments like that.

    1. People weren't used to me being a smaller size, so for *me* it seemed really tiny, when really I was just a healthy weight.

    2. There's some jealousy. ME losing weight showed them that they have no excuse for continuing in obesity, and that was just annoying. So it was like "Stop already! You're making me look bad!"

    3. There are many people with eating disorders and unfortunately some of the habits it takes to manage your weight and start losing (like counting out chips to get the right serving, sometimes not eating the foods everyone else is eating, tracking all your food intake, etc) can also be part of bulemia or anorexia. So, sometimes people are genuinely concerned... which you should appreciate the love.

    But no, don't eat junk to assure your family you don't have an eating disorder. If there are healthy options available, eat those. Stress that you're trying to eat healthfully to have a strong heart and ward off disease and be around for a while, rather than to lose weight. That should help them see that health is your goal... which would not be the case if you had an eating disorder.
  • 9726172000
    9726172000 Posts: 428
    I use to get those kind of comments at work all the time and then one day I had brought in a complete days worth of food (even what I was going to have for dinner) that I would eat for that typical day. When I heard that comment I went to the fridge and pulled out everything I would eat and had turned the question on them. As I was putting my food in front of them I had asked do you think now I am not eatting enough? They had said NO you are eatting more than what I thought you were. This happened about 3 months ago, and I have not heard any more comments like that again. In fact now I get incouragement from them.
  • ThePoptart
    ThePoptart Posts: 28
    Yeah...I get this almost every day if I don't eat a huge meal :( I'm really thin by society's standards and people accuse me of starving myself if they don't see me consume a large amount of food in a sitting. I can't eat THAT much though in one sitting, it hurts for my stomach to stretch like that when it isn't used to it. It's extremely annoying when people say it, too. I firmly believe you shouldn't comment on someone else's eating habits unless it's endangering their health, you know? Ugh, people need to mind their own business and let me eat every few hours like I like to do!!!!
  • leavinglasvegas
    leavinglasvegas Posts: 1,495
    I know exactly what you mean!!!

    I get alot of snide remarks on being vegetarian, eating organic and passing on the junk as well.

    A lady at work would bring me "healthy snacks" because it bothered her that I didn't participate in the donuts or bagels or potlucks. Her idea of healthy was prepackaged low-fat-low-cal versions of junky snacks. Saying I'm not hungry was a red flag and often resulted in pity parties, and lots of whiny voiced trying to sway me.....she insisted that you have something sweet after lunch, breakfast when you get to the office, and constant munchies throughout the day.

    I eat breakfast at home, fruits/veggies for snacks, lunch at lunch and maybe some nuts in the afternoon or on the way home while I'm stuck in traffic. But she was all about quantity. Glad I don't work there anymore!!! I've lost 19 lbs since I left!
  • kermiefan
    kermiefan Posts: 28
    Sometimes I think it's a combo of things:
    1. People hate change so if you are less weight than you were before, your role might change-like you're no longer the "overweight friend" or whatever title you are in their mind and they don't want to relabel you and rethink your role.
    2. Misery loves company--something along those lines--if someone is going to do something-including eating garbage-it makes them feel better if others do it also.
    3. There's probably a part of them that feels like by not eating the food they eat, you're criticizing their food choices and they take offense to that.

    I think if you want to eat a bunch in front of them-go for it-but make it healthy good choices. :smile:
  • jlauren6
    jlauren6 Posts: 209
    I can't begin to tell you how insightful all your posts have been! I definitely needed this advise to put my mind on the right track, thank you all so much! :bigsmile:
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