How do I regain control from self-sabotaging?

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BrownEyesCC85
BrownEyesCC85 Posts: 3 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello, I started tracking my calories and working out about a month ago. I have lost 5lbs so far, which I am proud of, but I am also ashamed because I feel like I should've lost more by now. I have always been very hard on myself. I do "weigh-in" Wednesdays and I lost yesterday. Even though I lost, I ate Chipotle, went to Starbucks and just generally overate the rest of the day sort of like a "treat" for losing weight. Today I feel totally hopeless and feel like I regained some weight from my binge yesterday. Why do I succeed a little bit, then sabotage myself? It's like I'm afraid of my own success....can someone please help? How do I get out of this rut and stop beating myself up even though I AM LOSING?!
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  • christinabooth
    christinabooth Posts: 4
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    Hey me and u could not be any more similar! I'm currently just starting back on the road because I lost a stone and gradually got lazy and slowly put half a stone back on! I wanna lose 10pounds! I'm 134 ATM! My only advice that I'm using ATM is 'nothing tastes as good as looking good' I'm in search of a buddy on mfp, someone who I can talk to daily just about food in general an what I've been tempted by and any fails Iv had! Because when I do Gail, I tend to let it get me on a down ward spiral an just over eat till I feel sick and bloated and normally I wouldn't even consider to eat that much! :0!
  • missy_1975
    missy_1975 Posts: 244 Member
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    Get a hold of this book: The Saboteur Within by Matt Hudson :flowerforyou:
  • holly3585
    holly3585 Posts: 282 Member
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    Oh my gosh this is me!!! I have been struggeling for over two years- ever since I decided to stop disliking myself, and do something about it! I do this ALL THE TIME! I did it last night!! I did all my calculations, and while my over eating has not let my OVER exercising help me DROP weight- I really have been somewhat reforming what I eat and doing soooo much working out, so my body fat has actually dropped into the 'athletic' range. 1st time in my whole life!!!!! So what did I do last night? Carrot cake to celebrate......later followed by not one quesadilla, but two (because the 1st one was so good!!) I do not know how to stop this crazy gross cycle, but I am all ears ladies :))) We WILL figure this out together. I think having a good support system is def. key.
  • Esmerai30
    Esmerai30 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hello, I have been there too, feeling really bad after eating something I should not have. Try having one day a week, like on Satureday, when you can cheat. But only cheat with one item or one meal. For example, I did once week of eating and exercising according to my plan. On Friday, I went to Chipotle(love it) and I ate The tacos with barbecoa meat. 3 of them. Thats what i wanted thats what I ate. NoNo harm done.. I did not drink soda, because I new I wanted the tacos. So I drank water with lemon, and I was satisfied. But I chose one Item i wanted. However some will say don't reward yourself with food, but I think allowing yourself one day, to just enjoy one food item you really like, (not more than one) it will help you. But at the same time you must be diciplined the rest of the week. It takes time, if you fall off the wagon, jump back on.
  • kazhowe
    kazhowe Posts: 340 Member
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    Hi there, I think the key to success is state of mind. For me as soon as the word 'diet' creeps into my life - and I have done a few of them over the years - then I seem to set out on this trail of destruction!! I have had to re-think the whole thing and have come to realise that what I am doing is making a life change - for the rest of my life. I want more than anything else to be a healthier person -I have a lot more living to do and I don't want to do it from a wheelchair or a sick bed ...to be slimmer is a bonus - but a wonderful bonus. So my philosophy is this - if I want something then I ask myself if I really want it or if I would be happy to forego it, if the answer is that I really DO want it - then I have it. By doing this I am regaining control of myself and my eating habits and taking the pressure off myself. If I have a day or a few days that are not so good then I adopt the Scarlet O'Hara philosophy ... 'tomorrow is another day!' It works for me and I hope maybe there is something in this verbal ramble that is useful for you too. Wishing you great success!
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
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    I imagine that we are all the same hence our need to lose weight! I always find that I can't win- if I weigh myself and lose I'm happy and 'need' a treat to celebrate ...and if I gain weight I'm sad and 'need' a treat to cheer myself up! You need to find another way to celebrate your loss- buy yourself something, no matter how little, maybe a new nail varnish or a really good quality bubble bath in which to soak; get rid of your excited energy by doing some exercise which will encourage you to stay on track...Once the damage is done though I think that the most important thing you can do is to be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up, we've all done it time and time again. Just admit that you've gone down the wrong road, don't plan to skip the next meal to undo the damage as that won't work, plan yourself a healthy meal for your next one and enjoy it. Put your mistake behind you and move on...
  • JamCubeChi
    JamCubeChi Posts: 378 Member
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    OMG ladies, I so understand what you're all saying. Then it's like you go thru a whole guit thing afterwards. I think we jsut need to hand in there and whatever we do, do not give up! Wishing you all the best of luck!:smile:
  • bevhols
    bevhols Posts: 43 Member
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    It is such a hard thing to do ... many many years ago I remember I "celebrated" my Weight Watcher's goal weight with McDonald's ... it was a slippery slope from there and I have Yo Yoed since then always ending up higher than I was before ... I totally agree with what was said above ... forget the word "diet" and "can't have" ... just remember it is choices and a lifestyle. Trust me, it has taken a LOT of years to get here. On South Beach I went from 224 down to 182 ..... then regained 20 lbs; August 2011 found out about MFP and joined; now eating what I want, counting the calories and NOT rewarding myself with food for weight loss. If I have a bad day, then the next day, I just go right back on track; I am now down another 42 lbs just over 161 lbs. Feeling good ... just never give up and eat healthy and be active every day.
  • bevhols
    bevhols Posts: 43 Member
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    By the way, my husband has yoyoed as well ... he has also lost 40 lbs using MFP! AND for the first time in MANY years, at 5"3.5" to his 5"11", I weigh LESS than he does!! Yipppeee!
  • anfrias
    anfrias Posts: 8
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    I think that all of us are in the same boat. I know I am for sure. I just weighed in yesterday and that night I binged - I kept telling myself that I should reward myself for losing 2 lbs so I binged and today I feel horrible. I want to now do this but I don't know how to stop it. :( I need help and support.
  • bevhols
    bevhols Posts: 43 Member
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    Hi there, I think the key to success is state of mind. For me as soon as the word 'diet' creeps into my life - and I have done a few of them over the years - then I seem to set out on this trail of destruction!! I have had to re-think the whole thing and have come to realise that what I am doing is making a life change - for the rest of my life. I want more than anything else to be a healthier person -I have a lot more living to do and I don't want to do it from a wheelchair or a sick bed ...to be slimmer is a bonus - but a wonderful bonus. So my philosophy is this - if I want something then I ask myself if I really want it or if I would be happy to forego it, if the answer is that I really DO want it - then I have it. By doing this I am regaining control of myself and my eating habits and taking the pressure off myself. If I have a day or a few days that are not so good then I adopt the Scarlet O'Hara philosophy ... 'tomorrow is another day!' It works for me and I hope maybe there is something in this verbal ramble that is useful for you too. Wishing you great success!
  • Ripcode
    Ripcode Posts: 142 Member
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    How about stop going to Chipotles and Starbucks after a lose?
  • anonvl
    anonvl Posts: 17
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    I have this exact same problem where I hurt myself by bingeing and then binge more because I figure the damage is already done. I totally understand where you are coming from.
  • patriciajacks77
    patriciajacks77 Posts: 1
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    Self sabatoge is cured purely by your mind set. Change your mind set and you begin to excel more into your healthy lifestyle as well as weight loss. So you lost 5 pounds, great, but what you need to do is rather than rewarding yourself with food reward yourself with something like a spa day or an evening out with friends. Give yourself one cheat day a week. On that day go get starbucks if you really want to, but limit what you are going to have. Don't go to starbucks and Dairey Queen! Try to choose lighter optins such as use soy milk rather than cow's milk in your latte. Use half the sweet flavoring ( I would not use artifical sweetners except Stevia or Agave the others are really bad for you!) and no whipped cream. The most important part is DO NOT get down on yourself. You can do it you already lost 5 pounds you've proved you can do it!
  • rdy2lose
    rdy2lose Posts: 106
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    Thanks for the book suggestion (Sabiteur Within), I will check it out. This is SO me also. I had a great first week on my diet and since then have trickled down to staying the same wieight. I have done this twice before, I never get to goal because I self sabotage. Can't wait to check out this book.
  • orladybug
    orladybug Posts: 2
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    My motto is not to deprive myself of the life I used to have....just have it in moderation!!!! Before starting all of this I would go to McD's and get myself several hamburgers.....or a large sized meal and an extra burger. I still go to McD's once in a while (mainly because I am the only one in my house trying to lose weight - and the only driver lol) I just now get myself one or two burgers or a burger and a fruit and yogurt parfait.

    Still struggling daily with my caloric intake (some days too much, some days not enough). I'm glad that I have a support system that wants to go for walks with me!!!

    I know that I have days that I don't want to do anything....heck...went through a whole week of not wanting to exercise, just put in my calories and told myself "that's enough food for the day, look at those calories" I have gotten myself back on track with my support system, and love them every day for it!!!!

    Feel free to add me as a friend!

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  • ngrugle0
    ngrugle0 Posts: 8 Member
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    I wish I had an answer for how to stop myself from going on emotional eating binges. It took me 7 weeks to get halfway to my weight loss goal and then went completely off the wagon--not just a minor fall off the wagon, but a complete 3-week long binge fest and gained every single pound back that I had lost. I thought I had convinced myself that I had made a lifestyle change and that I was enjoying how healthy and energetic I felt, but I completely lost control and I don't know why. I was an emotional eating train wreck. I knew I wasn't hungry, but I ate anyway. I ate past full to the point of wanting to throw up. It would be great to just use reason or logic to stop the binges--I obviously know they aren't good for me and that I will gain weight, but if it were that easy, I wouldn't binge in the first place. Granted I'm only trying to lose 20 pounds, but it seems like every time I get close, I completely sabotage the effort. I hate myself when I'm overweight, so why would I intentionally prevent myself from reaching my goal? If I knew the answer, I wouldn't have this problem I suppose. I agree with comments like "everything in moderation" and "don't use food as a reward" and I follow them when I'm not eating emotionally, but there's no stopping me when I get in one of these emotional states. I'll have to check out the Self-Saboteur book and see if it helps.
  • funlauralicious
    funlauralicious Posts: 2
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    There are times when we self-sabotage. When we have lost weight, we feel good and we also want to enjoy the dining out experience. After all, we all like to eat. Part of weight loss and maintenance, is learning when to stop and how to face a new day. I think we are always learning and one of those learning lessons is knowing when have had too much - to much food, too much drinking, too much over spending. Living within our limits and within our means may not be easy or fun at times, but we have to. Eating is one of those things. I try to stop and shift my energy on other things. Recommit to your goal, plan, and work it every day. But most of all, be kind to yourself... and remember, "Nothing tastes are good as thin feels!." Best wishes, Laura
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    Self-control is like a muscle, it gets stronger with use. You don't just wake up one day being able to control impulses which you have never been able to control before.
    Start small, making better small choices, like slightly smaller portions or slightly lower-calorie choices, and work your way up from there.
  • KeysGirl23
    KeysGirl23 Posts: 117 Member
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    When the thought enters my mind... I lace up and go for a walk, get down and do some crunches or push-ups, clean the house... anything to take my mind off of it. And I'd also say, until I could make proper choices when out, I didn't go out. It's difficult in the beginning for sure but I just kept my weekly goal in mind. After a period of time I got used to it. After more time, I didn't want those things anymore and when I did have them, it will made me physically ill. My advice is just stay away from those triggers and make new triggers! Good luck!!!

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