Kids are growing up WAY too fast (funny/disturbing)!

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CoryIda
CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
in Chit-Chat
My son (he's 9 1/2) just told me that he likes wearing pants that are too big where the crotch hangs down halfway to his knees because when girls look at him, they will assume he needs the crotch to go down that far because his pen!s is so big.

WTH?!?!

WHERE did he get that idea and WHY is he even thinking about those things?!?!

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a child that is growing up and learning these kinds of things so early. Surely someone else has a similarly funny/disturbing story?
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Replies

  • KristineJ86
    KristineJ86 Posts: 23
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    Today while going for a hike my 3 year old dropped his pants and tried to take a poop... I had to squash that idea but first I took a pic to keep for his future wife lol

    That is crazy that they are already thinking about those types of things! The world is so much more of a sexual place now a days. Yikes! Then again at 12 I think girls were stuffing their bras when I was growing up for the same effect lol
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    My 4 year old told me not to kiss him goodbye in front of his girlfriend when I drop him off at school. I did it anyway, of course.
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,044 Member
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    My son will be 11 at the end of May. According to him, he's already had 4 girlfriends and "dated" the same girl twice. Now, mind you, he's never seen any of these girls out of school.

    Anyway, we were all watching T.V. and he saw Carl's Jr. newest commercial with Kate Upton in it and he said "when I see her, my penis goes BOING!" (while shooting his finger up in the air). Lord help me. LOL
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    I just took my 8 year old for her well visit today and she already has breast buds. I am so not ready to have that conversation yet!
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    My 13 year old turns everything into something sexual.

    I don't have any stories like yours though.

    I did find out that he shaves his toes. That's kind of amusing.
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,495 Member
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    My 9yo daughter has a "boyfriend" which was cute until they started holding hands. He comes down to our house and picks her up to go play at his house. I get more scared everyday about how far this will go.
  • tinana_RN
    tinana_RN Posts: 541 Member
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    Is this what I have to look forward to? Really?? I thought it was bad enough that our 4 year old will just try to pee off of the deck whenever he has the urge to go... or farting, farting is his new favorite thing.... ack.
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    When my son was about 4 or 5 he was very upset because there was something wrong with his penis. He was very scared and nervous and told me that sometimes in the morning his tinker gets *big*! That's ok son. One day you'll be glad it does.
  • tilfordj
    tilfordj Posts: 54 Member
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    I don't think that the kids are growing up any quicker now than they did 40 years ago...It is just that we are older now...so we notice it more. I remember being 9 and having my mom fight with the department store clerk that she shouldn't have to pay tax on my bra's and feminine products because I was under the age of 10. (back then in CT there wasn't tax on childrens items)...I was so embarassed.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    OH MY GOSH! I know that is the kind of stuff that is going to come from my son. He just turned 6. I think the most shocking thing he ever said was while walking down an aisle at Walmart. I said I was looking for Tiger Balm and he said, "Why do you love Tiger Balm so much?" I don't remember what I said, but his next question was, "Do you love it so much that you want to marry it?" Then he immediately said, "Do you love it so much that you want to have sex with it?"

    I think I nearly fell over. He was 5 at the time. I didn't know what to think. I asked him if he knew what that meant and he said no and that he had heard it on TV! It sounds vaguely familiar to me, but I can't place it!
  • DonnaRe2012
    DonnaRe2012 Posts: 298 Member
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    Holy Crap !!! I am sooooooo glad I don't have kids. I don't think I could take it !!!!!
  • 42kgirl
    42kgirl Posts: 692 Member
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    Is this what I have to look forward to? Really?? I thought it was bad enough that our 4 year old will just try to pee off of the deck whenever he has the urge to go... or farting, farting is his new favorite thing.... ack.
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the farting thing never goes away. The Boy is almost 10 and The Hubs is 42. Farting will be funny well in to old age with boys.
  • AandJsMommy
    AandJsMommy Posts: 314
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    One day I was in the living room and my daughter and hubby were in the bedroom sitting on the bed watching t.v. and my daughter Anna goes I want a bathing suit that will cover these and grabs her chest. Her daddy was so embarrassed his face turned red. When I came to the bedroom my hubby told me what she said and I busted out laughing.

    Last year in Kindergarten Anna had 2 boyfriends and one she said that was her best friend Scarlett's boyfriend too. I dread to see the teenage years. YIKES!!
  • vettle
    vettle Posts: 621 Member
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    OH MY GOSH! I know that is the kind of stuff that is going to come from my son. He just turned 6. I think the most shocking thing he ever said was while walking down an aisle at Walmart. I said I was looking for Tiger Balm and he said, "Why do you love Tiger Balm so much?" I don't remember what I said, but his next question was, "Do you love it so much that you want to marry it?" Then he immediately said, "Do you love it so much that you want to have sex with it?"

    I think I nearly fell over. He was 5 at the time. I didn't know what to think. I asked him if he knew what that meant and he said no and that he had heard it on TV! It sounds vaguely familiar to me, but I can't place it!

    LOL, this sounds like family guy
  • mfp_junkie
    mfp_junkie Posts: 359
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    They don't all grow up that fast...my 11 year old boy has no interest in girls yet, and he doesn't want to hear anything about the birds and bees yet. Won't be long, however....
  • theoriginaljayne
    theoriginaljayne Posts: 562 Member
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    The first-grader I babysit was upset about something one night and was having trouble sleeping, so I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He apparently was having trouble juggling his boyfriend and two girlfriends. He wanted to break up with one of the girls, but was afraid of hurting her feelings, and his boyfriend (whom he really liked) didn't know about either of the girls and would probably be mad if he found out and he just didn't know what to do.

    Yeah, I was expecting him to be afraid of the dark, or something.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
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    My 8 year old has already been married, divorced and back together to the same girl he's been dating since kindergarten. It's cute and all but it'll be weird when the innocence is gone :-/
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
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    When my 9 year old daughter was 6 and watched High School Musical for the first time she just stood there holding her hand over her heart i asked her what was the matter she replied (while gawking at Zach Efron) he makes my heart go bang bang bang inside. I was thinking oh god I am in for it. Now that she is 9 she already owns a pair of three inch heels that her 20 year old sister bought her for her b-day, and i found her applying make-up and strutting around her bedroom. Having a 16 and 20 year old sisters doesn't help matters..
  • tofindmyselfprettyagain
    tofindmyselfprettyagain Posts: 46 Member
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    I don't think this is anything new, repeating the person above 'you just notice it more because you are older". I remember being in kindergarten having conversations about sex (my mother, along with a few other childrens' moms never did the stork story, it was 'when a man and a woman love each other very much, some parts of daddy and mommy connect to make babies"). Granted, it was very different than the hormone crazed teenage years talks about it, more along the lines of "I can't wait to grow up and have babies!" and the class paired each other off to have have babies when they were older.

    Most of the kids knew that boys and girls had different parts, and it would come up just like anything else ever. I remember knowing from TV that guys like big boobs, and girls like big penises, but it didn't have the same meaning as when I hit puberty. At alllll. It was like the equivalent of everyone loving kittens and puppies. I wouldn't be too worried. But, I am younger than most here, so maybe things were different for you.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Okay, another one...

    We were watching a TV show that is usually not inappropriate, but it had one scene where the character got embarrassed because apparently he got an erection in public. My son then asked me what an erection was (he's had the birds and bees talk, but somehow had forgotten the term) and I told him it was his penis got hard, which is something that will happen to him sometimes when he sees pretty girls when he's older. His response:
    "Oh, my penis already gets hard when I see a pretty girl, or when I play with it. I can't wait until white stuff comes out."

    Oh my word. Most awkward conversation EVER.

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