Baby showers just for first-born?

Options
MegRuthie
MegRuthie Posts: 147 Member
in Chit-Chat
My best friend has a 2 year old son and is now pregnant with a little girl (FUN! I'll be the godmother!)

For her first baby, she had to ask her family to throw a baby shower, because no one thought to (I live states away now and would have in a HEARTBEAT)

But now she says that she won't get a shower for this one, because showers are just for firstborns. I never really thought about that. Is that true? She's going to need girl things now and a new crib. (They turned his crib into a toddler bed)

I so bad want to plan her a shower from where I live with the help of her husband, but is that frowned upon?

Replies

  • curvykim78
    curvykim78 Posts: 799 Member
    Options
    I've always heard it's for the first born. She shouldn't need a whole lot after having one baby, other than maybe some clothes and diapers. Buy her some cute stuff if you want to, but a huge shower isn't in order. I would suggest maybe a few girls from work want to meet up for lunch and maybe have a small get together, then that would be okay...just nothing huge.
  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
    Options
    seeing as this is a different gender than the first one, a small get together wouldnt be bad. Im sure she'll be really happy to get pink girl clothes and not have to dress her daughter in her son's hand-me-downs all the time. I know people who've had baby showers for everyone, including the 4th. that's a little much IMO but since its her second and its a girl this time, i dont see why people cant do a small shower for her.
  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,808 Member
    Options
    I dont think a shower is appropriate unless a significant time goes past betwee pregnancies but maybe a smaller get together with a few close friends/family would be nice
  • Expialidojess
    Expialidojess Posts: 588 Member
    Options
    My friends and I have always stuck to the one shower rule. Most of us have at least 2 or 3 kids each and we'd go broke buying baby shower presents if we all had one every time we were pregnant. If you really want to, You could still throw her a party maybe and tell the guests that gifts are optional.
  • LilmamaPipes
    LilmamaPipes Posts: 21
    Options
    I did not have a baby shower for my first born. But for my second child I did have one. For my 3rd child I did not have a baby shower, because he was a 6 wk preemie. I never did understand why a baby shower only for the first born. Hello baby showers are fun. In my eyes it doesn't matter if it's your first baby or not. If you have family or friends who want to throw you a baby shower, go for it.
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
    Options
    I think it depends on your area of the country and also your circle of friends/family. I was in my late twenties before I realized that there are some circles who say showers are for first born only. I was really shocked because I had never heard that before. I get the concept of does she really need another shower since she had one already. But I mean seriously, this is a whole new baby, why can her friends/family celebrate with a whole new celebration if they want? Especially if its a different gender. Obviously she won't need the big ticket items like a crib or something like that. But she will still need supplies, and clothes, and really depends on people. If they don't want to give another gift, then don't. We have birthdays every year, and people don't say, "Oh I just gave you a gift for your last birthday, why do you need another one?" haha I say that if someone wants to throw her a shower, they should just do it. People who don't agree don't have to be involved. I would give my bff or sister a shower for every baby if I had the choice.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    Options
    in the strictest etiquette, yes, showers are for firstborn, and family are NOT supposed to host. In that same vein, registries are horribly vulgar. leave it to the Americans :laugh:
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    Options
    Sprinkles are for after the baby is born and it is disguised as a meet the baby party but everyone brings gifts and there is lots of food, so really another shower but not a shower because old biddies think it is improper or some such nonsense to have a shower for a 2nd baby.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
    Options
    Only for the first born as far as I think.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Options
    I would say yes, only an official shower for the first born. Same with the first wedding. Otherwise it just seems like you're begging for gifts. If it's a second + child, realistically you should still have a lot of things for the baby. I would think family and close friends would still want to buy you a gift, and they can certainly do that if they want. I've done that for several friends who have had second children; I just brought them a baby gift when I went to see the baby the first time. Christenings are a bit different; many people have parties for each child for that. I would determine whether or not I'm going to go to them all (depending how close I am with the person who had the baby). This is all just IMO of course!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Options
    We had a shower for my sister in law's second baby, but traditionally it is just done the first time. If you want to celebrate this occasion for your friend, throw her a shower.
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
    Options
    My son was 8 when my daughter was born....so I had a shower for both.
  • GouchisGirl
    GouchisGirl Posts: 321 Member
    Options
    Generally they are for the first born of each gender :) So, first having a boy, and now having a girl, I don't see why it wouldn't be ok for her to have a shower for this baby, that is of course unless she still has all her stuff and bought gender nuteral clothes for her son like I did (before I knew he was a boy lol)
  • shilohae
    shilohae Posts: 23
    Options
    I would say go for it! This baby is a different gender and a significant amount of time has passed since her last baby!
    I had two...then again my babies are 10 years apart!
  • angemarie23
    angemarie23 Posts: 55
    Options
    I have 2 children, a boy and a girl. I had baby showers for both because we don't have a lot of money and almost everything we have for them was given to us. Neither baby shower was a huge party but a celebration of life with family and friends. Around 20 people max. I did feel kind of guilty for having the second one but we focused it around fun, games, and the celebration itself with less focus on the gifts. In fact, we had a drawing for those that brought diapers (and announced it ahead of time) and gave the winners of the drawings prizes of our own. So, we made it small, simple, and fun. Worked out great and was a much smaller group than the first one. I hope that helps!
  • ValeryKinzer
    ValeryKinzer Posts: 4
    Options
    I think you are a great friend for being willing to throw her one when you dont live close by ,but yes it is okay to give another one...my friends even gave me one for the third one.so just do what you want its okay.

Categories