any bigger people feel akward at the gym

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  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I'm 6'3, male and I was pretty big when I started going to the gym. Around 440+ lbs. range. Sure I was self-conscious about people staring, point, maybe even *gasp!* laughing. I'd get scared and sad and skip going at times. Over time I decided that when I got sad, I'd stop being sad and be awesome instead.

    Now when I go not a single second is wasted worrying or wondering what others think. Currently at 300+ lbs. I attend Zumba classes at my YMCA. My size has nothing to do with sticking out. I stick out because I am 1 of 2 guys in a class of 15-20 women.
    I notice some people passing by doing double takes at times. Some are girls and they smile. (well I think they do but I am too busy trying not to suck as much as I did last week to notice if they smiled at me or not.)

    Do some people make snide comments or laugh? Maybe I don't know, can't hear them, or care really.
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  • sondra216379
    sondra216379 Posts: 174 Member
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    Sometimes I feel awkward, I'm not huge but have at least 50 pounds to go, but I find it funnier when the young girls are there on the elliptical and texting on their phone at the same time.
  • vcalle83
    vcalle83 Posts: 2
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    Yes matter a fact I rejoined the gym per doctors orders, but i see the fitness crazed people working out and i feel like am i doing something wrong.
  • hg345
    hg345 Posts: 14 Member
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    I'm not renewing my gym membership for this reason. No one seems to sweat, and with it being a uni gym, seeing someone you know is unbearable when your sweating horribly and they're looking perfect. To be honest I hated going anyway, all the machines bore me. I'm going to try running with my housemate outside instead, more interesting and then I'm not alone!
  • dstin1122
    dstin1122 Posts: 2 Member
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    I go to the gym really early in the morning so not too many people are there and the people that are there are mostly really into their workout. I really like going to the gym. I use the elliptical machine and with my headphones on I am in my own little zone. The only problem I have is with this one guy who comes up to me to say hi which is fine but then he goes on to say "when are we going out on a date" and how "fine" I am looking. It makes me uncomfortable but I don't want to make him feel bad so I just kind of laugh and say nothing. Any suggestions on how to get him to stop the comments would be appreciated. But as far as going to the gym and feeling bad or awkward because I am rather large well I have gotten over those feelings cause the most important thing to me is I am going to lose weight and get in shape and what others may be thinking is not my problem! So go for it and don't let the turkeys get you down!!!
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
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    As the excess weight comes off, you'll be less & less self-conscious about how you look when you exercise. Someone else mentioned the YMCA which they gym I go to, & I Love. It. But it sounds like you don't have a ton of choices about which gyms to go to so that's irrelevant.

    My main question for you is this: Are you going to let other peoples' perception of you control your actions? Sure, some people are douches. So what. Someone else being a douche is a lame excuse for me staying fat. I absolutely felt the same way when I started going to my gym. I felt like everyone was staring at me all the time. To be honest it's a form of conceit to think that other people at the gym have nothing better to do than talk about me.

    When I see really heavy people exercising at my gym, I see so much of myself in them that I at times I am overcome with feelings of excitement for them, that they could be changing their lives for the better like I have. I cheer them on, sometimes silently & sometimes not. The ones who keep coming & keep rockin it out are an inspiration to everyone...any "normal-sized" person can go to the gym & do stuff. But how much inner strength & perseverance does it take as a >300 lb person to keep going & working out no matter what people think? Less than 2 years ago that >300 lb person was me. Now the staff at my local Y is like my own personal MFP, they're always cheering me on & offering encouraging words & keeping up with my races & other successes.
  • REET420
    REET420 Posts: 160 Member
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    I used to go to Goodlife I don't like the atmosphere. It seems to me like they are always trying to push their clients to buy the personal training. I did once and it was just someone putting me through the fit fix cycle saying **** like "yay you can do it" or "good job" I don't like going because people don't clean the machines after they use them and I have to clean after them if I wanna use the same machines. The last time I went these 2 guys were pointing and laughing at me and I left because I felt like a cow. I bought some weights and mats and a few exercise equipments and put them in my basement. Now I don't have to pay to go anywhere where people will make me feel like **** and I still get to work out. Another issue is the people who go with their friends and just sit on the machines and talk to each other instead of exercising and they don't move for the people who want to work out. I am now signed up at a martial arts gym in my area and the people are very nice and they motivate me to be push myself as hard as I can.
  • myjourney2
    myjourney2 Posts: 424 Member
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    I go to a fantastic gym where there are both men and women. I had a talk with my dr. before joining because I had the same issue. He told me people dont care what you look like because they are busy working on themselves.

    It is a small gym and everyone is very helpful and friendly (both men and women). It is not a circuit type gym like Goodlife or Curves. I joined a womans only Goodlife a few years ago and only went a few times. It just wasnt a good fit for me.

    I still have 87 lbs to lose and joining this gym and hiring a personal trainer who really pushes me was the best thing I have ever done!

    I joined the gym on March 15th (before I joined MFP) and have lost 7 lbs since then. 5 of the lbs while on MFP.

    Forgot to add that everyone at my gym sweats! Even the skinny, fit girls. Sounds weird but I love getting all sweaty during a workout because to me it means I am actually working hard...lol
  • jenbooks
    jenbooks Posts: 55 Member
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    The only problem I have is with this one guy who comes up to me to say hi which is fine but then he goes on to say "when are we going out on a date" and how "fine" I am looking. ** It makes me uncomfortable but I don't want to make him feel bad ** so I just kind of laugh and say nothing. Any suggestions on how to get him to stop the comments would be appreciated.

    Why? He is making *you* feel uncomfortable and you don't want to make *him* feel bad?? What I would do is give him a flat stare and say "Never. Now go away and leave me alone". If he persists, make sure the gym people know about it.
  • sparks29
    sparks29 Posts: 8
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    I am quite overweight and I used to hate going to the gym by myself to the point where I would not go if I had to go by myself. Over time I got over it, the gym is "me time" I dont care if people are looking at me and if they are they are probably thinking "good for that girl for making the change" With this being said I go to a women's only gym.

    I don't go to the gym to stare at boys or feel like I am being stared at. I have actually learned to love the gym, as a mom this is some of the only time I get to myself. Monday to Friday from 5 am to 7 am you will always find me at the gym. The more I go the more confident I feel.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
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    I think it is all in your head. My thoughts on this is that if I saw someone at the gym that was even like twice my size, I wouldn't think "what a fat***". My thoughts would be that it's good that they decided to try to get healthy. So I choose to (probably naively) assume that everyone else thinks along the same lines when they see me working out. I figure that it doesn't matter if you're there to lose a lot of weight, to lose a bit of weight, to maintain weight, or to build muscle, we're all just there for our health.
  • runmybunsoff
    runmybunsoff Posts: 224 Member
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    I used to feel that way. But now I don't. I am EXTREMELY shy and introverted, (like, so much so at one point I had to get professional/medical help on this, lol still workin' on it) so this was a huge deal for me as well! I share a very very small gym in my apartment complex, and I run at a local park, and there are lookers galore! It is very intimidating at times (I live in a town that has extremely fit navy middies (stud muffins like whoa) and beltway yuppies.) I see people all the time, and felt very self-conscious.

    But lately, every time I pass someone by while I am running, or lifting weights, I send everyone around me "undetectable good vibes" to them (this sounds so silly, I know) by mentally saying "WORK IT GIRL/MAN WE GOT THIS" And it makes me feel stupendously better about my self as well as the environment that I'm in. Because, everyone's on a mission to get healthy, and that dedication and focus is SOOOO inspiring to me in it of it self. I hope I was able to give you a laugh out of this. Cheers and good luck~
  • pclarinetto
    pclarinetto Posts: 33 Member
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    i go to goodlife gym, and there is two in my town one for women and one for both i tend to go to the women one more, i dont like when i go to the co ed one and guys just stare at me and people act like im so un welcome to be there. i always here people wispering to there friends like what a waste of space when im on the machines. like i try really hard to lose the weight and im smaller then i used to me and just fustraing when people make you feel so unwanted and akward, just wondering if i am the only one who feels like this. or how to other people handle it. and ignoring it is not the easist thing to do.

    i used to. i joined curves for that very reason, but it wasn't giving me what i needed (geared for older ladies). now i go to the gym with the attitude of "f you, i'm going to do what i need to do". i do my cardio upstairs and view the floor of the gym and realized there that i go to a very diverse gym and no one is an idiot like that. there are kids, silver sneakers, people in crutches/walker, very large people, and twiggy people. everyone is there to get healthy so who cares. it's better to be there than on the couch so i support you. so now i no longer feel intimidated or scared. i feel more empowered and get better workouts because i don't care what people think.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 814 Member
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    I think it is all in your head. My thoughts on this is that if I saw someone at the gym that was even like twice my size, I wouldn't think "what a fat***". My thoughts would be that it's good that they decided to try to get healthy. So I choose to (probably naively) assume that everyone else thinks along the same lines when they see me working out. I figure that it doesn't matter if you're there to lose a lot of weight, to lose a bit of weight, to maintain weight, or to build muscle, we're all just there for our health.

    I have to agree with this. I don't think people are like, "Wow, that person is a super fat, waste of space." because everyone started somewhere. Seriously, everyone. I know that when I see an overweight person at the gym, I silently root for them, especially when I see them working so hard. I know a lot of other people feel the same way. Also, when I started at the gym, people were nothing but friendly and helpful. Might just be my gym, I dunno.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I think it is time for you to find a new gym.

    I've had two gym memberships since I started getting serious about losing weight. First one was with Snap Fitness - I joined there because it seemed like there was a wide range of people who went to this gym. There were people at all different levels of fitness. No one passed judgement on anyone else. No one talked negatively behind anyone's back, etc.

    Now, we have a membership with Powerhouse gym. This gym is larger and sometimes seems to be geared more towards people at the top level of their fitness goals. But, I still see a lot of people in all stages of fitness.

    I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't have joined Powerhouse initially. I think I would have been far too self conscious at that gym when we first started out. Now that I'm at my goal weight and simply maintaining, it doesn't bother me. But, I can see how it would be intimidating to a newcomer to weight loss. However. Even though people seem to be at a higher level overall, I NEVER hear ANYONE making rude comments, being mean to others, etc. People are really nice there. I feel like Snap is a beginner gym and Powerhouse is the gym people switch to as they increase their fitness levels and reach their goals.

    I would find a different gym to attend. The one you're going to is the exact kind of place that turns people OFF to gym memberships!
  • pclarinetto
    pclarinetto Posts: 33 Member
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    When I see really heavy people exercising at my gym, I see so much of myself in them that I at times I am overcome with feelings of excitement for them, that they could be changing their lives for the better like I have. I cheer them on, sometimes silently & sometimes not. The ones who keep coming & keep rockin it out are an inspiration to everyone...any "normal-sized" person can go to the gym & do stuff. But how much inner strength & perseverance does it take as a >300 lb person to keep going & working out no matter what people think?

    i don't know why, but i get super happy when i see a very large person at the gym. i cheer for them inside and feel like a proud parent even though i don't know the person. it makes me happy seeing them make a change for the better and i view them differently then the large people i see buying tons of crap food at the store. i know it's wrong to think "why are you eating that" because i hate when people tell me i shouldn't have something without knowing me and how i don't regularly eat whatever it is they're telling me i shouldn't eat, but i can't help it when it's the same people getting the same thing...(i'm a cashier).
  • pclarinetto
    pclarinetto Posts: 33 Member
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    I have to agree with this. I don't think people are like, "Wow, that person is a super fat, waste of space." because everyone started somewhere. Seriously, everyone. I know that when I see an overweight person at the gym, I silently root for them, especially when I see them working so hard. I know a lot of other people feel the same way. Also, when I started at the gym, people were nothing but friendly and helpful. Might just be my gym, I dunno.

    yes!
  • IndyMode
    IndyMode Posts: 54 Member
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    don't feel awkward! why would anyone judge a bigger person at the gym? I see a bigger guy at the gym everytime I'm there and he works out hard and I think good for him. Maybe he thinks I stare because I notice him.

    I do feel self concious in the gym around some guys though and I wish there was an all girl gym near where I lived.
  • lombrica
    lombrica Posts: 1,419 Member
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    When I joined my current gym... I felt like it was the "trendy" gym where all the pretty people went to. I was hesistant but I am glad that I joined.

    Here's the thing... IN MY HEAD... I felt like the fat girl in the gym. IN MY HEAD, I figured people were looking at me or watching me. But, I decided that I think that was only ever in my head. There have been people who come up and talk to me about "how proud" they are... as though they know me?!? Or, that my going to the gym is any different than any of them... but I know that it's coming from a good place. I guess what I am saying is... be careful of what you read into the interactions you have with other people... and be cautious not to assume that they are saying/thinking things that perhaps are really the things that you may be thinking about yourself...

    As I started going, the regulars started to know me... as a regular. People knew that I was gonna be there at least 5 times a week, more often 6 times a week and it's not unusual that I am there 7 days a week! The regulars knew which machines I would use, as I knew what machines they would. I started working with a trainer... and continue one time a week. I've ventured past my comfort zone, I have tried new machines, used the free weight section. I know... I can hold my own with any other in the gym! And somewhere... somewhere along the way - I stopped feeling like the fat girl in the gym. I just feel like it's my second home and that I belong there!

    And... sometimes - people aren't saying what you think that they are... for example - the other day a cute guy came over and started talking... to me. About my progress, how hard I worked and how I was looking better... Not what I thought was gonna happen... I'm glad that I allowed that to happen versus being caught up in my own judgements of myself...

    Moral of all of that?!? Keep going... soon, you will be the regular. If people really are doing things that are unwelcoming, just know that you will be there to welcome the next "you" that walks into the gym. You can help determine that... you can. Good Luck!

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