loss of discipline and feeling guilty

VRuff
VRuff Posts: 49 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
ive been completely out of whack the last couple of weeks. ive been on and off my calorie goals and ive gained a pound and a half and im feeling really disappointed. i havent worked out for over a month, first i had the excuse because i was moving, then it just turned into me not doing it. i keep telling myself that im going to go for a run tomorrow, but tomorrow never comes! i dont want to mess up the progress that ive had so far. ive been going back to bingeing and eating out of boredom. sometimes it feels like once i start going over my calories, i cant stop. i know my calorie goals are really low, but i felt the need to set them that way since i havent been working out. please dont lash out of me for that...as you can see, i always end up eating more than that anyway. i just really need some support and maybe even some motivation? i know i want to lose the weight; i have 29 pounds to go to my GW and i cant wait to get there. i guess i just need to slow down the eating but im having a hard time...

Replies

  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    chill!

    I've just had my kids home for 2 weeks, school holidays, kicked off by EASTER. Yes, that's right, easter.

    I had, by dint of starvation and slaving, made it down to 92.1kg before the start of this hols. This morning's weigh-in? cough cough, 94.5.

    Sob.

    Never mind, it was worth it. Well, okay maybe not but it's no big deal. Back on the wagon today, Hungry as anything right now but retraining my tummy and in 1/2 hr I'll have a hot cup of milo and everything will be happy ever after. :)

    Don't worry about what happened yesterday. Yesterday is so... yesterday, man. It's like so yesterday. Today's where it's at. You ready to go back on the diet right now? Need another week? I think if there's anything I've learned about life this time around it's don't worry about it. Just don't bother worrying about it. Look forwards, not backwards, and enjoy yourself. :)
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    My strategy when I get lost like this is not to lower my calories but to increase them.

    Setting yourself up with a very low calorie goal when you're already having trouble sticking to a healthy eating plan seems to me to be just setting yourself up to fail. Set a realistic goal (mainenance or just 100 cals below) and see if you can stick to this amount.

    You don't have to run to exercise, walking or dancing or jumping around (or moving boxes!) all burn calories too. Just fit in something - even 10 mins 2 or 3 times a day.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Just had a look at your diary.

    First: up your calorie goal to something achievable - you have zero chance of achieving an unachievable goal and you cheat yourself of the satisfaction of having managed it.

    How tall are you? Is 2000 your maintenance? If so, 1800 cals a day will slowly lose you some weight - and when you fill in your diary you won't feel like a fail when you eat 1400 cals, you'll feel like a win.

    Good on you for filling in the diary though: I think that's about the most important thing.

    :)
  • ccnjc4e
    ccnjc4e Posts: 142 Member
    Just had a look at your diary.

    First: up your calorie goal to something achievable - you have zero chance of achieving an unachievable goal and you cheat yourself of the satisfaction of having managed it.

    How tall are you? Is 2000 your maintenance? If so, 1800 cals a day will slowly lose you some weight - and when you fill in your diary you won't feel like a fail when you eat 1400 cals, you'll feel like a win.

    Good on you for filling in the diary though: I think that's about the most important thing.

    :)

    1000 calories a day is too low. 1200 should be the bare min.
  • bethjt2411
    bethjt2411 Posts: 4
    Look try not to tear yourself down too much. I think we've all been there. We put big expectations on ourselves and then when we do falter it makes it so much worse. Your life has obviously been busy and you just need to get back into it again.Try to set small goals for yourself with both your food and exercise. Maybe instead of putting pressure on yourself to go for a run (which for me after having done no exercise for a month would seem horrendous!) just start with i'm going to get up today and have a decent, healthy breakfast and go for a brisk walk. Gradually keep upping the intensity and get back to where you used to be. Anything helps, you just have to make the first step. And then you'll start seeing results and become more and more motivated and realise how good healthy diet and moving around makes you feel. For me if i'm in a bad patch I plan out all my meals and enter them into MFP the day before so I feel like i'm commited and have a responsibility to not change my diet. I also have a personal trainer and feel responsible to him. He tells me when measurements are coming up so that just helps me even more to stay focused. I hope that helps. Good luck and i'm sure you will get to your goal soon enough :)
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    thank you sooo much! this is what i really needed to hear :flowerforyou:

    sounds like your life has been super hectic as well! i had a big event scheduled this month and after 3 weeks of intense preparation, im finally able to say im done! im a baker/cake decorator and i run my own business, and this being my first major event, you can imagine the stress level LOL.

    i know i shouldnt worry as much as i do, especially cuz it's only a pound and a half and not 5. i just dont want to slack off to the point where it all comes piling back on. and you're right about having to retrain my tummy. i hate when i eat even though im full and the fact that i dont stop myself really scares me. so tomorrow im going to stick to my calorie goals, and if i can get that run in, i would be really happy. and no matter how hungry i get, water it is, until my brain learns i cant be eating whatever, whenever.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    I agree completely - you're eating 1400 or 1500 cals a day - that's not failure, that's a great day in my world.
    Actually, that's still a bit low for me - anything under about 1450 NET calories (ie. 1450 plus exercise cals) leaves me very grumpy, I can't sustain that for more than a day or two at a time. And, I don't have to and I'm betting you don't either.
    Reset your goals, choose 1/2 pound a week weight loss, let your activity level at "lightly active" (you aren't sedentary if you have a 1 yr old!), eat all those cals plus your exercise cals and be kind to your self.

    By the way you have the most gorgeous little girl - she looks just like her mumma!
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    My strategy when I get lost like this is not to lower my calories but to increase them.

    Setting yourself up with a very low calorie goal when you're already having trouble sticking to a healthy eating plan seems to me to be just setting yourself up to fail. Set a realistic goal (mainenance or just 100 cals below) and see if you can stick to this amount.

    You don't have to run to exercise, walking or dancing or jumping around (or moving boxes!) all burn calories too. Just fit in something - even 10 mins 2 or 3 times a day.

    your right about that...my calorie is really low :frown: i wish i could say i can stick to it but its obvious i cant. and it doesnt help that my husband has the opposity problem; he is so skinny and needs to gain atleast 30 pounds to be considered normal weight. i hate turning down his dinners, and we end up eating really late because he cooks for too long lol. so i end up snacking before dinner since im usually starving by then, and by the time dinners ready im full and i end up overeating. it really does suck...

    i was doing JM Banish Fat Boost Metabolism every day for over a month, so i could increase my overall endurance and heart health. i went from running 1/9th of a mile to running 2, which made me feel awesome. my ultimate goal is to run across the GW Bridge, which is right behind my apartment. i see people running it all the time and it makes me feel like i can do it too. i just need to put my running shoes on and do it!
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    Just had a look at your diary.

    First: up your calorie goal to something achievable - you have zero chance of achieving an unachievable goal and you cheat yourself of the satisfaction of having managed it.

    How tall are you? Is 2000 your maintenance? If so, 1800 cals a day will slowly lose you some weight - and when you fill in your diary you won't feel like a fail when you eat 1400 cals, you'll feel like a win.

    Good on you for filling in the diary though: I think that's about the most important thing.

    :)

    im 5'5 at 188 and i think my maintenance is 2030. i have it set for 2 lb loss a week, which is why my calorie goal is 1030. every time i see red, i feel defeated...i really should change my goals at this point
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    Look try not to tear yourself down too much. I think we've all been there. We put big expectations on ourselves and then when we do falter it makes it so much worse. Your life has obviously been busy and you just need to get back into it again.Try to set small goals for yourself with both your food and exercise. Maybe instead of putting pressure on yourself to go for a run (which for me after having done no exercise for a month would seem horrendous!) just start with i'm going to get up today and have a decent, healthy breakfast and go for a brisk walk. Gradually keep upping the intensity and get back to where you used to be. Anything helps, you just have to make the first step. And then you'll start seeing results and become more and more motivated and realise how good healthy diet and moving around makes you feel. For me if i'm in a bad patch I plan out all my meals and enter them into MFP the day before so I feel like i'm commited and have a responsibility to not change my diet. I also have a personal trainer and feel responsible to him. He tells me when measurements are coming up so that just helps me even more to stay focused. I hope that helps. Good luck and i'm sure you will get to your goal soon enough :)

    i guess you're right about jumping into running...it's just that i figured i was running 2 miles before along with cardio every day that i can do it again now. as far as pre-filling in my journal, i do try to do that as much as possible. it works as long as i dont give in to my Mother in law and her snacks she keeps buying me. i try to be a stickler for meal planning, but when the husband wants something different or nothing at all, im stuck. i bought some low cal oatmeal, grits, whole grain cereals, and snack bars to tame the hunger pangs during the day, which seems to work fine
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    I agree completely - you're eating 1400 or 1500 cals a day - that's not failure, that's a great day in my world.
    Actually, that's still a bit low for me - anything under about 1450 NET calories (ie. 1450 plus exercise cals) leaves me very grumpy, I can't sustain that for more than a day or two at a time. And, I don't have to and I'm betting you don't either.
    Reset your goals, choose 1/2 pound a week weight loss, let your activity level at "lightly active" (you aren't sedentary if you have a 1 yr old!), eat all those cals plus your exercise cals and be kind to your self.

    By the way you have the most gorgeous little girl - she looks just like her mumma!

    yea it seems like i end up eating around 1500 cals a day, but i think that its mostly cuz ive been over indulging in high cal snacks since i went on vacation. i hate that once i have like an "off" day, i cant go back to my regular sensible diet easily. i have a hard time retraining myself to eat normally again.

    and thank you by the way-she is my 19 month old Phoenixx and i love her to pieces! :happy:
  • hanniejong
    hanniejong Posts: 556 Member
    I agree with everyone that your calories are set to low. Try setting your loss for each week to 1 lb instead of two that will up your calories as well. In you pic I see a small child why not take the baby walking each day that gives you exercise and more calories as well.

    You say your hubby is really skinny well so is mine, I cook at home and I cook the same for both of us but then I add potatos to his dinner or mor pasta or rice. He can't afford to lose weight, but we are on a budget so I work it out to suit both of us.

    You can friend me if you like.
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
    Jeez Louise, I have been there! Over the past 18 months, there have been times when I've majorly slipped up and then feel crippled with guilt over it.

    Just remember that it's never too late to pick yourself back up - one of the most important things I learned is that one binge is not license to then go on and binge for a week - in for a penny, in for a pound...right? Nah. I'd just write off the initial binge, and get back on the wagon as soon as possible.

    And sometimes life just gets in the way of all the best intentions - it happens! :)
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    I agree with everyone that your calories are set to low. Try setting your loss for each week to 1 lb instead of two that will up your calories as well. In you pic I see a small child why not take the baby walking each day that gives you exercise and more calories as well.

    You say your hubby is really skinny well so is mine, I cook at home and I cook the same for both of us but then I add potatos to his dinner or mor pasta or rice. He can't afford to lose weight, but we are on a budget so I work it out to suit both of us.

    You can friend me if you like.

    i take her out to the park and play with her for an hour or so, but the weather's been nasty here for the past week so i havent been able to. i did get a lot of walking in during our vacation...apparently walking up and down the boardwalk for 4 days equaled to 12 miles!

    as far as meals with the hubby goes, i try to limit my calories during the day so i can have more to spare for then. i still end up going over though, sadly. but i think i just need to fill up on water instead of snacks when i get hungry so i dont see so much red at the end of the day
  • VRuff
    VRuff Posts: 49 Member
    Jeez Louise, I have been there! Over the past 18 months, there have been times when I've majorly slipped up and then feel crippled with guilt over it.

    Just remember that it's never too late to pick yourself back up - one of the most important things I learned is that one binge is not license to then go on and binge for a week - in for a penny, in for a pound...right? Nah. I'd just write off the initial binge, and get back on the wagon as soon as possible.

    And sometimes life just gets in the way of all the best intentions - it happens! :)

    your absolutely right! i shouldnt have let myself get out of hand just because i messed up one day. that contributes to a lot of my guilt and obvious weight gain. i hope that eating a sensible diet for the next 2 weeks will reset my body and i can move forward with my weight loss :happy:

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