Friends and Coworkers - How do you deal?

jules1984
jules1984 Posts: 439 Member
edited December 18 in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone, I'm curious!

When people notice you eating healthy and ask if you're "on a diet or something" do you just shrug or answer yes?

How much do you let people in on your plans/successes/failures?

How much does your skin crawl when someone asks if you're trying to lose weight loudly in front of lots of people?

How do you handle dinner with friends at unhealthy places? Do you decline the invitation, eat the healthiest thing you can find in a small portion (prompting everyone to comment), or exercise your butt off (and starve in the morning) to eat a normal looking amount?

Replies

  • cpettigrew
    cpettigrew Posts: 168 Member
    I tell coworkers "yes I am and no one is asking you to eat it, so keep your opinions of my food to yourself." Im not always nice about some things. A couple coworkers have been wonderful motivators, the rest....well....
    I have learned to eat when some people arent around just so i dont try to stab them with my fork. I have that luxury due to my job, i know some people dont.
    As far as eating out. I have one cheat day per week. If i end up eating out, im just a little stricter about what i eat on my cheat day. i learned the hard way not to deprive myself. Very bad. I dont over eat on my cheat day, i just eat what i want, or what i have been craving.
    It has worked so far. 18 lbs/1 pants size in 3 months.
  • LesliePierceRN
    LesliePierceRN Posts: 860 Member
    I tell anyone who asks that No, I'm not on a diet.. I'm an athlete and food is my fuel. Everything I put in my mouth has a purpose in my plan. Not to say that I don't enjoy what I eat.. I do! I find many foods and combinations that others enjoy as well, just because it's functional doesn't mean it has to be boring. I'm a nurse working midnights, and when my coworkers want to order out (pizza or wings or pretty much anything take out is a bad idea at 2 am), I just say No Thanks, I brought three bags of food (which I do!) I eat my veggies and bagels and chicken and tuna and cereal and fruit and whatever else. I eat better and more than any of my coworkers. If I'm going to eat out, I just choose the best thing there is on the menu for my needs at that time. Like I said, everything I put in my mouth fuels either my workouts or recovery. I never starve myself nor do I tally up how 'bad' I've been and then punish myself by overdoing it with exercise. Two wrongs don't make a right. It's all about consistency and education, not perfection.
  • Don't decline an invite just because you are on a diet. Just eat what you want, and the amount you want, and if people comment on it, tell them that you are watching what you eat and leave it at that.

    YOU aren't making anyone feel bad because you are dieting. THEY are making THEMSELVES feel bad and using you as a scapegoat.
  • wftiger
    wftiger Posts: 1,283 Member
    I fess right up. No way I really can't after losing almost 80 lbs since Nov., they've all noticed already. Most of them noticed right away as my eating changed drastically as I would no longer order out with them. My co-workers have been wonderful and supportive and I could not have asked for a better group cheering me on. Some have jumped on the bandwagon with me and we are happily going about our new eating plans. I have many of them wanting to go with me on my walks at breaks and are sharing recipes with some as well. I guess it isn't so bad working at a place with over 80% or so women now. :-)

    I never turn down invitations to eat. I do sometimes turn down ones to just drink as I can't drink on my meds and will not waste that kind of calories on drink and not food. My gang know I am eating healthy so we usually go to a place I can eat or I am certainly a big girl and can make the best choice for myself (although the lasagna last week might prove that untrue). If I eat too much then I chalk it up to living my life and move on. I don't punish myself physically for it (the mental part is a whole other story).
  • jesscaponigro
    jesscaponigro Posts: 114 Member
    I don't consider myself on a diet (because if I did it would be a huge failure), instead I tell them I am making healthier food choices to better my life. Most people understand that and leave it alone. I never told anyone when I started losing weight because I feel as that puts to much pressure, and this isn't supposed to be stressful, I am doing it for me.

    As far as eating out, if you know where you are going, look at the menu and plan ahead before you arrive. Another thing you can do is only eat half of whatever you order and get a big salad with your dressing on the side.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member

    How do you handle dinner with friends at unhealthy places? Do you decline the invitation, eat the healthiest thing you can find in a small portion (prompting everyone to comment), or exercise your butt off (and starve in the morning) to eat a normal looking amount?
    I dont dine out at unhealthy places, period.
    Ive been invited to tag along with the women at work at many places that I wouldnt even be caught dead in... If Im not interested, I dont go - plain and simple.

    Today, my meal was criticized by someone who truly never has anything nice to say ever. Every word out of her mouth is a negative comment, and in some cases extremely nasty.

    My lunch was 6oz of top round steak that I cut into strips for ease of weighing. I made a homemade marinade using only fresh ingredients that I had a couple TB's worth on it (a Lemon-Garlic marinade) One cup of sliced summer squash with a light dijon sauce, and 1/2 C of freshly steamed greenbeans

    I heard my Team Leader say "OMG that smells good"..
    I heard the negative-monger say "it looks too healthy with that steak"

    I sat down and said "Thank you" to my team leader and offered her a bite to try - from which she appreciated and accepted.

    The negative-monger said "Arent you gonna offer me a bite?"

    I said "evidently this is too healthy with that steak of mine so I thought why bother?"

    Everyone at the table laughed and said "HAAA YOU GOT CAUGHT!"...

    She got pretty angry and I looked at her and said "I dont have to put up with you being negative with me, my meals or anything. Plain and simple, if you cant say anything nice, you better keep your trap shut and dont ruin my 30 minutes for lunch break because of food - my food didnt hurt you at all"...

    I just dont put up with garbage...
  • JMPerlin
    JMPerlin Posts: 287 Member
    I try not to tell anyone because there are many saboteurs out there. For example my job has been entertaining visitors for the past 2 weeks and bringing in a lot of pizza. As people keep coming to tell about the free food I made the mistake of telling the person I couldn't eat it as I am working on losing weight. The person then proceeded to wave the slice in my face, to which I responded that I would remove that pizza from my face before I smack it out of your hand and knock it on the floor. He only stopped when I actually started to do it. The jerk!
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
    NO DONT TELL THEM! THEY SABOTAGE!! My bf is trying to do that, i dont think intentionally, but because he is use to us eating a certain way, then sometimes I think he does it intentionally because I think he is afraid I will change, huh, maybe find someone better. Might just do that. :)
  • :flowerforyou: I guess I am really lucky all my co-workers and friends know what I do and ALL are very supportive. In fact 3 others are also doing MFP with me. We go out to eat about 2x's a month and we do very good. We go online before going to the restaurant and figure out what we are going to eat before we even get there. That way we build up a craving for that food and nothing else looks good. Those not on the diet just encourage us and let us take "cheat" bites of their desserts if we want and if they get them. Mostly they don't get them so it is really easy. They tend to eat better themselves when they are with us.
  • jules1984
    jules1984 Posts: 439 Member
    They gave out free pedometers near our office. One of the second shift guys loudly asked why I was wearing it and if I was trying to lose weight or something. I was across the office at this point so I just acted as if I hadn't even heard him.

    My boyfriend finally got his roommate and his girl to go on a double date with us. They chose Red Robin. Luckily I can mask eating a plain burger with "I can't eat dairy so cheese is out and I'm not big on mayo." I'm 5'3" and only on 1200 calories a day. 2/3 of a burger and fries was 800 calories! I had no time to work out that day so I ate very very little for breakfast and lunch. I did it but I really don't want to go about my life that way.

    BTW FYI: Leaving cheese, mayo/sauce, and bacon off your burgers drops a whopping 500-600 calories from your meal at Red Robin.
  • Tonnina
    Tonnina Posts: 979 Member
    If someone asks me "Are you on a diet?" I proudly say "Yes I am! I've lost 40lbs so far and I'm aiming to lose another 60!" Which is usually met with a "you go girl" or "Awesome!"
    If someone were to call me out in a group I'd answer the same. I see no shame in admitting that I'm trying to be healthier
    And If I'm going somewhere where the food isn't the healthiest I either split it with someone or ask for a to go box with my meal.. They are my friends and as such they shouldn't treat me different or look down on me for trying to be healthy.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I talk about food and fitness openly and constantly if the subject is broached near me cause I'm really proud of what I've achieved.

    According to at least 3 of my friends, I inspired them :-D

    TALK IT UP!
  • mjvasko
    mjvasko Posts: 37
    I got most of mine involved, and we've actually all started working out together. I wouldn't call it a competition, but we all support each other.

    It's been a lot of fun.
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    There is a large table near my desk at work and it is often used to distribute special occasion lunches, snacks, birthday cakes, retirement cakes, doughnuts...whatever...

    My recent neglect towards this table has raised many an eyebrow but my 42 pounds lost in the past few months has overshadowed it.

    Say what they may...everyone has commented about how wonderful my weight loss is...

    If anyone in the office has a problem with me losing weight, well...that's what headphones are for.
  • hyde1977
    hyde1977 Posts: 476 Member
    "I am not on a Diet....the word Die is in Diet".....That is what I always say.....or I turn around and say are you going to put that in your body? Do you know what is in it?

    Most places now have many options to choose from. When I go out....no matter what I order I split in 1/2. Eat half and save the other half for later!

    It does not have to be uncomfortable. My friends/co workers that I go out with are really supportive.....those that have not been...I just don't hang around with anymore...they are not real friends......

    You cannot stop living life....so if you go out every once and and awhile and enjoy some yummy foods.....its okay! Remember it took you years to become unheathly....one night is not going hurt you!!!!
  • I usually just say I am trying to eat healthier. Saying you're on a diet just makes people think you want to hear their opinion and that's usually not the case at all! If they ask more then I'm inclined to tell them about MFP because they might be interested for themselves.
    If I'm invited for dinner I usually just plan ahead. I'll look at the menu online and see what is healthy or unhealthy and stay away from it. Don't decline as this will just deter you from losing weight. Don't deprive yourself of the bad stuff something either. Everything in moderation!
  • beth40n2
    beth40n2 Posts: 233 Member
    I just started dieting and then people started noticing the weight loss. Then I started getting compliments.

    If you are going to eat with unhealthy people, eat a healthy snack first so you are not very hungry and then make the best choise possible. You can do extra exercise if you know this will go on late in the day. And if all this fails, just call it your day off and start back on track tomorrow.
  • deineira
    deineira Posts: 75 Member
    I'm well known at this point for my healthy eating habits...it has nothing to do with being on a diet, it's just me. Fortunately, no one sabotages me. If I think back to when I first started to lose weight, I was just candid with people that I wanted to lose a few pounds and was going to be watching what I ate. This did not cause a lot of drama, and I found that people are very supportive. I probably have the biggest issue with my sweetie because we share a lot of meals and he likes to eat junk food. He's basically a healthy eater, but he definitely likes his burgers, tacos, bbq, etc. I just try to find a place where I can get a salad, and he can get whatever, and we're both happy.

    Good luck to you and don't let people make their issue your issue!
  • maggie4097
    maggie4097 Posts: 156
    I don't consider myself on a diet (because if I did it would be a huge failure), instead I tell them I am making healthier food choices to better my life. Most people understand that and leave it alone. I never told anyone when I started losing weight because I feel as that puts to much pressure, and this isn't supposed to be stressful, I am doing it for me.

    As far as eating out, if you know where you are going, look at the menu and plan ahead before you arrive. Another thing you can do is only eat half of whatever you order and get a big salad with your dressing on the side.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Exactly.
  • I ran into this today with a foreman on my job, he came up and was like Oh wow look at all that healthy stuff in your lunch box, what gives.

    I told him I felt it was time for me to change, my eating habits where going to put me in a box early and I don't want that. He took it rather well, even asked me if I am planning to incorporate it into my daily life. Which I told him I already did so. I am one month deep and have never felt better.
  • TakeMyTai
    TakeMyTai Posts: 28 Member
    When people notice you eating healthy and ask if you're "on a diet or something" do you just shrug or answer yes?

    I tell them that I and everybody else is always on a diet, I just added healthier food into my diet. It always irritates me when someone asks if I'm on a diet only because what the word 'diet' means.
  • caritiger
    caritiger Posts: 82 Member
    What always makes me laugh is that now that I am 100 pounds down, they always want to know what I am doing, and are disappointed when I tell them, "Healthy food and exercise." They want to hear I took a magic pill or something, or so it seems.
  • Mcmilligen
    Mcmilligen Posts: 332 Member
    Honestly, I find as long as I don't make a big deal out of it myself... people leave me alone. I go to the kitchen, grab my food, go back to my desk and sit down. BUT if I happen to be eating in the boardroom in a group situation for work related forums (I'm an animator, we go over shots every now and then), I often get comments because there will be free pizza served quite often during these. "Holy healthy, batman!" or "Jesus, stop rubbing your health in our faces!" . I choose to take these as compliments, because I am envious of another persons meal when it looks healthy. It usually means it was home made, and tastes delicious too!

    As a response, if I was asked "what are you, on a diet?" or "PFSH, like you need to lose weight", I say: "I just like to fuel my body with things that make me feel good. Those things just happen to be 'healthy' foods."

    I'm usually excited to tell people what I'm doing at the gym, or what cool new healthy recipe/ingredient I've discovered (I love to hear feedback or if they've tried said recipe). If they seem uninterested, I don't talk to them about health related topics anymore.

    If I'm out with friends or family and the restaurant isn't the healthiest, I make the best choice I can. If possible, I'll see if the nutritional info is on my mobile MFP. But other times if I'm uncertain, sometimes it's better to make it up by buckling down the following week. :)
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    Whenever someone asks whether or not I'm dieting, I just respond with a simple, 'Well not DIETING per say, but I am watching what I eat. Basically I eat what I want, but I just watch portion sizes.. y'know'. That usually shuts them up. Luckily for me my coworkers are members of the very same gym located right next door to our store, so a majority of the questions come from customers who spot the pedometer i wear while at work.

    And as for sharing success/failure stories, I only do it with customers who ask. I'm a pretty shy person at first anyways, but sometimes I'm asked to give someone a tip or two---For instance, there was a customer who said that she'd been wanting to lose 80 pounds, but couldn't stick to her diet after a month. Sure, she lost some weight by exercising and stuff, but that she'd been sick and tired of eating only salads and health foods... sooooo naturally I informed her that weight loss isn't all salads and water. i also turn quite a few of my customers on to MFP.. but whether they join or not is beyond me.

    When it comes to eating out with friends, I generally try and stick to what's healthiest. Before going, I sometimes skim through the Eat This, Not That booklet that I keep around the house. Other times I eat what I want. Hey, I can't turn down fries forever... just too damn good... and as long as they fit into the macros, I'm good.. at least I'd like to think so. One naughty night isn't gonna put 90+ pounds back on my frame.
  • Jennical
    Jennical Posts: 219 Member
    Don't decline an invite just because you are on a diet. Just eat what you want, and the amount you want, and if people comment on it, tell them that you are watching what you eat and leave it at that.

    YOU aren't making anyone feel bad because you are dieting. THEY are making THEMSELVES feel bad and using you as a scapegoat.

    THIS!!
  • Lightbulb1088
    Lightbulb1088 Posts: 189 Member
    Sounds like some of those people are just plain mean.

    I tell people I am just trying to eat healthy. I would only tell the ones that you want to know what you are really doing. you need postive thoughts on this jouney.

    I liked the comment someone made about don't beat yourself up for 1 meal out with your friends. Try to eat as healty as you can and enjoy and move on past it.
  • Lightbulb1088
    Lightbulb1088 Posts: 189 Member
    Don't decline an invite just because you are on a diet. Just eat what you want, and the amount you want, and if people comment on it, tell them that you are watching what you eat and leave it at that.

    YOU aren't making anyone feel bad because you are dieting. THEY are making THEMSELVES feel bad and using you as a scapegoat.

    THIS!!
    I like whte this person said. I agree. :)
  • davenportk83
    davenportk83 Posts: 44 Member
    It is so unfortunate that many of you have received "snarky" or plain rude comments. I really didn't tell my coworkers, but they sure noticed I was dropping weight and gave me great feedback. I have lost 25 since joining MFP and 15 before finding the website so 40 total. Since my coworkers noticed my personal choices becoming more healthy, they have pretty much all started eating healthier as well, even asking for advice sometimes. Our boss has started bringing fresh fruit,yogurt and bagels to our meetings instead of sausage biscuits, cupcakes, and donuts. For staff birthday parties, no more cakes, just mini cupcakes, fruit, pretzels and healthy dips. One co-worker started walking on their lunch break and eating more vegetables, and another has lost 12 pounds by simply drinking only water and packing a healthier lunch. I have been very fortunate to have only very positive coworkers and I also feel like I have affected their lives in a positive way also. Leading more by example than anything.

    As far as eating out, no restaurant is off limits. I just ask for what I want. For example today, I had salad, half a turkey sandwich and steamed broccoli. I simply ask for fat free salad dressing, hold the mayo on my sandwich and substitued the broccoli for the fries the resturant had on the menu. I wasn't embarassed, I just feel like I am fueling my body the way I want it fueled. My coworkers all tried the dressing and shared a fry or two with me too :-)

    Do what's best for you, PERIOD!!! Good luck!
  • Wreak_Havoc
    Wreak_Havoc Posts: 597
    Don't decline an invite just because you are on a diet. Just eat what you want, and the amount you want, and if people comment on it, tell them that you are watching what you eat and leave it at that.

    YOU aren't making anyone feel bad because you are dieting. THEY are making THEMSELVES feel bad and using you as a scapegoat.

    Applauding!! Dead on!!!
This discussion has been closed.