Ranting..but seriously..what's the deal?!!
KristyB32
Posts: 76 Member
So, after all this time..I guess I was "expecting" more noticeable results. (clothing sizes or anything)I know I can be pretty hard on myself, but I've worked my tail off thinking that by now, I would have some pretty dramatic changes. Even if I didn't so much notice, wouldn't others see a change? The only people that have taken time to say anything at all or even acknowledge that I've lost even a little weight is my immediate family, and even their comments haven't been too impressive to keep me motivated. Guess I'm just getting discouraged after 7 months of hard work and dedication. Just wondering how long it's really going to take to get the results I'm wanting and what I've been working for. Has Anyone else had or having this problem? If so, how many pounds did you lose before you or even anyone else noticed a difference? (I have about 24 more lbs to reach my short term goal, but my ultimate goal would be around 50-60 more lbs) ughh that sounds so discouraging!!! :sad: sorry for the rant..but I really need some motivation! It's gonna pay off eventually, right?!! 
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Replies
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Don't let it get you down. Looking at your pictures I can see you have lost weight. Some people don't mention it because they either don't want you to think they are saying you were fat before (as some people do take have you lost weight as an insult, I know this from experience) but also some people may want to lose weight themselves and feel a little envious of how well you are doing. Also, once people have mentioned it and everyone gets used to you being smaller the compliments do stop,but what you have got to remember is that you are still doing well and people have just got used to it. The most important thing is don't do it for other people, do it for yourself. It is nice to get compliments but it is how you feel about yourself that is the most important thing. But you could always go and visit someone you haven't seen since before you lost weight for a wee compliment fix lol0
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Also measuring can help you see results that you don't see on the scale as your body is "remodeling." And focus on how much better you FEEL! 55 pounds is awesome!0
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you have lost loads !!! be proud, dont be disheartened. youve proved that you can do it and are well on your way to hitting your goal and posting that final weight loss story in the 'success' thread !!! you can do this!!! x0
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I've lost 70lbs ish since October (more since I started, but with a bit of a hiatus) and it's only now that people are starting to make comments. I think you have to get below a certain level before people feel it's 'safe' to comment. Weight and weightloss seem to be quite embarrassing things for many people, and I suspect people would rather not risk offending, by just not saying anything. it really doesn't mean it isn't noticeable.
But I reckon give it another 5-10lb and I bet people will start commenting.0 -
I found that as I was losing weight, even after 45lb that would become the new 'fat me'. It's so hard to see how well you've already done when you're focusing so much on how far you have to go.0
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Don't lose faith in yourself, you have come this far and you can really see the difference! :flowerforyou:
Some people are so wrapped in their own lives that they don't notice things going on right in front of them! Honestly you are doing amazing and as long as you feel better, that's all that counts!
Keep going, you will get there, you CAN do it!
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Have you looked carefully at your profile picture? My goodness, you are doing wonderfully! My advise is to be kind to yourself and look for all the changes you've made and celebrate them when you notice them! The nsv's are as important as the number on the scale. Has your health improved? Do you feel more comfortable in your clothing? Walking a distance or up stairs? All the types of things your working towards and achieving. Recognize the achievements because it will help you realize that your hard work is paying off. :flowerforyou:0
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its clear from your pictures that there is a big difference, you look great so don't be discouraged. i do think that sometimes people are unsure of whether to say anything so don't unless you mention first that you have been trying to lose weight. i have actually lost 35 lbs since last year and very few people have said anything!! i figure they are jealous,
keep going and try to think of the satisfaction you will have when you hit your target, even if nobody else cares, everyone on mfp will be proud of you!!:flowerforyou: 0 -
you are loosing weight and getting fitter for YOU not foe THEM.. so chin up and carry on :-)0
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Don't let it get you down. Looking at your pictures I can see you have lost weight. Some people don't mention it because they either don't want you to think they are saying you were fat before (as some people do take have you lost weight as an insult, I know this from experience) but also some people may want to lose weight themselves and feel a little envious of how well you are doing. Also, once people have mentioned it and everyone gets used to you being smaller the compliments do stop,but what you have got to remember is that you are still doing well and people have just got used to it. The most important thing is don't do it for other people, do it for yourself. It is nice to get compliments but it is how you feel about yourself that is the most important thing. But you could always go and visit someone you haven't seen since before you lost weight for a wee compliment fix lol
Thank you it's not as much a "compliment" I'm looking for..just more acknowledgement of how hard I've worked so far you know? But even that is not as important as the difference I'm wanting to see for myself. I just thought I would feel better about my progress than I do. Trust me..I wouldn't be offended at all if someone even said "you're not AS fat as you were" because then I know the hard work must be paying off. :laugh: but again, as I said, I'm looking for more from myself above anything else. 0 -
I found that as I was losing weight, even after 45lb that would become the new 'fat me'. It's so hard to see how well you've already done when you're focusing so much on how far you have to go.
YES...this is SO me!! :indifferent: always focusing on how far I have to go. :frown:0 -
55lb is an outstanding loss!!! SMILE LIKE A MANIAC COS YOU HAVE GOOD REASON TO!!!
So in your photos you're wearing black in both and I think a nice new fitted outift to show off your new shape is in order. Go on, treat yourself, and show them all how FANTASTICOLA you are!!
I think you're amazing and I can't wait for my weight loss to match yours!!!
Do not lose momentum, you've worked so hard and just look in the mirror and say, DAMN, I'M HOT!! Cos saying the truth out loud gets it into your brain.
In addition I've lost a little and my husband never notices but he sees me every day right? So last month he was in TX for 4 weeks (we live in scotland) and when he came back he totally noticed the difference. It was only 10lb but he kept saying, your face is different, your arms are different...every day it was like it was dawning on him... ...seeing what I didn't.
So don't be too hard on the folks you see on a daily basis....and dress to show off!!
You rock! :bigsmile:0 -
Not what you want to hear...but it takes time! slow and steady is the secret to this...or your body won't shrink to fit! :0)0
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I know where your coming from and it will come...slowly but surely...don't give up hope and keep your eyes on the prize...It took me drop 77 pounds before anyone including myself even noticed0
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what every one else said, but also: you comment that only your immediate family have said anything...
1. Your immediate family see you reguarly (if not every day) and tiny changes which add up to a large change over time can go unnoticed as it's incremental (nobody notices the glacier moving ;-) - have they seen your amazing before/after photos?
2. If it's your immediate family is it possible to give them permission to randomly acknowledge how well they think you are doing? It's possible that they are very impressed and proud of your dedication but don't know that you want to hear it (or are worried about 'drawing attention' to it - my partner was) or it hasn't occured to them to say anything.
You're doing so well!0 -
Thanks everyone! Very encouraging/motivating words from you all! :blushing: I knew all of my fellow mfp'ers would understand and give great advice! :flowerforyou:0
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Looking at your profile pic....there have been wonderful changes. When I look in the mirror it's hard for me not to see myself at my highest weight....but if you look at yourself...really look...You will see what an amazing job you're doing!0
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Wow, looking at your profile pics you've lost a lot! Well done!!
Its like everyone say: the people that see you everyday prob won't notice it, tough but true. This is only my 1st week on here (will have my weigh in later in the week) and have loads to loose. I know I prob be like you, a bit disappointed if no one notices that you have lost weight. But, YOU know you have and I guess you feel quite fantastic too?! And, the scales dont lie Keep up the good work!! 0 -
I'm going to add my kudos too! Did you really look at the difference between your profile pics? It's a HUGE difference!! Seriously. I'm sure that same difference is visible in every part of your body! It's very hard to be patient and watch slow progress, and it's so difficult to be easy on ourselves. Like the rest of us, we rely on others to encourage us, and some people just don't do that, for so many reasons. Come here, let us do that. AFter all, we all know exactly what you've achieved, and we understand your struggles! We're your best friends when it comes to this aspect of your life!0
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I feel the exact same way. My starting weight was 150 and I am now 129. I thought my goal weight was going to be 135 but when I got there I realised i wanted to lose at least 20 more pounds.
Part of the reason was because literally NOBODY said anything. I'm a pretty short girl, so a 21 pound weight loss should make a difference. Finally my boyfriend said something but only because I kept mentioning it.
MEH.0 -
I can see the changes in your picture - well done!
Sometimes people don't know what to say, or if they should say anything. I've had people ask me if I've lost weight then say "I noticed before but didn't know if I should've said anything" so maybe people are noticing, just not saying anything!
Don't get too worried about it. You're doing this for you, and you will see more results as you keep going. 0 -
I've lost 40lbs and the only people who have said anything to me are the ones who know I have actually lost weight and then they are surprised to hear how much I have lost. I think it depends on how much weight you have to lose. I want to lose another 80-100lbs so 40lbs to me feels like, as my friend would say, throwing a deckchair off the titanic (haha).
I'm sure you can see the weight loss but people who see you all the time may not notice it because they see you shrinking in front of them. I bet if you ran into someone you haven't seen since starting your journey then they would notice!
Don't get discouraged, keep at it! 50lbs is a huge achievement and you should be so proud of yourself.0 -
GREAT JOB!
Also, if you want to "notice" a difference, take a look at your eating habits, your exercise tolerance...These are differences we make that make a difference. Be proud of those. Without you realizing it, it will inspire people. And even when you are done losing the weight you want and are maintaining and people get used to it and stop commenting, those successes will stay with you and will continue to be noticed.
YOU ARE A SUCCESS! Keep it going...0 -
A lot of times people are hesitant to mention weight loss, because they are afraid it will come off as insulting (ie, "you were so big before, but now you look great!"). So just because people aren't saying anything, it doesn't mean they aren't noticing. All I can say is your profile picture surely shows a lot of weight loss.0
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Have you looked carefully at your profile picture? My goodness, you are doing wonderfully! My advise is to be kind to yourself and look for all the changes you've made and celebrate them when you notice them! The nsv's are as important as the number on the scale. Has your health improved? Do you feel more comfortable in your clothing? Walking a distance or up stairs? All the types of things your working towards and achieving. Recognize the achievements because it will help you realize that your hard work is paying off. :flowerforyou:
:blushing: Awe thank you! and yes, all of the things you've mentioned have improved. I know I'm just being hard on myself, I realize I've come a long way..I just get in these moods where I think of how long it's taking and I just assume I should be doing much better. Btw- you are doing quite wonderful yourself! :flowerforyou:0 -
A lot of times people are hesitant to mention weight loss, because they are afraid it will come off as insulting (ie, "you were so big before, but now you look great!"). So just because people aren't saying anything, it doesn't mean they aren't noticing. All I can say is your profile picture surely shows a lot of weight loss.
I completely agree with this!
I can see a huge difference in your profile pic. You look great!
I think sometimes people see a change, but are worried about saying anything and offending the person. I also think sometimes people wonder "Are they ill and that's why they're losing weight?" and don't want to say anything... just in case.
I've lost nearly 60lbs and went to a baby shower where I hadn't seen 3/4 of the people in at least 2-4 years. Only ONE person said anything about my weight loss. I was a bit bummed - not because I wanted compliments, but I was worried that the weight loss wasn't as noticeable as *I* thought maybe it was?0 -
I don't like mentioning it unless it's someone I'm very close with (ie I wouldn't say it to a neighbor or casual co-worker etc). As a few others have said, some people will take offense!
More importantly, remember you're doing this so that YOU feel healthier, so that YOU can enjoy being active and so that YOU feel more confident/happy with your looks. Not to impress Tom, ****, or Harry, right?0 -
Remember, you are doing this for yourself. And many people have no real idea of what to say...it points to their own flaws, perhaps.
How far did it take? Oh, about 50 pounds. I had to lose about 20 percent of my body weight.
Last year, even though I did not lose much weight, my body shape continued to change and people eventually noticed that.0 -
When I lost weight, loads of people complimented me on it, but to be honest it just made me feel more insecure as I felt I had to keep up the momentum to keep getting the compliments. I've regained a few pounds since, and I'm terrified people will notice it because they drew so much attention to the initial weight loss. So compliments can go both ways!
Also, when someone loses weight their mindset alters more slowly. You might look in the mirror and still see a 'fat' person because that's what you're accustomed to seeing, and it's how you've seen yourself for so long. Look at old and new photos of yourself for comparison; and I'm sure people you don't see very often have noticed the difference, even if they haven't said so.0 -
ok, how can they not notice when we ourselves can? Looking at your photo you really have lost alot of weight and you look great.
Maybe those people just didnt care or dont know you well enough, so dont pay attention to them. Your before and after shows the results and you did a great job of loosing the pounds.0
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