I feel guilty for joining a gym

iuali81
iuali81 Posts: 47 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a mother of 2 little boys (4 & 1.5). I also work full time and my husband has grad school 2 nights a week. Up to this point, my husband and I have been doing the 30DS dvd after our kids go to bed and I have started running a few night a week recently. I am at a point where I want to see what I can accomplish with my weight loss and changing my body. In order to do this, I feel like it's necessary for me to gain some structure and instruction with my workouts.

I found a wonderful trainer in my area that owns her own little gym. She does classes all throughout the week, but the groups are very small so it's more like a group traning session. I have signed up for two 50 min one on one training sessions with her. Those 2 sessions cost $110. I will also be paying $99/month for unlimited classes. If I make it to 3 classes a week, that's $8.25/class. It's also only $50 each time we get paid, every two weeks. I know that we can spend $50 in food and alcohol on any given week if we aren't being "good" and go out to eat a lot. She also works with you on nutrition, takes body fat and measurements. These are things I am in the dark about at this point.

I feel guilty about spending the money. I feel guilty about taking some time for myself to work on my body. Rationally, I know that I shouldn't, but I do.

Does this sound excessive? Is this too much $ to spend? We are not struggling financially. We aren't rich by any means, but we can afford this. I'm also willing to sacrifice other things I might spend money on to do this. I just keep going back in forth in my head btwn knowing I deserve to do this and feeling guilty for doing it.

Thoughts?

Replies

  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Does this sound excessive? Is this too much $ to spend? We are not struggling financially. We aren't rich by any means, but we can afford this. I'm also willing to sacrifice other things I might spend money on to do this. I just keep going back in forth in my head btwn knowing I deserve to do this and feeling guilty for doing it.

    Thoughts?

    I think that you answered your own questions.
    If you are going to the classes, and putting in the time, then it's worth it.
  • steph124ny
    steph124ny Posts: 238 Member
    Don't feel guilty about spending some time and money on getting yourself healthy. That's what will keep you around in the future for your kiddos. Plus, you are setting an example for them to take good care of themselves as well. Your whole family will be happier and healthier.
  • htmlgirl
    htmlgirl Posts: 314 Member
    You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to do something that'll improve your health. Did you talk to your husband before spending the money though (we have a $50 rule, if it's over that we discuss it before buying it)?
  • KaciWood19
    KaciWood19 Posts: 396 Member
    You and your hubby sound very similar to me and my bf. We have a 5 yr old, I work 40 hours, bf is a fireman and works 48 hour shifts, we get paid every 2 weeks, aren't rich but aren't poor. It was hard to make the first steps. I also tried doing homeworkouts but knew I needed the structure of the gym. bf kept telling me it was fine, to work it into our finances but I felt guilty for going to the gym for an hour at night and not being home cleaning, cooking, etc. Finally the bf bought me a membership for Christmas and now 4 months later, I never feel guilty anymore. Sometimes, stuff comes up and I don't get to go either. I just kind of take it in stride. I love that I am improving myself, and my bf does too. It gets easier to fit it in to your schedule and if you can afford it, it sounds really easily done. I think you should take the first step, sign up and stick with it. Make sure you work on finding balance with your family for your time, it will get easier as it becomes a routine.
  • jroja021
    jroja021 Posts: 74 Member
    If you can figure the numbers into your budget andd it doesn't strain the family at all then don't worry. You will be able to tell at the end of the month whether it does or does not put a strain. You need to think for yourself when it comes to weight loss because in the end it benefits you and your family by having you live a happy healthy long life. Plus when your kids see you going to the gym and taking classes they will want to as well and active kids are happy kids!
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 1,799 Member
    You shouldn't feel guilty about this at all.
  • Cocochickdeleted
    Cocochickdeleted Posts: 342 Member
    Look at it this way--invest in your health now, or all the money you save will probably go to pay doctor and hospital bills later, AND, think about how much better you will feel in your later years if you continue to take care of yourself.
  • Ripcode
    Ripcode Posts: 142 Member
    Think of it as "Investing in yourself".
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    I don't think it's excessive if she's offering genuine well-researched knowledge and advice.

    The danger I see with placing all your faith in another when it comes to health and nutrition is that if they're wrong they could be passing their own incorrect beliefs onto you rather than peer-reviewed, tried and tested science. I think we all owe it to ourselves to do the hard work and learn it all for ourselves. Using a trainer to keep you on track is great so long as you know enough to detect if they're talking BS or not.

    For perspective my wife and I pay $50 a month (for both of us) at the YMCA where we get a 5am - 11pm access, a pool, a myriad of free classes, and pretty solid workout advice from the trainers. They don't offer much nutrition advice or TDEE testing though. For the cost you mention I would want a hollywood celebrity level service.
  • NancyNiles
    NancyNiles Posts: 145 Member
    Think of this as an investment. You put the money out now, but you receive dividends in spades in the future. First through your own body changes, weight loss, fitness, and learning what you can about nutrition. Then with your children. They watch what you do and learn from it. You are teaching them a PRICELESS lesson to take care of themselves and their bodies. It may feel selfish now, but one day you (assuming you stick with it) you will look back on this as the best money you ever spent!

    Good luck, sweetie!
  • laynunugawa
    laynunugawa Posts: 108 Member
    I have two little girls and I feel the same way when I spend any kind of money on myself but like the people who have commented, if its for you getting fit and healthy its worth it. You should look at groupon too and see if anyone is running a promo for workouts. That is what I did, I found a small group fitness place that usually charges 50/hr or 150.00 for 30 days and I only paid 29bucks.

    since I have started, my kids have been asking to exercise with me and are happy to talk about what eating healthy is all about. You cant put a price on that. Good luck with your workouts.

    You may add me as well
  • KLo924
    KLo924 Posts: 379 Member
    Do you have to sign a long-term contract? Maybe try for a few months and see how it goes, figure it out from there.

    As long as you're not also spending the money on bad food and booze (I've totally rationalized health products by saying I'll cut out the bad stuff but gotten the bad stuff anyway lol) - go for it and see who you can become :) In the long run it may end up saving you money (on healthcare costs, food, etc.).

    *edit - Also, is there anywhere else for you to join? I've only ever paid between $15 and $45/month for gyms, with a few of those offering lots of classes. But then, I've never done personal training except for the odd free session a gym will throw in for new members.
  • aehartley
    aehartley Posts: 269 Member
    These are things that are not up for discussion at my house. I go to the gym on my own time, I pay for my membership and I pay for all my supplement ect. I work my *kitten* off. So my partner doesn't feel that she has any right to say anything about what I am doing ( unless she feels I am not eating enough - working out to much). On the other side, she wasn't really into the health or fitness ( although she is trying now) so I don't have any right to preach or to try and persude her.

    I have never thought twice about what I have spent to "better"myself. I have worked really hard. It has improved every aspect of my life. I am mentally tougher, I can "cheerlead" my way though almost anything I don't want to do. I have learned the value of respecting myself enough to make other respect me. All of the protin, supplements, clean eating and packing my lunches is so worth the life lessons I have been able to bring out of the gym :-)
  • Gail3260
    Gail3260 Posts: 354 Member
    Think of it as "Investing in yourself".

    ^^^^^THIS!
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 866 Member
    I understand what you are saying. That guilt of spending money on yourself and that money not going towards the kids or family. That is one reason why I had not been in a gym for over 10 years. I felt guilty spending the money and taking time away from the family.

    But, last year, I decided that I needed this for me. And my husband has been going to a gym since we dated and I never felt like he was wasting time or money doing it, he was doing something that is good for him! So, why not me too. The kids need a healthy mom. So, I joined a gym 16 months ago. Now, I get a free membership because I am the Zumba teacher, SO, I spend that gym membership money on my nails!! haha...I think it is a little something that I can splurge on myself....a little thing for me.

    If you can afford it, and it sounds like you can, I think it is good that you are talking care of your body. And, you are going to learn great things and pass these onto your kids. There may come a time that you no loner need the classes and can just have a gym membership, and that should be cheaper. And as a mom, sometimes we just need some time to relieve stress and to have some time being an adult. I am a SAHM, so I am around kids all day...kinda nice to be around other women and not teach someone their ABCs or did you pee in your pants? LOL!

    EDIT: The price seems high to me, but I am assuming this is for the personal trainer. You will not need her long. You will learn from her, then do it on your own. Then you should only be paying for a gym member ship and that should be a lot cheaper. Our gym is $35.00/month (this includes all classes, but not personal trainer)
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
    You said it perfectly if you aren't really drinking and you're cutting back on going out to eat you're really not spending extra money, just spending it on something different, so don't sweat it.
  • HappilyLifts
    HappilyLifts Posts: 429 Member
    I felt the same when I joined a gym, but I thought about the fact that I don't drink, smoke, go out socialising, eat out often or spend money on clothes and I felt much less guilty after that :-)
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
    If its something you enjoy and are going to stick with it, then I think its well worth the money spent on it. I sometimes feel guilty about my gym membership too, even though its only $20 a month. We can afford it too but there are plenty of other things that I sometimes feel like I should spend that $20 on. But I just think about how much I enjoy going, and how much healthier I'll be as a result.
  • DeepBreaths
    DeepBreaths Posts: 39
    You are adorable!! Mothers guilt is THE WORST.

    I think you are doing a wonderful thing for yourself. Plus the group sessions sound like a blessing, it can be so hard to get out with young kids.

    Pour that nervous energy wholly into your new adventure and don't look back!!
  • Arthemise1
    Arthemise1 Posts: 365 Member
    You want to be around to see your children grow up, so you're going to have to exercise. If the gym membership helps in that, it's worth the money. So you're really doing something good for yourself and your family
  • Alice_Liddell
    Alice_Liddell Posts: 78
    I understand how you feel. I don't work (for mental health reasons), so I feel guilty that I dropped 300 dollars a month on the registration and a month of personal training with my gym, and forty dollars a month for the membership. Like you, we're not struggling for money in the least, but I wasn't the one who made the money, you know? My husband is always telling me that it is OUR money, not HIS, but it's hard to feel like that when I'm not contributing.

    That said, I go to the gym. I work out. I work with my trainer (but only for two more weeks :sad: ). And I love it. Once I step into the gym, I don't feel guilty, I feel grateful. Grateful that we can afford it, grateful that my husband is kind enough to "allow" it (I'm not saying he tells me what I can and can't do, you know. Just that, well, I want him to be happy, and if I am doing something that he is unhappy with, I like to change that. I would hope that he'd do the same for me), grateful that I have the opportunity to get in shape and stay that way. I have the membership for a year. After that, I may just buy some home equipment to cut costs, but who knows? I might keep going. And I'm not going to feel guilty.

    We all need one or two things that are OURS, that we can do for ourselves, and there is no shame in being a little selfish sometimes. :smile:
  • iuali81
    iuali81 Posts: 47 Member
    I did not have to sign a contract, so it's just month to month. I think I'm going to give it a try and see if it's worth the money. If it's not, I will quit and find some place cheaper to go. Maybe after a couple months there I will feel more comfortable about going to the gym on my own and knowing what to do. I feel like that's a fair compromise. For the person that asked, yes, I did discuss this with my husband. He's not against me doing it. It's my own guilt that's making me feel this way!
  • getfitdiva
    getfitdiva Posts: 1,148 Member
    Mommies always feel guilty about devoting time for their health and body. It needs to end. I started working out when my kids were very young and now they are 4 & 6 and I work full-time. Although I love spending family time I was exhausted all the time, sleep deprived, and unhappy with myself.

    Once I incorporated a schedule to make working out a priority it turned out benefiting the whole family. I was able to release any of the stress that comes from juggling a tight schedule with work, home duties, and making family time. The results are now they have an energetic wife and mommy that is so much more fun to be around and now I can keep up with my hectic schedule and energetic kids.
  • jedibunny
    jedibunny Posts: 321
    I completely empathize with the feeling of guilt, though probably for other reasons... we aren't exactly in a happy place with money (hello student loans) and I grew up with two struggling parents who tried to pretend everything was ok (which became really easy to see through by age ~7). Because of this I look at money more conservatively than many, and felt like I couldn't afford a gym. Then I realized that I tended to splurge on other things "when I could" (i.e., when I got a paycheck and my bills were somewhat settled), and then found out that PF has a $20/month reciprocal membership. That sealed the deal for me.

    Now 2 months later I'm realizing exactly why PF charges so little. They have cardio equipment and weights and strength machines, like any gym... they have "perks" for Black Card holders (the $20 vs. their lesser $10 fee) which includes recriprocity, the ability to bring a guest every time, and lower fees for purchased beverages from the cooler... but they don't have a LOT of things you'd expect. Towels. Rentable locker space. Classes (aside from the "free unlimited training" which is essentially signing up for someone to show you how to use a machine). An indoor track. A pool. etc. Now I'm wondering whether I can justify paying more for an additional class or a different gym, even though PF does what I need it to do, which is get me off my @$$ and out of the house so I can at least do a little cardio in the morning.

    Aaaaanyway - what cgwatson said - I'm assuming that your initial fees are for the training sessions, and that's what I'm missing in my current setup, and that's what I think I'd pay for if I could afford it. Therefore: if you can afford it,do it! I'll also echo the "investment in you" sentiment.

    and a big thank you to the person who mentioned groupon! I'll be looking at that myself.

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